No pony would have believed
That pony affairs where being watched from the timeless worlds of space.
No pony could have dreamed we were being scrutinized as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.
Few ponies even considered the possibility of life other planets
And yet across the gulf of space minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded Equestria with envious eyes and slowly and surely they drew their plans against us.
Cast
My OC: the journalist.
Rainbow Dash: the artilleryman
Twilight: carry
Celestia: parson Nathaniel
Luna: beth the parson's wife.
This was a British story based in london so the film with tom cruise in is not correct
Chapters (7)
This is a interesting story, but I recommend that yo make the chapters longer.
6420208
I'm trying to keep the chapters like the scenes of the musical version by jeff Wayne.
6420221
You need to take into account the different medium; you can't write a story like a musical, otherwise it kills the pacing. A musical has, well, music but also something visual for us to help keep even short scenes going, you can't do that with a text based story.
6420221 Fair enough. It is your story, you do with it as you wish.
Wait. Isn't War Of The Worlds supposed to be a novel by H. G. Wells?
6420244
one step ahead of you
6420640
yes it is but jeff Wayne made a musical version which i my have included the songs
I notice you've added a number of stories to the All-OC stories group, but the ones I checked all have canon characters tagged.
You might want to double-check the group guidelines to see if the stories really qualify before adding them.
6430709
my OC is mainly the main character, but I use canon characters to fill the spots in the rolls. I'm not good at making new characters
Just gonna leave this here...
Imagine hearing that on a misty morning...
6433082
This would have gone well in jeff Wayne's musical instead of the Ulla scream.
6433734 I agree with you on that mate!
You have expressed an interest in having me review this story on L.O.V. Review. While the concept of this story is interesting, there are several things that I'd like to see fixed up before I review it (at least, review it in a positive way. As is I could review it, but I'd be pointing out the things that need to change and the mistakes rather than how good it is. I could do that, if you want, but I wouldn't want to unless you were okay with that.).
1. Miss spelled or incorrect words. How to fix? As someone to be an editor. That's the simplest way.
2. I understand you have a set image in your head, but it seems that you're limiting yourself by doing so. The story seems too fast pace, and while I understand where you're going with it, I'm not enjoying it because there hasn't been anything (descriptions, characters, character development, atmosphere building of any kind or plot interest) That makes me want to read more or draw me in and make me read more.
I don't want to recommend this to anyone as is, but I could see it being great, as there's a lot of potential here. I won't review, unless you don't mind it being in a more negative light, as a lot would have to change for this to be good for others. Sorry.
6506479
I based it off of a musical so I didn't know much about the characters or description just knew the plot. That is why it is fast paced and some of the lines are the songs.
But I've checked it now using a British spell checker (America and Britain spell stuff different) and everything seems fine.
When you review make sure to mention the musical stuff
Sounds like your a fan of the Jeff Wayne version of war of the worlds 🙂
I knew you added the Jeff Wayne’s songs clever makes it more interesting 🙂
Wow
Like how Celestia went nuts like (i think it was a preast in the orginal 🤔)
Also damn killing off both princess Luna and Celestia 🤣
This was great 🙂
Though could of been interesting see what was going on in the Crystal empire 🤔
Pretty sure they would of got wiped out Farley quickly