Midnight Dream is your average bat pony. She's young, athletic, and agile. She has fangs, tufted ears, and leathery wings. She lives in Hollow Shades. But unlike most bat ponies, she's not in the Night Guard; instead opting to follow her special talent and fulfill her dream.
As it turns out, gardening doesn't pay nearly as well as the military does. With bills constantly piling up and demand for gardeners in a town full of soldiers at an all time low, she's desperate for whatever bits she can get her hooves on. And it just so happens there's a new “underground” fighting tournament in town that's paying rather handsomely.
Content Advisory: Don't let the tags or synopsis fool you: this story's a clopfic through and through—it just happens to use some of the more bizarre, if nonsexual, fetishes out there. Fetishes which include: flattening, body compression, vampirism, hypnosis, and oddly done third person narration.
Oh hell yes.
Like the movie "Fight Club" ?
6739739
As the Author Notes state, it has nothing to do with either the movie or book. The plot's totally different. I just used it as the title.
6739760
Well, yeah, I read that... after I posted the comment. But I thought that you might be referring to something about that one chick that the everyman's alter ego was kinda dating. Or maybe even that one dude that had boobs... I don't know, I don't remember much of the movie
This is a ridiculous fetish.
>Body compression
This makes my dick curious.
6741880
The Mature tag is for "anything that should require an aged or mature perspective to read; things like extreme violence, explicit descriptions of physical intimacy, or content intended for older audiences." Despite being intended to arouse, the story will not contain any of those elements and so has a Teen rating instead.
i love it. but you seriusly need to write a sequel or continue with the story. that ending was terrible.
Okay, I think I have my thoughts together enough to write a good comment on this.
So, I like this story. I think it's pretty hilarious, and the idea of a Fighting League where all the fights end in a Wile E. Coyote style mishap is appealing to me (though not in the same way it is to you, I think). I think Midnight Dream was the perfect character for this, acting very much like she's the only sane mare in a world full of crazy when she very much isn't, and I liked watching her struggles with her panic over her finances, the fights themselves, etc. I thought the story took a weird turn towards the end, with Twilight basically putting Midnight up as Public enemy number one, but it's kind of a surrealist comedy, so I don't mind that too much.
I will say that I agree with 6775743 here, that I feel as if you ended it too soon. There's no real payoff to Midnight's struggles, by which I mean that there isn't a definitive "yes, this is the end of Midnight's story in relation to the UFL" moment, whether that's good or bad. Yes, she does end up flattened, and is being carted off by Night Glider to face Twilight, but that still leaves a lot of stuff open. In the logic of the story you've constructed, being flattened means practically nothing in the long term of it so long as you can reach a doctor, and Midnight doesn't escape, so she still has to face Twilight, and there's no telling what could happen when she finally meets her. We get kind of a confrontation with Night Glider and her "Knight Templar-ness" (which is both hilarious and makes perfect sense), but we're left with the question of "Well, is that how Twilight feels about Midnight, or is this just Night Glider projecting?" You kind of try to address these threads by proxy, with the Castle of the Two Sisters' various traps flattening Midnight and her facing off against Night Glider, but it doesn't quite work because we know that's not the end. All that said, it's not too big of a problem, and it mostly feels just like a little niggling annoyance in the back of your mind while reading it, so don't stress about it too much.
Finally, I wanted to talk about the fetish nature of the story. I do not have the flattening fetish, so I don't really get anything from it, though it doesn't squick me out, and if you and other people like it, go for it (lord knows I like some pretty weird things too). That said, at least part of the reason I read this story was to try to understand why people like it. I can look at other fetishes, even ones that squick me out and go "Okay, yeah, I may not like it, but I can see why other people would." With flattening, I just don't see why people would want to clop to it. And after reading this story and getting into it, and trying to see what the fuss was about... I still don't get it. Like I said, if it's what you're into, go for it, I won't (can't, really) judge. But I still don't really know where the appeal comes from, though I'd like to, if only to not be so confused around this fetish.
Hope that was adequate, and looking forward to your next update, whenever that may be.
good book
my mind smart enough to ignore how its a fetish tho
Yeah, this story really needs a sequel.
Or at least a side story where Twilight manages to free Rainbow Dash from her bottle and the enchantment. Considering she's an alicorn, and has extensive knowledge of magic, I'm sure she could manage it.
This is a weird chapter for me.
On one hand, I dislike it for two things: One, the fact that RD was the one who lost (she's my favorite member of the mane 6 and my second favorite pony overall). Two, that RD would have won had she either kept the bottle uncorked until Midnight got partially into it, not revealed what it does until she was sure Midnight would not be able to do anything, or if she had just not used the bottle at all.
However, on the other hand I can't help but keep rereading this chapter.
Probably because:
a. It WOULD mostly be in character for RD to do what she did. The only problem is that I doubt she'd have brought the bottle along in the first place, but I think that's more of a nitpick than anything else.
b. Hypnotizing ponies to willingly compress themselves is something that I've only ever come across twice. Once was in this chapter, the second was in a comic on deviantART/derpibooru. That one involved AJ, who is the OTHER athletic member of the mane 6... I realize that's just a coincidence, but it's a pretty big one. It's also a kind of creative idea, and I actually wish it was used more often.
That second one is probably why I keep coming back to this chapter, despite my problems with it.
Also, now that I think about, what this story REALLY needs is a sequel where the events are as follows:
There's a prologue where Twilight manages to get RD back to normal. RD vows revenge against Midnight, and Twilight whispers what she's going to do to punish Midnight, and RD eagerly agrees to it.
Then the main story opens up with Night Glider arriving with the flattened Midnight. Twilight thanks Night Glider and sends her off to a group of unicorns to get restored. Twilight herself then restores Midnight to normal. A conversation occurs about what Twilight's going to do to Midnight, with Twilight promising that she won't do anything.
Then RD enters the room and challenges Midnight for a rematch, this time without any enchanted bottles. Just a straight up brawl. Midnight initially refuses, but Twilight more or less states that if she doesn't accept the challenge she'll be not only be forcibly recompressed into a fresh bottle, but this time she'll be kept in Twilight's castle for the rest of her life (I realize this might be taking things a bit too far, but considering the things that Midnight did and who she ended up fighting in this story, I feel that Twilight WOULD take extreme measures).
RD then wins the rematch.
I don't really know what would happen after that.
6904475
While I am planning a sequel, it doesn't have anything to do with Twilight or Dash (it'll be about Midnight joining the Night Guard and going through their newly revised "training" program). I'll probably reference that Dash and Spitfire and all them have recovered, but it's doubtful they'll play a big role in the story.
You're more than welcome to write your own sequel to it, though.
Hold up, Midnight won against RD? What are you on?