How I think an episode of that title should have been; basically a retelling of an Adventures in Odyssey episode. When Apple Bloom falls from the CMC treehouse and hits her head, she wakes up to a very strange series of adventures, guided by a mare and stallion who seem vaguely familiar.
A good first story. I didn't see any problems.
Interesting premise. I take it each chapter will be a new story and each will feature these familiar ponies?