Broken: Love

by Knackerman

A Many Splendored Thing

This was a place that had never known the gentle kiss of sunshine. There were no stars or moons to lend the least ray of light. A luminous fog drifted fitfully over the strange alien surface, lending only the barest shape while rendering all detail hopelessly distorted. The sound of apocryphal winds groaned in the vast black expanse, but not a breath of a true breeze could be felt there.

Perhaps that was for the best, as the damp chill that gripped the place would seep all too quickly into your bones, even without the aid of errant winds.

In the distance, the soft susurrus of echoing whispers were silenced, as the sound of a great iron bell tolled. Its resonant tones pealed, boomed like the slamming of coffin lids, rolling over the land of shadow. Strange smoke choked flames rose in the broken stillness, lending no light nor heat to chase away the dark and the chill, but rather adding a kind of warped definition to their surroundings. The fires rose, in great roaring braziers that followed the complex curves and plains of walls that knew no geometry, euclidean or otherwise. Lurid visages of pain, hatred, and madness leered from every surface of a darkling city that took sudden shape in the impenetrable gloom.

Edifices that could be obelisks or pyramids, as old and as dry as dust, were limed by the strange shadow light that spilled out over very inch of their wide, time worn steps. At the top of the tallest of these ziggurats, great bonfires of the smokey shadow flame erupted into twisted life, evincing the shadow of a great sarcophagus standing upright amid a circle of plinths. Each of the nine pillars was surmounted by a grotesque statue, terrible to look upon. One would actively try to avoid taking in the details of each, so strange and eye-wateringly distorted were they. All, that is, save one...

One statue that looked much like the rough-hewn features of the beast known only as Despair.

From the mouth of this image, an oily black stream issued forth. The fluid splattered on the cold stones, as the filthy liquid flowed through grooves that were intricately carved eons ago. The last part of a pattern was being slowly filled in with shimmering detail, as the silhouetted effigy of Despair wept and vomited forth its fetid flow. There was a brief glow as the last of the liquid reached the massive stone coffin and the sigil, that had lain dormant for millennia, was at long last complete. A whirlwind picks up, dispersing the chill fog that had settled over everything, sending dust devils howling through the empty streets of the ruined city.

After more years than can be counted, the haze that had engulfed these strange temples and towers are pushed away, to the very margins of its crumbling walls. The iron bell rings again, this time its clangor sounding like the last, and most chilling knell of an incomprehensible doom.

Even so, it too is all but drowned out by the long, low creak... Of the sarcophagus lid slowly opening.

---

"I'm not sure I like where this story is going," spoke a familiar male voice from the ether. This is another realm entire, one where chaos reigns supreme. But chaos cannot wholly exist without some degree of order. "It was nice of you to include me in your little stories. I appreciate that," said the voice again as a lions paw reached down and ruffled the purple and white swirled mane of a little pony. "But I worry about the game you've set in motion. These are dangerous and primordial forces you are playing with. I'm not sure things will turn out the way you would like."

Screwball looked up, her eyes swirled with utter delight, and more than a little madness, "Don't worry daddy. My story will have a happy ending."

Discord looked down at his adopted daughter with more than a little sadness as his ears drooped. "That's what I'm afraid of..."

Author's Note:

Welcome back to the Book of the Broken.

Comments

[Knackerman]

7220243 It's a possibility, though there's no way that Twilight could know that.

[Bluecatcinema]

That was quite an epic saga. And it looks like there's more to come...

[NewKerbalEmpire]

I have to say, I have read thousands of stories on this site, and this one exceeds all of them in one, simple category: This story is the most like the show. The pacing, the family-friendliness (which isn't really my cup of tea, but to each there own), and even the characters and concepts. Take that as you will.

[Knackerman]

7222175 I choose to take that to mean I got the characterizations right!

It's an observation I've seen on other stories and I know it can be as much compliment as complaint, but since that's what I was going for it's a compliment for me.

[StormyVenture]

Interesting read even if it's hard to like it due to the connection with your other stories. Too much mind-buck for it's own sake. This story is passable on it's own without it being part of this whole saga with Discord and the crazy pony who rewrites history however she likes here and there.

As for this particular story, there's a lot of nice description, but I will note that the pacing could use work in my opinion. The story feels very rushed despite being just over ten chapters. It feels like it all happened at the same time. If you meant for this to cover days or weeks, then that didn't make it through. Personally I'm not sure why some stories feel that way, but it's definitely a problem here, at least in my opinion. If you wanted it that way... well it doesn't really seem like enough time for all this to have developed and magical beams that just twist ponies that way, even other princesses, are kind of OP and unbelievable. See the first paragraph above.

[Knackerman]

7398840 Story is separate but in the same mythos as the previous saga. This trilogy is going to end up being it's own thing. And if it does feel like it didn't take place over the course of a week, that's good. It took place over about a day and a half. Didn't see a point in stretching things out further than that, though I'm sorry it ended up feeling a little rushed as a result.

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review!