• Member Since 28th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen May 4th

halothair


Desperado, you better come to your senses...

T

Dragons. Everyone knows that all dragons in Equestria are rude, bullies, and smelly. Nobody particularly likes them, especially Spike, who has just gotten over his encounter with his kin.

But one day, a new type of dragon has shown up in Canterlot Castle.

Krikaan Drake. A nicer dragon than others, but with a dark secret that may destroy Equestria as we know it...

Set a few weeks after Dragon Quest.
I own Krikaan and nothing else.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

THANK YOU! I've been waiting for someone to write a good dragon oc. There are not many around here.

first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first

gotta say, the descendant's pretty sweet.

(edit) dammit. feel like deleting that, grekoy?
(edit) thoughts: aaight. dragon meets mane six. funny resemblance to hie fics where the human has some dramatically convenient yet poorly placed superpower, but not dramatically convenient or poorly placed, because this guy actually has powers beyond human. your premise seems solid- a dragon who is not only not an asshole (or is he?) but is on a mission befriends ponies. culture shock and epic saga and/or lulz ensue. btw, the conversation with flutters that introduces this is rather stilted. rather small upload; im used to authors taking forever on monstrous beasts of chapters rather than the little one-off youve got goin for you here, but thats fine. younger viewers? what? if youre omitting something, then dont; its frustrating to us and detracts from your story. a note on biology: once hydrated and nourished, and when first aid was applied to that leg, he would not likely have been out for a week. 'specially if hes a warrior; as i assume from that emerald-gilt armour. spike should be an oddity to this guy; he should have expressed interest in him a little more. the pacing here is weird; you tried to chunk the passage of time into those little blurbs, and the point where he woke up especially feels abbreviated; id like to see a little more of this guys head before he just jumps in to his quest; makes him a little flat as a character as it stands. if this were in first person id feel more comfortable with that sort of thing for reasons, but this is third.
not holding my breath, but might be some fun. i like the whole hie feel this thing has, b/c that is not the standard of dragon fics and it is evidently a refreshing departure from the usual fare of hie that im used to. the mystery tag gives it enough flavor to keep me interested for now. too early for predictions. happy writing, good sir!

6726980
What? someone actually likes stuff? That I do? How and whyyyyyyyy
thanks anyway

6726994
Agreed, The Descendant is my best inspiration!
Also, I'm afraid you didn't get first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first, but I hope you enjoy second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second
it's not that bad

6726994 are you asking me to delete my comment?

Well, I think you have done great so far! I love dragons, so as a dragon lover, I'm already biased to this story a little, but I also enjoy the story itself as well! Keep writing, my friend!

6727052
Yes, dragons are beast! Not actual beasts, some are actually quite intelligent, as I tried to demonstrate here. I will write some buddy stuff between big red dragon and small purple and green dragon soon

Great story hope more comes soon!:twilightsmile:

6727069 aaight! those guys might really hit it off!... once you give this guys existence some context of course.
and yes; dragonlover since 2004. dragons ARE beast.

6727027 i just really like being first.

6727069 Ya know, I'm actually doing a story centered around dragons as well. I wonder if maybe one day we could collaborate? I've never done that before, and I'd find it fun.

6726994
Well, I certainly appreciate your honesty and constructive criticism. I might need to get a proofreader for my stories!

6728065 nah. too early for that. although, id have fun with it if it were me, but ive been told im a little bullheaded. and unclear.
seems fine so far. the only complaint of real substance i have is that conversation. but that sorta thing is commonplace in this form of casual reading.
happy writing!

Interesting, it has potential, just needs some work like a gem that needs a little refining.

Eg.
His traits could be mentioned piece by piece in the chapter, not all at once.
You also need an editor cause I spotted a number of mistakes

Just a heads up. When asked, Fluttershy said he was out for a month, then he asks "a week?" Not very observant, eh? :fluttershysad:

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