The Last Chapter
Hunger had forced Fluttershy to leave her home and go into her new town to purchase supplies. She knew roughly where the market was, and she had been working her timid way toward it for the past half-hour, darting from streetlight to streetlight to avoid the weight of the night on her back. At last, she came into view of the market square, and shrank away from the quiet press of bodies around the food and grocery stalls. Two years before, she might have registered the desperation in everypony’s movements. Now, that was background noise, filtered out by familiarity.
She stayed on the fringe of the market and looked around for the least busy stall. Her eyes landed on a lone stall attended by an orange mare. Fluttershy crept toward that stall, fighting down her fear by firmly informing herself that two nights without eating was enough and her hunger was more important than her fear. She didn’t believe it, but she kept walking anyway.
At the stall, the shopkeeper was standing close to a lantern and touching up her makeup from a mirrored compact. Fluttershy stood by for one minute, then two, hoping that the shopkeeper would look up and notice her. Fluttershy looked at her as she continued to work on her makeup. Her blonde mane was done up in an elaborate braided bun, interwoven with a red ribbon. Her orange-red coat was the color of dawn—a color Fluttershy was surprised to find that she remembered—and it hugged sleek, soft curves, not a hard edge anywhere on her body. Her cutie mark was a trio of oranges, and Fluttershy’s mouth watered at the sight. She had not seen an orange in years.
Fluttershy’s stomach rumbled, a digestive noise hardly louder than a whisper. It was loud enough to attract the attention of the shopkeeper, who looked up in surprise, meeting Fluttershy’s startled eyes.
Fluttershy blushed a hot red and turned to flee in embarrassment, but the shopkeeper’s voice stopped her in her tracks. “I say, darling, wherever are you going? You do intend to buy something, do you not?”
Fluttershy dragged her head around to face the shopkeeper, her eyes screwed shut. She had to say something; silence would only make her angry and that would be worse than simple embarrassment. “Yes . . .?” she managed, then cracked an eyelid open, wary of the shopkeeper’s reaction.
Fluttershy opened both eyes in surprise; the mare behind the stall didn’t look angry at all. She was smiling. Fluttershy’s suspicion at the strange reaction warred with her hunger, and the hunger won. “I’d like to buy . . .” She glanced down and found that the cart contained an assortment of withered apples shining dully in the lamplight. “. . . an apple, please, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.” She flinched away as she finished speaking, knowing that the shopkeeper’s smile would soon turn ugly and mocking. But there was something strange in the shopkeeper’s green eyes. Fluttershy stared at them for a long moment before remembering what that expression was. It was sympathy. She shrank back as the shopkeeper extended a hoof toward her.
The shopkeeper said, “Please, calm yourself, my good mare. There is no reason for you to be nervous. I am Applejack, and you are . . .?”
Fluttershy tentatively touched her own hoof to Applejack’s, dropping the contact after a fraction of a second. “Fluttershy,” she said, as she continued staring at Applejack. Fluttershy had never met a pony who treated her like this, and she was not sure how to act. Experience told her that Applejack would begin heaping abuse on her at any moment, but there was something in those green eyes that made Fluttershy feel like she was safe at home in the sunshine. She shifted her gaze away from Applejack’s unsettling eyes to stare at the long-dead grass between her hooves.
“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Fluttershy. How many apples would you like?”
“Just one, thank you, if that’s fine with you.” Fluttershy’s stomach rumbled again. “I mean, um, two, please.” Another rumble. Fluttershy hid behind her mane. “. . . Five apples, please. I’m sorry.”
Applejack’s laughter bubbled up out of her like water from a spring. Fluttershy winced, but realized after a moment that she was not mocking her. She brushed her mane away from her face and showed Applejack a tiny smile. Her stomach grumbled again, and Applejack picked up a shrunken apple from the cart and offered it to Fluttershy. “Take this, Miss Fluttershy, I insist. You clearly have need of it.”
Fluttershy normally would never impose like that, but Applejack continued to hold the apple out toward her, so she took it so that Applejack’s arm wouldn’t get tired. She nibbled at it as Applejack placed her apples in a paper bag. Her blonde bun shone in the lamplight like a little sun, golden light so bright that Fluttershy had to wipe away tears.
Applejack folded the bag over, then fixed her with an earnest green-eyed look. “Miss Fluttershy, I find myself wondering about your cutie mark. It is quite unusual, is it not? Would you mind terribly explaining it to me?”
Fluttershy glanced at her own flank, seeing the fluffy black cloud there. At flight school, she had been constantly bullied. Before long, she had found that she could conceal herself within the clouds and nopony would find her. If they couldn’t find her, they couldn’t hurt her or call her names, so she spent more and more of her time hidden away in her fluffy, private nests. One day her chief tormentors were searching for her and stepped directly on her cloud without noticing her. When she had finally stopped shaking, she noticed that she had been marked by the experience.
She looked off into the dark, away from Applejack’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’d really rather not talk about it, if that’s alright.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow, then rearranged her expression into a genteel smile. “It’s perfectly alright, my dear. I apologize for bringing up a sensitive matter. I hope you can forgive me.”
Fluttershy gasped, her wide eyes flicking to Applejack’s calm ones. “No! No, it’s fine, it’s nothing. You don’t need forgiveness from somepony like me. I’m sorry for not answering you.” She looked at the ground, biting her lip.
Applejack tilted her head a fraction, considering the terrified mare. She smoothed her voice to a buttery tone, hoping to draw her out of her shell. “How long have you lived in Ponyville, Miss Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy glanced up, but went back to staring at the dirt between her hooves. “Four nights,” she murmured.
“If you don’t mind me asking, Fluttershy, darling, what brought you to this backwater little burg?”
Fluttershy looked up at last, a real smile on her face. Applejack blinked in surprise at seeing it. “Ponyville is a backwater little burg, isn’t it?” Her smile broadened. “It’s simply wonderful.”
Applejack forced her eyebrows down out of her hairline. “. . . Is that so?”
“Oh, yes. I wanted to find the smallest, emptiest, and boringest town in Equestria, and I finally found it. Ponyville is . . .” She sighed blissfully. “wonderful.” She stared into space for a moment, then blinked and focused on Applejack with a wince. “Um, I’m sorry. Nopony wants to hear about me. Do you live here in Ponyville, Applejack?”
“Moon, no. If you will pardon my language.” Her bubbling laugh had a jagged edge to it, as though the spring had iced over. “I hail from Manehattan. I find myself called to little Ponyville to help my relatives pack up and move. They are farming folk, you see, and since, well, you know,” she gestured at the night sky with a graceful motion, “the apples haven’t been growing as they should. My dear, rustic relatives have heard rumor that there is still sun in the south, so they are ‘pulling up stakes,’ as they put it, and traveling in that direction.” She rapped a hoof on the top of the apple stand. “It just so happens that ‘helping my relatives move’ looks a great deal like ‘selling apples in the market all night, every night.’ To my relief, they are nearly ready to leave, so with a bit of luck, I should be on the train to Manehattan tomorrow.”
Fluttershy offered a small smile. “I’m happy. For you, I mean. That you’re going back home, I mean. That’s nice for you.”
Applejack returned her smile. “Thank you, my dear. Ponyville has a certain . . . charm, I suppose, for some ponies, but it’s not Manehattan. It’s not home. I shall be glad to see the last of it.”
Fluttershy was surprised to find that she was feeling sad at the thought of Applejack leaving. Normally Fluttershy wanted to be as far away from every other pony as possible, but Applejack was different. She was so nice. Fluttershy would have liked to listen to her talk more.
Maybe there were other ponies in Ponyville who were as nice as Applejack? Fluttershy looked out over the market, seeing anew the quiet desperation on every face as they clustered together in the lamplight at the run-down food stalls, and she turned away quickly. Applejack was waiting politely for her to say something, and Fluttershy quailed. “It was very nice to meet you, Applejack. I should go now.”
The corners of Applejack’s eyes crinkled as she smiled, and Fluttershy couldn’t help but smile back. “It was truly a pleasure to meet you, Miss Fluttershy. Enjoy your apples, will you please?”
Fluttershy bent to pick up the bag of apples in her teeth, but hesitated. She looked past Applejack’s shoulder. “Maybe I’ll come and buy more apples tomorrow.”
Applejack nodded. “I would enjoy that. I shall see you tomorrow, then, darling.”
Looking at Applejack’s smile and her dawn-colored coat, Fluttershy felt her chest buoyed, a lightness she hadn’t felt since she was very small, when she used to sit in the bright sunlight with her parents and feel safe and secure. She breathed a small shuddering sigh. She would definitely come back tomorrow to feel like this again, even if only for a little while.
She picked up the folded paper bag of apples in her mouth, dipped her head to Applejack by way of a goodbye, and crept out of the stall’s bubble of light toward her new house. She moved from streetlight to streetlight, darting through the darkness between, but the weight of the always-night sky pressed down on her each time, squeezing the light of dawn out of her heart drop by drop.
The next night, she could not bear the darkness. She did not go to the market. Later, she heard the train whistle moaning in the distance, and she curled herself closer around her lantern and cried.
- - - - -
Author’s Note: This story was originally written as an entry for prompt #9 over at Thirty Minute Ponies. The prompt was named Such Sweet Sorrow, and it was “Write a Flutterjack fic which includes the last words Fluttershy and Applejack ever say to one another.” On consideration, I realized that everyone was going to do either “one of them dies” or “they have a terrible breakup and stop talking to each other,” which were my first two ideas. So I sat around and thought about it, and the idea of an AU without Dash popped into my head, and the idea that without the Sonic Rainboom, the ponies would not have met, and probably would not have become the Elements of Harmony. And that turned into this. I didn’t submit it to TMP because it took me well over half an hour to write. So here it is.
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This looks interesting... Wwill read now...
Wow, that was amazing, I can forgive you for taking out my favorite charecter for writing this amazing story.
A very interesting plotline that I look forward to learning about more. The fact that Rainbow Dash did not do the sonic rainboom brings a whole new perspective on the entire town (specifically the mane 6's cutie marks and their mannerisms). I enjoy the way Applejack talks considering the oranges raised her instead of the Apples..
732829
Took me a while to remember that scene from Cutie Mark Chronicles - one of my favourites - from the show.
I don't know... I still can't see A.J. as being a city-slicker high-society pony. It just doesn't feel right. I'd still imagine Applejack feeling a tad depressed at times, longing for the open country road. Almost begs for me to write a follow-up about the Applejack in this story, like a "something's missing that should have been but never was" type story. I don't know... I don't think I'd be able to get motivated enough to write that.
732967 I know exactly what you mean. I don't know where the author is planning on taking it but I'm hoping for a glimpse of the old country Applejack in her thoughts and dialogue...we'll see though.
733031
Since the story's marked complete, I don't think Author plans on going farther.
That said, I'm notorious for completing a story and then revisiting it.
I know you marked this as complete, and I understand why. However, you left quite a bit open, and, now that the prompt's restrictions are gone, some of those open ends can be explored.
Oh, and this was an excellent story. Well done
Great idea! AppleJack stuck in Manehattan, Fluttershy... in clouds. Hm, i wonder what Rarity is doing in this universe. Twi is probably working in some library never passing too school for gifted unicorns. And thats all thanks to never existing Dash
733152 I did not even notice that...now I'm sad.
Very nicely done.
Oooh...haunting. Now more plz. where are Twi and Pinkie and Rarity in this grey and sad world? And is there any chance they might somehow all meet?
Fluttershy needs a hug.
Sooo.... Nightmare Moon wasn't defeated, or..... cause that's what it sounds like
That was an amazing story, NorsePony. I wonder why I'm not watching you...no matter, that's easily fixed.
Ow. My heart hurts now. Well done, well done indeed.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Life if a tapestry. Simply pulling one string can unravel the whole lot, something you've conveyed here quite expertly.
1290165 Aw, thanks. : ) I appreciate the comment.
The emotion packed into 2,000 (More or less) words here is amazing. Wonderful job, NorsePony.
... Holy crap... That was... amazing... (Oh, and get ready to be bombarded by new readers. WandererD and Seattle_Lite featured this in a blog about hidden gems. :3 (And sorry if I got Seattle's name wrong. I'm horrible at spelling.))
RIGHT IN THE FEELS
By which I mean, this is proof that the new hidden gem thing works, because this is one of the shiniest gems around. Seriously, it's just so amazingly bleak.
Wow. "Hidden gem" is right. I can't find any faults with this story. It tells just enough, and leaves the reader to fill in the rest. It's so perfectly bleak and sad yet somehow touching...
Bravo. That's all I can say.
I truly enjoyed this read. Very interesting. Yes, it is in fact a hidden gem. But I am actually kind of glad Nightmare Moon won. Nightmare Moon is my second favorite character after all. :)
Dammit. I hate sad fic, but why do I like this one!?
I am curious on what happened to the rest of the ponies. I assume lots and lots of sex via NMM
1530600 1530663 1530890 1531027 Thanks, all of you. I'm ridiculously flattered that the story was chosen by the reviewers, and I'm glad that everyone is liking it.
Here, all of my sad. Take it.
Zero dislikes. Quite the accomplishment. I dare say you earned it. This is a wonderful little one-shot. By any chance, are you going to/did you create the events with the other characters? Always hated that about one-shots. Leaving questions unanswered.
Edit: Just noticed I wrote this whole comment in fragments, I really need to lower the Doctor intake.
Whoa.
My only true expression. So simple yet so sad and deep.
1532931 I've considered it a number of times, actually. I haven't gotten around to writing them because there's always something else to write, but I do have pretty clear pictures of where they each wound up instead of becoming the Elements of Harmony. So, I don't know if I will write it, but it's something I'd like to do at some point.
1536489
Good to know. I'll keep an eye open for them if you ever do make them.
That was a gem. I love the way you portrayed Fluttershy.
This story really hits home. Or a home run. Nice use of raising my spirits only to crush them at the last sentence. Favorited!
Well done sir, tbh I actually expected Fluttershy's "tormentor" to be Rainbow Dash but it makes sense reading the epilogue in regards to the title.
I liked it, it was original.
Though this is a retread of tried and true territory, Fluttershy's recharacterization was compelling, not to mention I'm really impressed with how you used that prompt. Good work!
Very though provoking and sad. Really well done.
Sad but good fic, i love it
.
I hope you don't mind, but I liked this fic so much I have put together an audio version on YouTube.
3030718 Oh wow. That's the first reading anyone has ever done of one of my fics. I'm tremendously flattered.
And you gave an amazing performance! I've not heard a better reading in the fandom. Thanks a bunch. : )
Well, that was depressing.
I quite enjoyed this. A clever, emotional little fic that explores an interesting alternate scenario.
3036359 Haha, thanks. Sorry to depress you. : D
Raven: ......... Twist time! Fluttershy musters up the courage to go to the market the next night, and BAM! AJ's there! Didn't go to Manehatten, since she felt she oughta stay till 'Shy comes back and fulfills her promise. (Well, not exactly a promise, but anyways...) And they lived happily ever after to the end of their days.
Dr. X: Very delightful, if I may say.
Double space.
If you ever hit a writer's block, think about continuing this or fleshing out the universe a bit more. It would definitely be something to read.
3449309 Thanks for the eagle-eye. Fixed. And maybe that'll happen someday, or maybe not. I'unno. We'll find out. : )
This, is very well done. Like and favorite well done.
Creative and effective use of metaphor and personification, such as with:
just in the first paragraph.
As much as part of me kind of wants "more" of this and consequently for this short piece to be expounded upon and lengthened, the better part of me thinks you should simply ignore the other pleas for this to be made longer and keep it as it is. I mean, the inherent briefness of this passage, so as it could be called just a passage, is part of its natural charm. Additionally, while unrelated stories could be written within this Rainbow-less universe, the unanswered questions brought up by this are basic enough in nature and can be easily answered by the reader's own imagination, which is one of the more important tools of fiction. No Rainbow Dash means no pony stood up for Fluttershy, and there was no sonic rainboom, and thusly we can say that Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle never earned their canon cutie marks, reinforced by both AJ and Flutters' alternate flank marks, meaning that Pinkie is still unhappily toiling away on a rock farm, Rarity gave up on her dreams of being a fashionista as she was about to do in the Cutie Mark Chronicles, and Twilight never got into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and thusly never met Spike or anypony else dependent on that, never became Celestia's personal protégé, and obviously never became an alicorn, leaving no pony sufficient to stop Nightmare Moon's return and eternal night.
Adding new chapters to this just to give that sort of information seems pointless to me, and would steal away some of that magic and mystery that makes this piece so excellent. Or, at least, that's my opinion.
My opinion is also that this is pretty damn good, in case that needed to be said again.
This was amazing. Excellently thought out and really well written. Each word has feeling and meaning, you manage to capture the fleeting last ember of hope just like the taste of the last bites of a wrinkled apple. You have written a story of sublime sadness, worthy of the title of literature. Seriously, it reminded me quite at bit at Wolfgang Borchert's short stories.
I will admit, whether or not you shall ever look at this post, I would like to say, this is a fic that meets a standard of creativity...to see that there are people who think on alternatives instead of what's originally placed, for that I say I hope your work always be this great
This was a nice take on the "counterfactual" brand of ponyfics. (And yes, I do consider canon to be fact. I mean, who doesn't?
) Once I'd realised that AJ's accent was because she'd stayed with Aunt & Uncle Orange, everything slotted into place very well -- AJ's character is more like Rarity's canon character, and since Fluttershy and Rarity get on very well in the show, that was satisfying.
Not the most cheery of stories, but then it could hardly be any other way. Not sure about "Applejacks arm", but I guess that's a stylistic decision. Very nice. Have a +fav and a yay.
Wow, this was an interesting, is sad, look at what the lives of Fluttershy and AJ could have been if Rainbow Dash had never existed, as well a brief look at the possible consequences for Ponyville... Your characterisation of Fluttershy was great, showing what could of happened to her if she was never brought out of her shell, being scared to the point that she misses her last chance to see the one pony who's ever been nice to her from the looks of things...
Ive just gained a new appreciation for rainbow dash.
i felt really bad for fluttershy. but, maybe, just maybe, she can go to manehatten (they've lots of bright lights, so the darkness wouldn't press down on her) and she could find applejack
for the record, i learned of this from scribbler's reading