The Great and Powerful Trixie wishs to apologize

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Almost freezing to death has its perks… not really, unless you’re as desperate as Trixie the Great and Powerful; she wishes to earn the forgiveness of everypony in Ponyville. In order for her plan to succeed she needs the assistance of her most unlikely ally; Twilight Sparkle, while grappling with emerging romantic feelings for her ex-rival. If Rainbow Dash doesn’t chase her off first; Trixie may get the fresh start she wants… that she needs.

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Comments ( 5 )

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Frankie2

Frankie2 #1 · Feb 28th, 2016 · 1 · ·

Wow. Anymore?

psycher7

psycher7 #2 · Feb 28th, 2016 · 1 · ·

I like the story; Trixie is one of my favorite characters, and the idea of her seeking redemption, friendship, and love I'm all for. The ending was a little rushed, and some of the dialogue a bit wordy, but still good. On the technical side, though, it needs a lot of polish. There's a lot of missing or wrong punctuation. Especially at the beginning, verb tenses change radically, sometimes even in the same sentence. This one, for example:

All the animals are either hibernating or are all cozy within their den or cave, all the birds flew south

Starts off in present tense, then moves into simple past tense. It should be have flown if you want to keep the present tense, or just make everything past so it becomes

All the animals were either hibernating or all cozy within their den or cave [can cut out that second 'to be' verb entirely], [optional 'and' or use semicolon instead of comma] the birds had flown south

I would definitely encourage you to keep writing, but get an experienced proofreader.

Swashbucklist

Swashbucklist #3 · Feb 28th, 2016 · 1 · ·

You must've written this during Season One. It's a carbon copy of every "shamed and suffering Trixie comes to Twilight to apologize" fic out there.

Is it impossible for Trixie to view Spike in the same category as the mane six? Is it equally impossible for Spike to be as concerned for Trixie as Twilight is?

DarkMidnight

DarkMidnight #4 · Feb 28th, 2016 · 1 · ·

6982945 I started this story at the beginning of the month and finished a few weeks ago; I'm not sure when this story takes place, but it is well after Season One. Some fan fictions are probably bound to have similarities, but different writers can take a theme and interpret it in many different ways. If my story is anything like someone else's story, it is purely an accidental coincidence.

I'll admit Trixie does seem to kind of ignore Spike, that was unintentional; I think Trixie is just really preoccupied stressing over earning forgiveness from so many ponies that she neglected to acknowledge how Spike is just as important as the rest of the mane six.

I think that Spike not showing much concern for Trixie is all an act; he's approaching a time in his life that he tries to act tough, maybe he is trying to act more like those teenage dragons from the episode Dragon Quest. It probably doesn't help that Trixie was antagonizing his friends, especially Twilight who basically raised him; I think deep down he does care about Trixie, but he is wary of her past grievances and wants to reserve his true feelings until he knows Trixie can be trusted.

Tome