• Member Since 8th Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen Jun 1st, 2023

ComingSun767

Don't hesitate to say hi

ComingSun767 Joined 8th Apr, 2016 · Offline

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Comments ( 45 )
Gravechild
Gravechild #1 · Apr 9th, 2016 · · 1 · Coming Sun {Rewrote} ·
Reply

Needs some spacing and punctuation when someone is talking so it stands out.
"Helps the readers know someone is talking" Said the commentator.

Comment posted by ComingSun767 deleted May 20th, 2016
Darkscout99
Darkscout99 #4 · Apr 13th, 2016 · · · Coming Sun {Rewrote} ·
Reply

7108811 I agree, and I've seen some sentences where you've put the period like this .im sorry but Im not sure how this story made it past screening.

Midnight Crow
Midnight Crow #6 · May 23rd, 2016 · · · Coming Sun {Rewrote} ·
Reply

.....i will clean this up......I'll try and help

Shadow of doubt
Shadow of doubt #7 · Jul 19th, 2016 · · · Debrief and mission beginning {R} ·
Reply

Granny, Mac and I are going to show Sun to his room now.


Fear me for I am the grammar natzi.

Blaze the draconic mage
Blaze the draconic mage #9 · Aug 14th, 2016 · · 2 · what now ? {R} ·
Reply

This story is really cool please make more

bennygrey
bennygrey #10 · Aug 16th, 2016 · · · A midnight dance {R} ·
Reply

7405721 Grammar Nazi

You spelt it wrong.

The Red Butcher
The Red Butcher #11 · Aug 22nd, 2016 · · · Coming Sun {Rewrote} ·
Reply

Good concept but you need some serious work done with the grammar, that's frigging horrible.

Light Verse
Light Verse #12 · Oct 2nd, 2016 · · 1 · Side bets {R} ·
Reply

O.......M........G!!!!!!!!!!!! :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1: :pinkiegasp: :derpyderp1:

biomecheon
biomecheon #13 · Mar 28th, 2017 · · · The crystal brick road {R} ·
Reply

It could just be me, but this chapter seems a bit rushed.

gamerbro123
gamerbro123 #15 · May 8th, 2017 · · · Coming Sun {Rewrote} ·
Reply

.... This reminds me of 'your human and you' just with sentient humans.:coolphoto:

Comment posted by Mr cold ghost deleted Aug 11th, 2019
Sun Fire
Sun Fire #18 · Mar 5th, 2018 · · · Dark Caves And Dark Secrets ·
Reply

Interesting, could be a little bit longer, but I'm not complaining. Wonder where you're going to take this.

Comment posted by Grizzly Nation deleted Aug 11th, 2019
Sun Fire
Sun Fire #20 · Jul 26th, 2018 · · · It's me Devilman ·
Reply

Immediately I turned to Shinning, "You'er not fighting are you?"

You're*

ComingSun767
ComingSun767 #25 · Jan 31st, 2020 · · · Side bets part 2, Three Brothers ·
Reply

10052648
More chapters coming your way very soon.

Gaslighting
Gaslighting #26 · Jun 7th, 2021 · · · A King and His Castle ·
Reply

"I think I have an announcement to make."

"I've come to make an announcement: shadow the hedgehog is a b-..."

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