- Member Since 4th Sep, 2015
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
DivinePanzer
Wanna be Hero, Like my idol Zero
DivinePanzer
Joined 4th Sep, 2015 ·
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Yeah, I don't know how to do superscript in BBcode either.
The second section felt like too much of an aside, too out of line with the first section.
When I got to the third section, it started to make a little more sense. The energy you mentioned to create an inadvertent portal could be an interesting setup for a story.
Overall, though, I was thinking that this felt like an outline of a first chapter of a longer story.
Then I got to the end.
I learned a few things writing this.
Look for cover art after you do a rough draft. I didn't even do a rough draft for this, but didn't feel I needed to either.
Don't worry about formatting until it get to the website.
I may have FINALLY figured out what editors do over the internet;wasn't really a thing back when I was in High School.
I feel terrible for writing this. The ending makes me smile hard. These 2 points should be irreconcilable.
7087770 Yeah, I explain a bit more in a blog, but this was definitely rushed. It kinda had to be.
I am a bit bummed it took so long to get approved, but maybe that makes it better?
7087945 If you keep writing, eventually they trust you enough to auto-approve stories. And you should keep writing!
Still a better love story than Twilight. I think. maybe. Ah who cares, brain bleach for everybody!
You can has review!
That ending
I like this, thanks for writing
9240500
Well...it was in the title, mostly. :P Glad you got a chuckle out of it!
I wish a little more care had been put into the writing, but holy shit, I have not laughed that hard in weeks!
9302352
Thanks, I guess?
I suppose on one hand that I could wish that I had had the story idea a bit earlier(I think I hammered this out in 2 hours or less), on the other...I feel like spending more time on it would have been....it got exactly the amount of time it deserved.
Hahaha! Wow... I totally did not see that coming. I had no idea where this was going, but that ending made rally great!
Well played.
I hate Twilight (the books) with a burning passion, but that was pretty damn funny.