The Advice I Need

Cadence thought her relationship with Shinning Armor would never falter. But it did.

At the same time the Apples are visiting to sell more pies.

And a certain a certain green coated Apple can help with that.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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Archivist Nightwatch

Archivist Nightwatch #1 · May 15th, 2016 · 1 · ·

I would like t know what happened with shining

Heyah

Heyah #2 · May 15th, 2016 · · ·

7218091 Ok! Good to know!

Aeluna

Aeluna #3 · May 15th, 2016 · · ·

This has potential but needs work. You've really got to watch out for typos, especially when it comes to characters' names. Granny and Cadence were pretty OOC too. On which note, Granny's dialect and accent was almost entirely missing from the fic. Overlooking that, though, it was still pretty bland. It went nowhere—even by oneshot standards—and could easily have been summarised into 100 words as opposed to 1,000. For this sort of thing to work, you either need deep emotional trauma or an ongoing storyline really.

Sorry to be so negative, but I hope my comment'll help you improve.

Heyah

Heyah #4 · May 15th, 2016 · 1 · ·

7218271 Thank you. To be totally honest, I kind of rushed this story out. And there's certain characters that I'm just bad at writing for. I'll definitely be working on editing this.

Aeluna