I am not contained between my hat and my boots.
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Applejack has developed an odor. Rarity sets out to remedy the situation, with or without Applejack's consent.
Warning, contains: Non-consensual scrubbing.
Cover image by kittyhawk-contrail.
Full-cast dramatic reading by ObabScribbler.
Based on this story: Get Dirty | Get Clean: Deodourizing
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I half expected it to end slightly different:
Princess Celestia poked her nose out of the throne room and whispered to the guard. "I'm headed for the Royal Baths. Would you be so kind as to cancel all of my appointments for the afternoon and have somepony mop up the mess." She nodded at the line of muddy hoofprints that threaded their way into the room without even a reduction in spacing in front of the door to indicate a change of pace.
"Very well, Your Highness." The guard flicked his ears at the sound of muffled cursing coming from inside the room. "If you'll excuse the question, it seems like a strange time of day to be taking a bath."
"Oh, I'm not taking a bath," said Princess Celestia as she trotted out of the room with a muddy earth pony floating behind her, wrapped in a muffling spell. "I'm giving one."
6405949
Heh, that would be a fun way to end it.
I love when people add stuff like this! ^.^ It's like getting little fanfics of my fanfic.
Oh I could definitely see Rarity doing this to Applejack. And I see Twilight giving the pardon. And I can see Celestia just shaking her head, saying Nope and No More, dumping responsibility on Luna and taking a month vacation.
After dumping Applejack in the moat for a quick cleaning.
But . . . doesn't Rarity know that a mudpony's strength is proportional to the dirt in her coat?
Celestia is too weak, Applejack need to ask Luna if she want something.
This was a funny enough story and I like it enough that I'm going to favorite it, but one thing bugs me.
And that is this moment:
Unless I missed something earlier in the fic (and I double checked the whole story), that line seems out of character, even for a silly story such as this.
Rainbow would NEVER willingly go to the spa to actually get pampered. The only things that I can think of that would get her to go do something like that would be losing a bet, it being a dare, the fate of a friendship resting on her doing so, or having to do it in order to save Equestria.
6406047
Well, I guess that means I got the characterization right. ^.^
6406068
Of course. She just wants to weaken her for the eventual unicorn takeover.
6406099
Oy, don't knock best pony!
6406107
Fair enough... maybe I should have thought of some other way for Rainbow to complain about being mud-splattered.
6406122
Ha! That would make a fun sequel!
I feel like a little more explanation as to why AJ hates baths is in order.
Great story!
6406374 Honestly, I don't think Rainbow would complain about being mud splattered. At least, not unless it gunked up her wings. And even then, she'd probably just clean it off herself rather than go to a spa.
Doesn't Apple Jack regularly go to that swimming hole near her house?
6406378
Because she is mud pony.
6406395
Thankfully, that water is pretty dirty.
6406374 pre05.deviantart.net/956a/th/pre/f/2015/245/2/6/first_born_by_hillbe-d986vyb.jpg
THIS WAS A REALLY CUTE STORY
THANK YOU
Now Applejack knows how Winona must feel
.......... Poor Opal though... 
6406397
Between that and Applejack's comments on unicorns, I'm surprised there isn't a tribe war in Equestria... Again.
6406405
I do what I can. ^.^
6406428
Yeah, it's a rough life.
6406439
There is, it's just whenever things get too heated, the alicorns step in and remind everybody who's boss.
6406463
Jesus Christ...
6406484
He's not in right now, but I can take a message for him if you'd like.
This is the first story I have read on this site, and it was by far a good first impression!
BATH RAPE!? I literally had to COVER MY MOUTH because my roommate is right here sleeping on the couch lol!
6406489
Tell him he needs to stop the pony race war. It's giving his father ulcers.
6406374 maybe Rarity wagered that she could get AJ clean without getting herself dirty. RD took the bet, and the loser paid for a spa trip.
Excellent work as usual, ocal. You got AJ's character down withkut the drawl, bonus ducks there.
did not anticipate that ending heh heh
I am the forty-second like. I am okay with this.
In all seriousness, good story, ocalhoun. I'm looking forward to more from ya!
6406502
Ha! Cool!
Glad I could give you a good introduction to Fimfiction. ^.^
6406516
Aw, come on; wake 'em up. I'd love to hear how you explained the concept of bath rape!
6406547
Mkay.
I'll load that message into my cannon and shoot it into the air where Jesus lives.
I'm sure he'll get it.
6406560
It's good practice. ^.^ I've got a novel I'm working on where I need lots of country accents.
6406773
I'm glad I can still be unpredictable at times!
6406824
Oh, and there's more coming.
Tomorrow, I ship Fluttershy with a spider.
Wait...wait... wait just a darned minute.... *eyes grow all dinner plate sized*
RAINBOW DOES NOT LIKE THE SPA! CHANGELINGS! OMGZWTF CHANGELINGS!
WEIRD, BATH RAPEY CHANGELINGS!!!!
6407037
Wow, you figured it out!
6407030 I am strangely okay with that.
After thinking about it...If Celestia don't want to put them in jail, Applejack can force her, it's easy, she can talk with her family and all the Apple Family in a riot because the princess did not put them in jail.
Hah, AJ is like a cat, deathly afraid of baths.
While I don't really agree with making AJ the dirty one, for the purpose of this story it was great. Good job!
6405949
Although Applejack is not froufrou-y, she is clean and well-groomed.
6407682
And who doesn't like a good old fashioned riot?
6407760
Thanks! ^.^ It was fun to do.
6408309
She is once Rarity's done with her!
6408356 Discord. A Riot is harmony, is too organized
6409153
Unicorns are evil AND OP, and not just in your stories.
6409513
But especially in my stories.
Wow, this thing just featured... and I posted it more than 24 hours ago.
Now that's a slow-burning story!
Does this remotely resemble the Powerpuff Girls episode? At all?
6409778
I'm unaware of any Powerpuff Girls episode.
What?
Awe, that was cute!
Anarchy Club- "Get Clean"
6409996
Aka 'non-consensual bathing'.
6410052
^.^ Thanks!
6410060
Heh, I keep using song titles without knowing it.
But no, that's not where I came up with it.
(I actually came up with it as a variant on the movie title Get Hard.)
6410063
Well.
That's a song about the Holocaust. Funny coincidence, that?
6410066
Heh, figures it'd be about something awful.