- Member Since 6th May, 2016
- offline last seen 23 hours ago
82nd Division
"It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first." - Miyamoto Musashi
82nd Division
Joined 6th May, 2016 ·
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hey that pretty good
7385087 Hey man thanks, it really means a lot to me, really...
Even just a few like, just made my day...
I will get the second out soon, and try my best on it because i know its going to take a lot of thinking for it to read and sound good...
But anyway, thanks and have a nice day
Oh...and sorry for the misspelled words,i forgot to fix those, and i know their are more small problems in this to that are mostly the words i typed...
I will do better on the next chapter...
You actually did a good job at the historical job, but I'll hold off on grading that till more is out. I'm interested where you go with this, good luck.
7385300
as long as historically correct has good action and decent grammer its good. honestly ive read storys with alot worse grammer. Also dank maymay (memes) make story better. (jk meme are horrible in story unless it ww2 memes where 3 nazi walked in a BAR)
Found a few mistakes
when a Boiler at the factory he worked at, exploded
Dont need a capital letter for boiler
on a Transport plane about to jump into hell itself.
Again, no need for the capital letter
when the Airplane starts to lean to right,
No need for capital letter
knocking him unconscious
Forgot a full stop
for the Chrysilis to not hear due to the loud explosions that happen all around them.
*Chrysalis
But for Chrsilis to presume they are dead
*Chrysalis
Cyrsilis says in her head.
*Chrysalis
But then looks at the creature who is observing the death
Add a 'she' after then
"Did you complete your mission, my child."
Add a question mark at the end of child.
oooo I like this it starts before D-Day hell yeah take that twilight see how you can survive the most destructive war in history
7392681 glad you like it
...
"Forty"; avoid numerals in prose (unless they're really awkward big ones).
Dick move, Chrysalis! Dick move, I say!
Am I correct in assuming that Twilight will be badass in this story?
Sugar... riiiiiiiight.
img08.deviantart.net/2ca7/i/2012/031/c/1/pinkie_pie_cocaine_wallpaper_by_bluuper-d4oa31b.png
7385126
I just barely made my account and this was the first story I found and wanted to read. By Golly it was one of the best choices I've made. This story is incredible!! Keep up the terrific work!!
7392695
Still you blow me away with this amazing story. If you ever need any help or a proofreader please let me know. I love this story!!
7393617 wow...that means a lot man...mind telling me what parts you liked and also what parts i could improve on so i can keep all you guys entertained?...
Found a few mistakes
Twilight wings shivers
*Twilight's wings shivered
"Is it that pink-pony."
Add a question mark at the end
7393719
I just loved how you didn't make the characters annoying like a lot of other people do. You sure know how to write a story.
Nice story so far, but the german translation sucks. Google translate?
7397275 yea, i dont know any other way of typing the German Language, but if you have any ideas, mind telling me so i improve it next time?
...but thanks for the input
7397542 If you want, I could help you with the translation or even do the whole german translation for you. Wouldn't be the first time for me and I am a german myself, so that helps^^
7397649 oh really?!... that cool man, and but inwoll ask for help from you when their a German word i need, but thanks.
She.
Missing 'she' (though I'd replace the whole thing with "Passing through the bush," since there's a following 'she' in the next bit).
I think a word went missing, there.
Also, mind your tenses. The chapter starts in present tense, then switches to past.
Hmm that would be interesting but it not gonna happen or is it
Like I said in Chapter 1, I'm really interested where this goes. Also, great job with keeping their landing spot relatively vague so far. Keep at it and if you need any historical help, I'm here, eh.
Colt .45 pistol easily my favorite.
M1911 and m1 Thompson smg
When you only know about WWII from Cod and Hitler books
I live a sad life.
That being said, M1 Garand is, I guess
Mine has to be the M1919 30. cal heavy MG.
Oh, Twilight; remember who you are. You aren't made to kill, and magic is far more versatile than a gun.
m1 thompsom
Are you planning on continuing this ?
Hoping to see an update soon, interesting story mate. The M1 Carbine would have been my personal choice.
Insta FAVE!
7397986 when we getting update or have you lost interest
7643613
Patience is all I need,
Commander sir.
springfield also moreee plzzz!!!
Who did the drawing on the cover? its really good i would like to know the artist
Have to say, Twi can be pretty annoying... this only strengthens my argument against her
WM1897TG and more plzzzzzz
Dam this is a really good story
Oh new chapter. Been keeping my eye on this story. I do wonder how twilight will get out of this. As for your question:
I'm not American, meaning I honestly don't mind.
I'm also curious about whether Twilight will start helping the soldiers, passively or not (shields could be helpful). I'll be hoping the Sargent doesn't get any "evil" ideas about Twilight either.
The grammar needs to be improved
Hello everybody, sorry for the long wait for the next chapter...
I have not given up on this story, that I will tell you.
I've been very busy with my school, and I'm also revising my Chapters to sound more better than ot was before....because boy that was cringy
Anyway, please check out this new story I came up with, check it out if you have the time.
Its posted in my blogs.
Tell me what you think of it.
No update? ;-;
Moar?
You all thought I was dead, or that this story was dead?...
Nah, I was just taking a break.
The next chapter will be out soon.👍
Just remember that american where not only ones fighting against germans in D-day you need to give some credit to british, canadians and french. Because if this is one of thous stories where american are all saints and germans are embodiment of evil just because then i can't read this it would be like eny other american war movie.
8944343
This is just the beginning segment of the story.
I know the Canadians and French resistance units were part of the Invasion, but (For now), this segment just takes place and focuses on the 82nd Airborne Division and their help on the Utah Landing Site of D-Day.
I will definitly be adding Brotish and other events that has happened during the Invasion. But right now, it is just Twilight and the pockets of the Airborne troops trying to take Utah Beach.
Talk about a fuckin RIP... No new chapters yet.