Have a bite.

“Well uhm, howdy, Rainbow Dash.”
“Oh…Hi, AJ. “*Crunch*

“…Nice day, isn't it?”
“....”
"Yep... yep, sure glad to be outside enjoying a nice day like this."
"Eh. It's an ok day, I guess."
"...Ok..."

*Crunch*

“So… What was ah thinkin'... ehm...yer gonna sign up for running of the leaves?”
“I guess.”
“Well, ah sure hope ya do. It won’t be the same without ya, ya know.”
“It’s five moons away, AJ.”
“Yeah, but… well, it’s good to be prepared ya know.”
“I guess.” *Crunch*

“So…any new stunts ya been practicing?”
“Nope”
“Really? Ya usually keep practicing all the time.”
“Well, I can change my mind from time to time, can’t I?” *Gulp*
“Yeah.... Ya know, it’s been a while since ah saw ya around the acres?”
“I know.
“Ya know... Have ya…been up to something special?”
“No.”
"...Ok..."

*crunch*

“Ya know, Rainbow, yer starting to worry ponies. How are ya really? It’s been a while since we had a talk, ya know?”
*gulp* “I’m fine, AJ. Everything’s ok, everything’s great, everything is… just peachy.”

“Ya look a bit off.”
“What do you mean, off?”
“Well… Them black rings under yer eyes.”
“Oh. Tank has trouble sleeping.” *Crunch*
“Tank?”
“Yep. Poor little guy. He keeps me awake all night.”
“Tank? Tank is keeping you awake? How?”
“He’s pining for the fjords.”
“Pining for the…?”
“The fjords. You know, tortoises as water-living animals. He longs for the sea.”
“Yeah, ah get that, but… fjords?”
“Yes, fjords. A long, narrow inlet with steep sides or cliffs, created by glacial erosion.“
“Say what now? On the other hand, never mind. Ya read that in a Daring Do-book, ah guess?”
“Yep. You learn a lot from Daring Do.” *Crunch*

“O…kay… Sorry, Rainbow, but ah have to ask, what are ya eating all the time?”
“Onions.”

“Onions?”
“Onions.”
“Alright. “

“Well… Ah was just wondrin’ how ya were.”
“Uhu.” *Crunch* “And now you know.”
“Yeah, yer eating onions… Is that all ya do?”
“No.”
“Okay?”

“I sometimes eat garlic as well.”
“Garlic?”
“Garlic.”

“But now… yer… just eating onions.”
“Yep.”

“Well, that’s good.... Ah guess.”
“They contain anti-oxidants, have a high content of protein and reduces the risks of cancer in your teats, uterus, stomach and other stuff.”

“Oh…that’s…interesting.”
“When you're an awesome athlete you gotta care about your health, you know.”
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, yer right here, he he…uhm…”
“What?”
“… Yer eating onions just 'cause ya need more protein?”
“And to avoid Cancer.”
“Yeah, that to. Read that in Daring Do as well?”
“Daring Do.” *Crunch*

“Ah was wondering… What were ya doing last night?”
“Nothing.” *Gulp*
“Nothing.”
“Nothing. I was home. Read a book. Played with Tank. Ate an onion.”
“Okay… Pinkie Pie missed ya, ya know.”

*Crunch*

“So?”
“So? Well… to be honest, ya don’t usually miss a party at the corner.”

“I...I can’t be in partymode all of the time, can I?”
“No, ah guess… but still.”
“Still, what?”
“Well… Yer haven’t been around very much at all lately. Ah mean… it was some weeks since ya were down at the acres, Twilight almost miss yer crashing through her windows, Pinkie says ya haven’t been pranking with her in a while, and Fluttershy…”
“-What about Fluttershy?”

“Yer dropped yer onion.”
“Forget the onion, I have more. What about Fluttershy?”
“Well… she… She misses ya as well.”

“Oh.”

“To be honest, she’s afraid she… and since it was an engagementpar… sorry, how many onions do ya have in that bag?”
“Twentyseven.”
“TWENTY...seven? ”
“Twentyseven. And one hundred and one more back at home. I eat at least fifteen a day.”
“Wow… That’s… that’s mighty impressive.”

“But, wouldn’t that give ya an unruly stomach?”
“Perhaps. So?” *BURP*
“Oh, just wondering…ah guess.”
“Well, you might think it would be a problem, but because it’s mostly water, while it increases the amount of urine, it reduces the amount of faeces. It’s quite useful when you’re in the jungle… or fly a lot. Urine takes less time to dispose of and leaves less tracks.”

“…Daring Do?”
“Daring Do.”

“Wow. Never knew there was so much in them books.”
“Sure is.”

“Rainbow?”
“Yes?”
“Fluttershy is afraid she hurt ya.”
“Ok.”
“She’s afraid ya didn’t take her engagement with Rarity very well”
“Ok.”
“What’s that in yer eyes…”
“ONIONS! I’M EATING ONIONS!”

“So… yer okay with her and Rares being a couple.”
“S-sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, sugarcube, yer did look kinda down when I saw ya last week when they went public with it.”
“Well, you are wrong. I’m fine. Totally fine. Never been better.”
“Yer sure? ‘cause it looked like ya had been cry…”
“ONIONS! I WAS EATING ONIONS!”

“Could've fooled me.”
“Yeah, tough luck.”
“But seriously, RD. Yer been like this since Fluttershy and ya broke…”
“For the last frigging time, AJ! I am NOT CRYING! I am NOT sad because the love of my life decided that we ‘weren’t good for each other’ and wanted to take a ‘break’! I am not sad 'cause I’m twentythree years old, single, and alone for the rest of my life! And I AM NOT UPSET because she started dating RARITY! RARITY! THE PRISSIEST SAPPIEST PONY OF THEM ALL! WHEN SHE COULD HAVE ME! When it SHOULD have been me! But just because I… I wasn't… I could have… She…” *Gulp* ”I am not… I am not…crying.” *CRUNCH* *CRUNCH* *CRUNCH*

“So…them tears…”
“Onions. Just onions. Yesterday it was onions, today it’s onions, tomorrow it’s onions.”
“Ok.”

“Rainbow?”
“…Yeah?”
“Ya know, it’s okay to cry?”
"..."

“It doesn’t make ya less of a pony to let yer feelings out once in a while, ya know? Open up them floodgates, clean the system. Makes ya feel better.”
“….”
“Sorry?”
“Yeah, you are the one to talk”
“Sorry, sugarcube?”
“I said: Yeah, you are the one to talk.”
“What do ya mean by that?”
“When you and Twilight broke up I didn’t see a tear on your face! Not once in spring, not at the summer sun celebration, not in cider season, not once! Just bucking trees and being…being you! And then, that heart's warming, when Twilight and Trixie told everypony they were engaged, and she was blabbering about how much IN LOVE she and Trixie was and how she finally found TRUE happiness, you didn’t cry. And while you really should have thrown a tantrum over how unfair everything was, which 'doesn't make yer less of a poney and make ya feel better', you just stood there."

“Yeah, if you’re not crying, neither am I."

“…Rainbow?”
“Yeah?”
“…Can ah have one of yer onions?”
“…Sure.”

Author's Note:

I regret nothing, and you will know me by the trail of dead onions.

But If you have the time, listen to The Everly Brothers.

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Comments ( 27 )

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bahatumay

bahatumay #1 · Jan 26th, 2016 · · ·

“He’s pining for the fjords.”
That's not Daring Do.

Shrinky Frod

Shrinky Frod #2 · Jan 26th, 2016 · · ·

I was afraid Tank had died for a bit there.

Might want to go through for a spelling check though. There's a lot of spots that need fixing.

the frank

the frank #3 · Jan 26th, 2016 · · ·

6872863 Well, there are fjords in South America , and with that jungle she’s always working her way through there must be at least some pining for fjords.

6872916 I blame my Phone and it’s infernal spelling check. Thanks.

Marshall_Evergreen

Marshall_Evergreen #4 · Jan 26th, 2016 · · ·

6872863 Do I smell a Monty Python reference?

Pony writer

Pony writer #5 · Jan 26th, 2016 · · ·

Wtf did I just read?!
Thumbs up from me

The Yaoi Mistress

The Yaoi Mistress #6 · Jan 27th, 2016 · · ·

aw, this was sadly cute!

Derpy_Dash4321

Derpy_Dash4321 #7 · Jan 28th, 2016 · 2 · ·

Ogres, are like onions, they have layers

pahnazd

pahnazd #8 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

Huh, what don't you find out by just eating onions.
AJ is lucky Dash keeps so many with her all the time

PonyDragon

PonyDragon #9 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

“They contain anti-oxidants, have a high content of protein and reduces the risks of cancer in your teats, uterus, stomach and other stuff.”

Now I need onions.

Nice story, even if 'Dialog-only' isn't my preference.
And that ending... Hilarious!

But you forget the source of the coverart. I'm sure the artist would want you to add it.

the frank

the frank #10 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

6881641 Yeah, you’re right. Done. And glad you enjoyed the story.

Diokno44

Diokno44 #11 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

It looks like its all ogre now

Nicroburst

Nicroburst #12 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

Rhombicosidodecahedron

Rhombicosidodecahedron #13 · Jan 28th, 2016 · · ·

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

Craine

Craine #14 · Jan 29th, 2016 · · ·

You glorious, absolute bastard. This is fantastic.

Craine...

the frank

the frank #15 · Jan 29th, 2016 · · ·

6883109 Thank ya Kindly!

chillbook1

chillbook1 #16 · Feb 5th, 2016 · · ·

Not a fan of this layout. It's actually really discombobulating to me. I couldn't even finish. I'll give it another attempt after breakfast, when my brain is working a little better.

the frank