Love Made of Metal and Apples

A stallion, who's well known for making metallic artwork and steam mechanics, is invited to the Grand Galloping Gala. Not only is it his first and best night ever. He meets and falls in love with a mare who runs an apple orchard in Ponyville. However, she doesn't notice his feelings for her, so he'll stop at nothing to get her attention.

Was rated E, but changed it to T because some parts are more difficult to understand for younger readers.

Chapters (10)

Chapter 1: The Invitation · 26th Aug 2015 · 1,173 words
1,173
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Chapter 2: The Gala · 28th Aug 2015 · 4,450 words
4,450
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5 chapters hidden. Show
Chapter 3: A Small Situation Turned Big · 7th Sep 2015 · 4,800 words
4,800
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Chapter 4: Pathes Hidden in Dreams · 3rd Oct 2015 · 1,538 words
1,538
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Chapter 5: Something To Think About · 30th Nov 2015 · 4,226 words
4,226
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Chapter 6: Awards, Racing, Bitter Friends, And... A Warm Night? · 24th Jan 2016 · 7,640 words
7,640
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Chapter 7: Hat Tricks · 14th Feb 2016 · 5,619 words
5,619
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Chapter 8: Moving Day · 7th Mar 2016 · 11,461 words
11,461
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Chapter 9: Two Stars · 13th Mar 2016 · 3,064 words
3,064
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Chapter 10: Love Made of Metal and Apples · 18th Mar 2016 · 2,339 words
2,339
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Comments ( 10 )

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CrypticMetaphor

CrypticMetaphor #1 · Aug 27th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1: The Invitation ·

Impressive start, needs some corrections here and there.", but good start.

SomeBloke

SomeBloke #2 · Aug 27th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1: The Invitation ·

Great start, keep it up:)

saloony78

saloony78 #3 · Aug 28th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2: The Gala ·

Ah like your ideas.

Grammar mistakes, though...

"What, in the name of Princess Celestia, is that?!" ,said the guard.

"What's your name?" ,asked the planner,

"What's wrong with having a little fun?" ,Discord said, laughing.

I don't think you need a comma before 'said' or asked'.

"Copper Finish" ,he answered, instantly

The comma goes before the closing quotation marks. And I don't think you need a comma before 'instantly'.

But, he choose not to question it.

chose

Phillydelphia, Appleoza,

Fillydelphia, Appleloosa

"Phillies and Gentlecolts

Fillies, actually.

without further a due,

further ado

attend this years Grand Galloping Gala."

year's

hear is heart

hear his* heart

taking deep breathes.

deep breaths

Pinky Pie

"Pinky," said the mystery mare

Pinkie. Pinkie Pie.

discrete

discreet

come say, hello

"You know better, than to scare ponies you don't even know."

No commas here as well, I guess?

I even have to perfect closer, too.

The perfect closing.

Gearsmash King

Gearsmash King #4 · Aug 28th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2: The Gala ·

>> saloony78

Okay, I'll get on that. Thanks for the help.

StarzGecko

StarzGecko #5 · Mar 15th, 2016 · · · Chapter 9: Two Stars ·

Found your story and I really love it!

I guess it's almost over than?

Comment posted by Gearsmash King deleted Mar 18th, 2016

Gearsmash King

Gearsmash King #7 · Mar 18th, 2016 · · · Chapter 9: Two Stars ·

>>PlatinumPony Sadly, yes. But, I'm planning on making a sequel, but I've got other stories in the wind. So, it'll be slow going, but it'll most likely happen.

StarzGecko

StarzGecko #8 · Mar 18th, 2016 · · · Chapter 10: Love Made of Metal and Apples ·

I wish you add more to the story between last chapter till this one. But this was a really nice story

Gearsmash King

Gearsmash King #9 · Mar 18th, 2016 · · · Chapter 10: Love Made of Metal and Apples ·

7042637 I thought about that, but I my mind told me to just jump. This is my first story, so I wasn't expecting it to be prefect. If I make the sequel, I'll try to put more detail and effort into it. Glad you enjoyed it.