• Member Since 4th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen May 20th, 2016

Dank1234


Just a new guy on this site

Comments ( 114 )

Great story keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next chapter.

7009591 any criticism helps and I thank you for pointing out lacking things as for the editing do you know any editors and a proof-reader and I am new to this place so its all to new for me

Oh my gosh yes! I've been waiting so long for the London Monitor to be in Equestria! :pinkiehappy:

CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE, RETURN TO YOUR HOMES.

There are some grammical errors but there is one that really bugs me. "Wen't" <--- it's just went. Went doesn't need a '.

7011743 Yeah I have a habit of doing that but ill change that in the next chapter

Comment posted by BAND1T deleted Mar 9th, 2016

by robots you mean the cyclops mech? or augmented ubersoldat?

Comment posted by Dank1234 deleted Mar 9th, 2016

7012837 Its a boss which you encounter in chapter 14 when Bj exits the London Nautica

7013562 you mean the one at the exit of london nautica, the red eyed?

Comment posted by BAND1T deleted Apr 5th, 2016
Comment posted by BAND1T deleted Apr 5th, 2016

7018687 Ill let the Monitor decide that... maybe it might help the griffons? who knows?

When is the next cahpter coming out?

7020238 Chapter 3 just came out now

Nice cant wait for the next one :twilightsmile:

Did somebody call, THE MODERATOR?!

7024505 Sorry, I had to do it. And it's a reference to The Moderator's catchphrase from KuleDud3's YT series Newbies.

Yes cant wait for the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

This is entertaining, hope you continue.

Nice if you keep putting a new chapter up everyday than i would be very happy and also cant wait for the next one :pinkiehappy:

7028758 well I don't have a schedule really, and since I have alot of free time I just write

Nice cant wait for the next one :pinkiehappy:

Why doesn't this story have a dark tag?

7030862 forgot to put one. Hold on lemme change that

Yes two chapters in the same day that is awesome!!!!
Cant wait for the next one :pinkiehappy:

well time for celestia to learn the pecking order

Comment posted by BAND1T deleted Apr 5th, 2016

Yes cant wait for the next one :pinkiehappy:

And the device somehow absorbs an ethereal, emotion based energy that can manipulate matter, despite the fact there is no way it actaully COULD do shit like that cause the energy in question would be impossible to even detect let alone take.

Yeahp, jsut as i thought. Pulling shit outta the ass like i predicted >_<

I would be awesome if the Monitor could make more guard robots and panzerhunds by itself

7038361 Imagine it like GTA V where you can hold RPG's in your pockets, this machine is OP but not too OP

7038382 Maybe I might bring in a U-Boat? Who knows

7038406 I'm saying that it has zero basis to be able to even comprehend magic, let alone absorb it. It is a construct of science, though of course science fiction science. Magic in equestria flips science the bird then fucks its mother for good measure.

In adition, as a concept all on its own, it is plot convenience that it could just absorb magical energy like that. For thep lot without enough thought put into it.

So its a concept that does not work, and its execution is an example of poor writing.

Are you writing the next chapter right now?

7038420 Ummmm I'm currently letting my imagination be free, at this moment I'm still thinking off a scenario for the train scene

7038419 Hence its Dank I wrote it for dankness

7038422 Ok :pinkiehappy:
Just keep up the good work :pinkiehappy:

Awesome chapter!!!! Cant wait for the next one :pinkiehappy:

7038762 glad you enjoyed it

Great chapter. looking forward to the next one.

Comment posted by BAND1T deleted Apr 5th, 2016

I approve of the slaughter against the foul rapist, although it was a factor I could've been fine without... I was already wishing their deaths before the whole rape, so it just left a bad taste in my mouth... Unless you were trying to us it as a set up for some interesting character development for my second favorite Princess, and (by extension) my favorite Princess, then I fail to see why what necessitated her rape. You could have had other excuses to write clop, if that was your angle, we already hated them enough for permanent Karmic Justice, and I can't accept "because reasons". The only reasons that should ever happen in a story, is as a premise for an important character event (which you better hope to execute properly)... So, I really hope you can redeem this piece from that volatile powder keg you placed in your story...

Nice cliffhanger cant wait for the next one :pinkiehappy:

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