- Member Since 16th Jun, 2015
- offline last seen March 1st
Zyrah
Could possibly, maybe be active again. Don't place bets.
Zyrah
Joined 16th Jun, 2015 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Zyrah · 2.7k words · 49 9 · 1.4k views
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Didn't know ponies celebrated Thanksgiving.
Huh, kind of got a chuckle out of me. Not bad.
They don't
img06.deviantart.net/8aab/i/2015/329/4/3/happy_thanksgiving_2015__by_shutterflyeqd-d9i1bxc.png
6927147 Thanks :)
Sounded like Pinkie wanted Dash to stay.
6927290 Maybe...maybe not...maybe
6927291
If she did she would probably freak out at the possibility of a two fro one OR that she has to figure out the original.
6927301
Seems in a bit of a hurry, but also fits itself in that way at the same time, so to speak. It is RD moving at her own pace, after all.
Also leaves me wanting continuation.
6927309
Be careful what you wish for...
I was actually slightly sad that Dash seemed interested in Pinkie for a second and did not stick around to seduce her. She may have even been interested...maybe.
6927324 Might have to do some kind of something with that idea
>>
Gets my vote!
6927369 Thanks! Every single like/dislike/comment makes me happy
RDWTCIRD
6927391 wut
6927395
It's an old 4chan meme, modified to more relevant to the fic.
6927421 see...now it is all coming to me
6927161 Ah they'll get over it. Ponies eat meat.
6927309 Well, that continuation you wanted is here
6931685 You have managed to give a feel similar to the kind of stuff Bendy does, yet without being so far over the top you can't see it anymore kind of story. Rapid pace, crazy bouncing around, and a little short on details...but cohesive enough with itself to not leave a reader wondering what was going on. That isn't all too easy to pull off. Nicely done. I shall be looking forward to the sequel.
6931859 Glad you like it..but who's Bendy?
6931886 Another author on FiMfiction. He focuses on trollfics, yet despite how outlandish and excessive they are, they're a fun guilty pleasure. It's interesting to see another story with that kind of feel without it being outlandish at the same time. It's skirting the edge, but it does still feel a bit plausible for RD to behave as she does. That is an important distinction to have, and gives this story a little something extra. It wouldn't hurt if you took time to give more detail and world building of course, but even with the little bit present, it does make sense along the way.
6931912 Yeah, detail isn't my strong suit but I try. Well, I'm glad you like it and as always I will try to get better with the detailing. I like to call the genre of this kind of thing comical clop, although I'm not sure what it is supposed to do for the reader but I have fun writing it and due to 700+ views in a day and 1/2 I'm going to assume that others found it at least mildly enjoyable. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and was able to achieve for you what Bendy doesn't
6931923 Took me a year of practice before I really started to feel half-decent. That, and working with a couple editors willing to eviscerate what I wrote and give well-reasoned explanations and suggestions on what could be improved. Seriously, there are a ton of concepts I didn't actually register about things like emotional expression until I got feedback. The one that stands out the most in my mind is on the idea of Celestia or Luna shedding tears. Take a moment to consider how much life they must have seen, and how stalwart they probably are. The kind of stuff that might make them cry has to be disproportionately powerful, as they are more likely to remain unphased through lesser sadness. Not even death of a loved one is likely enough to break the facade. And as for details...personally, it's an image or movie playing in my head, in three dimensions so I can picture it like a floating camera moving around a scene, but it wasn't always that way. Keep in mind, working with details is also as much a game of when not to use much as it is to pour them on. A soft breeze blowing past that sends a few rogue strands of a mane wandering about just before bursting out in laughter at something insanely funny, the quiet crunching sound of walking on a dirt road after a funeral of one that meant the world to you, the tickle of breath between two mouths about to kiss for the first time after a long dance...
Just keep going. Try new directions. Mine the comments of internet trolls attempting to bring you down for lessons because they had to react to something for most of those, if they say more than 'it sucked' basics. And write what you personally would want to read, not what you hope others will look at. Anyone who shares compatible views will enjoy it more, while those that wouldn't will go elsewhere. Nothing works for everyone. Instead, start from yourself and let the like-minded come as they will.
6931994 The fact that you put that much time into explaining that to me means a lot. Believe me I know the imagery is a lot, it is to me as well. When I'm reading a book it's played out like a movie to me as well. Writing is slightly different though, and sometimes I've caught myself being lazy in that area, which really needs to stop. And about people not liking the story or a story, they have no idea that a constructive comment is a lot more meaningful than a dislike or a hate speech. Like you said, you'll never please everybody. Thanks for the constructive comment and I will be sure to work on detail a lot more. It shouldn't be hard(especially since I used to have a bad problem with tense).
6932321 All I did was offer the same kind of thing I hope to receive, and wished I'd heard for a year. I'm still learning too.
Like I said though, find an editor to work with. Someone willing to rip your stuff apart, yet still explains what they're seeing. It's a massive boon to the learning process. And always give them their credit. I haven't seen it personally, but one guy helping me with a story was initially cautious about saying much because he'd helped prideful idiots that got nasty for no reason over corrections he was asked to point out. Really helped when I tore into the last chapter of his own story in honest assessments and corrections, as I think he's finally realized he can go nuts and I'll welcome the help (maybe with chagrin at times, but it happens).
Sometimes, letting someone have that kind of power over something we put our heart into creating can be unsettling, but just remember. It's your story. Just as much as you're asking an editor for help, you also don't have to listen. Nothing changes unless you agree, and I've taken alternate suggestions in a black/white set of choices, turned it on it's side, and made a third option using both sides that plays even better than either did alone. You can even see the difference jump in a story I did about a human turned diamond dog, as I got editing help for the second and third chapters after the first hit the top of the Feature Box (talk about surprise). It was also a lot of my own skill shift in that one story. Take a look if you're curious.
And remember to try to make a helpful comment now and then on stories you see something worthwhile inside. It can make a difference, and help someone further back in the learning process than you yourself might be. Us creative types can gain a lot by pulling each other up. Far more than by always standing alone. We all have our own unique ideas. Not everything we come up with will work, but every well-written story will find some level of audience. Good luck as you go further.
Oh well poor Pinkie is stuck alone I guess.
6934057 Soz
There's the title for your sequel.
6937488
while that would be hilarious, i had the title and the sequel before i even came up with this story. I have a story i was already working on that would fit right in with this one...brace yourself!
ok your authors note is just......TMI dude just.......never again
7002330 There is a story everywhere in life. Only some are brave enough to tell it
Reading this in class was a mistake
Luckily no one noticed though
Well done though. I think. Seemed like the diction was a bit repetitive and I skimmed over a few bits simply due to personal taste, but uh, the end was certainly good.
Also that opening line made me almost laugh out loud
I'll uh, save the next chapter for when I get home.
7008033 Well, I'm glad you liked this as well! And just as it isn't safe for work, it is also not safe for school...or any other public place
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/38587264.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/44/98/d4/4498d4d54d0552c2c8fc3edb36899010.jpg
Natural drugs?
7045687 hormones
sites.google.com/site/n8thegr83008/_/rsrc/1458437050415/home/Screenshot%202016-03-19%20at%209.23.33%20PM.png
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw8548_medium.jpg
7045687 Heat/estrus
7104977 1. You just pissed or
2. You forgot shave...
Or both?
7105385 whoa now! Let's keep the kinky in the story, huh?
...Is it sad that I ship RD x RD more than most lesbian RD pairings?