Leave your headcanons at the door.
Depressed following the Ursa Minor incident, Trixie decides to return home to her remaining family for a visit.
However, for Trixie, Whinnychester brings out both the best and the worst of her self and her past, as she is reminded of that which marks her as different from other ponies.
Comments may have spoilers. Now with sequel. Cover art by Huussii
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I'm glad to be the first to review;
This was a moving piece. There was no great action, no epic suspense, this was a simple slice of life piece.
It was fantastic. Some of the most emotionally touching scenes are the everyday and that should never be discounted. You did a good job with this, made something special and left it open ended enough for a sequel, but not forged enough tenterhooks to absolutely require it.
Amazing
Very nice. I noticed fairly quickly, even with learning about it from the thread. ;) Quite a nice little tale.
i really liked this story. i haven't read the sequel yet, but if she's expose thanks to 'the wedding', i hope she could finish school, or remake the friends she lost.
the clues for me:
i was thrown off by the wording of the second half of the paragraph about her facing the Ursa. the two pools of mana clued me in to something being up. and, then the third mention of love/emotion was kinda a dead give away.
7223911 The sequel is going to be a liiiiiittle...ok, a lot different than what you might be expecting. It's important to note that she's biologically a pony, though magically a hybrid. The love barrier wouldn't affect her. This story certainly serves as a useful introduction for the setting of Phantasmare's first arc as well as Trixie's background, though.
Thanks for the comment, though, it's always useful to get feedback. I've heard something like that many plot holes in otherwise well-written stories aren't so much plot holes as they are the writer trying to be subtle and throw out hints and not realising that from a reader's perspective there still isn't enough information to connect the dots, so it's good to see that it's easy enough to pick up on the oddities and realise the reveal before it actually happens.
7224866 actually i kinda meant indirectly exposed via the mass paranoia following 'the wedding'.
also about the father, i wasn't sure which parent it was until just before the reveal. but, thinking back on it, the superstition her mother told her should have clued me in. i guess it's one of those things that are forgotten in the moment, but remembered in reflection.
What a heartfelt story. I loved the twist at the end.
Really good
Wow....really liked this. Very glad to see there is a sequel too!
I suspected the twist early on but not the exact details of it, her father saying his wife loved him for who and what he was, was the giveaway. Interesting origins for Trixie, liked the implication that she actually could have beaten the Ursa herself. I like her more as an actual rival to Twilight magic wise even if Sunset and Starlight eventually filled that role. Heavily enjoyed this, can't wait to see what the sequel has in store.
I had my suspicions when you mentioned Wooden "taking" from his wife, and even stronger ones when I read that line about his brothers right after. When Trixie mentioned her magic changing colors I knew for sure.
Still, a good read. I've had the sequel on my read later list for a while, and finally decided to give it a proper look and read this one.
Here you go. Your 100th thumbs up for making such a touching and awesome to read story. Can't wait to start reading the sequel, which is why I have it open in the next tab over. See you there!
7747562 Thanks! Amusingly, opening up the stats for this story, it only ever had 3 upvotes for several months after it was published, up until I released the sequel. Now, every time I put out a new chapter for Phantasmare, this story gets a bump in views and upvotes. Considering it was originally a stand-alone until I realised I could use the setting for a new Trixie story I was plotting out, not bad!
I do so love coming home fics. Very nice.
I'm glad you decided to do a sequel, honestly, the setup here would be too good not to do one. Also, this being the first of your work I've read, I'll say it's extremely well written and could only find nitpicks as far as the writting (I was purposely looking for errors and whatnot, so I could let you know.)
But anyways, great start. Sequel, here I come
Niiice. I've been meaning to read this for a while now. It was great!
Interesting head Canon.
Now that was an interesting turn of events!
Since you asked... I began to suspect as soon as you mentioned the magical aura bit. The colors had my attention, and I suspected where you were going. As for the dad, I had no idea until it happened, but considering I was already suspicious, it wasn't too surprising, just a little.
I definitely like Trixie as able to use magic more than she is in the show.
On a slightly critical note, when she was coming into town, you shifted persons a bit for how one would approach and what "he" would see. A different third person is used four times, going from "he" to "she" and back to "he". I wasn't sure why that was the case. Given the context, I would have expected it to remain "he" for all of those.
Other than me being picky about that... I enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your stories!
I was confused about aura color change (I knew that green aura means changeling, but was stumped by reverse green-pink change). I realized that she was hybrid and her father was a changeling when she talked about not exposing her father. Ending confirmed it. I completely failed to recognize "feeding" bit, though.
I suspected--almost sure--riiight... here. Third paragraph. So, pretty obvious to me.
The father I suspected when... well, it had to be either him or the mother, of course, so I had 50% priors right from the start. Nonetheless, when he said,
And I felt sure around the time he mentioned that they left Canterlot.
In retrospect, there was also the oddity of him being able to decide to change his career. Pony talents are kinda for life, after all~ But, while I noticed the hint, I didn't actually realize how it related.
You can has review!
So the changeling thing actually caught me completely by surprise… because I thought her father was a windigo! He took too much energy from the mother in order to maintain a solid pony form rather than his normal “phantasmal” form, and then the mother died from pneumonia because he made her too cold all the time. It also took a large amount of magical energy to allow a pony to have a child with a noncorporeal being. Heh, so you got me with an unintentional red herring!
Anyway, very nice short story. I look forward to reading the novel that developed from this.