This looked easier on paper.

by TheOctoWriter

Chapter 9- Now let's go!... to the Northern Mountains?!

"So... where do you guys wanna go now?" Spike asked looking at the map.

"Let's go to the Northern Mountains!" Sunset said enthusiastically.

"But why there? It's so cold and rocky there..." Spike said complaining.

"No buts! I wanna go!" Sunset said.

"But sunsettttttt..." Spike whined.

"Are you telling me you two aren't gentlemen? That you're just heartless monsters?" Sunset said curtly.

"We aren't men at all."

"That's not the point Spike. How dare you refuse a mare's request!" Sunset said, giving Spike a sad look.

"Ughhh... Fine." Spike groaned in defeat.

"You fat flank." Spike whispered.

"What was that?" Sunset asked, her horn glowing with magic.

"Nothing dear..." Spike replied back in a high pitched mocking tone.

"That's what I thought." Sunset said as she trotted ahead.

"Ughhh... Gummy. Can you believe her?" Spike cried out in annoyance.

Gummy just continued ahead.

"C'mon dude! At least give me some input! Don't leave me hanging!" Spike said in frustration.

Then he noticed that they were starting to left him behind.

"Hey guys wait up!" Spike yelled out as he ran a little to catch up with them.

"Whoa look at all that snow!" Spike said as he pointed to the approaching mountains.

"Cool!" Sunset said excited.

"Hmmm...Interesting." Gummy said somewhat lost in thought.

What they didn't know what that they were being watched.

"Call Dragon Lord Birax!"

"The lost hatchling returns!" A dragon standing guard said to a commander.

"I request a council with Lord Birax!" Commander Naraxus bellowed.

"Oh what grounds?" A Council Dragon asked.

"The lost hatchling has returned..." Naraxus stated.

"You must tell the Dragon Lord immediately..." The Council Dragon said.

The Council Dragon knocked.

"Enter..." Lord Birax said his deep voice echoing throughout his throne room.

"My lord, the lost hatchling has returned!" The Council Dragon said.

"Impossible! He was lost with several others!" Lord Birax roared out.

"No my lord, the commander has seen him with his own eyes!" The Council Dragon said.

"Bring him to me." Lord Birax commanded.

"Right away, mi lord!" The Council Dragon said as he went outside.

"The Dragon Lord wants to see you." The Council Dragon say.

"Thank you Elder Dragon Corthulax." Commander Naraxus said as he entered.

"So the Council Dragon tells me that the lost hatchling has returned..." Lord Birax began.

"Yes mi lord. That's why I request a Council. To discuss what our next actions should be." The Commander said somewhat nervous.

"Granted. I and the Council would like to hear this." Lord Birax said.

5 minutes later...

"We have gathered here today to discuss the whereabouts of the lost hatchling." Lord Birax stated.

"Commander, tell us what you saw." Lord Birax inquired.

"I saw the lost hatchling, he was with a pony and a alligator!"

"And you are sure he doesn't remember anything..." Lord Birax questioned.

"No mi lord. He was happily chatting with them. I dare say he was even friends with those two!" The commander cried out in horror.

Mummers and gasps of shock were heard.

"Lord Birax what should we do?!" The commander asked.

"Silence!" The Dragon Lord commanded.

The noise and background chatter stopped.

"We will slowly guide him back to his true nature." Lord Birax said.

"This meeting is now finished! Now be gone!" Lord Birax roared out as everydragon left.

Lord Birax went back to his throne room lost in thought.

What happened to you Yivgornux? Why did you forsake the Dragon's path? Lord Birax wondered.

Spike continued on his merry way up the mountains with his friends.

"Whoa guys! Look at that!" Spike said as he pointed out a dragon flying overhead.

"Heh heh! Y'know I almost thought that was a real dragon. Silly tourist attraction and their gimmicks." Spike said laughing a little.

The dragon then roared spotting them and began to fly down towards them.

"Not a gimmick guys! DEFINITELY NOT A CHEAP TOURIST ATTRACTION!" Spike yelled as he ran for his life.

"Ahhh!" The trio yelled out as the dragon started getting closer.

The dragon shot fireballs at them.

"SPIKE DO SOMETHING!" Sunset yelled out in a panic almost getting hit by a fireball.

"I DUNNO! KEEP RUNNING!" Spike said as he ran even faster narrowly avoiding a fireball that impacted itself on a nearby rock,

"Look! We can hide in that cave!" Gummy said pointing to a cave that was hanging on the lower slope of the mountain.

They all ran for their lives into the cave.

Sunset used her magic to block off the entrance to the cave with mountain rocks.

"What do we do now?" Sunset asked.

"I dunno. Are we trapped here?" Spike said.

"Let's explore this cave, maybe there's a way out." Gummy said as he lit his lantern.

Spike did the same.

They walked down the cave under they managed to stumble across a rock mound surround by a underground spring.

The light from the outside cast a faint glow on the object that rested on the rock mound.

A old tome rested there.

"Can anyone read what that says?" Spike said as he held up the tome for the rest to see.

"I think so, it appears to be a older unicorn language. Let me try to translate it." Sunset said as she read the contents.

"The title of the book says "The Dragon's Way." Sunset said.

"Wonder what that could-"

"Spike, are you okay?! What's going's on!" Sunset asked frightened.

Spike didn't respond as his eyes begun glowing a bright green.

He was lifted into the air by a unseen but ancient and powerful magical force.

Light begun to pour out of this body.

It was so bright that Sunset and Gummy had to shield their eyes.

"Sunset! Get away from him! Who's know's what he'll do when he wakes up!" Gummy said watching in horror as Sunset trotted closer towards Spike.

"It's like Princess Twilight warned us about! We have to get out of here now!" Gummy said, as he worried for their safety.

"We don't know that for sure!" Sunset argued back.

Spike's childhood flashed before his eyes.

The Dragon language begun to spew out of his mouth incredibly fast.

Spike even remembered his mother carrying him, how his fellow dragons would pillage and destroy, taking whatever they wanted.

He had remembered their savage bloodlust and thirst for riches.

The Dragon part of Spike was taking over

The old Spike, the one raised by ponies was fading away.

But before Spike was forced to submit to his instincts.

He had one final rational thought.

Forgive me my friends... Spike thought.

The dragons had sensed this.

"Mi Lord, Yivgornux has regained his lost memories. He has realized his true nature."

"Excellent..." Lord Birax said.

Spike fell to the ground causing dust to kick up.

Sunset and Gummy waited for the dust to clear, nervous about who or what was on the other side.

Comments

[Yalwin Khales]

6628919 How about having more than 1 chapter be over 2,000 words long?

Having every chapter be around 1,100-1,500 words long is too short, you'd be better off combining several chapters together to create a better flow in your story.

This is a multi-chaptered story, chapters should have their own self-contained scenes as it were. They should have meaningful conclusions, or good cliffhangers to help readers along as they transition from chapter to chapter. Having chapters being too short just messes with their immersion, and that is among the worst things you can do to readers.

[TheOctoWriter]

6631998 Thank you for the feedback. I will combine short chapters from now on so the immersion isn't broken.