This is a page that was found in Princess Luna's journal, telling the story of the transformation from Princess Luna to Nightmare Moon.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 27th Jun, 2015
- offline last seen Jul 25th, 2017
birdyluv0
Writing in my nest. Proofreading status: Avaible!
birdyluv0
Joined 27th Jun, 2015 ·
Offline
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The idea you have going here is really good, and there are some aspects of your writing which are really good, e.g. the whole
Ithing. However, there are a few things which let the story down a bit. Sometimes you seem to go off on random strings, such as the Fallout thing, which really detracts from the sad reflection vibe you have going on here. There also a few spelling mistakes, though that is slightly more minor, and can be fixed with a quick spellcheck. I'll favourite this because I like the idea, but I would recommend getting an editor and/or a prereader to help with the above.Regards,
Typerpony