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More Stories6

  • E Griffin Over the Line

    A Lunaverse fic, where Raindrops must contend with the antics of Rainbow Dash and Gilda.
    13,252 words · 3,901 views  ·  282  ·  6
  • E A Final Crisis of Conscience

    Lunaverse: after the events of CO2E, Twilight is finally ready to turn her self in to the authorities, but can she really bring herself to take that final step?
    1,381 words · 1,380 views  ·  130  ·  3
  • E Sergeant-at-Hooves

    Lunaverse: Cheerilee goes overboard when trying to prepare for the fight against Corona.
    3,789 words · 885 views  ·  60  ·  2
  • T Elements of Insanity

    Lunaverse; Twilight plans to prove herself superior to Trixie by forming her own Elements of Harmony
    48,156 words · 3,279 views  ·  128  ·  9
  • E Of Wands and Wizards

    Trixie becomes lost in a world of wizards and witches. Also involving an odd fellow with blue box and his wall-eyed companion.
    8,200 words · 1,138 views  ·  100  ·  8
  • E Broken Tiara

    Lunaverse: Diamond Tiara makes a stunning confession, but is her heart's desire smitten by another?
    1,861 words · 1,243 views  ·  39  ·  3

Blog Posts18

  • 18w, 2d
    Blast From the Past

    So, over on the Lunaverse forms, a few of us were discussing alternate realties and such, during which one of the old conceits that we all use to joke about came up again.  That being the notion that the entire Lunaverse is written as though it were the actual show on some parallel earth, with the show we known in our world being the fanfiction over there.

    Anyway this reminded me of the first ever "contribution" I ever made to the Lunaverse, long before there really was a Lunaverse as we now know it.  This was regretfully though a post made on the comments thread for Boat Busted over on EQD, and somewhere along the line (presumably during a site upgrade) they seem to have purged all the older comments.  Fortunately I once reposted it to the Lunaverse forums, though unfortunately I had no idea where.  Which is a problem as the Lunaverse has one of the largest and most active forums on all of FiM fic.  With a little digging and a lot of luck, however, I finally found it and can now repost it in a more easily accessible place for posterity.

    As a preface, in this review I pretended to be a brony living on an alternate earth where Boast Busted is an episode of the show, while Boast Busters is a fanfic.  Also, please keep in mind that this was all written before LNLD, meaning it's no longer an accurate reflection of how the Lunaverse actually turned out.

    Ooh, I remember reading this back when only the first chapter was up. It was loads of fun, but I forgot to ever check back on it, so I was quite pleased to see this pop up here giving me the opportunity to finish it.

    It's kind of neat how the author manages to take background ponies like Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and even the one-shot 'villain' Twilight Sparkle then recasts them as the mane characters. It is kind of weird to only get minor references to our actual mane-6, though seeing Trixie cast in such an obnoxious role is even weirder. Sure she's always had issues with pride and ego, but this author dials them up to 11, though you can easily see how he still had to stretch to make her a convincing antagonist by resorting to using Snips and Snails to do the legwork with the ursa.

    Now I hear he's going to go back and rewrite the first episode, awesome. I've seen plenty of takes on an evil Luna; Black Umbra, Eclipse, Midnight Shadow; so I can't wait to see what he does with this Nightmare Moon. Also it will be interesting to see how such an unhinged bookish snob like Twilight could ever make friends, until then I'm not sure I'm entirely buying the author's too modest to show off her magic interpretation. I wonder how much of that has to do with that baby dragon the author gave her? I know a lot of readers will probably try to call him out on being a poorly conceived OC self insert, but I personal found him amusing enough.

    Then there are the author's choices for the elements of laughter and kindness. Pinkie Pie was an all too obvious choice, what with how her wacky background antics in the actual show are always a riot, probably why despite her being the mascot of our fandom he left her out of this story since it could have easily overshadowed any other plot. At least I hope that's why as I'd hate to think it had anything to do with the whole iTunes censorship fiasco. Fluttershy though will prove something of a wild card, as she's such an underused background pony who hardly anyone ever seems to write about.

    Anyway, I left this post wholly unedited from it's original form.  Though, looking back I really should have referred to something like Zune instead of iTunes, just to sell the idea of the world itself also being weirdly reversed.

    8 comments · 115 views
  • 41w, 1d
    Review-like Thingy: "Simple Ways" -- (SPOILERS, duh...)

    I don't normally do the whole episode reviews thing.  Well not explicitly at least.  I don't write blogs of my own, but some of my replies to other blogs or vlogs can be nearly as detailed.  One such blogger I routinely engage in such comments with is my good friend InsertAuthorHere, arguably it's how we became friends in the first place. (…oh, and while someone of his famed renown hardly needs my meager endorsements, I'll implore anyone reading this blog that doesn't already follow his work to GO AND FOLOW HIS WORK!  Seriously, he was one of the authors that helped inspire me to make my own feeble attempts at pony fanfiction)

    Anyway, IAH was apparently of the opinion that because of my status as an unabashed worshiper of the one and only BEST PONY that is the fair lady Rarity, that I'd be driven to the war path by this episode (I guess for steeling my "waifu" or something like that, as if I'd ever be worthy of her affections).  While I certainly had my reservations about it, after-all clichéd romance was supposedly one of those girly tropes that this show explicitly didn't cater too.  Still, I was committed to keeping an open mind, but now that I've actually seen it with my own eyes, what's the verdict?  Is the episode a worthy tribute to the goddess, or is it time for me to bust out a doomsday device or two and teach the world a lesson for daring to besmirch her flawless grace… let's find out.

    Oh, and just as a final reminder, there will be SPOILERS!!!

    So after a functional, but mostly expository open, the episode proper hooks me right away with Rarity's newest dress, a prefect reflection of the styles I associate with her character and something her last focus episode failed to deliver on.  Rarity's tastes aren't fashionable just because they are edgy or unconventional, but because they are a true artistic expressions of the soul that reflect her personal inspirational muse -- most often expressed by gratuitous use gemstones.  

    Now then though, we come to the episode's controversial new character, Trenderhoof.  When Rarity first drops his name my reaction was similar to the rest of her friends; it just seems so out of left field, not to mention why should a celebration of Ponyville town pride need to in any way impress this pony.  Still, to the episode's credit Rarity quickly explains how his reviews have put other towns on the map, and so for a brief instance I get my hopes up that this episode is actually going to focus on Rarity trying to impress him not for her own sake, but for her desire to enhance the reputation of Ponyville... and then she starts fawning like a school-filly.

    Now admittedly, this isn't really anything new for Rarity, but I'll be upfront about it; Trenderhoof's design out right sucks.  He's awkwardly lanky, with a bland color palette, a too cool for rules soul patch, and don't even get me started on his wardrobe.  He bears no resemblance to any of the previous ponies that Rarity has idolized, romantically or otherwise.  Hoity Toity, Fancy Pants, and even Blueblood; these were all ponies that could be readily identified as individuals of sophistication and class at a glance.  Trenderhoof though, no, just no.

    He's really seems more of a hipster by design, which is seemingly reflected in his pension for liking things before they are cool.  This is practically the antithesis of Rarity and the types of ponies she has previously admired who are all TRENDSETTERS.  Admittedly there is a superficial overlap, but the key difference if that a trendsetter thrives on promoting their passion so that others can appreciate it too (or at least to enhance their own fame), as opposed to the hipster mentality that almost abhors the notion that the things they like could be corrupted by the masses.

    Sigh… and then we get to the train station which is a scene that gives me very mixed feeling.  Rarity is nervous, to the extreme, which might work if this was an episode just about town pride and/or her career.  We've seen Rarity get nervous about living up to the expectations of her idols and likewise seen her embarrassed about the rusticness of her hometown.  Unfortunately this scene frames it all "romantically", which is something Rarity has never really been shown to falter on.  Compared to her forwardness with trying to woo the affections of Blueblood… well, technically she did still have to work up the nerve to first introduce herself, but in this episode that aspect is overplayed and it gets old fast.

    Still, expectations can be a real nerve-racker, and once she does get over them her interactions with Trenderhoof are everything I've come to expect from Rarity, even if I still don't really get what she finds attractive about him, physically or intellectually.  Of course then we get to the even bigger controversy of this episode, the love triangle… but you know what?  I actually like this part.  I mean I still don't get Rarity's half, but Trenderhoof's attraction to Applejack makes more senses.  As I mentioned before, he seems to me like a hipster archetype and so for him the appeal of AJ would be in the "exotic".  Now admittedly one might think he's met farmers before, but AJ isn't just a farmer; previous episodes have established that she is genuinely good looking and cleans up real well, so I can believe that the combination of such contrasting aspects would sucker Trenderhoof.  I even adore his initially inane attempts to woo AJ with things she could care less about.  I also like how AJ is clearly not oblivious to his advance, she's just not even remotely interested and has got better things to do.

    Oh, and along the way we get some amusing lampshades in regards to Spike's one-sided crush on Rarity.  They never really go anywhere, but they are still no less fun.

    Now then, we have Rarity's first attempts to emulate AJ and prove that she can be just as rustic, in her best jewel incrusted work-duds… and I absolutely love every minute of it.  I mean, yeah, it's painfully embarrassing and reeks of the most shallow superficial facades imaginable, but that's pretty much the entire point.  Then failing that, she takes it all even further with an insultingly over the top hick style redress of not just herself but the entire theme for the upcoming festival… and that accent, my god that forced country accent.  I. just. LOVE. It! Beyond that I think what I enjoy most about Rarity's bald-faced attempts to go "simple" is that she embraces it with ALL her normal flare for the elaborate, and in so doing completely misses the point.

    Admittedly, I half expected Applejack to be rightfully infuriated that this is how her supposed "friend" sees her, but to AJ's credit the whole scenario is just too absurd to do anything other than laugh.  Besides, why get angry when you can get even, which brings us to the elegant Miss Applejewel.  Now the shoe is on the other hoof and I love it all just as much, and even if AJ is actually trying to help, I like to imagine her taking at least a little satisfaction in it as well.  Admittedly AJ's choice of dress does clash with her own natural colors, but that's kind of the point; Rarity sucks at being rustic and AJ is equally bad at being fancy.  Though one minor complaint, her vocal affections in this scene were disappointing; I really wish that they'd used her Manehattan accent from Cutie Mark Chronicles, but I guess AJ's just out of practice after all these years.

    So after a bit mudslinging --literally-- the conflict is resolved and all is right in the world again, plus we all get to have one last laugh at Trenderhoof's expense… and may it truly be the last as if I never see him again it would be too soon.  Seriously, I'll take more of Blueblood's pompously inflated self-important flank any day.  Now I will say that I was a little disappointed with the closing montage of the actual festival.  I don't much care for all the blatant recycling of Canterlot character models which seem too fancy for Ponyville even under the auspicious supervisions of Rarity.  It all feels more like she just went and replaced everypony in town rather than gussying them up as best she could.  Still, for just these short few scenes I guess we couldn't expect them to budget the expense of anything new.

    So then, my final evaluation? :raritycry: :raritydespair: :raritystarry: :raritywink: :duck:

    The episode has its flaws.  It really should have kept the focus of Rarity's desire to impress Trenderhoof on her career rather than heart.  The attempt at a love triangle is woefully forced and arbitrary to the point of contrivance.  That said, the sheer absurdity still made me genuinely laugh in between attempts to palm my own face off to make the embarrassment stop.  Even at their worst in this episode though, the characters remain relatable and likable.  I cringe not because the episode is "bad", but because I pity the characters self-inflicted misfortunes.  So in the end I like the episode, I really and truly do.  It can't compete with any of my top three favorites of this season, but it easily beats out most everything else, including Rarity's other episode this season.

    Granted, Rarity Takes Manehatten had a better premise (and earns bonus points for world building), but it stumbled on a forced and grossly superficial execution.  By contrast, Simple Ways has a dreadful premise, but for the most part shines in execution.  For all that I still don't see why Rarity would have a crush on Trenderhoof in the first place, for the rest of the episode she's in nigh perfect form, even as she compromises everything she believes in to impress a pony that in no way deserves the effort.

    Anyway, Sorry if my lack of fury disappoints, but for good or ill the world shan't be ending today, at least not by my hand.

    20 comments · 248 views
  • 64w, 6d
    Re: What Applejack and Rainbow Dash's Elements of Harmony Should Have Been

    This blog post is something of a response to Digibrony's latest video.  My apologies to my meager subscriber count for wasting time on this instead doing the thing you're all supposedly following me for in the first place and getting a new chapter out in one of my overdue fics.  Anyway, to make sure anyone reading this knows what I'm talking about...

    So, let's cut to the chase.  I can't really agree with this at all.  The idea that AJ and Dash are somehow the wrong way around is just a gross misconception of what their elements mean, both to themselves and in the greater context of being components upon which friendship is built.  It might make for an amusing joke or parody, but shouldn't ever be indulged as having any serious merit.


    Let's start with Applejack and the concept of Honesty — in the context of MLP this is about more than just telling the literal truth, but about being a truthful individual.  When AJ says she's the most dependable pony it's because of that honesty, because once she makes a promise she always keeps it, because failing to do so would make her retroactively a liar.  This was the main conflict in both Applebuck Season and Last Roundup.  It's also likely why she doesn't charge more in SSCS6k.  Given the length of the lines she could easily charge 3, 4, or even 5 bits per mug while still selling out every day, and a profit minded entrepreneur would do just that.  AJ, however, isn't profit minded, but rather honest minded; 2 bits a mug is all her family needs to make enough profit to see them through the winter, so that's all she's going to charge.  It's also why she refuses to "cheat" in the competition by lowering quality standards, because even if it let them make more cider it wouldn't be the genuine product.

    The idea that she is somehow exceptionally more loyal than honest is just silly because her qualities of the former are built out of the latter.  More so though, when the chips are down and shit hits the fan, she's really not very loyal at all.  The most prominent example perhaps being Swarm of the Century, where when the parasprites start devouring all the food in town, AJ abandons her friends and the rest of Ponyville as well in order to safeguard her own farm first and foremost.  Sure one could argue that she was just thinking about making sure everypony would still have food after the crisis, or just choosing loyalty to kin over friends, but that's not really how the scene plays out, and AJ doesn't even make a pretense of apologizing before leaving her friends high and dry on their own.  Likewise, she shows a distinct lack of loyalty in Last Roundup, where she up an leaves behind everypony in Ponyville (including her family) just because she's too prideful to admit she wasn't able to deliver on a promise.

    While yes, it could be said that AJ's episodes are more about loyalty than honesty, they are such always only in so far as AJ herself learning to be more loyal and/or less stuborn, whether it is to others or to herself.  This is precisely why she couldn't be the Element of Loyalty, at least certainly not in the first episode.  To wield the Elements of Harmony is to be an exemplar of that quality, and AJ still has a lot to learn about Loyalty.  Contrast say Rarity, who despite being inarguably vein and occasionally even a little greedy, she is never lacking in generosity, in the willingness to give of herself for the sake of others.  Yes, she occasionally misjudges what it is those around her actually need most, but she is still always giving and no episode has ever been about her learning to be more generous.  Even in Sweet and Elite she is clearly torn between her old friends in Ponyville and her new contacts in Canterlot, with the linchpin that causes her to temporarily make the wrong choice being when those Canterlot ponies first beg her that they absolutely NEED her to attend their various events, that is to say, when they impose upon her generosity.

    Now, I will admit that the way AJ demonstrated her element in the pilot was pretty poorly executed, but that seems mostly the fault having to cram six such trials into a mere 22 minute episode.  Even at that, while it seems silly for AJ not to just tell Twilight outright why it's okay to let go (because Dash and Flutters are there to catch her), the idea still works in that the reason Twilight can trust AJ is because she's honest.  Friendship is built on trust and that trust is built out of honesty.  That said, AJ did much better job of proving this quality, not in the Everfree Forest, but in the Ponville Library when she was the one that told all the others they should both give Twilight the chance to explain and believe what she had to say.  So perhaps AJ's element should have been more accurately called something like "Trust" or even "Faith", with her honesty just being the reason why others can always trust her.

    Still, what AJ really is at the core of her character though, is an archetype for the supposed concept of "good old-fashioned country values", which rightly or not are often considered more honest than modern urban values.


    Now for Rainbow Dash and the concept of Loyalty — she perhaps says it best in one of her earliest lines, "I would never leave Ponyville hanging," and yet despite this bold declaration it's sort of hard to take her at her word.  Not only is Rainbow Dash kind of lazy, but also very self-centered.  At first glance she seems very much like the sort who only cares about herself and would without hesitation abandon others to pursue her own ambitions, which is in fact how Nightmare Moon later tries to tempt her into betrayal.  Actually, I think it could be quite telling that Dash's trial comes last (discounting Twilight of course who had to discover what the sixth element was in the first place) and is the only one where NMM is actively attempting to subvert the pony's future element; it suggests she'd become aware of what was happening and was now taking active measure to prevent the last piece from falling into place.  Anyway though, were Dash the Element of Honesty, she'd likely have rejected the Shadowbolts on the grounds of not wanting a free handout, preferring to earn her victories for herself, but that not what she does and instead jumps at the opportunity completely buying into every bit of ego stroking she's fed; instead it is only when she is forced to choose between her ambition and her friends that she chooses the latter and proves herself the Element of Loyalty.

    Even more so though, this notion that she's somehow the most "authentic" of the mane-six just doesn't bear out, because if anything she's the opposite.  All of her ego, all of her grandstanding might make it seem like she's made out of confidence, but as seen in episodes like Sonic Rainboom, she is anything but confidant; it's all just a mask she wears to hide from her own insecurity and fear of failure.  This compared to Fluttershy who knows she's something of a coward who'd rather runaway and hide than stand up for herself (even while being still quite capable of standing up for others), or Rarity who has no illusions about her own vanity and so makes no false pretenses at modesty and really does feel that she deserves to be treated like royalty, or Pinkie Pie who genuinely does just want to see everypony smile.  There are no pretenses with the other mane-six and they all wear there souls bare and in plain sight; it's really only ever Rainbow Dash who hides from herself and is afraid to admit things because for fear of how others might judge her.

    As in the preceding section it could be said that Dash has more episodes about honesty than loyalty, but again that's because she already is an exemplar of loyalty and so doesn't have much more to learn on that front.  Conversely, in episodes like Read it and Weep she learns that it's okay to both like books and to admit that having a diverse range of interests doesn't have to detract from her core self-identity as an athlete.  She still gets to have episodes about Loyalty though, which is the key conflict in Wonderbolts Academy.  Dash initially goes along with Lighting Dust's recklessness because Spitfire seems to believe in her and Dash believes in Spitfire, or at least she wants to.  The conflict is finally resolved not because of honesty but because of loyalty; Dash wants to be Wonderbolt, it's all she's ever dreamed of, but her loyalty comes first to her friends and perhaps more importantly to her own morality, and if those are values which don't matter to the Wonderbolts than that's not something she can be part of.

    Some people like to use examples where Rainbow Dash speaks her mind as an example of honesty, such as when she said that Rarity kind of was a laughing stock in Suited for Success, or how she was the first of the mane-six to openly voice an opinion on the first set of dresses.  Neither was a particularly good example of being honest though, but rather just being blunt, superficial and inconsiderately tactless.  She's not saying these things because she thinks Rarity needs to hear the truth, but because she never stops to consider how hurtful that truth might be.  Dash might always speak her mind, but it's not because of honesty, but because she just has a bad habit of speaking the first thing that comes to mind without ever stopping to consider the consequences; she's a speedster, not just in her actions but her words as well.  This superficiality, and complete lack of authenticity, is also the driving conflict behind Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, where Dash gets completely sucked into her own hype and forgets that it is her deeds that make her a hero, not her popularity.  Fame can be a fickle and fleeting thing, it's a poor way to define one's own self-worth, and Dash suffered for it when the next big thing came along and she mistakenly felt like she was no longer a hero without all the adoring fans to cheer her on.


    Bring this all back together, I think it's also telling to look at the mane-six's cutie mark stories.  Each of them not only involved discovering their talent, but their future element as well.  Rainbow Dash didn't just prove her speed, but did so while in her own words 'defending Fluttershy's honor'.  She wasn't racing for her own sake but as a way to stand up for someone else.  Whereas AJ found her talent not just in going back to her farm and family, but in finally being able to admit to herself that it was where she truly belongs, the city having been just a false dream she was never really happy with and where she had to pretend to be something else just to fit in.

    If the words LOYALTY and HONESTY seem ill-fitting or lacking when describing these two ponies, it's only because they are just singular words being used to define complex characters and concepts, but they don't have be the only words we use, and we get some good alternatives in Magical Mystery Cure, where Celestia describes them over a panning shot of the character as "charity, compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and of course, the leadership".  So really the important thing is to not get hung up on words, but to see past those words to the meaning underneath.

    Because really, if we get hung up on words, would not generosity just be a subset of kindness?  Are not the great lengths Pinkie Pie goes to brighten everyone's day while asking for nothing but a smile in return an expression of generosity? Was not Fluttershy's admission of her own insignificance and humility when Discord tried to first turn her against the others an expression of honesty, or what about Twilight who wouldn't just except the existence of Pinkie Sense and instead tried to find the truth behind it?  Or just as much, how Twilight is unfalteringly dedicated and loyal to the princess.  The fact is that all of the mane-six are good upstanding ponies and as such they all possess aspects of all six Elements of Harmony, just not in equal measure.  Rather than mince details over the exact words used to describe them, we should instead take it as a given that they are the exemplars they already proved themselves to be when first defeating Nightmare Moon and then later Discord.  Instead of trying to define the ponies by the elements, we should define the elements by the ponies.


    Oh, and special thanks to Empty-bee for posting a link to this this on Reddit's MLP analysis community.

    10 comments · 382 views
  • 81w, 1d
    Sometimes the Friendship Really is Magic

    So, I finally got the chance to sit down with my younger cousin, and watch the season three finale.

    She went into it completely unspoiled, not knowing what would happen, and when it came to the moment of truth with Twilight and Celestia in the astral void, well... initially she seemed more focused on cracking some jokes about the poses not looking very natural for an equine body shape.  However, the moment Twilight started rising into the air, glowing with inner light, my cousin's eyes lit up just as much and she was a flurry of, "Oh my gosh, what's happening!" and all I could do is smile as I watched her watch Twilight.

    Then Twilight lands back in Ponyville to spread her wings for the first time and as she does my cousin was practically leaping for joy, which only doubled when Celestia showed up to proclaim that Twilight had not only become an alicorn, but a princess as well.  This is something my cousin had asked about way back when we first started watching episodes together last summer.  Even as early as the end of the second episode, my cousin thought Clestia must be training Twilight to become a new princess, so I knew she was going to enjoy this, but getting to see it all play out on her face was a real treat.

    For all the drama this finale caused in the older peripherals that make up those of us that call ourselves bronies, it was good to see that at least for one young girl --just a few years over the show's target demographics-- this epic event went off flawlessly... well, almost.

    She was very concerned that this meant the show was over, that there would be no more stories left to tell, so it was also nice to be able to assure her that a fourth season was already in the works.

    7 comments · 188 views
  • 96w, 6d
    Back On Track

    3 comments · 143 views
  • ...

No story is ever truly whole unto only itself, there are always details and events that go untold.  This is one such tale.  While searching through the Everfree forest, Twilight Sparkle encounters a musical aquatic trio, but are they really what the claim to be?  Not if this unicorn has anything to say on the matter.


-- This story is set in RainbowDoubleDash's Lunaverse, and details an off-screen encounter that took place during the events of Boast Busted.

-- Art elements modified from source material by DeviantTy and my own shoddy screen cap work.

First Published
12th Jun 2012
Last Modified
12th Jun 2012
#1 · 127w, 6d ago · · ·

Edit: A whole bunch of proofing that should have gone in a PM. Also, just to be a douche, First!

Really, from reading through your stories, your biggest issues seem to be wording, dropped letters, and quotes. I notice that a lot of your dialogue ends up being as follows:

"I am the best pony." Bestpony said with a mocking tone in her voice, before continuing, "also you are very clearly not the best pony." :trixieshiftleft:

Keep in mind that the sentences in the quote are connected to each other, not to the break. A good guideline is to check how it would be written if it were not broken, for example:

"I am the best pony. also you are very clearly not the best pony." Bestpony said with a mocking tone in her voice. :trixieshiftright:

You'll catch a lot of the unnecessary commas, and the missing capitals. And you'll make my job (as well as that of anyone who proofs) much easier. Not that I mind helping, but I figure one of the best forms of proofreading on my part is helping to prevent the same errors in the future. But then, that could just be the teacher part of me. *Insert Cheerilee emoticon here as there appears to not be one*

Other than the issues, it is an enjoyable read. I'm not sure if you'll keep the red: I enjoyed it because I am a nerd about such things, but I can see why you might drop it. Assuming that Twilight is heading backwards along the path of the Luna Six in the direction of Ponyville? Or is she in fact heading to the palace, to investigate? If so, it might be interesting to see some of her other dealings with the various challenges of the Forest that the six had to deal with.

#2 · 127w, 6d ago · · ·

So here it is a brief side story for your enjoyment.  Sorry for the delay.  I know I promised to have it up by Monday, but well technical difficulties and all.

Anyway, personally, I'm mostly on Twilight's side in this matter, pretty much my whole reason for writing this in the first place, though the girl seriously needs to learn to chill and not be so pushy.  Ultimately though, I tried to leave everything vague enough for each reader to make their own decisions.  Are Twilight's sources accurate, or do the "sirens" themselves really know best, or does any of it even matter?

I'm also quite aware that I took a few liberties with some of the more common kelpie myths, which I was only loosely familiar with when I first came up with this idea.  That said, a monster that adheres its rider in a world full of equinoid races just doesn't make much sense to me.  So I'm happy to leave it at horse-like river monster that lures victims to a watery grave.

Special thanks go out to RainbowDoubleDash, not just for creating and opening up the Lunaverse, but for basically commanding me to write this particular story.  Without that this might have never gotten past being a one off joke on the message boards.  Also, I would like to thank Blackbelt who helped give me the courage to actually go through with publishing this silly little thing, as well as major help punching up one particular spot and suggesting the chapter sub-title.  Finally, a big round of thanks goes out to Mally for proofing the heck out of this.  Being the finicky self-indulgent artist I am, I sort of ignored a good chunk of that advice, but he was still a big help.  Give that little penguin a few more cigars.

#3 · 127w, 6d ago · · ·

:yay: As I said before, this is great!

#4 · 127w, 6d ago · · 1 ·


Well, it wasn't meant as an imperial command, but if this is the standard result then I'm going to have to start handing those out more often. This was hilarious!

In hindsight I probably should have made the sirens kelpies, but then we wouldn't have this gem. So in the end: worth it. :twilightsmile:

#5 · 127w, 6d ago · · ·

Hell yeah, it's finally up!!!!!


#6 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


Well my apologies if I've feed that African sized ego of yours too much.  It's not like you made me do anything I didn't already want to do, just helped push me over that line from idea into reality.

It also pleases me so much to hear you pay my story the double compliment of being both a hilarious gem while also sorta providing a passive agreement to its founding conceit.  Careful with that kinda of flattery though, or yours won't be the only geographically sized ego.

#7 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

Ah, Twilight. Her delusions and smug superiority are always fun.

I liked this a lot. Twilight does seem a bit Flanderized -- I don't think the reimagined Twilight would get that flustered/irate in response to a single 'books are silly', instead she'd probably just think whoever said that was dumb -- but it works well within the story. I also like this other take on the kelpie myths.

I did think that the digression on reproduction went on a little bit long (and perhaps could have been excised entirely), but other than that, no big complaints. Nice job!

#8 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


Well, don't forget that this is following close on the heels of some two-bit stage magician telling her she doesn't know anything about magic *and* goading her into making her look like an idiot in front of Ponyville.

She's not the best right now.

#9 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

>>737917: Fair enough.

#10 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


Always interesting to see differences of opinion.  The internal rage following the 'books can be wrong' line was originally more subdued, almost not there at all.  That's the part Blackbelt had me punch up.  I didn't go near as extreme as he suggested, but I thought I'd found a happy medium.  I have her lose her cool mentally, but it barely shows through in her actual words or actions.  Had she only randomly encountered these three on any other day, she probably would have more easily blown it off, but as is, it's sort of compiling on top of the stress she's already dealing with in regards to Trixie (which >>737917 seems to have already pointed out).  Plus, while it was the first time they insulted her books directly, they had already been basically mocking both her and her knowledge for pretty much the entire conversation, with that last part basically just being the straw that broke the camel's back such as it were.

Glad you enjoyed my take on kelpies, also hoped you appreciated my little shout-out to yours.

Sorry if the reproduction tangent seemed a bit long to you, and yeah it probably could have been left out, but personally I think the story is funnier for having it.  Not like any of it goes into explicit detail, keeping things fairly textbook level.

#11 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

Heck yeah, I woulda had Twilight blow something up.

#12 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

Ah, Lunaverse Twilight. Such a dork. :twilightoops: I gave a number of chuckles to her lecture, there. So pedantic and so... her, even canon-Twilight would do that, methinks. Wonderful!

#13 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


Like I said earlier, I quite enjoyed reading this, and would be happy to work with you in the future. A younger me might have taken umbrage with you not using all of my advice, but I've since learned the difference between 'advice' and 'commands'.

I hope to see more from you in the future.

#14 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


If it helps lessen any lingering "umbrage", you did help push me over the edge on including the red part.  I also never flat out ignored you, I weighed each decision to do so very carefully first.  I might be something of a self-entitled artistic snob, but I try not to be overly arrogant about it. :duck:

#15 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


Shoosh. Like I said, a younger me.

A younger me was also severely in need of getting his ass kicked.

#16 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


Plus the disparaging remarks about their parents, don't forget that. My final take is almost :twilightsmile: compared to the :twilightangry2: you suggested.


Yes, yes she is.  Also a bit rude, even beyond having the nerve to lecture a trio of innocent river dwellers on their own true nature.

Unsolicited Author's Note: She makes a big deal about insisting to the sirens that she has a name, but never bothers asking theirs.  That was one reason I had for ignoring a piece of Mally's advices, and left all instances of "red/teal/yellow eyes" uncapitalized (other than being too lazy to Ctrl-H it all).  Where as Lyra used those as more proper nicknames, even if only internally, Twilight just never bothers coming up with any way to specifically address them and the narration just sort of has to make do.

I actually did consider giving them real names at one point, but felt that if even RDD hadn't bothered, who was I to be so presumptuous in doing so (plus the afore mentioned laziness).  Heck for all I know they're like medieval Scottish gargoyles and don't have individual names amongst themselves.  So maybe, just maybe, Twilight was being culturally sensitive rather than inconsiderately rude, probably mostly inconsiderate though.  Bah, I'll leave it to some other author to decide.


Most of us needed our asses kicked when we were younger, some of us might still be in that phase too, though the concept of younger is all relative (RvB 10 year idiot rule and such).  Besides, older usses are just younger usses with more layers built up on top.  No reason to risk anything trickling down into the basement.

#17 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

That was a charming little add-on to Boast Busted! It was delightfully fun! Well done Emeral! :twilightsmile: Gotta love that dorky Twilight!

#18 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

This was very funny.  And it's great to see L!Twilight used as a protagonist.

#19 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·


I'm not so sure this story actually had a proper protagonist, and I'm even less sure it would be Twilight (maybe as some kind of ineffectual villain protagonist).  She's the one making all the trouble here.  The "sirens" where just minding there own business and trying to grab a bite to eat.  Granted they eat ponies, but they are never any real threat in this story.

#20 · 127w, 5d ago · · ·

>>741662 I struggled in my decision with how to word that, but the story is told from her point of view. So, even if she's not the "Hero" of the story (there's not really a right side here) she's still the protagonist.

#21 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·

I'd noticed that she dismissed sight-unseen the possibility that there's a village loaded with the other sort of kelpie; that's news to Dinky and the L!Six.

#22 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·


Twilight probably put on her skeptic hat on a little tight that day if she wasn't willing to question why kelpies were a known danger in Everfree but mythical outside. That and had her flank given to her by a 4 ton star bear.

#23 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·


Incidentally, while I never gave them names, I have taken to at least mentally calling the sirens/kelpies/cannibal sea ponies Krazny, Zhelty, and Chirok.

There's a joke there if you can find it.

#24 · 127w, 3d ago · · ·

>>746789 >>747269

Well considering DatB is a non-canon story Twilight may well have good reason to be skeptical.  Besides after seeing the 'sirens' argue about hippopotamus and hippogriffs when she spoke of hippocampus, and also having one of them mistake kelpie for kelp I'm not sure she has much reason at all to trust the accuracy of anything they are speaking about.  After all they're just ignorant forest hicks, she's the one who's educated and well read here. :twilightsmile:


Other than that they are all Russian names, or at least that's what Google is telling me, I'm not getting the connection.  Could maybe be the meaning of the names, but I can't find them in any of the typical resources I use for that.  Probably thinking to hard on this and overlooking something simple. (pre-edit: yes it was simple, those are just Russian for the colors, I think.  Finding an auto-translate that doesn't insist on spitting out Russian letters was difficult.  As best I can tell, they even match perfectly with the ones I was already just starting to associate them with.)

I am liking the names though.  In a future revision I could conceivably have the narrative pick them up after Twilight leaves and the perspective shifts to follow the trio as the blow-off everything she said.

#25 · 127w, 3d ago · · ·


Yup, they're just the Russian words for their colors. Though technically Krazny and Zhelty should actually be spelled Kraznyj and Zheltyj, but when transliterating we normally drop the J since it's superfluous to an English pronounceantion.

For those who don't speak Russian (and don't feel like translating), kraznyj, zheltyj, and chirok translate as red, yellow, and teal, respectively.

#26 · 126w, 5d ago · · ·

Twilight is WAY too obsessed with books! But this fic is awesome!:pinkiehappy:

#27 · 125w, 3d ago · · ·

Wait, how have I not seen this fic yet? :pinkiegasp: I must read it now!

#28 · 125w, 3d ago · · ·

Okay, now I've read it; and RDD was right, it's hilarious. :pinkiehappy: definitely worth reading. Your other stuff is better, though that's to be expected. :twilightsmile:

#29 · 125w, 3d ago · · ·



This one really was little more than a silly little rant.  It's hardly even a proper story as there is never any real tension, just characters talking at each other and never reaching any particular conclusion.  I'll take moderate refuge in the fact that it's just an aside to the larger tale that is Boast Busted, but that's still mostly just an excuse.

Though this fic did help get me into Twilight's head, so EoI might not exist without it.

#30 · 125w, 3d ago · · ·

>>830094 Well there is the technical conclusion in Twi running off and the kelpies disregarding her and swimming away. Sorry, my infrequent pickiness required me to point that out. :twilightsheepish:

And :yay: for it leading to EoI, I guess. :trixieshiftleft: I'm going to stop pestering you here and let you get back to that, or whatever else you were doing.

#31 · 119w, 13h ago · · ·


That penguin is a Piplup from Pokémon. Anyway, nice story. That is, Lunaverse story.

#32 · 119w, 13h ago · · ·


Yes, yes it is, still a penguin Pokémon though, so my originally statement stands; I was internationally being generic. :ajbemused:

Thanks for trying though. :twilightsmile:

#33 · 96w, 4d ago · · ·

⸘Steven‽  ¿Who is this Steven?  ¡I shall go play with my Magnets!

#34 · 90w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I'm disappointed in you, Twi. You were wrong. A species which is asexual is indeed incapable of sex, and either goes extinct quickly or reproduces asexually. The word you seem to be looking for is "hermaphroditic," and if we want to be more precise it sounds like sirens are simultaneous hermaphrodites.

An odd word, "hermaphrodite." What is it that's so quintessentially masculine about Hermes? Seriously, Aphrodite makes sense, but Hermes seems so arbitrary.

And really, asexual? It's not exactly a popular form of reproduction among complex organisms; I'm not sure off the top of my head if there's any members of the animal kingdom that primarily reproduce asexually (and if there are, they're probably on the simple side of Cnidaria at the most complex). Hermaphroditism, on the other hand, is rather common.

#35 · 90w, 4d ago · · ·


Well the "true" sirens did indeed supposedly go extinct, so you might have a point.

Still though, in a world with functional magic there could be methods of reproduction beyond our limited scientific understanding.  Actually, even in our own world their exist some reasonably complex mono-gender species, like the New Mexico whiptail, which while it can breed by hybridizing with certain other lizard species, they are also full capable of doing so without via parthenogenesis.

Plus there is always the possibility of bizarre alien biologies, like say the Namekians of Dragon Ball Z, or the Assari of Mass Effect.

#36 · 90w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2191533 The New Mexico whiptail is certainly something I didn't know about; thank you for alerting me to its existence. It's a pretty interesting species.

Nevertheless, no matter what biology sirens may have, the point stands that Twilight was unambiguously wrong when she said that asexual does not mean they don't have sex (and don't tell me she meant "doesn't mean they don't reproduce" because the whole story is about Twilight insisting on being precisely correct). And I'm not going to apologize for using Occam's Razor to conclude sirens are hermaphrodites either, even if it's probably not as reliable as finding Twilight and bugging her to change her answer to something less obviously wrong.

#37 · 90w, 4d ago · 1 · ·


Well it's kind of the point that Twilight has got her facts less than perfect.  Marine biology isn't her area of expertise, same as with earlier in the chapter when she tries applying her limited understanding of music to critique the trio's song.  She's more or less supposed to come across as something of a presumptuously insufferable know-it-all, who acts like she knows more than she really does.

#38 · 90w, 4d ago · · ·

>>2192063 She shouldn't be saying anything I can verify as wrong, though. I know nothing about fantastic marine biology (and presume the same applies to most people reading this story), so I can't check anything she says from her knowledge of that subject. All I can check is things that any human or pony with a fraction of her education should know, like the definition of "asexual." She comes off as pompous, and as trusting too absolutely in books over more direct sources of information, sure, but to me she doesn't come off as wrong to me outside her flagrant misuse of "asexual" and her misinformation about kelpie populations, and with her debating fantastic marine biological classifications, I don't see any way to plausibly show her as wrong except by bringing up topics where we would be inclined to trust anecdotal evidence over her, and it doesn't seem likely for the conversation to drift so far towards the practically more than a few times, if that.

And when she's talking about music she just sounds like she's being persnickety about definitions; I have no doubt that under a definition of "song" that does not include chants, which I would consider a valid definition (though obviously not the only valid definition), the kelpies were not singing, they were chanting.

#39 · 90w, 4d ago · · ·


I have no doubt that under a definition of "song" that does not include chants, which I would consider a valid definition

That's sort of the the trick of it now isn't it, because it's not so much a matter of Twilight's -- flagrant misuse of "asexual" -- so much as her just using a specific definition of the term, and while perhaps not your preferred choice, the term can be accurately used to describe a species that lacks sexual dimorphism and/or that reproduces without the need for any kind of sexual intercourse.

a•sex•u•al [ey-sek-shoo-uhl]


a. having no sex or sexual organs.

b. independent of sexual processes, especially not involving the union of male and female germ cells.

#40 · 90w, 3d ago · · ·

>>2192114 And that's what I said. "Lacking sexual organs and/or independent of sexual processes" is exactly what the kelpies correctly took "asexual" to mean. "Having sexual organs and making use of them in sexual processes" is something Twilight implicitly said describes sirens, thus contradicting all valid definitions of "asexual." Even the one where it is a sexual orientation.

It helps that the variety of valid definitions for words is more or less inversely proportional to word length.

#41 · 90w, 3d ago · · ·


Actually, no.   You seem to have somewhat missed the point.  The trio here (or at least red) initially misinterpret the term; assuming it means, "something that has sex a lot."

Whereas what twilight says basically amounts to a statement that while oceanic sirens had physical characteristics that other species identify as making them look female, that such was a misconception.

To go back to something I mentioned previously, as a gendered species we humans might try to identify Nameks as male or Asari as female because that is what they look like to us, but as neither of those two species actually possess gender differentiation our attempts to ascribe them with such qualities would be inaccurate. Nor would it be accurate to call either species hermaphroditic, as they don't possess both male and female sexual organs, but rather have a completely different manner of reproduction; Nameks need no partner to reproduce, they just spit up eggs, and while Asari do engage in a form of psychic mating, the actual biological process is wholly self-contained to a singular parent with no genetic contributions from the partner.

#42 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2196692 Firstly, this doesn't change the fact that Twilight said the term does not indicate how much sirens have sex, when it by definition does.

Secondly, I want to call a debate foul on you because I suspect you were deliberately withholding the information that I has misinterpreted Red's statement.

Thirdly, your examples seem to both be asexual (a bit debatable with the Asari, but that's not really the point), so of course they're not hermaphroditic.

Fourthly, all Twilight told me about sirens is that they do engage in sex and do not have separate genders, which is enough to conclude that they fit "hermaphrodite" better than any other category I have a word for, and not enough to even remotely justify theorizing beyond that.

Fifthly, Twilight can try to use "asexual" to mean "does not have separate genders" all she wants; it won't make it a correct definition unless she can get a lot of other ponies to use "asexual" in the same way.

#43 · 90w, 2d ago · · ·


1) Actually that was more or less exactly the point Twilight was trying to make, that the term "asexual" does not mean "has lots of sex".

2) I did not intentionally withhold the information, I was simply unaware you had made such a misinterpretation until that last post.

3) Again, that is basically my point, Nameks and Asari possess secondary characteristics that make them look male/female to human eyes, but in truth they both have a wholly asexual biology.

4) If that's how you interpreted the scene, well I guess I'm sorry, but that was not the intent.  It is only Red-eyes who ever says anything about "having lots of sex", due to her own ignorance, while Twilight is only attempting to disavow her of that misconception.

5) Accept that really is already a fully valid definition of the term.

#44 · 77w, 3d ago · · ·

is it just me, or did twilight sound more like doctor who in that whole gambit

#45 · 72w, 5d ago · · ·


Twilight got a bit absent-minded... kinda funny really!.Then again, the Kelpies were of inconsequential threat to her.

#46 · 41w, 6d ago · · ·

Twilight you just trolled them. Love it.

#47 · 15w, 5d ago · · ·

Twilight's so close to canon in this that I can imagine this happening in the canon-verse.


#48 · 15w, 5d ago · · ·


Thank you.  I certainly tried to be true to who Twilight is regardless of verse.  After all, L!Twi is basically still supposed to be mostly the same pony, just one who didn't learn the lessons in friendship from the first episode.

#49 · 15w, 5d ago · · ·


You're quite welcome, it's great to see AU characters who seem in character for the main universe.

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