This has a good enough starting concept (as clop goes), but it is some of the worst writing I've ever seen. Your maths is wrong, your paragraph spacing is unnecessarily huge, you have multiple people speaking in a single paragraph, and I can't even tell if you intended anything more to be in the chapter since it currently ends in "Sc".

6366270 Thank you I fixed the problems that you notice

6366309 hello agron we meet again good to see you adding more detail fro last time although you reverted to your old way halfway through

i said it once i sad it again 1 speaker during a section if another wants to speak separate them.

"well then, follow me to the library." Said Twilight as she led the crusaders to the library, which was down another hallway a couple doors till they reached it they went inside and the Crusaders were surprised at what they saw. There in front of them was a bed, some wired objects that they never seen before, and there were two books there that were about sex, there was one about a mare and a stallion having sex, and another one about a mare and a mare having sex.

if they dont know what sex is how do they know what the book is about by the cover describe what the cover looks like fromm there Innocent perspective

Ie say the cover has a stallion rutting a mare in the standard position

to them it will look like the stallion is trying to climb over the mare so say it like that!

There in front of them was a bed, some wired objects that they never seen before, and there were two strange looking books , there was one that had a picture of what looked like a stallion trying to climb on top of a mare from behind,

also change it to one book They wouldnt print two books when one is unnecessary you just combine it (and as per fandom cliché you can call it either the 'Pony Sutra or the kamaresutra {<-----how does this translate to ultra marine auto correct}
or since its twilight
1 Reproduction and You The abridged reference.
2 Sex for dummies
3 pleasure 101

6366920 Hello Commander Darklight it's good to see you too thank you for telling me about the problems that I have I'm working to fix them

Good start, but the passing need to be more slow and there's errors here and there.

Cheerilee is spelled wrong a lot of times so try to remember how it's written The spancing is also weird between paragraphs so try to change this too. And is this finished? Because this doesn't seen like a true entire chapter, looks like the end have things missing. Plus the title should be like "Twilight's New Lesson"

Taking those out it's good If you need any help you can have mine in pre reading stuff