meep288
Joined 24th Jan, 2012 ·
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I like the idea, but maybe the grammar could improve a bit
thumbs up for a little creativity
700026
Thanks
There are a bunch of spelling and grammar mistakes, and the story seems a little fast paced, but I haven't seen anything like this before (genderflip Applebloom x Diamond Tiara). Overall, I enjoyed the story, but I think it could be improved if you corrected the spelling errors.
700139
Thanks for the Critique
Could use some improvement in grammar and pacing, but it was good. I particularly like the concept behind it.
702255
Thanks~
A few things I noticed, listed in the orders they appear: (due to cellphone limitations im making this 2 or more comments.)
From the description it was hard to tell that this was M/M, Thought it was Diamond Tiara/Applebloom.
I usually run from M/M as fast as I can. But I made an exception.
Hey! Isn't this R63 version of ponyville? Why do we have DJ-PON3 and not DJ-COL7?
Diamond Crown led Diamond Crown through the front gate.
You where perhaps meaning Diamond Crown led Applebuck through the front gate.
Da Fuq?
What is this?! No stay! I am reading this for my amusment not for sexual encuragement. Stay! (Happened around 7th paragraph)
702428
I didn't even notice that, thanks. I'll fix it right away.
702428
Also, you'll find everything I write is M/M.
Applebuck placed his forehooves upon Diamond Crowns hips to pull himself into Diamond Tiara harder.
Wrong name and double spaces at "upon Diamond"
Stallionhood should be one word just like manhood.
Thats all for my ranting. Well not to bad for my first Gay clopfic, and noticing the usual quality of clopfics then this its ok. Its not like the clopfic I wrote to troll Dreambaker (yes the Dreambaker from tumblr) She might even still have the recording of her "Dramatically" reading it it still on her livestream channel. Its name was: The Robbing Pony. If you want I could give you the google docs link.
Argh. This site DESPERATELY NEEDS M/M clop using characters that are canonically male....
Can you try that next, please?
Just please not Big Mac. He's not fit for clop.
702540
. If you check other things I've written, they're canonically male.
Ah, sorry. I love the '63 aspect. I'll be sure to keep it in mind
702530
I would, that sounds like a hilarious read.
702540 Mr.Cake x Caramel? At the same time as Pinkie x Mrs.Cake happens.
702576 Here you go: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t149S1M085p9JK8kKbFiQLeErun30D_zSFi39SKzFp0/edit?pli=1
Just don't take it to seriously, it was written to be bad you know. only took around 10-20 minutes to write. Just wish I could have found the livestream to link you, we were all having a fun drinking game as she read that horrible fic and many more.
702819
That was actually pretty funny
It is truly not bad. Nice idea for a pairing. But it's a bit rushed, everything happens a bit too fast and their is a rather large lacking of detail where there could of been. Not saying it needs a lot of detail, but a little bit here and there is nice. I suggest getting a friend or someone to go gramma nazi over it, nothing bad can come from a little spelling and grams check.
I predict good things in the future from you through practice. Keep trying your best and I hope things come well (not implying your a novice or anything, just trying to be helpful) OH, and thank you for a fun read 
704541
And thank you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I would consider myself a novice, and I will keep trying my best
702832 Hey! I just found the livestream...
http://www.livestream.com/dreamsbakery/video?clipId=pla_627dcc32-7d14-428c-a1f3-e9effa788274
32:30 is the time she starts reading it. DERP
727508
Oh my, thanks so much. I'll be sure to tune in
727511 Ops sorry, the timestamp is wrong, Its somewhere later in that video, I think -.-
727815
I found it, thanks
Everyone's said the bad so I'll just say the good.
Sexy, cute, sweet, potential for romance.
Yaoi is my kryptonite but it's a poison I can't get enough of.
Bravo.
By the wayward topic love your fantabulous avatar.
834751
Well thank you very much, and I think yaoi would be pink kryptonite. The kryptonite that gives Super Man homosexual tendency
you should do more 63'd CMC clop, there is not enough of it
also loved the story
Son of a- New paragraphs for new speakers! No exceptions!
I'm still reading it and it looks alright. It probably will be, but seriously, new paragraphs.
1730526
Oh my, sorry. I wrote this a year ago. I still have no idea what I'm doing.
Spelling errors aside (And, I never really like to gripe people about those because I'm pretty Godawful at proper grammar and sentence structuring myself.) This is a pretty cute and sexy little one shot. The genderswap thing kind of caught me off guard at first, but, that's not really your fault. But, it had a good set up, Diamond Crown doing the "I'm sorry I was a dick in high school' think was a nice touch and it was really sweet by the end.
Good stuff, dude.
2551002
Thanks so much, I really do appreciate the input. I should get an editor though, my grammar isn't perfect in the least.
You know this is not bad, i dont normally read Gay fics but it holded me to the end 4 out of 5 stars from me.
good job
2882115
Hey, thanks! I appreciate it.