Baking cakes is part of being Ponyville's Premiere Party Planner. It's a particularly important job when the cake is for frowny ponies, or the sort of folks who don't normally eat cake.
But it's something that Twilight Sparkle doesn't seem to understand. At least, if she understood, she probably wouldn't barge into Sugarcube Corner early in the morning, screaming about Changelings invading Equestria and covert smuggling rings and blah blah blah.
It wouldn't kill Twilight to show some decorum. She clearly needs to get her priorities in order.
EDIT: This is now the most likely candidate for the image source. Thanks to m2pt5 for the tip!
Chapters (1)
Aww. This was both fun to read and cute (notably the end).
Well done!
Yes.
This was pretty good.
I can totally see her throwing that party xD
I loved the dialogue. "Pinkie" and Twilight were both very well written and believable. Well done!
Nice one shot. But 0/10 not enough derpy.
Now this is clever have a mustache
All I have to say is this
>today is my birthday
>mom puts cake on table
>ladybug lands on cake
>logs on to fimfic and checks feed
>sees this story
>is spooked
This was great. Though near the end I started to wonder if that was actually Pinkie. Those little jabs were too good to be innocent. Still was a pleasant twist when Chryssy revealed her form.
Of course the hypocrisy, was wonderful too.
As far as I can tell this appears to be the original source for the cover image.
http://ecmajor.tumblr.com/post/22440484669/
Edit: Great story, I love Pinkie/Twi interactions, and the spoiler near the end makes it even better.
you'd.
God this was fucking awesome.
“I didn’t steal them, I borrowed them. There’s a difference.”
Ah, the Princess of Moral Relativism. So very much in character.
need the triek saying amusing pic
good stuff
6868345 i.ytimg.com/vi/6bvCXNmn55k/maxresdefault.jpg
ARE YOU TRYING TO BE HUMOROUS?!
6869094
thank you
Oh wow, this is great.
This is my kind of humor, from start to end.
Seriously, you completely nailed Pinkie Pie's character and it isn't even Pinkie Pie. If you start writing more comedy bits like this, I'll have to start following you.
That story was awesome, I still can not stop laughing xD
That made me laugh so much. And the ending was just all d'awwww.
Cya
Raziel-chan
6869094 Maybe. I'm not sure, tibia honest.
img07.deviantart.net/9a1e/i/2015/327/0/8/undertale__sans_4k_hd_sprite_by_c4dguy995-d9hrp8y.png
6874838 There's bad puns and then there's funny puns. Mine was at least humerus.
Yours?
38.media.tumblr.com/8acd83b1c14ec194ac155af757ae5a2c/tumblr_nwb2ytRJ8f1rxq45ko1_250.gif
Guess it's the boneafied truth.
6874918 Ow. Ow. Ow. OW.
OK, I'll admit it, I had it coming.
There is only one way to be sure about this!
(Check the birth certificate. What did you think?)
Good story!
Twilight and Pinkie Pie (sort of) are believable in character.
Twilight OS was broken by the Chrysalis virus disguised as Pinkie.Exe... Please re-start or run Celestia.exe
I lost my shit right there.
Lost it again.
Where the heck does it keep going?
I can picture Pinkie Pie being a living dynamo of energy for Changelings.
That was funny, but if it was bashing Twilight any harder there'd be an alicorn-shaped hole in the metaphorical floor.
6884850 I don't have anything against Twilight Sparkle. I rather like her as a character, actually. I'm almost certain Queen Chrysalis would, though.
6885014 Well, sure, obviously Chryssy would be more than happy to take the opportunity to pull this stunt. That's reasonable. But the narration is enabling her, every step of the way, portraying the same exact "overwrought, unthinking, imperceptive, careless, hypocritical, unfriendly Twilight Sparkle" that Chryssy is arguing for. There's no hint of an unreliable narrator, so it sure looks like that's what the fic is trying to argue for — that Twilight really is pretty dense in about six different ways. That's where the fic starts (focusing on her extreme emotional state), that's how it continues (barely letting her get a word in edgewise, having no effective comebacks at all), and that's how it ends (with a reveal and a perfectly contented real actual Pinkie not having any problems with this situation... or having apparently noticed anything at all). All that together makes it difficult not to read this as an author tract for the "Twilight Drools, Chryssy Rules" club.
And quite frankly, it really does seem the outside of enough to go forward with a plan to reform a villain notable for cunning, subversion, and deception without bothering to first thoroughly inform everyone who should be involved and, ideally, getting their wholehearted buy-in… or at least their grudging acceptance, a la Discord's. Is there a better recipe for needless worry and drama… or for genuine nefarious plotting? I submit there is not.
Awwwhaww, that was cute, nice work on this! :D
Hehehe, faved!
6885235 cus twi woud not triy a reforming spell on chrissy if she was told...
6945716 So what you're saying is, the Princess of Friendship cannot be trusted to extend a forgiving hoof, even if her close friends and mentor recommend it?
That's a great sign of one of two things. The first possibility is that something is seriously wrong with the plan. (Tell me, just who, exactly, was suspicious and unwilling to let things go last time? That's right, Twilight Sparkle. You're welcome, Canterlot.) The second is that something is seriously wrong with the princess. Either way, going blindly on with this cockamamie idea is just folly on a grand scale. And when the story signs off on holding the idiot ball like this, it suggests someone was too eager to get to whatever moral they had in mind (nobody is really an enemy?), and wasn't thinking about making it actually make sense. fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/357/3/d/hoof_down_by_comeha-d6z0jqf.png
Oh by the by... allowing Chrys to disguise herself however she likes to Twilight? Arguably a violation of Honesty. Preemptively dismissing Twilight's concerns? Pretty sure we got some Loyalty messed up too. And I don't know about you, but making my friend worry and fret for no good reason doesn't seem much like Laughter to me. Revenge of Canterlot Wedding, here we come!
6946376 no she cant be trusted to not try to fix the problem with a clere head and not look fot a chance to take vengens on the queen for her bors weding yes she is THE PRINCES OF FRINDSHIP BUT SHE IS STILL A PONY.
6946908 So, you're saying that it's Twilight that has the problem. Fair enough, I can respect that, although I'm not convinced that's likely to be in character. (Celestia and Pinkie suffered from Chrysalis too, after all, and Celly in particular almost had all her subjects taken from her along with all the other problems; it's not like Twilight is in some special category of uniquely targeted by Chrysalis. And unless they've managed to work through their guilt at not believing Twilight much faster than Twilight worked through her resentment toward Chrysalis, that would tend to weigh against them dismissing her concerns again.)
Again, though, the fact that her friends are apparently more concerned with rehabilitating a villain under her nose than with even so much as beginning to attempt to broach the subject with Twilight to try to fix her attitude suggests that they see Twilight as either less redeemable than Chrysalis, or a substantially lower priority. That's insulting, and it's also a troubling insight into their own characters or outlook that they have such a low view of the ability of one of their friends to change, but such high views of others'.
If you see your friend has a problem, and you make no effort to help them work through it, you're being a bad friend.
TL/DR: Story characterization is weak, and the presented Aesop is thoroughly muddled.
6947549 i see your pont...you did will to prizent it.(on my XBOX1 cant spell right :( )
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now #74.
My review can be found here.
6947549 IMO Twilight is justified in being suspicious of chrysalis...but she is also overreacting. Kinda like how I feel she was justified in being suspicious of Discord-suddenly, everypony except her is best buds with the trickster with a fondness for mind control that rivals Twilight's own? (
) Yeah. Though she also overreacted then as well.
AND....here we go round the Chryssi-go-round, the Chryssi-go-round, the Chryssi-go-round, so earl'i in the morning!
It's only 3500 words but I could only make it halfway through. Pinkie giving Twilight the run-around lasts waaaaaaay too long. I started skipping paragraphs and more than halfway it was still going! Also I can't stand Pinkie being a total plot-hole about the whole thing, calling Twilight the mean one when it's perfectly reasonable that she's flipping out because the creature that supplanted her brother's will, trapped her in a cave, sic'd an army of changelings (and a small posse of mind controlled brides maids...) on her, and TKO'd her mentor is running around Ponyville and she wasn't informed.
Maybe there's a great punchline at the end, but it's not worth the slog that is the dialogue of an annoying Pinkie turned up to 11.
7054289
The entire punchline is that it's not Pinkie.
7054547
Ah. Here I thought Pinkie was just stalling Twilight so she and Chryssalis could prank her. Like I said, the dialogue was just too much. Equal parts tedious and infuriating. This fic could have been much better if the characters had been more active. Rather than a stagnant back and forth of dialogue, have them "looking" for Chryssalis, and then have the big gag reveal. Something like that.
i kept expecting Twilight to lose her temper and scream, like this classic scene:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzHfc4npDeY
6861414 THIS IS WHAT'S IT'S BASED ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well that was a ride. :D
Good stuff.
That happened
This was a cute little one-shot and I enjoyed it. Plus that cover pic is way too damn cute! It should be illegal.
-BFBL
Chrysalis played an amazing Pinkie Pie.
For a story that was 80% a back and forth scene, I was never bored and was laughing non stop.
Cute ending, too. Nice to see Chrissy and Pinkie as friends.
The vast majority of this fic was Pinkie being a dick to twilight despite twilight having very good reasons to be upset and concerned. The reveal of Pinkie actually having been Chrysalis made the story far more believable, but it still wasn't enjoyable - especially with it almost seeming like the story was trying to imply that Twilight was in the wrong.
Ignoring the subject matter, this story was very well-written. There were few, if any, grammar and spelling mistakes; the dialogue was believable; and the pacing and structure make sense and work well for the kind of story you wrote.
This story clearly has a lot going for it for anyone who likes this kind of humor, but I'm not one of those people, so this story mostly just frustrated me.
Yeah, I kept wondering when Queen of the Bugponies was going to show...
This is hilarious, good show! 👏 👏 👏 I hope you found it as fun to write as I did to read.