When it comes to light that Rainbow Dash didn't properly pass her citizenship test to come to Ponyville, Pinkie Pie comes up with a crazy idea to keep her from being deported: get married! When Rainbow can't find a pony to go along with the idea, Fluttershy volunteers to help her friend. However, as the two start living their lives as wife and wife until Rainbow's citizenship is approved, they begin to realize that it's not just an act anymore.
Cover image used with ijab's permission.
Chapters (2)
Alright, this sounds pretty funny. I can't read it now, but I'm looking forward to it when I have time.
Interesting... interesting. I wonder what Rainbow reaction will be?
So to end my torturous thought of waiting wonder, you must continue on.
Well, this is... Much better than I thought it would be at first glance, and I've found myself giddy and excited for the next part. But seriously? This is an amazing idea, and I love it so much already. Can't wait to read more!
Rocko, I knew it!!
I want more!
A+ for creativity...C- for making Cloudsdale and Ponyville separate countries.
6601607 I'd say she'll be pretty shocked at first, but also grateful that Fluttershy is willing to do that for her. And don't worry, there'll be more coming.
6601615 Glad you like the idea. I was inspired last night by the cartoon I mentioned. Glad I was able to make a silly concept like this actually believable. Be on the lookout for more!
6601663 Glad you know where the inspiration is coming from. And don't worry, there will be more. And hopefully, this stunt will turn out better for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy than Rocko and Filbert.
6601808
I decided to say that Equestria's laws are different since the land is one big kingdom. Rather than having to pass a citizenship test to come to a country, it's needed to move to a city.
Still, glad you like the creative idea behind it.
Whelp, I'm jumping on the wagon. On to the next chapter! XD
Hi there
nice to see another story from you.
I like the ideas in this. But I feel your execution is a little off at times. Not writing her name right should be an easy fix, can't there have been a bigger mistake made..?
It works as it is there. I simply feel as if the otherwise strong chapter flatlined there.
It was funny, but also a bit silly. If funny was what you were going for with that letter and reason for getting kicked out, then you have succeeded.
I also feel as if rd said yes to the idea of getting married too quickly. Maybe even just a little more arguing could have made for a stronger scene.
Other than that, I highly enjoyed reading this and look forward to more.
This story is worth the fave and follow. And I also really liked fluttershy in this
6602585
I was showing that the Department of Immigration is sort of like the DMV with all the rules and paperwork involved. The one difference is that the ponies there are sympathetic.
Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with anymore arguments towards Pinkie's idea. Besides, you have to admit that Rainbow was desperate enough to go along with it.
Still, glad you like the story and that you've favorited it. For the record, laughs were a big thing I was going for, seeing as the concept is downright silly to us but major in the MLP world. Of course, there will be more laughs coming, along with some touching romance. Just keep watching.
6602628 laughs and romance are both good. And I already like your work. Here's hoping for more soon then :)
6602628
I probably never would have come up with a plot like this, but bravo. I'm looking forward to seeing the transition from a simple act to true feelings. Assuming that's going to be a thing. And for some reason I didn't realize until now that you were a writer.
... So how did she became captain of the weather team again? And not even a thank you for her years of service.
6602962
Hey, it doesn't matter how good a person is at their job. If they're illegal immigrants, they have to obey the law.
6602951
Oh, it's going to go that way, alright. Of course, seeing as how I'm writing this story by the seat of my pants, it'll take some time.
Gotta say, if you didn't know I was writing stories on Fimfiction, what did you think I mostly did?
6602989
I assumed you just read stiff
6602989
Of course, but if she had filled her immigration form out wrong, how did she get into that position in the first place? You'd expect thorough background checks. And again, not even a thank you? You'd expect this to be told to her personally by the mayor, if not trying to see if anything can be done at least thanking her for her years of service. Instead she gets a rather cold and blunt letter.
Well, I've certainly got a lot to say about this chapter. The only thing that really bothered me, was the beginning part, which I'll start with. So, let's get this started.
There is literally, no pony besides Rarity, who isn't a messy eater.
That didn't stop Twilight from eating so messly in a public restaurant, right in front of the CMC.
In a farm, where everything is by definition, messy. And she certainly doesn't have a problem with showing that in front of Rarity.
But she swallowed a giant 'MMM' cake in one bite, right in front of Princess Celestia.
I could just say, 'they eat like animals because they are animals.' And according to 'Putting Your Hoof Down', they still eat like animals. But that wouldn't mean Fluttershy is a messy eater. That just seems to be saying her reason is flawed.
Anyway, now for the rest of the story.
I think you're missing something here.
Shouldn't there be a break between these two paragraphs?
I don't think Rainbow Dash would say something like that, but I could be missing something so that's just me.
Missing 'that'.
In Equestria, ANYTHING can happen. Even something as silly as this.
Wow... everypony is being such a jerk to Rainbow Dash.
Typo
So the reason Luna becamed enraged with Celestia and transformed into Nightmare Moon, was because of this law being passed on?! ...Okay, maybe not.
Besides that part that bothered me, and ponies being jerks to Rainbow Dash, this was quite funny and enjoyable. I'll be looking forward to more of this.
6604040
Thanks for pointing out the typos, I fixed them. As for the beginning, I was setting it up that Rainbow Dash was pretty much living by herself unlike everyone else, which will be changed big time when she gets married. As for your question about a space between the two lines, you didn't see the line break?
Glad you're enjoying the story. There'll be more coming soon.
6603432
They didn't know her citizenship was invalid until that time Pinkie straightened up the City Hall files for Mayor Mare.
6604336
This is what I see. http://prntscr.com/8zfovk
If there is a line break, then I guess it's dependent on the format.
I realize that's what it was, but it still singles out Rainbow Dash in something that she's not singled in.
6604421
Yeah, it's a formatting error.
Sorry about the example I used, but I didn't really think about the Mane Six's table manners.
Careful what you wish for sucka!!!
Lmao you fucking genuis
Ha, I wasn't expecting a comedy! The montage of Rainbow going around town was hilarious, and Discord's appearance was awesome (and appropriately chaotic).
This is really, really good - going into favourites. I can't wait to read what happens next
What's the plan for releasing chapters? Are you still writing it?
6608182
Well, it varies on how well I can write out each chapter, since I'm more or less doing it by the seat of my pants. However, I do know what I want for the ending.
"I'm next to walk down the aisle!"
Not only did I read that in his voice, but I can imagine the sunny princess he would do it with... :twilight smile:
Great chapter. It shines nicely and made me laugh. I look forward to what comes next.
That wedding was perfect, in that it was pure cringe material.
6610581
Thanks, though if the latest episode is correct, Rainbow Dash no longer holds detestment for Discord in the cartoon.
6610991
Haven't seen it yet, but if it contributes to our stories, then i need to see it
6608182
Of course, I do like that you found the wedding chapter hilarious. Since I had no plans to include Discord in the story, I've been wondering if his appearance is out of place. I guess the only way to remedy that is for him to make an appearance at the end.
Incidentally, considering the FlutterDash/FlutterCord rivalry that's going on, how do you plan to address it in ASOFD?
6611436 As far as planning goes, I'm still on Season 2 for ASOFD, so I don't have any particular thoughts about the later episodes yet (I'm not great at planning that far ahead - my plans usually end up completely changed when I get there)
I'm interested to play around with some possible jealousy when I get around to Keep Calm And Flutter On, as that'll be the first one I get to.
Yep. Have fun taking care of the animals Rainbow. We all know how well that turned out.
But don't worry Rainbow Dash, because now Fluttershy HAS to help you with the weather! And she's never done ANY sort of cloud duties!
Moments later...
"I SAID NOTHING FANCY!"
After what he just did, I demand Discord walks down the aisle with Treehugger!
6620894
That was the joke. I wanted Rainbow Dash to refuse to make a big deal out of this little formality, but Discord, of course, turns it into an authentic wedding ceremony. Of course, as he hinted, there may have been a method behind his madness.
Discord, you are the man for bringing those two to kiss.
And of course, keep on the writing.
6632623
Well, I'm currently working on the third chapter which might take some time as I'm basically winging this story.
I really loved this chapter, and I feel you do a good Discord. Hope to read more! Loving it. I also love awkward stuff in fics, so this chapter really did hit a bullseye. (For me, atleast.)
right I do like your stuff, maybe you could read my books, but I won't take it personally if u don't, I luv ur book
More plz
6782931
Don't worry, more will be coming in the future.
Kk thnx
Gotta admit, Discord doing something for the benefit of someone other than himself is quite the chaotic surprise. Somehow it's so out of character for him that it's perfectly in character o.O well done.
Well so far, this is pretty good! X3 I do like the whole theme of marriage convenience, but slowly becoming real after a while. :D My only real criticism is that you need some punctuation at the end of dialogue bits. It's just something to keep in mind.
Also, don't be afraid to add in a little touch of narrative between dialogue bits. Not every single paragraph needs to start with dialogue. Adding a bit before the character speaks adds a sort of natural pause to even the flow a little bit. Don't worry, you don't have to do this for every paragraph! Again, it's something to keep in mind.
Either way, this was cute so far. X3 I loved Discord's inclusion in this chapter! He was so funny! And when he caught the bouquet, that was so like him! I can see him doing that! XD
I'm definitely looking forward to how this turns out!
I love this story I liked when Discord appeared out of no where.
6925277
Well, apart from adding humor to the scene, I just couldn't see Discord not being there to see Fluttershy get married. Anyway, glad you like what you're seeing so far. The third chapter is currently in the works.
So far, im loving this story
Can't wait for the next chapter!
This is going in my favourites
6925806
Yeah, as you can see, I mostly see Discord as a FlutterDash supporter rather than being in love with Fluttershy. Besides, I think he's better with a certain alicorn princess of the sun.
6925893 THOSE ARE EXACTLY MY VIEWS ON THE MATTER!!
Discord is great with Celestia, and i hate FlutterCord
Shame this seems to be dead, I was really looking forward to seeing what happens next. Are you planning on writing more to it in the future? Or is it officially no longer being worked on, and cancelled?
7516498
Relax, it's still going. I've just hit a bit of a Writer's Block. It'll resume eventually.
Will this be ever continued ?