• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 26th, 2022

DragonShadow


The home of the Shadowbolts Adventures and various other stories, mostly related to Equestria Girls.

Sequels1

T

This story is a sequel to Shadowbolts Adventures: I Crush You


Indigo Zap used to be kind of a bully, she can admit as much, but when a new girl transfers into Crystal Prep who seems to be targeting her, she gets firsthand experience on what it's like to spend every morning dreading going about your daily life.

Rated T for mild language

You know the drill, thanks to Bootsy Slickmane for pre-reading and cover-art.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 50 )

That was brilliant.

While the idea of a native Sunset is not new, you took it in a unique direction that I haven't seen before and ran with it. The more serious mood of the story worked in its favor, because it lets the effects of the bullying sink in much more effectively than if it had been played for laughs. The danger human Sunset posed was very well established, and that last scene with her was actually legitimately scary. The tension was palpable!

Man, now you've got me anxious for the Crystal Prep girls though. Sunset has never made idle threats, and this is not going to be an exception. Especially since her pride has been wounded. Equestrian Sunset's warnings combined with her human version's last words make for some heavy foreshadowing. We've already seen what her casual bullying has done to them- I shudder to think what a serious attack would bring.

"It looks like her hair!" This made me laugh though. xD

I want moar! Please make this a multi-chapter!

This is great, more please

I agree, especially if you have Sunset vs. Sunset.

Her chest was heaving by the she finished, her hands drooping inside of her boxing gloves as her shoulders slumped.

You are missing a word.

That was awesome!

I definitely agree with this fic on how the human Sunset is going to act should she ever show up. She'd basically be the old Sunset who bullied and tormented the students at CHS. Though, for originality sake, there should be some key differences. Like how human Twilight is meek, sensitive, and eager to have friends as opposed to Princess Twilight.

I like this. I like this a lot. If this Sunset Shimmer were to appear, this is probably what she'd act like. Showing the effects of her bullying is an interesting touch, and now I wanna see what comes next. I hope you do more of this!

Sunset Shimmer could poke and prod at her all she wanted, but making her friend cry was far, far more than she was willing to put up with.

This is my exact feelings. You can say whatever shit you want towards me and time and time again I'll brush it off, even when it's old; mess with my loved ones- friend and family both- shit will go down :rainbowdetermined2:

6592359

Thank you for telling me. I have fixed it.

6592874

Shadowbolts Adventures is an ongoing series, with more definitely to come. As to when Sunset Shimmer will return... time will tell.

6593191 I'd best keep watch, then! :pinkiehappy:

This was great! There were a few errors here and there, but nothing huge. I very much liked your characterization of Lemon Zest (my favorite of the Shadowbolts); she still had a somewhat tomboy attitude, but was very much the Blue Oni to Indigo's Red Oni, and I loved it. Loved the message at the end, as well. Great work!

You published this on the 23rd and I'm only seeing it now? Dang, I'm slipping, :trixieshiftleft:

Gonna have to follow you now so that doesn't happen again, :trollestia:

Halfway through, and I'm screaming for the Shadow Five to sing a "Helping Twilight Win the Crown Routine." :pinkiecrazy:

6594071

Nah, you're not slipping. That's the date it was uploaded to the site, which was a week ago. I have each episode written 1 week in advance, partly for my own comfort, and partly so that Bootsy Slickmane has time to conceptualize and draw the cover art. So you didn't miss anything, this was only Submitted last night.

Well written and told. Makes me wonder if this Sunset will see the light, or if the 5 just get out of there. You know i don't see it too far fetched if they transferred out of CPA. Either way I shall have to wait for more. Thanks again for the great story. :twilightsmile: :pinkiehappy:

Interesting story. What the Shadowbolts seem to be missing here is that Sunset is just a dog, Cinch is holding the leash. Ideally they should find some way to get Cinch fired, but that's probably really hard. Making Sunset feel ashamed of complaining to Cinch is a good first step, the next step is probably trying to drive a wedge between the two.

Sunset is incredibly smart, so human Sunset probably is too, and her perfect grade point average is quite possibly earned honestly. But if evidence surfaced that Sunset was not only cheating, but doing it badly in a way that would come out even if Cinch did her best to cover it up... well Cinch would drop human Sunset like a hot potato.

I just discovered this series of fics today, and I can't tell you how much I love it! :pinkiehappy: It's the series I never knew I wanted, but now that I know of it I want more. Awesome job, and keep it up!

Very nice stories. FG didn't really give us much on these girls, I like the characterization you've given them. Alternate way of dealing with this Sunset Shimmer; over-concern. Go out of your way to give in to her demands, all the while going on about how brave she is, handling her confidence issues on her own. Ask teachers during classes she's in about possible therapies, talk about how caring Cinch is to bring in such a 'damaged' student (not to Shimmer, but where she can hear), etc. Then step back and watch her detonate as the gossip spreads...:flutterrage:

There's a reason I never had problems with bullies in school.:moustache:

6610345 You would have been my God at school. 6' 6" and a gentle hermit made an excellent target, aparrently.

6613991 Really? I found being 6' 2" since 6th grade helped. They might have tried messing with the fat kid if he hadn't out-massed most of the football team...:eeyup:

This is the first Shadowbolts story I've ever been able to really get into. Some writers don't seem to know what to do with them; they wind up two-dimensional stereotypes (which is sort of what they are in the movie). But you have fleshed them out and shown their feelings for each other.

Going after Lemon Zest really burned my biscuits. As many before me have pointed out, Lemon Zest may not have been "nice" in the movie, but she really was the only one who wasn't intentionally obnoxious to anyone. This has endeared her to me as my favorite Shadowbolt (aside from Sci-Twi, whose pathetic slave I am).

My only complaint is that Good Sunset should have just shown up in the lunch line one day before Bad Sunset got there. Then when she tried to butt into line...she'd already be there! MWA-HA-HA!!!

6614142

Thank you. "Shadowbolts Adventures" is an ongoing series, with several more entries you can already find in my profile, if you're interested in reading more of these characters. I hope you enjoy them.

Is it wrong i was hoping human sunset would actually take a swing at indigo

6614175 Thank you. I'll check them out.

This story is good and interesting. However, I think Native Sunset was underutilize. She was nothing more than a bland bully character that seems very immature and childish. You could have put in another bully character and the story would mostly remain the same. If you decide to put the human version of Sunset within your story, you need to do something a bit more interesting with the idea. But it's still a good story that I'm happy to put in my bookshelf.

6617841

This was an introduction. Her story isn't over yet, and neither are the Shadowbolts Adventures.

This...This fic hit home. A lot. I went through something like this, well, except I was only a kid but she was malicious. I was actually afraid to go to recess because she would always single me out. It hurt. I mean, I was once like Pinkie Pie. I made friends with everyone. That...was one of the reasons why I'm kind of a shut in nowadays. The effects of Sunset's bullying felt so real and believable. Kudos.

Which is why it was so satisfying to see her bike get wrecked. :rainbowkiss: Pony/Sunset is my favorite character, besides Pinkie Pie, but this human version deserves everything coming to her. Keep up the great work. :heart:

"Who... who are you? What are you?"

"Me...? I'm you, Sunset Shimmer. I'm the reflection of your very highest best potential and an echo of the absolute manifestation of the worst thing you could be. Depending on the choices you make, I'll be an angel or a demon. I could be your new very best friend or, if you are as foolish as I was once before my... enlightenment... I'm going to be your worst ever nightmare!"

Wow, when Sour Sweet said that her hair reminded her of a tiger, I was truly shocked that it wasn't BACON!!!!


But, really, nice story. Something similar happened to my little brother a few years back, he wasn't like Indigo or Lemon, he was more of one of the other Shadow 5. But this played out almost exactly as it did for him, and some of his friends were put in the position of Indigo and Lemon. My point is, you did a REALLY great job of conveying a real life situation!

Well, except for the fact that it was basically resolved by that person's counterpart from another world telling you her exact weaknesses, but STILL! XD

6624102

You comments are gold!

Lemon Zest sniffled and wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of one hand. "I-I guess she saw me and Vinyl at the park yesterday..." She sniffled with a soft blush on her cheeks, her eyes drifting to the floor. "She... she said... I might as well drop out of high school now... because nobody will hire a dyke like me anyway..."

:twilightangry2::flutterrage::twilightangry2::flutterrage:

Oh, human Sunset is such a bitch, I can't decide if I ever actually want her to be redeemed or not.

I have to say, I did not particularly care for this story, which is a shame as I was enjoying the series up until this point. The Lemon Zest/Vinyl ship felt like it came out of nowhere; sure, they interacted in the first story in this series, but I didn't interpret it as anything romantic. But that's not really the big problem with this story, it's that after several story of crazy comedy, with the one just before this possibly being the zaniest yet, the series abruptly goes into serious mode. It's very unwelcome, and while the lack of a comedy tag is a bit of a tip-off, I still didn't expect everything to be played this seriously. After all, the story immediately preceding this one had Little Strongheart chase Sour Sweet off with a tomahawk. That level of zaniness being followed by this level of seriousness doesn't work very well.

It looks like the series returns to its comedic roots in the following stories, so maybe this was just a temporary hiccup, but it definitely wasn't a turn I liked.

6660378

While I understand that some people don't like episodes that break the typical mood of a given series, I'm really not pushing myself to make every single episode feel the same. I will write each episode the way it feels like it needs to be written for the plot to feel satisfying. If that means delving into more serious territory, or even writing it completely and utterly straight, that is what I will do.

As for Lemon/Vinyl, I actually did consider for a while writing a "getting together" story, but I decided against it for multiple reasons.

1: It would come off as horribly cliche.
2: It wouldn't be very funny or dramatic, it would just be there.
3: Any moral lessons I put into it would just be be brushed off as a heavy-handed agenda.

And besides, I prefer the idea that two characters can just meet, even two girls, and get together without some big conflict or melodrama. Not everything has to be an "event". I hope you don't mind them too much, because they're not going away. And neither is the occasional spot of drama.

In any event, thank you for reading and enjoying the series, and thank you for your honest opinions on the matter.

This is fantastic as always, and I do believe the more serious tone helped with that a lot. Great work, and it'll be interesting to see how Sunset retaliates in time... :twilightoops:

Another nice one, although the ending felt just a tad bit abrupt.

Impressive. I love the friendship you have going for Zap and Zest, plus the native Sunset as a unique amalgamation of her counterpart's darkest natures. And, of course, words speaking louder than actions.

Along with Jay the Brony, you're an excellent Shadowbolt writer. Keep it up!

Good story, as any other one in the serie by the way :twilightsmile:

I'm worried to see Sunset retaliation, enchanted crown or not...

One my Fave Story of Indgo Zap this story show how much she change sic the Friendship Games Movie

I know you said you're not a fan of TV Tropes, DragonShadow, but I just have to do this.

Crowning Moment ofโ€ฆ
* Awesome - Indigo Zap's deconstructing speech to Human Sunset Shimmer.
* Funny - Sour Sweet comparing Human Sunset Shimmer's hair to a tiger.
* Heartwarming - Indigo Zap comforting Lemon Zest in the girl's bathroom.
* Nightmare Fuel - Human Sunset Shimmer's ear-piercing scream at the crowd.
* Tear Jerker - Lemon Zest crying from an insult by Human Sunset Shimmer.

Omfg Indigo be savageeee. #roasted

MJP

Um, just so this story doesn't get confusing, I have in idea >>DreagonShadow

so, in the flash there is an alternate universe plot, and this guy comes in from that alternate universe, who was a villain in the main universe, but is not in the alternate universe, they call the native one Harrison, and the one from the AU, Harry

so, my point is is that we call Pony Sunset Shimmer Sunset, and call human Sunset Sunny or Shim

Ooh. Sunset thinks Rainbow is awesome! :raritystarry: also all the other Crystal Prep girls were the EQ girls matches, but none of them were exactly like the EQ girls except for Rainbow Dash. I guess the only person who could truly take Rainbow Dash down is someone like herself...

Sunset Shimmer smirked back. "Oh believe me, I'm great at ticking people off when I want to."

I'm a big fan of Sunny reluctantly keeping "Old Sunset," ready under the surface in case she has need of those talents once more.

I'd probably do things different with the text convos - little indications here and there as to who's texting, like in normal conversation, as when you have rapid-fire lines like that it can sometimes be easy to lose track of who's "speaking."

7576128 I love that idea as well - I like the concept of someone keeping the better parts of an otherwise dark past, as even those dark pasts tend to have their useful traits (confidence and social savvy for Sunset). I feel the same way about how Flutterbat is apparently something Fluttershy keeps in mind, albeit she only draws on that "ponysona" during specific situations.

Sunset raised one eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest. "Yeah, that's my name. I just transferred in today. Who are you, exactly?"

Yep, that's definitely the human sunset shimmer alright. :ajbemused:

"Well can you come tell her not to be a huge jerk or something?"

Bad idea. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

"Indigo Zap, please report to the principal's office."

Yeah, it's obvious why she's being called there. ๐Ÿ™„

"She has a perfect grade-point average, an IQ of 160, and her very presence in this school will help us regain some of the reputation we lost after a certain group of students damaged our reputation at the hands of Canterlot High in a tie." Principal Cinch leaned forward over her desk, resting her elbows on the wood and her chin on her hands. "So, Indigo Zap... do you have something to say to Sunset Shimmer?"

She should really just let that go already just because they didn't win. :twilightangry2:

"I know comprehension probably isn't your strong suit..." Sunset folded her arms as she approached, stopping beside her. "So let me make it as obvious as possible. Mess with me again and you're out of this school permanently."

Sometimes I forgot how much of a bitch (pony) sunset was when she was still a bully.

"Principal Cinch has had it out for us five ever since we turned on her at the Friendship Games," Sugarcoat pointed out simply. "She blames us personally for the resulting loss of reputation the school suffered."

That bitch! :flutterrage:

"We all have to tread really lightly around there now, she'll take any excuse to expel the lot of us." Sunny Flare added, turning to face Indigo. "You're really lucky this happened in a crowded lunchroom full of witnesses. She couldn't expel you without also expelling her."

Ouch :fluttershyouch:

" It looks like her hair !"

Her hair looks more like bacon than a tiger sour sweet. :applejackunsure:

One hundred percent. Fighting isn't my thing, and I'm guessing it's not hers either.

Same

Lemon Zest sniffled and wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of one hand. "I-I guess she saw me and Vinyl at the park yesterday..." She sniffled with a soft blush on her cheeks, her eyes drifting to the floor. "She... she said... I might as well drop out of high school now... because nobody will hire a dyke like me anyway..."

Oh my! ๐Ÿ˜ฐ

"Whatever you say." Indigo moved daintily away from the bike, then whirled and planted a solid kick on the seat, sending it tumbling to the street with the thick crunch of metal on pavement. All eyes in the area whirled on them in shock, and Lemon Zest didn't look like she was breathing anymore.

She's in hot water now!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

Maybe you're right. I just hope you don't come to regret it.

Good enough for me. :twilightsmile:

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