- Member Since 3rd Sep, 2015
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Black Hailstorm
A never-ending storm of ideas
Black Hailstorm
Joined 3rd Sep, 2015 ·
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Black Hailstorm · 8.6k words · 34 6 · 2.2k views
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- Black Hailstorm · 8.6k words · 34 6 · 2.2k views
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So he does not attempt to kill himself? We would have thought he'd jump off the city or something.
Pre read. Ok by the description I'm super wary coming into this, I don't exactly know what I'm expecting...
Post read.
I'm horrified... This... This is just. I just. I can't even words right now. I cannot believe, that the sovereign leaders of Equestria, thought it was ok to do something so horrifically cruel against someone's wishes. I just. Everybody in this world is stupid! Just what the hell! It's just... Damn. I'm drawing a blank right now. I came into this story with the impression that you were going to use a canon-ish Equestria but I was wrong, this version you've made, they're worse than people because it's not just senseless murder or anything like that it's... I can't describe it. I can't find the word. Just damn.
Take my likes. Take my favorites. You deserve them.
6897808
Ah yes, an interesting turnout wouldn't it? But the Dark tag is there for a reason. Also there is a few things to consider, which is where I will throw a 2nd Person scenario at you.
1. You find out you've injured innocents, not meaning to, but after running away from predators you find civilization. What do you expect to see? You're a human, you've never been on this other world before nor do you know what to expect. Talking animals? AMAZING!, but when they attack you? Not cool.
What do you do? Given Stickler's case, he had just spent a restless night staying awake, obviously losing copious amounts of energy, he has no more to use after coming into Ponyville. The equines freak out, he worries, they attack, he defends.
2. When Stickler remembers everything he understands why he is here and he knows his mistake, but does not agree with his punishment because the ponies were at fault also.
What do you do? Mind you, you are in front of Princess Luna, there are guards outside, you are fatigue, hungry, and do not have enough energy to do extreme amounts of damage if an entire battalion of pegasi, and unicorns came at you.
3. Stickler was knocked out, they drugged his food enough to the point where he would be knocked out instantly, all in an attempt to save his life from the populace of Equestria angry at him. You have already been turned into an equine, you just don't realize it immediately. When you do would you jump out the window? Despite the fact that you are already an equine and no longer human? Or would you display your humanity through your following actions?
Honestly asking here.
6898021
The description I'm not really sure. I thought the synopsis was okay, but I guess I'll fix that later. Way to busy with college work to do much nowadays.
And I agree, the dark tag did well didn't it? When I typed this up I had to take in a lot of both Celestia and Luna's morales, and ultimately I ended up picking this as their decision for him. Killing Stickler would be heartless. It was an accident, a mistake. (Hence the story's title and chapter name), exiling him out of Equestria. Would be worse, he knows nothing of their world, and speaks none of their language. He is only able to gain assumptions from the manner and way the ponies speak, that is implied many times with the guards. If he were to face griffons or any other creatures outside Equestria, who knows what would happen?
Having him introduced back into Ponyville, where the incident occurred, and where some Canterlot nobles had been around the time, would be a nightmare for him. Chances are some wouldn't be so easily willing to take in his apologies, especially when there are likely chances that as he fired he hit foals and colts, fillies, and the old as well.
Ultimately I had to pick them turning him into a pony with Discord's help (which was not easy, proven by the hint I left when Celestia used her magic to lift him), and have him slowly integrated back into society as a pony before being revealed for who he really is.
Seeing as how things are going for this story there will probably be no sequel, but hey, at least it's getting views right? My hard work payed off for something at least.
6898079 In short he did NOT instigate any fighting, first of all if he had no weapon and they still attacked him into an inch of his life even with the language barrier being an issue. This would have been WORSE than the Zecora incident, it would show how racist they are to other species not of the three tribes. Seeing how discord is free he likely would have also been against turning a human into a pony, humans are chaotic creatures to him and would believe he falls under his protection.
As for the punishment, he stated what he wished. Even if he was walking up to a gallow or headspony axe all he would have wanted his to say his peace and be done with it, but changing the species he was born into something alien and horrific after realizing it? They stole the decision from him even when he said no to becoming a pony, now he has NEW issues and those with lingering hate after him still as if to provoke him into acting out again even if justified. Ponies are a herd mentality that humans are not, besides would he even wish continuing to live in a world that took everything from him but his life just to keep torturing him? He'll never get close to anyone intimately or even consider a relationship because, in the back of his mind he'll know they are tricking him again. He'll never be alone as there likely will be a couple undercover guards following to make sure he 'adjusts'.
In a human based society if a human was turned into a pony how fucked would their mind become at some point? born and raised as a human, taught that loving anything not human is either sinful or downright wrong in society and laws. He'll always consider ponies as animals, even if he is one now. besides he wouldn't even need to try hard just to kill himself in a far more dangerous world than where he came from.
6898142
CORRECT! Especially that first part. There was no true 'weapon' in Stickler's possession and he did not really instigate anything except for just being there. Paintball or nothing, the ponies had no reason to attack him. But since they are of a completely different species and are almost likely bound to freak out at somethings I played that in mind to Stickler's paintball gun. Had them see it as a weapon, have them assume he was trying to hurt them.
This: This would have been WORSE than the Zecora incident, it would show how racist they are to other species not of the three tribes.
Everything you've said is pretty spot on. Discord's role, I have to admit I didn't play that in mind, it was kinda late I was getting tired, no excuses I know, but I just decided to have him play some sort of role. And I agree the psychological damage this would do to Stickler, would be...insane. Very very bad. But I diverse, back to your line up there.
There is always one line from the show that constantly weighs heavily on my mind. And that is the episode "Putting Your Hoof Down." Where Iron Will tries to get his money from Fluttershy and Rarity and Pinkie try to stop him.
On two occasions during this time both element of laughter, and element of generosity call Iron Will a "monster". While this line wasn't meant to cause harm and just a play on words, I believe that if Iron Will had heard this from Rarity, and Pinkie who had agreed there would be some sort of dispute between minotaurs and equines. Mainly because they used the term "monster" to refer to Iron Will, a sentient civilized being, trying to making a living. Not an irrational creature bent on ruining Equestrian's lives.
It's from this viewpoint, that I twisted things in a way only this time with Stickler. A human, with a device for entertainment. Ponies being a completely different species, not having seen something of this form before, would assume it is a weapon and attack. Try and kick him out so they wouldn't get any trouble. But in the end, results turned unfavorable.
Stickler's decision to refuse, probably sealed his right there. BUT now that I think about it, I could actually come up with an alternative ending to this a little less dark, and a bit more interesting to the reader. That will most likely happen in the weekend if I have time. If there are anymore questions I'll answer them later, hopefully my reasons for going about this method clears things up even if a little.
6898079 Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu Nu. You should definitely make a sequel, especially if it was your plan in the first place. I really like this story and I had hoped I had gotten that across in my first comment but if not I'll say it here. While me and others may be horrified and against what happens in the story, it doesn't mean we don't want more. It means we like this story and care enough about it to want to discuss the atrocities committed by the characters in it.
Ok and first, he was acting in self defense. Applejack charged him(And knowing her strength) what would she have done when she got to him? Bucked him? Head butted him? How much damage would that have done? No matter what if she was going to do anything but talk to him, it was going to hurt. So he had no other choice than to defend himself. And then what happens? The entire square rushes him and he defends himself again. On earth he would most likely have gotten off free and the ponies would have been charged with assault and possibly a hate crime.
Now he's been stripped of his rights, tortured by guards, and then transformed into something he, until a few days ago, considered nothing but an animal.
When he was talking to the princess every point he made she treated as if it didn't matter. It was like.
if you catch my drift.
6898367 Also the ponies turning stickler the HUMAN into a pony if learned by the Minotaurs could be damning on the world political scale, because half of Minotaur origins comes from A Human. Basically Equestria imprisoned and changed someone who was literally and figuratively there Forerunner. (another story had a Minotaur referring to a human as their Forerunner, or ancestor.) They would likely declare war on Equestria as a result, would the princesses change the former human back or keep him a pony and risk open war in however centuries long peace they held?
damn. just damn. why did the princesses have to be such big douchebags. you can't let that man embrace his humanity and grant his wish! ugg
anyways i realy liked the story. i feel like you could continue on this and make a great series
6899096 Yes! Encourage him! Sequel!
There needs to be a sequel where Stickler gets cold, merciless revenge.
The ponies will reap what they have sowed.
I remember reading this but in the end, after becoming a pony and saying (me too) he walks to a window and jumps.
did it get edited or did I read a copy and paste with an alternate ending?
8513410
There was one story that I can vaguely recall, similar to this. And you're not wrong about there being a moment where the MC jumps after being turned into a pony, but the author of that story, isn't me.
sequel to this story?
What’s wrong with the sandwich?
So was he sent there on a mission or was trying to have fun?
How did it hit him?
Ohh. So he’s black? Interesting.
So their language is backwards?
How would he know that?
Why?
Boy, you better leave my government name out your mouth and watch that tone.
Is he that strong?
Just raise your hands.
What did she do?
You’re not sorry.
Does he get revenge?