Chapter 6: Happy Ending
Fluttershy was on the balcony of Sugarcube Corner, waiting for Pinkie Pie to arrive. After that wonderful talk they had with each other at the picnic, they decided to stay together forever, and–
"Uh... M-Miss narrator?" Fluttershy said to me. Wait, what?
"I don't wanna be rude, but, uh, I think it was clear that we decided to start a serious relationship in the last chapter. You don't need to recap that."
Uh... Fluttershy? H-How do you know about me?! A few chapters ago and you didn't even know how to spell 'bronies'!
"Well, Pinkie told me about you. I don't know how I couldn't hear you before, but she taught me!"
Sorry, but... You weren't supposed to know that I existed in the first place. This is the exact reason why you couldn't hear me.
"Oh my, I-I'm sorry... I'm going to pretend I didn't talk with you, okay?" she asked in a nervous tone.
Great. Remember, not even a word to Pinkie. She's the worst when it comes to fourth wall breaks... Speaking of the devil, she's coming right now. Bye!
"Well, the cake's finished baking, so I'm ready to tell the girls!" Pinkie said, super enthusiastic.
"Oh, that's great! I can't wait to tell them about the good news! Though, I have to say I’m a bit nervous..." Fluttershy admitted.
"Aw, c'mon now, Flutters. We've been through this already!" Pinkie said.
"I know, I know! But, what if they don't like the idea of us being a couple now? What if someone else liked one of us? What if-"
"Now, now, Flutters, calm down," Pinkie said while petting Fluttershy. "They're our friends! They'll give us support, no matter what! Remember, friendship is magic!"
"So is love!" Fluttershy said quietly.
"There's the Fluttershy I know and love!" Pinkie gave her a bear hug. "C'mon! We need to go to the jewelers to get our ornaments! Follow aunt Pinkie!"
Fluttershy sighed.
"I'm a year older than you..."
"Twilight, darling, have they told you the exact reason why they got us here?" Rarity asked. The rest of the group was kept waiting at the center of the town on the request of Pinkie and Fluttershy. They told the group that they had an important announcement to give them, but, by the looks of it, they weren't coming anymore. Well, at least in Rarity's and Rainbow's points of view.
"Yeah, Twi! We've been waiting for them for a long time now! I'm hungry!!" Rainbow complained.
"Can't y’all just shut up?" Applejack said, growing annoyed at the complaining ponies "It hasn't even been ten minutes!"
"Applejack's right," Twilight said. "Also, no Rarity, they didn't say anything about it other than it's something really important."
Twilight then noticed a yellow and pink figure next to an entirely pink one approaching them.
"Besides, they're already here!" Twilight pointed them out to the other girls.
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie came into view, wearing some kind of earrings only on one ear each. Fluttershy's one was shaped like three balloons, two blue ones in the corners and one yellow in the center, with strings of opposite colors. Pinkie's one was shaped like three, pink butterflies, with aqua-colored bodies and antennas. There was a yellow feather hanging from Pinkie's earring, too.
The girls couldn't say anything; only stare at those pieces in their ears.
"Oh my sweet Celestia!" Rarity gasped. "These earrings are beautiful! Where did you get them?"
"Uh, why are they shaped like your cutie marks?" Rainbow Dash asked, completely confused.
"Well, uh... we... we kinda... uh..." Fluttershy tried to say something.
"Sorry for the whole waiting, we kinda got late to get our special somepony ornaments!" Pinkie answered.
"SPECIAL SOMEPONY ORNAMENTS?!" the other four girls shouted.
Pinkie Pie smiled and winked to Fluttershy. It was her turn to talk.
"Uh... Yeah! We're dating now!" she admitted. "Isn't it... great?"
The other girls didn't say a word. They were still processing the image of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie as a couple.
Fluttershy lowered her head, sadly.
"Oh, I knew you wouldn't like it..." Fluttershy sighed.
"Are you kidding me?" Twilight finally spoke it out. "This is some of the best news ever!"
"REALLY?!" Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy shouted in unison."
"Of course, sugarcube!" Applejack said. "We're mighty happy for ya!"
"You two are the most adorable couple I've ever seen! And those special somepony ornaments of yours are simply divine!" Rarity confessed.
"Whoa, is that your real feather Fluttershy?" Rainbow asked in curiosity, pointing at Pinkie's ornament.
"But of course!" Fluttershy answered. "It's tradition for pegasi to give one of their own feathers to their special somepony as an expression of loyalty and devotion to their partners."
"You know, I wish I had wings so I could give a feather to you, Flutters..." Pinkie said, while giving a sad look at her back.
"You don't have to, Pinkie! That's what the ornaments are for!" Twilight explained.
"She's right, Pinks!" Fluttershy said, with a hint of confidence in her voice as she said her marefriend's just invented nickname ,I love you the way you are!"
The other girls couldn't help but let out a big "Aaaw!"... All except Rainbow.
"Look, I don't wanna break the whole 'emotional vibe' going on, but, I'm getting more hungry..." Rainbow complained. "PLEASE tell me that you're thinking of celebrating at Sugarcube Corner."
"Exactly!" Pinkie answered. "We already have everything ready there. We only came here to share the big news and invite you to the party!"
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's party!" Rainbow Dash cheered.
"YEAH, WOOHOO!" everypony cheered.
"Are you ready for the time of your life, Flutters?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"I've always been!" Fluttershy answered.
And with that, the six girls trotted to Sugarcube Corner, to celebrate a unity of eternal happiness.
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This was a good read. (Though a bit too short
) Fantastic first story though! Looking forward to seeing your work again 
.
6579558 Thanks!
And, well, I actually wanted this to be a short story. In fact, I wanted to be even shorter, with just one or two chapters, but I decided to split the events in different chapters. 
No, I'm pretty sure that it's "on the balcony". I didn't say anything the first time, but "in" doesn't make sense.
"did they tell you" or "have they told you". Pretty sure of that.
But back to the story. I liked it. It was fun. Very simple, but cute and as said: I like cute. Heck, I'm watching my little pony... I think the biggest strenght of the story is its simplicity. No big conflict, no huge explosions, just the quiet and happy flow of life.
I'm not a fan of the characters adressing the narrator, or at least not of the narrator responding to the characters, but that's a matter of taste. Once again, I could feel you had fun writing it and, I have to admit, having Fluttershy being able to speak with the narrator too was a good idea. I hadn't seen it yet.
I also really like the little world building at the end, with the idea of a pegasus giving a feather, and the ornaments exchange. Simple and cute.
I had fun reading your story. For a first try, it's almost impressive (and I say almost because I'm jealous
).
Well done. I can only encourage you to find an efficient way to correct the english mistakes, because it can make a lot of readers go away, which would be shame because I think they would appreciate the story otherwise. But I don't really have any solution to propose...
Still, keep on having fun, you've got talent: exploit it.
I wouldn't go that far. I only pointed out a few and I'm not even very good with grammar myself. As said: I don't have any good solution to propose in that regard.
For example:
"but it still wasn't enough."
"struggled"
"writing"
"DEFINITELY" (says reverso...)
"always" (most of your always were written "aways" for some reason)
I remember that one. "together". And there are at least two occurences.
There are probably some left (I confirm, I just saw two). I mean, an english speaker could actually discuss how some sentence are phrased, like:
I'm really not sure if "they would say it all" is the correct formulation for what you want to say there. And by that, I mean I'm really really not sure. Reverso (yeah, I'm using it a lot) tells me that the expression can be defined sort of as follows:
"If you say that something says it all, you mean that it shows you very clearly the truth about a situation or someone's feelings." (http://dictionary.reverso.net/english-cobuild/say%20it%20all)
So it might not mean "they would tell each other everything" like I think you wanted to say.
But at the same time, it might mean just that... I'm not competent enough to know with certainty.
I'm sorry to have to say that I didn't correct all the little mistakes, and even more that I cannot correct all the little mistakes (as said, I'm not an english speaker). I'm just some guy passing by, enjoying the cute story and doing what I can until someone more competent comes.
If it can help, here is a group of proofreaders on fimfiction:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group
I never tried to contact them (for personal reasons), but it might be worth trying for you. Who knows?
I didn't see this get added.
I must read it, for science.
Science has been done.
It was cute.
I liked it.
6592886 I aprove your scientific matters!
6593904 this is Wolfkid9963 approved.
No, even better, FedEx approved.
6596636 "You rock! Woohoo"" -
6598172
"Yaaaaaay~!"
6867385 Yup, it's supposed to be funny. I don't really mind if the fandom thinks that she does know how to break the 4th wall, but she doesn't do that all the time!
This was really cute
Fourth wall breaks may not be something I like, but having Fluttershy learn how to do it at the end was actually really clever. Nice one on that
Was this your first story ever, or just your first pony story? Either way, it's impressive. Right now the best thing you can do is get an editor.
On to the next story, which features a ship I actually like
6883824 Thanks!
This may not be the first story I created, but it is the first story that I actually wrote and put efort on to it ever. Yes, I know my grammar isn't really great, but considering I'm from another country, it's not really bad. I know how to write stories with propper grammar in my language, though. 
See you in my next story!
6884747
You managed to avoid all the most frustrating new author problems, which made me think you probably had experience writing elsewhere. Instead I'm guessing you pay a lot of attention to what you read, and probably read a lot. You totes have a lot of talent at this, keep it up
And indeed, your English is better than a lot of native speakers. You have a good understanding of the rules of grammar, it's more that in some places individual words were conjugated incorrectly (a super easy mistake when going from one language to another) and the format you used for quotes (using hyphens for said tags) was incorrect, although most people don't actually know how to do that properly.
I don't mean to harp on your grammar though. It really wasn't a big problem to me. But my offer to edit stands if you ever want to take me up on it
6886102 Well, yeah, I do read a lot, I love reading!
I did learn english on my own though, and I'm still learning. My inspiration comes from my great grandfather, who's a book writer. 
Oh, my! I would love to see this story edited! I acept your offer!
I like the plot behind this and I totally support the ship. But I think your delivery has a lot to be desired. And you kind of overused the fourth wall gag. You gotta learn to be more moderate with it. Otherwise it just ruins the whole gaga. Personally, this felt more like a one shot broke up into multiple short chapters.