Seeing as neither parent was in any fit state to tell their daughter about the sudden upheaval that very evening (With Filthy Rich sobbing into his paper, and Spoiled sprawled out on the floor with her tongue hanging out in a most unladylike fashion) The princess and her entourage decided to take it upon themselves to tell Diamond that she'd be moving away for a while.
Twilight did not relish such a discussion, especially with a filly she barely knew. Her memories of Tiara consisted of a far-off cute-cenera she attended where the child acted all high and mighty, and the time the child had gatecrashed a specially organised Twilight Time for the CMC, where she did nothing but smirk as the Crusaders failed at their various tasks. If you'd asked the purple alicorn about Diamond at that same point yesterday, she would have said the filly was a stuck-up, irredeemable bully of the worst kind, the sort that used to pick on her a lot as a youngster, for being a bookish nerd.
But just that very day, two events had happened to completely turn around Twilight's opinion of the filly. For one, Tiara had not only organised the funding of the new school playground via her father when she could have quite easily taken back the reigns of power as class president from an ailing Pipsqueak, she also managed to make possibly the first selfless use of her cutie-mark talent for leadership since she received said symbol. The way she had caroled the other students into assembling the structure in record time, by making use of the same characteristics of the pupils she used to mock was very impressive, and showed a total sea change in maturity for her.
Not to mention, she had managed to get the Princess Of Friendship to help out with the construction too. Twilight was still trying to figure out how the child had accomplished that. Maybe it was down to the fact that (no matter how indirectly) the alicorn felt somewhat responsible for the ruination of the original play equipment, caused by her epic struggle with Tirek. Or, perhaps it was a nice break from sitting around the Crystal Castle all day long, with nothing better to do than twiddling her hooves, and listening to Spike complain about the lack of a decent gem vendor in the neighbourhood. Either way, she had enjoyed being part of the big community effort, and she was sure that if Diamond Tiara continued on her new righteous path, she would make a fine leader one day, perhaps, even mayor.
The second reason the princess felt for the former bully was exactly the reason she'd made the late night call, bad parenting. It was quite late in the evening when Twilight heard from three of her closest friends about what their sisters had told them they'd witnessed over the course of the day. Even during one of the happiest occasions of their lives, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had been more concerned with the mental well-being of their newest pal than the appearance of their long-awaited cutie marks, a true testimony to how thoughtful and decent those three fillies were. After hearing such dire tales, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applejack had all made a bee-line straight to the purple alicorn, and Twilight judged the matter as so serious, she'd wasted no time in rushing down to the Rich mansion within minutes.
Obviously there was no telling what Diamond had had to cope with since she was born, but having received just a small dose of Spoiled's wrath since her arrival, Twilight could see how this kind of treatment day in, day out could impact the psyche of a delicate foal, and make it very hard for them to grow up as a well adjusted individual. If Mrs Rich had really told her daughter non-stop that she was better than everypony else and should act accordingly, then, well, that would explain an awful lot. What a terrible way to raise a filly and an almost guaranteed recipe for ostracizing and loneliness until old age.
Fortunately, by some miracle (and thanks to the timely intervention of the Crusaders) Diamond Tiara had apparently taken the first few steps towards forging a much more promising future for herself, by being herself not the artificial construct her mother had designed, with her father behaving like an accessory to the crime by simply not doing anything. It was now Twilight's job to make sure the progress the filly had made wasn't lost due to the damaging schemes of her control-freak Mom and the only way of doing that, if Spoiled Rich was unwilling to change, was to remove her from the unhealthy environment she was in, at least for a little while.
The princess had prepared for this eventuality for getting all the requisite paperwork, with all the necessary authorities signing in the right columns at very short notice. Twilight didn't want it to come down to having Diamond taken away, she was more than happy to negotiate with the Rich's, set up a meeting with a third party who could have helped aid them to become better parents, allowing them to maintain custody while improving their skills as caregivers. But, faced with Spoiled's unyielding attitude, and Filthy's impassive demeanor, the alicorn felt she had no choice but to utilise the least worse option... Have her relocated for now, but leave enough hope that the parents could get her back someday if they'd actually try to improve themselves.
'I don't think it'll be anytime soon, though.' Mused the princess, as she opened the door to the lounge. She was almost bowled over in the process by one Randolph, who'd taken a peek inside at some point, seen his mistress out for the count, and had, with speed that belied his advancing years, rushed off to grab some smelling salts before running back to revive her.
Also noticeable just in front of the entrance was Diamond Tiara, who grinned sheepishly at the four mares as they emerged. Twilight couldn't help but feel relieved she could tell by looking at the filly's expression she'd been listening in on their 'private' conversation, and this got the alicorn off the hook from having to relay the life-changing news to the child herself.
But, as soon as she stared into those confused, worried eyes which seemed on the verge of tears, the princess couldn't help but feel guilty at her own selfish mindset. For Diamond Tiara, despite all her tough talk and brave facade, was still just a child, and would require the most delicate of treatments at this time if she was to remain unscathed by what was going to happen. Twilight might be a prodigious reader, but she certainly didn't know much about foal-rearing, so, despite feeling empathetic towards the filly in a big way, she had no idea what to say next.
Fortunately, it was Applejack's turn to pick up the slack.
Adjusting her hat, the orange mare addressed the child "So, I guess you heard everything that was said in there?"
Tiara nodded, still with the same unsure gaze, peeking at her father's mini-breakdown and Randolph's failed attempts at waking up Spoiled Rich going on behind the quartet of mares in the other room.
Realising what was going on, Applejack subtly nudged Rainbow Dash, who took the hint, and quickly shut the lounge doors, so as not to stress out the filly even more than the current situation permitted.
"Now, don't you go concerning yourself about your folks. They'll be fine. It's you we need to take care of now." Applejack trotted over to Tiara, and lightly patted her on the head. "Go upstairs and pack some stuff. Not too much, just enough so we can transport it across to the farm."
The three other adults present, along with Diamond herself, all had their jaws fly wide open simultaneously, as if they were exchanging a silent 'what'?!
Recovering her composure for a minute, Twilight stammered "B-but, we haven't planned that far ahead yet! We need to discuss this in more detail, before we..."
"Oh, fiddlesticks to that!!" Applejack quickly shot her down. "It all makes sense. We have closer ties to the Rich's than any other family in Ponyville, and Filthy comes down to the farm at least once a week anyway to discuss business, which would make it much easier to organise supervised visits. Plus, we have a big family who can always watch her when somepony else is busy, and now her and Apple Bloom are getting along, that's removed the only real stumbling block to the idea. Finally, we can always use an extra pair of legs to help out. I hope you're ready to get your manicured hooves dirty, missy!!"
The orange mare gave a friendly wink to Tiara at this juncture, as if she was joking, so why did the pink filly feel she was being completely serious? Uh oh.
Still unsure at this sudden turn of events, Twilight hesitated. "I don't know..."
"Well, let's look at the facts, shall we?" Applejack continued. " Diamond needs somewhere to stay, we're all agreed on that. I can't see her living up with Rainbow Dash in the clouds, and Rarity is rushed off her hooves at the moment, what with her new shop and all. Twi, I know things are quiet for you right now, but you could be called up for your 'Princess' duties at any time. Imagine if Diamond needs you for something urgently, and you're all the way over in Canterlot! Now, with me, even if I am called away by the Cutie Map, we still have Big Mac and Granny Smith to watch her. It's a no-brainer. Leave her with me, sugarcube, I promise to look out for her as long as it takes."
Weighing up all the options in her head, It did make a lot of sense to Twilight. But there was one pony who's opinion they hadn't heard from yet, and her view was the most important of all.
"So Miss Tiara, you've heard Applejack's proposal. It does seem sound to me, and I am tempted to approve it, but tell me, what do you think?" The purple alicorn gently asked the filly.
Diamond's head was in a state of flux. She was still getting to grips with the fact she was going to have to move out of her comfortable mansion that very evening for an indeterminate amount of time. Now, she was being asked if she wanted to live in a decrepit old farmhouse, with somepony who she'd hated until recently, and would probably be expected to do child labour, to boot. Not to mention, the three baths a day she'd have to take, and all the modern creature comforts she'd have to forego.
She couldn't possibly say yes. There was no way on Equestria she could say yes.
And yet, she felt her lips move of their own accord.
"Yes." came her reply.
Oh no!! What had she done?! In her befuzzled state of mind. She'd said the first thing that popped into her head.
And had more or less signed herself up to weeks, possibly months of bad hygiene, back breaking work, and life in the dark ages.
Not to mention, no parents...
Her parents... Oh, no...
That's when she realised for the first time that day, despite the arguments, the fights, and the outright neglect...
She was going to miss them terribly.
As if on cue, the tears started appearing.
No!! This can't be happening!! I'm a Diamond!! I don't break!!
But, those hollow words her mother taught her, proved to be as inaccurate as almost everything else.
Diamond Tiara starting whining unconsciously. That whine became a blub, that blub became a sob...
And that sob...Became a full-on bawlfest.
It was like someone had turned on a faucet, and that faucet was now broken.
The more she tried to stop the flow, the more water seemed to leak out.
How pathetic thought the filly, in the midst of her pity party. And right in front of the Princess, too.
I bet I look like such a loser right now, even Applejack wouldn't want me.
Tiara's mistake, however, was ascribing her mother's beliefs onto other ponies.
And It wasn't too long, before she felt a strange sense of warmth as the aforementioned mares, along with Rarity...
And, with a bit of hesitation, even Rainbow Dash too, had enveloped her into the tightest of hugs.
A completely foreign feeling to the magenta filly, but one she nevertheless enjoyed greatly.
I look forward to the continuing of this fic...
And more hugs, hugs are the best.
You know what kind of scene I would've liked to see?
Filthy Rich stared at the princess who'd come to tear their family apart. Without turning around he called up the stairs:
"Diamond? Get your clothes ready. The princess has decided you belong in an orphanage."
The Alicorn winced. "Now see here..."
"Pack one of your plushies," Filthy Rich continued, "She didn't tell us how long you'll be away."
He looked at his unconscious wife for a second or two, not moving, no changing his expression. "It'll probably be a few days, but that's the time our lawyers will need. Right, princess?"
Twilight and her friends exchanged a glance. "What for?"
"To go through all your friends' backgrounds, of course. Oh, I'm sure we'll not find a single instance of faulty parenting or possibly dangerous neglect. Your friends are much too skilled at raising kids for that to happen." He still wasn't looking at them. Something hard had crept into his eyes. "Because if they were, why, you could find yourself having to order their little sisters be taken away as well. Wouldn't that be a shame?"
The stallion made to leave the room with heavy, ponderous steps. As he passed Twilight, he took the time to whisper to her:
"You threatened my family, princess. You put a knife to my throat. Don't ever put a knife to a Rich's throat unless you're willing to cut deep."
I'm not sure if I should like this fanfic, because it's finally one where Spoiled Rich gets her flank teared open for what she does, or don't like it, because it already sounds like an answer to RarityEQM's fic because you don't liked that one since it's too realistic for you.
I fully expect a fairy tale ending here with Diamond Tiara's mother magically turning over a new leaf and suddenly being a good mother.
6606950
For the fact that you are so eager with criticizing other fics you don't take criticism aimed at your own fic very well.
6624525
And there is always "That One Guy" who even defends someone as disgusting and vile as Spoiled Rich.....
You either never experienced parental abuse or you have the same mindset and are already one of the abusive parents of the future.
6634298 Look, I was in a bad mood that day... I was just disappointed that the story ended as abruptly as it did. I felt there could be more added to it... But hey, that's the author's decision I guess.
My original criticism still stands... But how about... I go over to the Aftermath page, and apologise for maybe being a bit over the top in some of my comments? In fact I'll do that right now. It'll go directly against what my avatar says... But, heigh-ho.
Thanks for reading my story, anyway. Hope you like the rest.
EDIT: Well, I couldn't add anything to the Aftermath story page, so I send our good friend RARITYEQM a grovelling PM instead. Let's hope they get it...
6634329
First off, no, I didn't experience that sort of trouble. But I know folks who did.
Secondly, no, I didn't defend her. I said the way Twilight and her friends acted was bad as it was presented here. Does Spoiled Rich therefore get a pass? No.
Third off, thank you for the personal attack. That really makes me take your seriously.
Or this story, where that's apparently perfectly acceptable.
Addendum: Alright, that last part was unnecessary snark on my part. Apologies to the author.
All things considered, this story probably just isn't one for me.
I really like this fic.
The general story is good, the pacing is very good, but if there is one thing that holds it back from being a great fic, it's the writing style.
I can't really place my hoof on all the little things that go against the general flow, but I would be so bold as to give two advice:
a)Don't do name substitutions. I will quote the writing stule guide on this:
And it really, really does subtract from the reading experience.
b)I would very strongly advise the author to have this fic proofread. Some of the more complicated phrases are quite incorrect, and it really sticks out, interrupting an otherwise very smooth narrative flow.
As I said, this is a very good fic, but it truly has potential to be excellent given some editorial love.
Now that my Internet connection is back I can finally catch up with the fics I missed. But before I read on here, something about this:
That's very unrealistic. Both in general as for Diamond Tiara herself.
An abusive mother, who treats her daughter in the most horrible ways, and a weak father who doesn't really care and is not stallion enough to step in and tame the shrew his wife is..... No child would miss such parents. And every child would be glad to get away from them, even if it's just for a little time.
And before you counter with something like "No, you're wrong, it IS realistic, because..... *insert whatever explanation about the mind of children and how much their parents mean to them in any case*", let me tell you that I know I was.
I know I felt a wave of hope wash over me each and every time the welfare office tried to bring me away from my mother, followed by a wave of despair when my mother pulled again some trick to prevent this from happen.
Coming from an abusive victim himself, this is not how children react when outside forces come to bring them away from their abusive/neglectful parents.
And for Diamond Tiara herself, she showed plenty how much she suffers from her mother and that she has enough of her. She would not hesitate to go either.
It makes sense that Diamond Tiara misses her luxury, a little. But her parents? No. She wouldn't miss them if Twilight would come to take her away because of the abuse. And she would gladly jump at the opportunity of a better life. That's how abused children react.
This part makes your story very cliched (by going with the assumption that children can do nothing but love their parents despite abuse) and unrealistic and if you want to save it from being unrealistic, you should rewrite this part.
6689495
Blood is thicker than water. Like it or not. For good or evil.
Diamond Tiara would be TERRIFIED to basically live Apple Bloom's life... it's pretty much the OPPOSITE of everything she's ever lived! Ask RARITY how she'd feel.
That was a frighteningly good description of what a child in these circumstances tends to go through at the moment of decision (I know - I work in the social care sector).
I find myself wondering if this is the first unconditional love and comfort that Diamond has ever received.
Awww, poor DT can I hug? I wanna hug her.
nice chapter, and good apt description of how a kid would act in this situation.
Part of me just wants to murder Spoiled right now... None of you would stop me, right?
6719865 go nuts man.
6719865
I'm fairly sure that the majority of people already came to a series of agreements involving murder...
Ugh, Filthy Rich deserves a boot to the head or two for being meek. While I can understand him being overworked, I honestly don't understand why he won't stand up to the fucked up bitch who dared call DT a project. This "high society" bullshit proves that Spoiled Bitch had family in the Canterlot and Manehatten nobility. And yes, I lighten up the filter when I'm really pissed at someone.
6737850 he was probobly at the brunt of an abusive relesionsip and felt he couldent
6738010
Then he needs to take what steps are required to prove that he is the man of the house, and that he WILL be respected as he does his good work in evening things out. Letting that weak-willed self-absorbed bitch run amok just makes him a pussy and neglectful of his daughter.
........
This was the FIRST TIME Diamond's been hugged?????!!!! That misbegotten, unnatural creature, dares call herself a mother?!?!
6805290 I've alerted the Ordo Malleus, and they will begin Exterminatus in a few weeks.
6805290
Diamond's mother in a nutshell, ala Mr. Krabs.
6738010 I totally agree here, its possible that he himself is stuck in the relationship, while its commmon to see women as the victims of this sorta problem, it does happen to men as well. Particularly once you get used to it as he has it sounds like. Just slamming the guy seems pretty unfair.
I'm interested in seeing where this is going, but I'm really concerned with the pacing here. By her own admission, Twilight has a pile of hearsay and about five minutes of experience all centered around Diamond turning against years of misbehavior. There's no way she knows enough about what's going on to make a call this huge.
>> 6929436 You might just change your mind, when you read some of the future chapters about some of the things experienced by a certain filly. We're not just talking about a one-off incident, but systematic abuse. Twilight may know more than you think. I won't spoil anything now...
6737850 I dunno, maybe because the law would normally side with anything the mother said, if he tried to do anything? Threaten a man with divorce, the loss of half of everything he has and the loss of custody of his child, and he'll knuckle under. Slow and steady browbeating, over the course of years....
the first real problem just came up. if this is the same night as the CMC getting their marks then yeah the Mane 6 are over the line. However if Diamond was a week in her punishment then they got cause.
6952348 It was just my theory that Twilight would act before things got any worse.
Besides, this isn't just about that day, but years of systematic abuse that made DT who she is...
6857070 That's so sad. :(
"... and showed a total sea change in maturity for her."
Sea Change? DANGIT I SHOULD'VE LOOKED FOR CHANGE IN THE WATER AT OAK ISLAND LAST WEEK!
(Seriously tho, typo alert. I believe you meant "sea OF change")
7101414
Google is your friend.
6628126 Feels out of character for Filthy Rich, like you're trying to ascribe the traits of the dad from Taken onto him. Or Wilson Fisk. Filthy isn't a mob boss, and he isn't a Corrupt Corporate Executive. He wouldn't stoop that low.
Plus, against a Princess, that's not really a threat. Since you're accusing Twilight of acting out of character, Twilight could easily just have anyone thrown at her arrested on charges of conspiracy to commit child abuse by keeping Diamond with Spoiled.
But you're entitled to your opinion. That's all I'm going to say on the matter. I hope I wasn't insulting.
Somehow, I don't think farm work is going to be the worst thing Diamond has to deal with.
she had caroled Did you mean [cajoled] ???????
I suspect that Spoiled might have NPD in some way shape or form or was herself as a child in an abusive relationship. Not defending her actions by any means, just pointing out my suspicions on why she is the way she is.
Also, I have to agree with several other commenters that the way the situation was handled on Twilight's end was less than ideal, for one Princess or no, I would think that it would take time to get the paperwork filed and not magically handled in <30 minutes as the story seems to imply. Second off, where's Flutters and Pinkie in this? I get that they might not have been there for the initial reveal by AJ, RD, and Rarity, but for such a monumental decision I think all should have been involved. Finally, Equestria or Earth, I don't think that AJ should just be able to say, "you're coming with me kid" and off they go, in fact, the whole thing shouldn't have happened the way it did, send them a letter, get Celestia's input, but unless DT was in serious physical danger (like in some other fics I've read) then they could or should run into some legal consequences for their albeit well-intentioned rescue mission. In any case, I'll keep reading out of interest to the suspense factor, and it's always fun to see Spoiled Rich get her just desserts.
6857070
quite unexpected but good story
Hahahaha. I'm sorry this is funny it's funny because it's on top of being wrong stupid. It has the optimism of someone who doesn't know what they're talking about and hoping everything works out at the end. But I guess this is My Little pony matches up.
Okay I can believe the weird laws on taking people's kids because they yell at them and the short amount of time without in the child protective services professionals. But I can't believe that they're just going to Green light this tossing them over to one of them the main six. Not only would he widely been in responsible to have the kids in the same area that you took them for it's silly in the means the whole point of diamond can just be like I'm going to go home. You quite literally did not remove them from the bad influence when the person can see the kid in the street.
Bullshit this is that movie logic they never ask the kid where you want to go. The scope out the kids reaction to the person. To make sure the person safe but they never mean it in the choice you get to choose to stay with them or not.