Pinkie Pie What Does She Do

One day, Celestia summons the Mane 6 to talk about their hyperactive friend, Pinkie Pie.
She tells them of her past, her real parents and what she can do.

Every day, she tells them of something new Pinkie can do. But the Mane 6 doubt this. She's just Pinkie, right? And then one day, The Diamond Dogs attack Rarity

Chapters (4)

Prologue · 29th Dec 2015 · 259 words
259
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Pinkies Past · 29th Dec 2015 · 309 words
309
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Speed · 29th Dec 2015 · 461 words
461
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Strength · 2nd Jan 2016 · 373 words
373
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Chrome Masquerade

Chrome Masquerade #1 · Feb 21st, 2016 · · · Strength ·

(reads description) Well, besides the usual Earth Pony powers... well, i'll quote from the story Blue Angel, by V=Pony on why Pinkie might be the most dangerous of the Mane 6. get yourself a drink because this might take a while.

"You were saying, Ray?" Jill tilted her head curiously, waving her hoof for her brother to continue. The alcohol was obviously going to her head, but she was still in control for the most part.
"Right, I was saying that we can actually measure their danger potential because they're bounded by rules. Now, what do you suppose the Element of Laughter is all about?"
"I dunno, joyful stuff?" Jill eyed the quickly-emptying mug of ale in front of her.
"Indeed, and joy can come about in the strangest and most random of ways. Therefore, one of the components of the Element of Laughter is randomness." He leaned further across the table with a serious expression. "And it's that very randomness that makes her dangerous."
"Uh....I don't get it."
"She's unpredictable," Ray said with finality. "And therefore it's very difficult to gauge her potential; it could be massive or it could be tiny. We just don't know, but I'm leaning towards massive, and I'll tell you why: One of the reasons she's unpredictable is because of her propensity to seemingly ignore the laws that govern the rest of us at will." At this revelation, ale spewed from Jill's nose back into her mug, and she coughed loudly as she tried to clear her head of the foam.
"Ach-ach-say what?!" She barely managed to contain her question, drawing a quick glance over from the others.
"She's good," Ray waved a hoof reassuringly before turning back to his sister. "Keep it down, Jill. But yes, it seems the laws and rules that bound us occasionally don't apply to Pinkie Pie. That and she has certain...unique traits that seem to stem from this ability to 'break the rules'."
"Like what?"
"Well, do you know of her Pinkie Sense? It's sort of an early warning system that allows her to detect danger near her or her friends, making it very difficult to get the drop on her, so a surprise attack wouldn't work because we hypothesize that she'd sniff it out before it even occurred."
"So just attack her head-on then," Jill declared with a small growl. "Keep her in sight and just beat her with brute force. I mean, she's not exactly Celestia herself. I'll bet one good fire-spell right on that curly mane of hers would send her packin', heh-heh."
"True...but you have to hit her with it first," Ray crossed his hooves and leaned back.
"Huh, whatcha mean? She can't dodge a spell or block one; she's just an Earth Pony, not a Pegasus or Unicorn."
"Very true. However, even though she's not a Unicorn or a Pegasus, she can still pull off acts of magic or speed that those two races couldn't ever dream of achieving. Multiple times, she's been observed literally popping out from behind objects smaller than herself, ingesting things larger than her stomach would be (and all in one go, mind you), as well as instances of pursuing friends and foes with a speed that belies her appearance," he took a swig of his drink and wiped his lips. "Thing is, nopony can truly explain it, nor do they actually see much of this happen."
"Huh, then how can they witness it?" Jill cocked her head in confusion; all this thinking combined with the ale was starting to give her a headache.
"I mean, they see the results of it, but as far as actually seeing how or where she pops out of is another story altogether. To the casual observer, it would seem like she reappears and disappears at will, something even a Unicorn can't do without at least a flash of magic to betray their exit or entry back into this plane of existence," he poked at his soup spoon for a moment, awaiting Jill's reaction.
"That's crazy," she shook her head in disbelief. "There's gotta be an explanation as to how she does these things, Ray. I mean, is she of this world?" Her question caused Ray to snicker for a moment before Jill kicked him rather painfully under the table.
"Ow-sorry, sis," he winced and calmed down. "Yes, she's 'of this world,' certainly more so than Volare over there," he nodded at the blue Pegasus, who was in the middle of speaking about meeting Scootaloo for the first time. "As for your question of if there's an explanation for her behavior and potential...well, beyond the usual 'it's just Pinkie being Pinkie' that you might get from the locals, there is one plausible theory that was contained within the manual the Boss gave us; mainly because it makes the most sense, I suppose."
"Well, don't keep me in suspense here, Ray," Jill hit the table with her mug. "Get on with it!"
"Thing is...for it to make sense, you have to kinda toss out alot of what you think is real and not real, Jill," Ray warned with a solemn expression; he wasn't joking on this.
"Try me."
"Ok, you asked for it," Ray wiped his brow and gathered his thoughts. "Remember how I mentioned that one of the two things you need to worry about her is the concept of hammer space?"
"Yeah, I think so," Jill nodded. "But you never really explained what that was, exactly."
"Basically, it refers to being able to pull an object, such a large hammer-hence the name, out of thin air or out from behind or within an object smaller than the object being produced."
"...What?"
Ray sighed and closed his eye for a moment. "Ok, say I take this mug," he held up the object in question. "And somehow hid it behind or under this spoon," he held the spoon between the mug and Jill. "Or I produced it from behind the spoon."
"Impossible," Jill declared. "That's not even slightly possible."
"Aha, because you're thinking in terms of what you believe to be real and not real. Now throw that concept out. How would you explain a large object being pulled from behind a smaller object like that?"
"I dunno...a rip in space or something?"
"..." Ray simply smiled.
"Wait, are you serious?" Jill gawked, but her brother merely nodded. "Dammit, I should have read that manual!"
"Indeed, you should have," Ray chided his sibling for a moment before continuing. "Hammerspace is just that: a rip in space that allows many objects to be stored within it like some sort of grab-bag, waiting to be pulled out within a moment's notice. Or in Pinkie's case, emerge out of things like a pile of sponges or apples, without anypony first seeing her enter said places."
"But that's...so damn random," Jill blinked.
"Now you're catching on," Ray nodded. "This then leads us into the only solid explanation anypony has come up with on how Pinkie utilizes this hammerspace. Brace yourself for this one, 'cuz it's a doozy."
"I...jeez, I hope I can take this," Jill gulped.
"Hope so too," the male replied grimly. "Alright...are you familiar with the concept of a pocket universe?"
"....Nope, nuh-uh, buck that noise!" Volare and Co. looked up again as the female Unicorn shouted and literally threw her soup spoon at her companion, the metal instrument thunking off his forehead and clattering to the floor before the male Unicorn magically grabbed her and shut her mouth as he realized they were being stared at again.
"Heh-heh, nothing to see here, folks," he waved his hoof dismissively, doing his best to grin his way out of this. Never should have let Jill drink anything here period...
"Weird indeed, Lyra," Octavia sipped her tea and nudged the green Unicorn in reference to her statement earlier.
"Meh, I kinda like'em," Lyra shrugged her off before turning to Volare. "Ok, so back to what you were saying about Scootaloo being kinda like your little sister," she smiled encouragingly as her friend returned to his tale.
"Jeez Jill, I said to brace yourself." Ray hissed and released his sister.
"Well excuse me," Jill snapped, downing the rest of her ale in a huff. "Not everyday you get your mind blown, ya know?"
"Oh, that's just the tip of the iceberg," her brother said sagely and chanced a peek through the window blinds adjacent to him; nope, no Royal Guards thundering up the street to investigate...good. "Now then, are you ready to continue?"
"Yeah, I guess," his sister sighed and sat the mug back down, suddenly not having much of an appetite for ale anymore; she was craving something a lot stronger to get her through this particular brand of madness. To hell with these Elements-the whole lot of them can rot in Tartarus, she growled to herself.
"Ok, just try to stay calm and relax, Jill. Now then, as I said, are you familiar with that particular concept?"
"Yeah, I've read about it; something about a larger space contained within a much smaller space...hrm, that kinda makes it it's own brand of hammer space, huh?" Jill conceded, wincing at the headache she felt coming on again. Too much damn space! "But...you're not saying that's the secret of Pinkie Pie, are you? A pocket universe? Is that even possible? And how the hay would that work anyways?!"
"First question: yes, it might be the secret, and it might be mostly conjecture, but this is best theory we have and I don't think anypony else has had the cojones to ask her directly about it."
"And why's that?"
"Um...I'll be getting to that," Ray grimaced for a moment. "Second question: yes, the theory revolves around the concept of a pocket universe being the answer behind hammer space; and as said, she utilizes it quite frequently. Third question: is it even possible? Well, the evidence speaks for itself the more you think about it, so I'd say yes, it's a very plausible explanation. Fourth question: how does it work? Well, my dear sister, this is where the danger of Pinkie Pie lies."
"Her random and unpredictable behavior?" Jill queried with that same growing sense of morbid interest she'd felt about the other Element Holders...but for some reason, this interest also carried a sense of dread the others didn't...she wanted to know, and yet was afraid to hear the answer. Get a grip, Jill! This is frickin' Pinkie Pie we're talking about here, not some crazy, other-worldly demon, right? ...right?
"Precisely," Ray nodded. "In fact, we believe it to be the source and explanation for her unpredictability. For you see, we believe that she actually carries a pocket universe either within herself or on her person at all times, ready to use at any time she desires. For example: she might want to carry a literal giant hammer, half a house, a wagon, etc, all within this space."
"How can she carry something like that with her?" Jill's jaw dropped. "I mean, an entire universe able to hold things many times its own size...she can't possibly lift all that by herself! And that still doesn't explain why we can't see the damn thing!"
"Who's to say the pocket universe is massive and visible?" Ray ventured knowingly. "What if it were so small as to be barely noticeable?"
"Ok, let's say it is really frickin' small," Jill suspended her remaining disbelief for a moment. "The density of something like that would be ridiculous. She still shouldn't be able to carry it."
"Indeed, however, the majority of the universe is mostly empty space, so the density may not be as great as you think. Plus, because this thing doesn't seem to comply with known physics, because it's small it may only weigh small, instead of large, so to speak," Ray did his best to explain. "The point is, this pocket universe she carries with her is a powerful weapon of surprise."
"And random behavior...Ray, you know this is insane, right?" Jill hid her face behind her hooves, her headache pounding her cranium by now.
"What's that saying we heard Lyra and Volare use a while back: gotta think like a fox to catch a fox?" Ray grinned. "Gotta think like Pinkie to beat her....only problem is, that carries the possibility of going completely bonkers in order to do so..."
"Ok, enough of the damn specifics," Jill snapped, hitting the table with her forehead to stop the ache; needless to say, it didn't work very well. "Owww...just explain why that pocket thingy makes her so damn dangerous and let's leave this madness behind, alright?"
"Heh, sounds fair," Ray patted her hoof comfortingly. "I told you it wasn't for the faint of heart or mind, Jill. Anyways, the reason why it makes her so dangerous is because that pocket universe allows her flexibility beyond what most normal ponies like you and I would expect. In short: the ultimate surprise attack. We think that pocket universe might also be a wormhole of sorts, allowing her to transcend space and time in order to"-
"Ray I swear to Nightmare Moon," Jill snarled and looked up at him. "You're gonna make my brain explode. Why is she so damn dangerous already!?"
"Fine, I'll give you the dumbed-down version. Basically, we believe that rip in the laws of physics that the pocket universe creates also allows her cover great distances with ease as well as allowing her to literally pop out of thin air anywhere she wants."
"Huh, that would be pretty useful for a surprise attack," Jill nodded.
"Yeah, but that's not the worst part," Ray said grimly. "She has the ability to pop out of anywhere or anything."
"So? How's that bad in itself?"
"Ok, suppose she decides she doesn't like you and she gets it in her head to use this ability. Say she doesn't just want to surprise you by popping out behind you and whacking you with a hammer; no that's not good enough in this instance." Ray's face turned slightly ashen as he spoke. "So she decides to exit space right through your chest." Jill's eyes snapped wide at this implication, and she couldn't help but look down and make sure Pinkie wasn't about to burst, grinning and bloody, out through her ribcage.
"Jeez..."
"Or out of your skull," Ray suggested. "Or out of your back. Or even out of your"-
"OK, OK!" It was now Jill's turn to slam her brother's mouth shut with her magic, her mind on the verge of snapping. "Isn't it enough that now I'll never be able to walk past that bakery again without wondering if I'll suddenly fly to pieces...but now you gotta spell it out?!"