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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That was FAST, Awesome!
puu.sh/AE6L
Btw No Dislikes (Like A Bawss)
Nice chapter.
There's an odd sentence here, though: "His sheer was smashed the stand like cardboard, -"
779808 woopsie, that should say "weight". I'll go fix it when the site lets me.
I! WANT! MOAR!
fightersgeneration.com/np5/blaz-cs/sprites/2/3/hazama-wind.gif
All right, you are officially my favourite author on the site right now. This was a great break from having to study environmental economics. You are doing a marvelous job of depicting the conflict between Shield's Spartan ideals and modern peaceful Equestria.
779882
He shoves helpless fillies to the ground because he cares.
Awesome fanfic...AND history education.
You my dear sir, are an angel
I wonder if there will be shipping in this story.....
779931 SHHHHH!
have not enjoy a story so much in a while
Glad to have read it
I laughed the majority of this chapter. That was pretty hilarious.
Keep it up!
go on...
BRING ON SOME MORE OR I'LL BURN YOU INTO ASHES!!!!!!!!!
images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/16700000/Natsu-natsu-dragneel-16725633-801-443.jpg
Good idea for fanfic
Good writing
Good transitions
Good flow
Good choice of vocabulary
Great background knowledge
You've done exceptionally well I'll have to check out your other stories, you seem to be an experienced writer. I DEMAND MOAR OR I SHALL SUMMON THE WRATH OF SPARTAN SHIELD UPON YOUR HOUSEHOLD Muahahahaaa
Moreeee!!!!!!
Your story make me happy. Have a moustache.
"The titanic draft horses fell into sugar comas with a simultaneous pair of moans, knocked out."
Wait do i understand this correctly. The solar guards got some sorta gadgets which causes major sugar infections into the target and then making them enter a coma.
If i understand this correctly then i got 2 wors to say
Da Fuq?
But epic
Ooo?
Does Twilight have the hots for the big, burly and muscly Spartan Shield?
An exciting chapter and story. Informative, too, seeing as how I just finished learning about Spartan culture.
Awesome job!
779939
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I liked the Braveheart moment you had there. There is nothing more demoralizng than knowing just how badly you are outclassed in every way.
780133
with lemons? deviantart.com/download/221561691/flaming_lemons_by_xxthenightskyxx-d3nwu3f.gif ???...
This isn't the spazzy sci-fi part of fimfic. is it...
Edit: oh and I forgot, I love how you are giving more and more of the back story at the same time the present story continues!
Its like two stories in one! And of course it helps in reminding the reader just how different things are for him.
Quite a few noticeable errors, but all in all, really fun! But the historian in me cringed at some of the misunderstandings of Spartan culture (like the agoge) but that's all right.
>Spartan Stallion ball sacks.
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YYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!
That was hilarious! I cant wait for more!
Weaponized pies. Nice Touch.
I'm suprised that this story only got 1 dislike whoever that guy is he's a hater but good story funny as fuck.
Not to sound weird or anything but if it my sister had been standing on a fruit stand I would have shoved her off before the spartan did.
I wonder if Big Mac and Spartan Shield will dress up as each other on Nightmare Night...
780758Hehehe
>The red draft horse looked at him like he’d gone made.
>at which point the Spartan would be considered a full citizen
780852 >is not green
781077 [link]
781148 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
“Present—flanks!”
That, and the resulting scene. PRICELESS.
780225
>"Unleash the wrath of Spartan Shield on your household..."
Nuh uh. The writer is Spartan Shield's commanding officer - after all, he does everything the writer says. If nothing else, Shield would just turn on you.
And i doubt you want that...
I can now give my full support to this fic. Obvious from chap1 he was gonna fight mac, and I was gonna give up if either one soundly won. You have passed my test with ease.
779802 one dislike, actually. Just impossible to see the bar. =3
i need more of this epic story
I think decimation was the wrong word to use in the flashback, in that context it brings to mind the original meaning of the word, (one man in ten being executed), rather than the modern one, (great destruction). Perhaps annihilation would be a better choice.
780416
You mean you don't? Am I the only one?
...
Aaaaawkwaaaard...
---
Also, did I notice an Avatar: the Last Airbender reference?
You know, Carrot Top as the cabbage guy.
ALSO! This is amazing! :D
Jussayin'.
Eeyup
779808>>780826>>782426
So many errors, how embarrassing... thanks for pointing those out for me guys. Sometimes I write so fast and get so excited I gotta post it right away. Comments and favs are like super-cupcake-sugar-crack to me, so I gotta throw it up as soon as I can, haha. (That's why I write so fast >.>) BUT! I've fixed what you guys pointed out, so its all good now. Thanks for the eagle eyes.
782915
For some reason, I now see you bouncing around, typing rapidly on your keyboard like Pinkie Pie on a sugar high.
780826 Are you saying Twilight's book is wrong? I've been studying wikipedia for some of the things I referenced. If you have a scholarly source to correct me with, please do and I'll change what she says.
782952 Which sucks for me because I despise Pinkie Pie.
...
Even though I wrote two huge stories about her (Seeing the Pattern 1 and 2).
781976 Pssh, Spartan would realize how awesome this fic is and take my side
'What did I just read?!” she clutched at her head a little. “Who could raise a colt that way?! It would turn him into a monster!” Or a self-sufficient, handsome and powerful warrior, said a little voice in her head.'
Is it me or does the voice in her head sound somewhat horny?
783919 Its always the quiet ones.
783948
Heh tell me about it >.>
783383>>782954
"The snatching of a seven year-old colt, and throwing him into the wilderness to fend for himself until age fifteen"
No wilderness or snatching (which is the worst idea for a training regimen. This would literally turn them into animals, if they survive, with no idea of civilisation or respect for authority and discipline that is needed for the army). It was very rigid and prestigious; prospective Spartiates were grouped together and learned to form a bond with their "herds" and fellow recruits, and all trained and lived under the lead of an older Spartiate (overall supervised by a citizen drill-sergeant-type guy) until 12, when they entered into a kind of mentor-apprentice relationship with a full citizen.
There's a bunch of books I have that I can't provide a link to, but some writings of Xenophon on the agoge (the most reliable contemporary Greek historian of the time of Classical Sparta on such a subject) would be good if you can find them.
The continuing flashbacks at the start of the chapter detailing the last fight Spartan Shield participated in are just excellent for giving us the background that made Spartan what he is. Nice touch with the taunting of the Lunar forces, I can just see that line of stallions shaking it at the Lunar lines and then retreating to their defensive lines to regroup.
And judging from his actions in the market square, I'd say that Spartan's got a long way to go before he figures out modern Equestria, even with assistance. I'll give Big Mac props for giving Spartan three strikes with Apple Bloom (well, two shoves and what looked like a potential third, anyway), he probably did a better job holding his temper than Applejack would have in that situation. Apple Bloom seems to have impressed Spartan to an extent, though for a Cutie Mark Crusader that might not be such a good thing. (Especially when he's still thinking in the Spartan training mode for young colts. If he decides that in Neo Equestria the agoge concept could be applied to fillies as well as colts, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom might be at serious risk.) Though, I was pretty sure that under the agoge as practiced by the Spartans, the individual herds were supervised by an adult during their trials, not just sent off to fend for their own. Was this a case where Twilight's reference material was faulty due to improperly recorded traditions over the elapsed time?
And Spartan's first encounter with the modern police armament of weaponized sugar in pie form was well written, though I don't recall Solar Guards being stationed in Ponyville except during a royal visit. Still, there has to be some sort of police force in town, they can't just rely on Twilight and the Elements to handle everything. (Well, with the lax security we see in canon, I suppose that in "reality" they probably do, after all for a herding creature it's hard to act contrary to the dictates of the herd in the first place.) It sounds like he and Big Mac have done a little bonding over their fight, it will be interesting to see how that carries over to the morning. (For that matter, I can't wait to see what Applejack has to say to the two of them when she catches up with Big Macintosh the next morning. I'm sure it will be a doozy.)
Weaponized pies hmm? Dang, all i could find was this.
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I know from experiences with brothers and classmates that many male friendships start like big mac and spartan shield's. 1. Get angry at each other. 2. Fight. 3. Come to an honorable end=BFF. Love it darling
Virile.
And so the feelings start to appear.
Women. Suckers for the big-strong jock type.