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Cold in Gardez
Joined August 2011
1,516 followers
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Cold in Gardez
14
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Joined August 2011
1,516 followers
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44w, 4dOne-Shots
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39w, 6dExtremely Sad
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60w, 1hPony Fiction Vault
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I just don't know a better way to put this so:
THIS IS AWESOME
This was seryously one of the best things I have ever read
Not in this site, anywhere
Really well written, not a single mistake at grammar, flawless use of every word, great story, couldn't stop reading it unti the end. Wich was also
great by the way.
Absolutely no complaints on anything.
Just one question. Have you ever really worked with glass? The amount of details you put on the crafting parts is enormous, it looks like
you really know what you're talking about.
Keep up the GREAT work.
I can honestly say that I have never read anything this well written. It is hands down the best short story I have ever read. And I don't mean on this website. I've read countless short fiction stories in my literature class at my university and high school but none of them compares to the amount of detail and story-telling that you demonstrated. It seemed very classical and almost Shakespearean to me. I defiantly think that you should write more.
This is excellent, it's one of the best written fics i've read in the last couple of months, though the characters are clearly plot artifacts, this is a story that is not in the whole context of the show (in characterization) but what you tell with it is amazing.
And i have to yet see a fic where rarity gets as well written as this, but in a "good note"
but over all, i love this story. expertly written. well done sir 
Wow... Um... This is a hard left from your usual light hearted and funny comedy dude. This isn't appropriate for ponies though.
This needs to be adapted into a real short story. Honestly, this is a fantastic plot. Just change all the ponies into human characters and your golden. It works perfectly in that respect. You didn't use extensive characterizations here, since we learned everything about the characters from what was described scene by scene. Honestly, PLEASE, adapt this into a normal short story. You need only change the setting to Paris or London or some other appropriately city with a royal seat of power and every element meshes perfectly.
Please adapt this. This is a GREAT short story, worthy of publishing if you just subtract ponies. Excellent work. Fantastic work. And here I was holding you in such high regard just for The Cutie Mark Conspiracy!
This moved me like few pieces of writing have been able to. A masterful portrayal of two timeless characters, the love-struck fool and the beautiful maiden. An amazing telling of an eternal tale, of unrequited devotion and bitter contempt.
Few things are more powerful than a heart consumed by love. Few things are darker than a soul deprived of it.
I'm glad I checked out your work, people write good comments at EQD about it and that's what led me here. Usually I avoid [Sad] and [Grim-dark] like the plague but I do check them out only if they're well written. And this story was magnificently written, more than any other fic the suspense drew me in and kept me on the edge of my seat. Poor Rarity, wish it wasn't her and just another OC pony but what other way to get the point across of a beautiful maiden? Not that having her marks the story as any less then the masterpiece that is. I really loved this and will look into you other works. Will post a similar comment on EQD.
I literally cannot describe how beautiful this story is. I am especially fond of the twist ending. It's very thought-provoking and also provides a personal life lesson about seeking out your true love: that appearance and initial behaviors can be deceiving, and that only by looking deeply into a person's behaviors, word choice, reactions to various situations, and ultimately into their eyes, can you get any idea of their true self. In this story, it was the mirror in particular that fully revealed Rarity's inner demons, a reality which she denied. The glass blower, hopefully, has learned his lesson about giving his all to someone whom he does not know will do the same for him, as unconditionally as he did. I think Twilight Sparkle would be a much better match for him than Rarity ever could be. She would understand the meaning of unconditional love. 
Wow.
That was incredible. Your characterization of Rarity was spot-on. I got the sense that she was starting to care for him, but her pride wouldn't let her give into her love. The glass blower really came to life, even though you never named him. The climax was perfect. Overall, this story was like the best kind of fairy tale--a true, honest one that acts like the glass blower's perfect mirror, and shows us the truth about ourselves.
Side note: I loved how you made it dark without resorting to gratuitous violence, sex, or language. So many authors do that, and it really gets on my nerves. You let the darkness of the story speak for itself, without having to add any dark trappings.
That was great! As a rule I usually don't read MLP stories involving shipping, grimdark/dark, or Rarity, but I'm very glad I broke it this time. After the first gift, I thought the story was going to end with the glass blower making a glass Rarity and falling in love with it, but you obviously had more imaginative, and cruel, places to go.
Darker and more serious than your usual fare. I'm glad to see you trying out so many different styles. One of the best things about your writing is how versatile it is. You can go from super cute to super funny to dark and serious, and even disturbing. I've learned a lot from reading your stories.
I... I....
Sir,
Being a fan of the grim-dark category of fiction, I normally find my self experiencing less emotions than one would expect from a story where there is no light. But this.... This is beyond anything I have ever read. This, is the stuff of legends. Never before has a story of romance lost had this much meaning to me, and I would not be surprised if one never did again. Thank you for posting this... Masterpiece.
Love,
lol1759
It's new. When I was putting together the art for The Wind Thief, I did some playing around with other styles and decided to try making something for The Glass Blower as well. The full-size version is here:
http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=§ion=&global=1&q=akurion#/d4l0cie
I usually don't read grim/dark fics, but this one intrigued me, so I took a look. Rarity is still best pony, though. And Pinkie Pie. 
This is... This is... A true work of art, worthy of the nameless (and cutie mark-less, haven't found where it is mentioned) glass blower. The ending, was brilliant, subverting the whole "happy ever after" etc. etc. We can only wonder what Rarity saw, but it probably wasn't pretty 
.
But still, it made me... unhappy 
.
I loved the final version, but I do believe I love this version just as much! I don't think I've even encountered a fanfic written in this style, and you've done a very excellent job of writing it! It's different, but it's intriguing. Will you ever write another fiction in this style? I love reading various styles, because they all paint the story they're telling in various lights. It's inspiring.
Speaking of inspiration, what stories inspired you to write in this style? Sadly, I haven't been reading as much as I've wanted to in a long while, and I'm looking to add some variety to my reading list.
If only, if only...
Stories need to be this good. You are now ranked among greatest fanfictions of all time, and perhaps in overall fiction. The glass blower, even though he was never named, literally came alive through the narration, just like his glass hummingbird.
Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/087/427/Slow-Clap.gif
You skirted the line between the glass blowing process being incredibly arduous to scintillatingly interesting, but in the end the description and flow was perfectly executed. After each new forgery that the glass blower made, I had to ask what the next would be, and then when he explained the final piece, well... There was no way it could be a happy ending.
Somehow I think Vimbert would like this.
That was so beautiful and so sad. It's easy to imagine this taking place prior to the events of the series when Rarity was more self-absorbed than she has become recently, and I loved it.
I usually avoid sad or dark stories but this was truly a masterpiece and I congratulate you for writing this. I really feel for the glass blower and his plight. He poured his heart into his work so much and in the end all he got was shattered.
Truly a materful work of art you have created here, I'm not sure what else I can say, there's nothing I can point out that's wrong so I can't really leave a more detailed review.
This was really... unique. The whole atmosphere of the writing; I felt like reading a fairy tale spread mouth to mouth. Not the kind of fairy tale you read for children before sleep, but the kind you recite on long winter evenings.
To be less poetic, I also liked that the story was, in fact, labeled dark: the reader and Sticks both saw the impending disaster, yet could do nothing to stop the blinded glass blower. The story was ominous, without being violent or gory; truly deserving the [Dark] tag.
Others have already said this, so I just mention it: yes, Rarity was a bit OOC. Perhaps if we assume the story takes place before she befriends Twilight and the others (given that, according to Sticks, she still loves Blueblood)... I, personally, imagined an alternate universe Rarity without friends, and that worked well for me.
I know you have already been asked this, but I'm simply curious: do you have any experiences in blowing glass? Just asking since your description was so detailed.
P.S.: I came here after reading your comedies and learning you think this story deserves more attention. You see, writing quality comedies does increase the appreciation for your other stories!
I'm usually very cautious about these types of stories because, although they're more often than not beautifully written, they become really tiresome, really annoying, and really unrealistic. Plus, usually neither the lead nor the designated love interest are ever three dimensional, and the only thing that saves an unoriginal concept is interesting characters.
Yours, however, was a pleasant surprise. I've really only read this story from you, I'm not sure how much more you've written nor have I taken a look at anything else yet, but it seems your strength is in the characters, this being second to your prose (which wasn't overdone and hit a perfect balance, by the way). Short pieces like this usually have trouble establishing defining personalities on the focus characters, but I didn't sense anyone to be a cardboard cut out here. Well done!
The story became a little predictable as I continued, especially when the mirror aspect was introduced. Although there was not much surprises, it was all told very well. What matters is the execution, and that was more than perfect :) Great job.
A masterful tale, indeed. For one, reevaulating the magic of Earth ponies in cool and beautiful ways is always a plus 
not to mention this fic has the flavor of a well-crafted fairy tale, which makes it all the better. Truly, each time I was just hoping Rarity would finally accept the Glass Blower's gifts.. only to be reminded of the only, truly good direction this story could go. Maybe it was the fact that you played a very mean Rarity here, much unlike I've seen in the other fics dealing with the Element of Generosity =P but it surely did its job.
Congratualtions, for the Glass Blower is a beautiful, magical, pure character, and such purity and innocence is the stuff of great tales.
This story is simply amazing! It feels like the 'adultized' (not really a word 
) version of some of those fairytales that we know from childhood. And by adultized I mean that it doesn't end with a sappy-happy ending but with a lot more probable (but not so desirable) outcome. What's more, the story ventures deep into the souls of us humans (though probably not into the ponies' souls 
) to explain our motivations, wishes, and the things that drive us to go on some of the times. It's simply brilliant!
This story just earned itself a fav. I would also watch you for it but, alas, I'm already your follower. 
If I might add, I would really love the story even more (if that's even possible) if it was left with the original Victorian style. Really, through the whole story I felt the Victorian climate so much (the setting, the characters, even the speech) that the 'modern' dialogue seemed a bit off at places. And then I read some of the original diction you presented and thought that's what the story was supposed to be. Ah, well, you can't have it all, I guess.
While I hadn't read this story when it came out, I'm glad that I've done so now. It's easily one of the most moving pieces I've read.
I have to say, the glass blower is a very-well written character. The reader doesn't know his name, or even his appearance, yet there's so much we've found out about him. From how I perceived it, he devotes himself tirelessly to crafting a piece of art just for what he believes is his one true love. Even when that work, he does it again, three more times. It's really sad to see a situation like that, where his dreams just have to be crushed in the end, but even though we're lead to expect it, it's just as brutal when we actually read it.
I think the dialogue is very well crafted. Sticks is given his own personality, and as I mentioned before, so is the glass blower. I also loved the slow warping of his mind as his obsession for Rarity grows more and more. As scary as it is, you can't help but feel sympathetic for him, and even Sticks just for being close to him. Rarity may have been slightly out of character, though I like this newer, slightly changed Rarity. This is a tragedy (albeit, a light one), isn't it?
The narrative style is done very well. The whole thing seems like you've been spending a lot of time on it, but a many lines catch your attention more than the others. Notice, many, not just a few. I couldn't just paste them all here.
Really, I don't know what else to say. There's probably a lot more, but I can't find anything wrong. It certainly deserves more attention, because I honestly think that a lot of people would show the same reaction I had upon reading it. This is a story just as beautiful as it is heartbreaking.
Holy. Shit.
I'm speechless (wordless I suppose is more appropriate). The moment he finished his 'perfect' mirror and showed it to Sticks, I immediately got goosebumps all over knowing what would come next. And the very ending itself doesn't fail to deliver.
I think pretty much everyone else has said enough praise as it is and I would only be repeating it, but... Wow. Just, wow.
You definitely deserve more recognition for this one.
You have achieved literature with this story. You've taken some of the most classical themes and spun them together in a pony fanfic in a way that is both elegant and spellbinding. Nothing felt out of place, and the pacing, while monotone, fit perfectly. You've executed this as close to flawless as about any other work on the site I've yet seen, alongside All Paths Lead Home. Color me pleasantly impressed.
(And Sticks, strung up like a puppet! To what was he bound, I wonder... Loyalty? Sympathy? Some other aspect of his life we weren't shown?)
The phrase 'Beauty is only skin deep' definitely came to mind with that ending. I enjoyed the obscurity with what Rarity must have looked like, too. Too bad for the glass blower, though. This story kind of reminded me of The Picture of Dorian Gray, at least a little bit with the mirror.
The dark tag had me worried initially, but I have to remind myself that dark doesn't necessarily translate to horror or death. I guess you could say that the glass blower died, at least on the inside. Poor guy probably shattered into pieces like the mirror did. Deep symbolism, heh.
Thanks for another great read, Gardez. It's always an enjoyable experience reading what you write.
I made an account just to comment on YOUR story because it is one of my favorites. I honestly feel like you should just make the ponies into humans and it would be a great original story. It sounded like an old tale that's been passed down for decades because of the style that it was told in and the familiar way of story-telling. You have instantly became one of my favorite authors after reading this. You write like a poet and you sound like a romantic, that's my favorite kind of writer. You should publish something in the near future because I just checked out your gryphon story, and you have the potential to make a masterpiece.
When I first read this story yesterday:
My initial reaction was, "Very nicely written, but that's no Rarity I've ever met!"
But after thinking about it all day, I realize that, yes, I have met that Rarity. She's the Rarity you introduce us to at the beginning of Salvation if she'd been two minutes later leaving that shop, had missed Rainbow Dash on the street, had therefore missed her chance to get herself straightened out, and had continued to sink into the bitter stew of her own self-loathing.
This is the sort of consistency of vision that I heartily approve of. Well done stuff all around!
Mike
...
This was maybe one of the best stories I have every read. If it was not for the fact this was a fic and I knew this was a fic I would think it was the sneak peek or a wonderful story of its own merits. I would print this out, on many pages and bind it to a book so it could forever be place on my bookshelf. The perfect fireside story for generations to come.
This story is timeless! <3
It's very good. Damn good. I got the sense of it being a fairy tale, almost. The repeated challenge (I kept expecting it to be just three), the almost exactly repeated lines whenever the Rarity rocked up, the unexplained magic (well, almost unexplained). And of course, well characterised as all get-out.
Of course, I'm damned intrigued to know what Rarity saw, tho' I'm sure we can guess.
>>1508254 When Rarity saw herself in his final creation; magical mirror that shows the true side of pony. When Rarity took a look, it showed her as ugly, shallow and awful pony. That's why Rarity began to yell out this:
“You lie!” she shouted. Her lips drew back, exposing her teeth. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “There is nothing true about this!” She reared up and brought her hooves crashing down on the mirror, knocking it from the stand onto the cold, hard cobblestones.A normal mirror would have shattered, but this was a special mirror, a perfect mirror. It clattered and came to rest with only a few chips along its edges. But Rarity was not done.
“I am beautiful!” she cried. She brought her hooves smashing down on the mirror. The cracks grew.
“I am honest!” She slammed her hooves against it. “I am true!” Again.
“I am a good pony!” she screamed. With a flash of light that left everypony momentarily blind, the mirror shattered into a thousand glittering pieces.
As for the glass blower-
“What the…” He looked back at the glass blower, who had turned the mirror around and was gazing into it. “By Celestia, what is that thing?”“It’s a perfect mirror,” the glass blower muttered. “It doesn’t just reflect; it shows us as we are within. It shows the true us.” He sighed quietly, and continued. “When I look in it, I see a pony as fragile as glass, blinded by love, ready to shatter at the slightest touch.” He reached a hoof up to touch his cheek, and flinched, as though really about to break.
“But I also see a happy pony. The happiest pony in the world, Sticks, because his dreams are about to come true. At long last, Sticks, all my dreams are about to come true.”
Sticks felt sick. The room seemed to spin for a moment before he recovered.
“Don’t do this,” he said. “That thing won’t get you what you want. If we were meant to see inside ourselves, our eyes would have that gift. Smash it. Break it before it hurts someone.”
In end, the glass blower lost his chance at love and Rarity had her own ugly truth being told to her, by the mirror. Get it?
I did 'understand' the ending in a literal sense. I just didn't get the point of the story. It was written very much like a parable except I can derive no meaning from it. Some authors have blogged about stories having an intended audience with some sort of intended message. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't know what you are trying to say with this story. You have all the pieces together and so nice but nothing to hold them together in the end. 
ScratchFi -- I don't think there's a lesson or a moral to be derived from this. Perhaps the most you can find here is a warning about pride and obsession.
If anyone is interested in some of the thought that went into this story, I suggest this blog post by RBDash, from the Vault: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/46088
you know... this really reminds me of aesop's fables. This should be on the first page of the top rated stories. Honestly this is one of the better stories i have read on this site, and I have read a sizeable number of them. Congrats on the excellent story, keep up the good work.
I don't know if this matters to you, but I felt compelled to write a small review on this story on my forum. You're welcome to take a look.
Absolutely riveting from start to finish. It reads like the best kind of fairy tale; I can't read it without imagining someone telling it as a story.
How did this take me more than a year to find? 
This story REALLY needs more appreciation! I wish I could like this a hundred times.
First section: immaculate. I clicked the “Thumbs Up” button after three sentences. Goodness gracious, can you write. I love what happened, I love how we saw it happen, and I love the elevated dialogue. Who hasn’t wished to express those first feelings of love so eloquently? This reads very much like a classical story of romance, and I’m able to take it seriously. What a delightful way to start a story. I like this poetic, driven glass blower already.
Second section: amazing. I love the pace and detail of your descriptions. It’s never overwhelming and remains entertaining while it informs. I’ve never seen a glass blower at work, but whether or not this is the method truly used by such artists, I can clearly see this meticulous stallion at work beside his forge. A surprising conclusion to this part, as well. I love his dedication. Your passage of time is well handled, as well.
Third section: fascinating. Way to add another character for the glass blower to converse with. Picks up the narrative, makes it feel even more real. One thing I love about writers like you is that you take the world of the fic seriously. You have them talking about unicorns and magic like it’s normal to them—because it is. And goodness, if I liked the ending of the last section, this one was simply stunning. Very cinematic, which I (studying film) appreciate.
Fourth section: engaging. I like the brief paragraphs you dedicate to setting the scene before (or sometimes in between) focusing on the characters. It gives us a good feel of what’s happening around them. That’s a detail I need to work on. I love that the friend’s dialogue is more casual and modern; it really contrasts and accentuates our beloved glass blower’s prose.
… Gaaaah! Rarity!? What a racist little… second best pony! Moving on…
Fifth section: is so good. I’m just gonna read the rest without interrupting myself.
…
Quick note, you’re amazing. The flow and rhythm of your words is matched by no one else. The perfect amount of description and narrative is as professional as it is artistic. The way you hint at things with just enough detail to worry the reader – like Rarity’s distress with the glass blower’s lack of a horn – is a gripping device that harrows and interests me at the same time. Your imagination is off the charts.
…
I’m worried with Sticks. The glass blower’s confidence is more unnerving than anything. The passion with which he crafted the flower and bird seems to have vanished. Though this next work will surely be beautiful, I fear for its intention.
…
…that mirror… oh crap… Dorian Gray, anyone?
…
Whole fic: Unbelievable. I’m angry at myself for waiting so long to read it. Its pacing and escalation was perfect, perfect. That was shown especially well by the changes in the crowd and guards whenever the glass blower’s work was presented.
I especially loved it because it was a story. A real story with a real lesson to learn, and very powerful way of teaching it. It worked so well as a ponyfic, but it could just as easily be an original masterpiece, or even a revolutionary short film.
The craft of the writing was delightful, the imagination behind the story impeccable, and the moral was positively, devastatingly real. I loved everything about this story. Thank you for recommending it to me.
Sorry for the monster comment.
This is now my favourite story on the site. Move aside Scy, you're not the best in my eyes anymore.
If you read this Gardez, would you say your other work is as good as this? The incredible detail and perfect flow makes this the perfect idea of a tragedy in my eyes, but I want to know what you think.
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