I had to delete the rest of this comment, as it was getting WAY too long. I lost much of the previous updates, but I plan on starting a blog for these soon anyways.
I'm still looking for a proofreader/editor.
I'm still looking for a decent cover picture for A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters. Humanized female changeling is what I'm looking for, else I'll probably just use a photo of Chrysalis... Again...
Work is kicking my ass pretty much the rest of this week. I'm going to be busy as fuck for a few days, but I plan on finishing the conclusion by this weekend. What I had already written out didn't fit with the end of Twilight's chapter, so I'm re-writing it.
I'm STILL accepting requests for A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters. Danielpie13 has the first and only in with Luna. Luna's my second favorite, so I'm planning something nice for this one ^.^
If you don't know, A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters will be my request/random story, with many (MANY) short chapters, almost entirely clop, and almost all of it requests. There are a few stories, like Aloe and Lotus' "Deluxe Treatment" in the middle of chapter 2, and a threesome with Liam, Fluttershy, and Applejack that was supposed to happen near the end of Chapter 3. Among a few other spots throughout the story.
Maggie is getting a lot of love. I very well may make her story separately. Ajax, as well, may be getting his own short story. His will probably include more of his relationship with Lily and might take place during the events of the season 2 finale.
I think that's everything. Once again, thank you all for the love and support you've shown me. Please, keep your eyes peeled for A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters
For a first work it's pretty good. It doesn't share the kind of graceful work that some clop writers use to make the sex part seem cleaner, but Lily isn't out to make love i suppose : p.
However, since it's a human story, i'm a little wary of you calling them pegasi and unicorns, as they are horses with wings and horns respectively. I remember there was a story where they called the pegasi Avians I believe. I wish you the best in continuing the story though, It's interesting if nothing else ^^.
655983 Thank you for the feedback! I was actually a little leery myself still calling them pegasi and unicorns... I very well may change that in the future. Still, once you're on a path, you're sort of set, right? Keep an eye out, I'll be updating this story frequently.
I'm getting a lot of positive feedback from everyone. I love this site, and I plan on writing much more in the near future. Thank you, everyone, for all your help!
Not bad, not bad at all. Grammar can use some work but you hit the nail on the head with details and I always prefer that. *nods* A solid 8/10, to be sure. Leaving a like as well because I'm also a first time writer (on here, at least. Been writing for YEARS) and I know how valuable positive feedback is :)
though a word of advice, you may want to space your sentences and paragraph a bit, it'll make it easier to read. and you'll be able to aviod the dreaded wall-o-text
Author's Notes: Hey guys, thanks for the reads, I really appreciate them all. At work tonight, I'll orchestrate an edit and implement some changes. Things to look for: No more wall-o-text Pegasi = Avians Unicorn = Magi/Mage Alicorns = Princesses And a few grammatical errors to be fixed.
Thank you for all the feedback, I'm only changing things to *hopefully* make the reading experience a little better for you all.
As of 1240 AM Central time, This chapter will be under construction as I switch some things around. See my previous comment. In addition, after the edit, I plan on beginning Chapter 2, so keep your eyes peeled!
-=ANNOUNCEMENT=- The time is 230AM Central time, and I am -at last- done with the edit... Here are a list of the changes (The ones I can remember making)
-Changed some pacing in key parts, making things clearer (Repeated use of "She" or "Her" Making things difficult to tell if it was Fluttershy or Lily doing the action) -Changed "Pegasus, Pegasi" To "Avian" or something else that doesn't indicate pony. Same with "Unicorn" and "Mage, Magi" Essentially, I fully humanized the story. -A few repeated uses of the comma, my favorite little guy. I mean, just look at him. So damn cute. This was screwing with the pacing and making things a little too dry or difficult to read.
IMPORTANT
I had some MAJOR issues when I tried to make this thing more readable. I'm sure that's where the majority of the red thumbs came from was the ones who read it while I was editing these and didn't read the comments. It's okay, I forgive you. As this is my first submission and I'm not entirely familiar with the difference between the coding in "Edit" mode and when you're actually reading the chapter. There may still be some indenting issues that will screw with the pacing or a sentence here and there. If you spot one of these, PLEASE let me know in a comment or a message. I'll make sure I sniff out these problems before releasing Chapter 2 for your enjoyment.
I have to apologize to those of you who read this while I was editing. Shit was crazy, and just plain looked ugly. I attribute it to my own failure, and hope you forgive me for sucking the past... Shit, 3 hours.
Due to lack of sleep and too much work, I've been tied up with Rarity's chapter. I'm not too far off from finishing, I just don't have the time. If I can manage the edit and proofread before work tomorrow, I'll post it. If not, I promise you all, I'll have up to chapter 3 finished by Saturday Night. Hooray for screwy weekends!
Hey! This is pretty decent! ^^ I love how you actually managed to make a "My OC seduces and has Sex with aaaall of the Mane 6!!!" story to make sense and feel justified.
-= NOTICE! IMPORTANT! =-
I had to delete the rest of this comment, as it was getting WAY too long. I lost much of the previous updates, but I plan on starting a blog for these soon anyways.
I'm still looking for a proofreader/editor.
I'm still looking for a decent cover picture for A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters. Humanized female changeling is what I'm looking for, else I'll probably just use a photo of Chrysalis... Again...
Work is kicking my ass pretty much the rest of this week. I'm going to be busy as fuck for a few days, but I plan on finishing the conclusion by this weekend. What I had already written out didn't fit with the end of Twilight's chapter, so I'm re-writing it.
I'm STILL accepting requests for A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters. Danielpie13 has the first and only in with Luna. Luna's my second favorite, so I'm planning something nice for this one ^.^
If you don't know, A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters will be my request/random story, with many (MANY) short chapters, almost entirely clop, and almost all of it requests. There are a few stories, like Aloe and Lotus' "Deluxe Treatment" in the middle of chapter 2, and a threesome with Liam, Fluttershy, and Applejack that was supposed to happen near the end of Chapter 3. Among a few other spots throughout the story.
Maggie is getting a lot of love. I very well may make her story separately. Ajax, as well, may be getting his own short story. His will probably include more of his relationship with Lily and might take place during the events of the season 2 finale.
I think that's everything. Once again, thank you all for the love and support you've shown me. Please, keep your eyes peeled for A Different Kind of Love: The Lost Chapters
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ78to2-4515elWwmHi3BUn3zkVPlDfv1kRXtVHJj72-QJwJFfyeg 655197
For a first work it's pretty good. It doesn't share the kind of graceful work that some clop writers use to make the sex part seem cleaner, but Lily isn't out to make love i suppose : p.
However, since it's a human story, i'm a little wary of you calling them pegasi and unicorns, as they are horses with wings and horns respectively. I remember there was a story where they called the pegasi Avians I believe. I wish you the best in continuing the story though, It's interesting if nothing else ^^.
655197 Also, I'm kinda confused, are they humanized? Is lily the only human? I can't brain today, I have the dumb
655988
Indeed they are, though in my mind, pegasi still have wings and unicorns still have horns. Not sure what to call them, then...
656002 Sweet jesus! I am doing the same thing when it comes to pegasi and unicorns.
655983
Thank you for the feedback! I was actually a little leery myself still calling them pegasi and unicorns... I very well may change that in the future. Still, once you're on a path, you're sort of set, right? Keep an eye out, I'll be updating this story frequently.
655197 You sir/madam...have given me a plethora of ideas, thanks
I'm getting a lot of positive feedback from everyone. I love this site, and I plan on writing much more in the near future. Thank you, everyone, for all your help!
Not bad, not bad at all. Grammar can use some work but you hit the nail on the head with details and I always prefer that. *nods*
A solid 8/10, to be sure.
Leaving a like as well because I'm also a first time writer (on here, at least. Been writing for YEARS) and I know how valuable positive feedback is :)
This was pretty good for a first fic. Well Done!!
though a word of advice, you may want to space your sentences and paragraph a bit, it'll make it easier to read. and you'll be able to aviod the dreaded wall-o-text
656189
Agreed. Listen to this. Wall-of-text = BAD
me gusta.
Continue please
Author's Notes:
Hey guys, thanks for the reads, I really appreciate them all. At work tonight, I'll orchestrate an edit and implement some changes. Things to look for:
No more wall-o-text
Pegasi = Avians
Unicorn = Magi/Mage
Alicorns = Princesses
And a few grammatical errors to be fixed.
Thank you for all the feedback, I'm only changing things to *hopefully* make the reading experience a little better for you all.
656340
I will begin Rarity's chapter tonight after the edit ^.^ Keep an eye peeled.
-=NOTICE!=- -=IMPORTANT!=-
As of 1240 AM Central time, This chapter will be under construction as I switch some things around. See my previous comment. In addition, after the edit, I plan on beginning Chapter 2, so keep your eyes peeled!
-=NOTICE!=- -=IMPORTANT!=-
-=ANNOUNCEMENT=-
The time is 230AM Central time, and I am -at last- done with the edit... Here are a list of the changes (The ones I can remember making)
-Changed some pacing in key parts, making things clearer (Repeated use of "She" or "Her" Making things difficult to tell if it was Fluttershy or Lily doing the action)
-Changed "Pegasus, Pegasi" To "Avian" or something else that doesn't indicate pony. Same with "Unicorn" and "Mage, Magi" Essentially, I fully humanized the story.
-A few repeated uses of the comma, my favorite little guy. I mean, just look at him. So damn cute. This was screwing with the pacing and making things a little too dry or difficult to read.
IMPORTANT
I had some MAJOR issues when I tried to make this thing more readable. I'm sure that's where the majority of the red thumbs came from was the ones who read it while I was editing these and didn't read the comments. It's okay, I forgive you. As this is my first submission and I'm not entirely familiar with the difference between the coding in "Edit" mode and when you're actually reading the chapter. There may still be some indenting issues that will screw with the pacing or a sentence here and there. If you spot one of these, PLEASE let me know in a comment or a message. I'll make sure I sniff out these problems before releasing Chapter 2 for your enjoyment.
I have to apologize to those of you who read this while I was editing. Shit was crazy, and just plain looked ugly. I attribute it to my own failure, and hope you forgive me for sucking the past... Shit, 3 hours.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.
VERY GOOD JOB. I love this write, im also a first time writer(title:Lunar Rainbow) if you want you can check it out you can, cant wait for more
DONT STOP MAKING THEM
Due to lack of sleep and too much work, I've been tied up with Rarity's chapter. I'm not too far off from finishing, I just don't have the time. If I can manage the edit and proofread before work tomorrow, I'll post it. If not, I promise you all, I'll have up to chapter 3 finished by Saturday Night. Hooray for screwy weekends!
This is wierd, ponified names in a Human world... so damn wierd. I just........FFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-
Hey! This is pretty decent! ^^ I love how you actually managed to make a "My OC seduces and has Sex with aaaall of the Mane 6!!!" story to make sense and feel justified.