A technological revolution has swept Equestria, leaving Twilight Sparkle yearning for knowledge. Magic aided machines are being manufactured by the thousands, bringing Equestria a fantastic new means of communication. The lovable bookworm leaves the library she has come to adore, and takes up residence in an apartment near a new university that she is attending. Happily, she installs new machines in each of her friends houses so they may retain contact. Several months go by, and the visits from her friends grow more and more distant. She begins to notice incongruencies in between real life and cyberspace, raising further questions in her mind. Just who is she talking to on the other side of that screen?
An adaptation of the short story 'Psychosis' by Gar/Matt Dymerski.
Picture is "Ponyville Hospital" by Konsumo, on Divantart.
Eye Of The Insane - Slayer
Happy National Day Of Slayer! FUCKIN' SLAYER!
This is creepy. Legitimately.
708733 Agreed, Technophobes would love this
Hmm, I don't know. I think I'll pass on this one. Have a thumbs up for the Hell of it
I don't normally go for Dark stories, but this one sounds really interesting, albeit a little spooky.
I think I'll read it later when it's light out
This reminds me intensely of I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream.
And it got me thinking: Who's really being controlled here? Is it the ponies who have accepted the technology and become "tools", or is it the ones who have become crazy, being corrupted from this sort of amorphous "virus" that makes them suddenly lapse into paranoia? Or is it both, being manipulated so that their differences and conflict cause a sort of chaotic harmony for the GOD to play off of?
WHY
WHY HAVE YOU MADE ME GET ALL PHILOSOPHICAL AND DEEP?
Hot damn that is a good read, almost had me shaking in my computer chair just reading it.
Holy cow that was intense. Then that bit at the end I was like
. Although the ending made it even creepier, if it wasn't added, it would have made for a very satisfying if very sad ending, in my opinion any way. Great job, keep up the good writing. 
708733 That's what I was going for
709103 Creepy stories are best read in the dark anyways arch.413chan.net/animated_applejack_d'aw_ooOOooOo-(n1312635598572).gif
709473 Because I love stories that make me think. Thinking is scary
709951 Yeah, at first the part in the end wasn't there but then I decided I wanted people to know that what Twilight was afraid of was actually real, and she was only saved because she had become insane.
So... awesome!
Though, I may be biased...
712024 You're always biased!
712038 Sshhh... Nopony else needs to know that...
So... Let me get this straight. Twilight was on her studies of programming so much, she never went outside. When she finally decided to, she was afraid because she didn't see anypony, afraid that something was out there, so she never went outside and tried to call her friends, weird call, drunk rainbow dash, she goes back to her apartment, blah blah blah spikes email, smashes everything, goes insane, pokes her eyes out.
So in the end, everypony actually did die and there was one "robot" controlling everything to Twilight?
712402 Basically, yes. Theres some details that probably got overlooked, but yeah. She stays down in her apartment without hearing from anypony, which she definitely thinks is strange. She begins to notice how vague her friends are being while addressing her. Then, she starts to notice that nopony she ever talks to says anything that she hasn't already given out. What's going on, is all the ponies have been bent to the will of the machines and Twilight was only saved because she was too smart for her own good. Either way, Equestria is doomed. That's just the short explanation...
... i need to meet up with some friends of mine tomorrow...
That was a pretty awesome story.
However, I can't give you any credit, since it's not so much "inspired" by Dymerski's story, but it's a literal word-for-word copy with a few names replaced.
Disappointing, I suppose. I can't condone plagiarism.
714113 Haha yeah, you better.
715863 And I honestly am not trying to copy his work and take it for my own. I'm sorry you see it that way, but I changed a lot around and worked on it. Would it be better to say it is a variation of his story? I don't want to piss anyone off here, I just tried to refresh the original story because I liked it a lot.
716540
I think the word is "adaptation." Or something.
I don't know that anyone is going to be mad (probably not even Mr. Dymerski), but it seems like the kinda thing you'd want to let people know. Because it is a really good story, that much is true.
And the prologue/epilogue actually do add an interesting slant, for what it's worth.
716830 Alright, I'll put that in there. I just really liked the idea of the story, and if anything I just want to spread it around for more people to read
I liked this. Dark, creepy story indeed.
Poor Twilight Sparkle.
I've had this in my reading list for weeks, and having now read it, I'm very impressed. The ending in particular, I did not see it coming where it got flipped around and Twilight was actually right. Well done!
Short and creepy, I liked it. Good job with that.