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Princess Luna's job every night is to watch over the dreams of her subjects and make sure that nightmares are not to occur. She has done this every night since she came back from her 1000 year banishment. But something isn't right.
This night, she just doesn't feel the same as she usually does. It feels like nothing matters anymore. And that she isn't needed. And this catches the eye of one Fleur de Lis.
Does she have what it takes to cheer the princess of the night up?
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Bunch of things to say:
Fleur has lucid dreams? Also, since when are she and Princess Luna close friends? You try to bring that in with all of three or four sentences, but it kinda falls short as setup. That kind of occasion seems like it might be worth a substantial part of a chapter or perhaps serve nicely as a separate scene/short prologue. Also, it doesn't really sound like anything caught Fleur's eye (in the sense of observing something not immediately obvious), but rather that Luna, wearing her heart on a sleeve as it were, barged into Fleur's dream.
Otherwise, addressing Luna's dissatisfaction with her 'job' seems like a potentially interesting angle.
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Your writing could use some work and I think that initial negative seems like a funny way to start. The second sentence is kind of wonky. 'the stars were out' and 'the stars were shining brightly up in the sky' are two separate statements that start with 'the stars were'. Also, you make a redundant statement about the moon being full and I think the bit about the stars and the moon could be joined with a semicolon. You could even reduce this:
to
You should generally spell out numbers in writing (i.e. 'thousand' instead of '1000'). Also, you don't need as many paragraph breaks as you're using. Since it's the same 'scene' and there isn't a multi-party conversation, the first seven or eight breaks are almost pointless.
dost thou? (archaic form of 'do you') possible to be used with 'wish' -> "Yes, what dost thou wish to know?"
Honestly I'd ditch the archaic here and simply try to make her speak more formally somehow.
There should be a comma in there. 'Farewell, Fleur'. If you want to stretch it a bit you could convert 'farewell' into 'fare thee well'.
Long and short, this could use some revision. It doesn't flow real well and the word choice feels a bit clunky/awkward.
P.S.
You don't need a separate story to continue this.
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Thank you for your feedback. I always love to know ways I can improve my writing!
You really have helped alot!
(and no, that's not sarcasm.
I respect you for being so forward with your siggustions! Keep that up, it really is a good skill to have!
And also, thank you for taking the time to read this. I wrote it very late at night so it was sorta a shot in the dark.