Mystara was the first fantasy game world I play in. Gonna check out this. :)

>>3378933789

Me too.  I first played in 1982 with the Basic and Expert Sets; Mystara grew out of the world map in the Isle of Dread adventure and the Expert rules.

Yes yes yes yes yes.mp4

Amazing, deserves its 5.0 star rating.

And wow, 40K words in the first chapter? God I love books

Anyway, I can't WAIT for an update. This story is so well told. Such good characterization on an OC pony, but also splendid interactions with the mane6. My only fear is that it will take forever to see another 40K word chapter update.

So glad to see you spreading this story around! A tale of this quality deserves the spotlight.

MANUEL OF THE PLAINS!

So much recognition from reading that Principalities of Glantri module back at the uni somewhere in the 90s... Induced nostalgia and ponies!

I have the Glantri book as a PDF; it was very useful for writing this.

Oh sweet Jesus, my life is complete.

Oh, you poor fools have NO idea.

The story is already done.  He's just teasing it out for the evilutz.  (and proofreading)

You have no idea of how totally awesome it's going to get.  It's so awesome even Rainbow Dash fainted from the awesome.

I like this!^_^

It's really great!^_^

A good fanfiction!^_^

I never heard of Mystara before, but I like it now!^_^

So, is Marcus going to wind up with Twilight? I like Marcus, he is really cool!^_^ And what about Ivan, will he wind up with Rainbow Dash, or will Ivan wind up with some other pony like Fluttershy or maybe even Pinkie perhaps when thios adventure's over?

>>3432834328 If Ivan doesn't wind up with Rainbow Dash, maybe you could open up a time/space hole and drop Ranma on her right then.^_^

Yeah there man!^_^

Cool!^_^

>>3433934339 It could even go like this

(Rainbow Dash is with her friends when a strange portal suddenly rips open.

Out falls a human.

He gets up, looks around, and says "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."

Rainbow Dash says "Did you say... Ranma Saotome?"

Ranma says "Yes. Um. Why?"

Rainbow goes back to her cloudhome, returns, and presents a scroll to Ranma.

---I Genma Saotome promise that in exchange for a way off this world I will give my first born son to be wedded to the first born daughter of my new friends Cloud and Starshine Dash. -Genma Saotome. Age 21.---

Rainbow says "They're my parents. I'm Rainbow Dash. Your new fiancee.")

That's about how Ranma's life goes.  But despite my tendency to megacrossover, this story will stick to just Mystara and MLP.

Also, no. Marcus is hooked up with best pony, and Ivan with METAL! pony.  And it all makes hilariously awesome sense.

In the end, it'll all go according to her plan.

Richardson, please don't post spoilers.    Let them experience it on their own.  

I never said who best pony was.

Or who 'her' is.

>>3439934399

Bad Richardson, *smacks with a fish* no Spoilers. Everyone knows what ponies you're talking about there.

Sadly Marcus actually ends up with worst pony :(

>>3406334063

The old paper thing is nestled in my bookshelf; it is read apart, so to speak

cool story bro, i only have one thing to say: MOAR!!!

This story has a total word count of 337,763 words, so this is only just over 13% of the story. There are 6 books + per character epilogues on John Bile's personal website; http://www.thekeep.org/~wombat/Stories/MLP/

Fuck EQD John, this story is too good to be lumped with the crap that gets linked their anyway.

wow even  through its very very long, i enjoyed every second reading it and thats very rare.

I thank you deeply for this.

>>3732337323

Thanks!  I greatly enjoyed writing it.  

You have combined My favorite hobby with ponies. Good luck and may all the ponies love be with you.

Very funny!

I'd expect Ixion to have been Celestia's patron, or Celestia beeing one of his mortal avatars (he is a furry and like going around in drag, but don't tell anyone).

Boatmurdered reference = funny

No, I didn't have any plans for the rest of the weekend...

hmmm the facts leet me to a intersting possibiliy

1) Marcus doesn't really know his own past

2) polymorphing mess with your brain if they are applied too long

3) Marcus polymorphed many times

4) he has a Tatoo on his but, which resembles a cutie mark (5 Jacks)

5) he says he's a Jack of every color

I call it now, Marcus was born as a Pony

Incredible. You made Equestria and the Ponies live in a dangerous world without turning the story grim-dark. You even kept the characters completely accuarate! With all the dangers and the politcal intruige the series remains pretty happy and humourous! The ponies are good and cheerful without being overly naieve, or getting crushed by the world they live in.

If you manage to avoid tyrant celestia, you will have succeced in writing.

I will go ahead and say there is no Tyrant Celestia in this story.

Wow, when you say BOOK 1 you really mean it, this is the longest fanfic I've read, and it's easily on par with (if not better than) most novels I've read. I am truly impressed.

I don't know how you find the time to write these epics, but I hope they continue.

Good lord. This was awesome. Also, wicked rad to see Boatmurdered dropped in there, if only for a sentence or two.

>>4255042550

Yup, only a sentence or two.

I wounder if you can bake a quadratic equation?

like in a cake or in cupcake form? or both?

someone get on that

this is sooo amazing. worth staying up into the wee hours of the morning to read. (thats the only time i have time to read.)

and, also.

BOOK FORT. LOVE IT.

Been a fan of John's work since I first read Children of an Elder God way back when so I read this as it came out piece by piece over at Spacebattles. I loved it then, just as I do now - especially as I think this is the part of the story where ALL the characters really begin to get fleshed out with additional backstory, not just Samus and Ivan but everypony too. Keep up the good work - and don't take too long with that sequel!

This fic makes me believe the characters from the show are someone's old characters from a D&D campaign.

>>5099950999

There are a lot of incidents in this story based on my experiences running D&D since 1982.  

Man Spike wants blood.

'Tis quite a beloved tale, indeed. :D

This story is brilliant, if a little confusing. 5/5

>>6001260012

Glad you're enjoying it.  What do you find confusing?

>>6006960069 I don't get who is Asterius guy is and why Ivan is so depressed by him, and I often find myself re reading parts because I lose track of where everyone is and what's happening. I think it's more me trying to speed read everything than the writing though. I'm still enjoying it a lot.

So I have to say that I cheated and went to your site, and then downloaded all of the stories and read them in a day. And then I was curious at how long it took me to read them, so I looked into printing them to put into one coherent manuscript. This is longer than than the complete works of Amber. this is an epic. I love it, i love you, i've reread this twice since then. I wish my D&D party was less "burnmaimkill" and more pony.

ugh.

This is wonderful. I don't really know how else to describe it - the comedy is written as part of the adventure, and yet somehow, despite being almost omnipresent, fails to detract from the narrative. Although, having a protagonist who is technically immortal should really be somethign of a downside for a story - even if his brand of immortality apparently does  not stop him from dying horrible, horrible deaths.

A fine Christmas present! I loved the Canterlot scenes when you where releasing this on Spacebattles - Celestia and her flirty behaviour is so much fun to read

Can't wait to re-read the next book!

2.5k views? What is this blasphemy?!

This was an incredible read.... Just bleeding amazing. I daresay the quality was close to the level of George RR Martin. At the end I felt as if I had read a good dozen chapters from A Song of Ice and Fire. That, is no mean feat whatsoever.

I am highly impressed in general, I couldn't find something to bitch about if I tried- Oh wait, I can, because I'm the bitchlord (Yes, that is the nickname people gave me). The countries and the races. After a few were introduced I had NO clue anymore whom was what and what whom was nor what a country was like. It was even harder to follow than how RR Martin introduces over two dozen knights in half a chapter.

That, however, brings me to what truly brought this piece to RR Martin level: The believeablity. I could HONESTLY believe that everyone one of those characters could exist in that universe. Of course it's a fantasy, but we're not talking about reality after all! The countries, the ideals, the people and the behaviours all seemed extremely well put together. Like a stick figure (bear with me), the ideas are simple but if you don't properly put them together then nobody will ever even TRY to believe it.

That, is what this story excelled at most of all.

Also: HATS!!!

Just read your entire story.

This is excellent. Chapters are quite long, but worth it. I've enjoyed the character development.

The flashback with the dwarves, it brings back memories of a dwarf paladin I played that was obsessed with collecting eyes, ended up building a house out of them in a later campaign, good times, good times.

I love the way you weave together Mystaran and Equestrian lore, and your writing is both evocative and humorous. Oh, and the songs/verses!

Just chiming in to say this shit is so cash

" Pony inventions sometimes only work for the pony who made them because of their cutie mark, you see.  "

This makes so much sense!

Another looooooooong awesome chapter! Thanks and happy new year!

Another brilliant chapter - and an epically long one too! Whilst, admittedly, this chapter is as hilarious as any other in this fic (which is really saying something, to be honest), I was unfortunately distracted by my fury with Marcus/Eric - I spent much of that chapter debating with myself how best to ki... well, not really kill him, that seems rather pointless now, but definitely make him suffer. Regrettably, I am not of a particularly vindictive nature, so my ideas revolved mainly around selling him to either mad scientists or mad wizards (I hear they love those test subjects that get back up after you accidentally kill them). I did manage to come up with one involving laxative, spicy curry, and itching powder, but, after seeing what happened when Blueblood attempted to get even with him, I'm not sure I want to see the retaliation to _my_ idea.

However, I must congratulate you on the idea of a floating fortress (even if it is a wooden one). I do have a question about that section, though - Marcus freaks out because he is 'in a giant flying death trap designed by a child'. I get why he would freak out about the 'flying death trap' part, and 'giant' is only ever good when applied to food (and even then, not always), but what's the worry with it being designed by a child? Is it that he's scared it will fall out of the sky? Or that children are notorious for being the most cruel, vindictive, and surprisingly resourceful sections of any species? Or something else entirely. I ask because the 'designed by a child' clearly caused enough worry to warrant statement even after 'giant flying death trap', but I am not sure exactly _how_ that worry was generated.

Anyway, Loved this chapter, and I can't wait for the next one (although I probably won't start reading that one at 2 in the morning)

You know... I don't really have a choice but to applaud you for your inventivity and all-round skill.

Granted, the first book was the best. However, that counts for all stories of these lengths.

I am extremely impressed by your skills. In fact, you should probably think about publishing. I don't know what kinds of things you ussually write, but if this is an indication of what it is like then I can ASSURE you I would buy a copy of it. You are an extremely skilled writer; humerous, to the point (no full page dedicated to the food served) yet truefull. None of the characters ever feel like they are not what they would be like at that moment.

If I had to grade this, I wouldn't give it a number. I would give it a name. That name, is George RR Martin.

You are on his level of excellence, without the whole creating a universe of course. I am honored, and humbled to have read such an amazing story. I eagerly await the next book.

(I am keenly aware that I can find said book elsewhere with a simple googling. I just do not wish to to do so.)

~Kaleopolitus,

Crappy fanfic writer.

You sir.

Are an Artisan among Writers.

I was looking forward to this all day! (Huzzah punctuality!)

I hope there will be more, but not if it forces anything, you know?

And, once more, you are amazing.

Crying.

Its even comparable to the why I was crying at the end of fallout-equetria.

>>114001114001

Thank you everyone for all the compliments.

There is an epilogue which will go up next Friday and I plan to eventually write a sequel, starring the Cutie Mark Crusaders (The Time Monster is the tentative title).  I have some other ideas for the same universe too.

Why isn't this on EQD again?

It was not so much rejected as banished to the moon.

I expect that they didn't like Marcus' narrating style (They told me I write like a high school student.)

Great story, but I just can't figure out one thing.

Why are Dash/AJ/Rarity/Twilight/Fluttershy/Pinkie bigger?  Something to do with their path to immortality?  Or is that something for next chapter?

wow, that was one of the most epic climaxes to a conflict i've ever read.

there is an interesting quality to this story that I like. it reads EXACTLY like a D&D game.

however the constant point of view shifts that have been in the last two chapters significantly reduced my reading enjoyment. it got to the point where it seemed you weren't even switching point of view for any other reason than to write form another point of view. It's bad practice to switch that often. typicality you only switch to bring something to the story that could not be found in the other view. there were several cases where you switch character mid scene when the other character was still in that seen and perfectly capable of continuing the narration. in those cases the switch served no purpose and broke the reading flow reducing story immersion and was nothing but a detriment to the story as it brought no new insight criteria to understanding the events.

sorry if that sound harsh but it's my view.

overall this story is fantastic. it's not your typical fantasy story and I can totally see what EqD refused to post it, it just isn't their style, great story none the less. the only thing it needs now is a good ending. can;t wait to see you pull it off.

also, chaos beam cannon? Infinite Improbability Drive effects via a localized beam? epic. I was laughing my ass off and could totally see that happening in a D&D game. the DM in you was clearly having the time of his life having all that chaos around.

A very enjoyable ride, though looooong chapters. As a minor praise for this chapter, as an old Mystara nerd I really liked how you coupled demons & Nightmare Dimension with demons & devils in (A)D&D...

Minor quibble: your viewpoint switches come hard and fast when we near the end, and sometimes while you do switch the opinions and actions of the current viewpoint character, you don't really switch the writing style representing the way a character thinks, and everyone ends up sounding like Marcus. This is annoying.

Glad to see all these chapters up on fimfic. I really enjoyed it, moreso than half of the ones on EQD...but that seems the case with many of the fics I read. I guess my tastes aren't up to snuff, lol.

Anyway, I really loved this fic. If you write more, I will be glad to read.

This chapter was Sooo big ! I mean it even slowed down my computer

FANTASTIC! BRILLIANT! STUPENDOUS!

I can't think up enough positive words to describe how amazing this fanfic is.

I am definitely looking forward to more of your work!

That was only the first chapter...

Book, whatever.

Wow.

Marcus giving pony scritches to Rarity! I am so jealous.

You are good...

No. Scratch that. You are amazing :)

I like how you worked with Marcus's thinking processes between dialogue.

You do a good job with his relationships between each character.

I can't find a flaw in this. Your fic makes mine rather pathetic :S

Five stars for you!

Having just finished reading this story for a second time in its entirety (easier to read than in snippet form ) I have to say its even better than I thought. Can't wait for the sequel to come out! Keep up the great work.

Nice to see the whole story up here John. It's still among my favorite MLP fanfics and I look forward to the sequel.

but I'm sure we'll meet again.

And it had BETTER NOT INVOLVE ME NEARLY DROWNING.

The End (for now)

I'm holding you to this. I WANT TO SEE MORE OF MARCUS ;_;

Insanity demands aside, thank you for making my 2012 january a fantastic month. And like I had said before; should you ever publish anything I WILL buy it. You are such an amazing writer.

If viewers were related to quality...

(350k word epic) < (20k word shipfic)

This isn't the case, great read.

(Deleted my last comment accidentally)

Shouldn't this be listed as 'complete' now?

As Artemetis said, reading the story in a more compiled form is even better than reading it in near daily segments on Spacebattles.

Curse you for writing this piece of awesomeness. I'm going to be up all night reading this, and I have class tomorrow.

>>136880136880

Read first, put off suffering consequences for later.

...

Words cannot describe your talent. I've been reading fanfictions for about three years now, and I can count on one hand the number of people with your skill level. I don't know if you'll even read this- I googled the title and got several relevant pages, you're a busy guy-, but I just want to say that I am well and truly awed and humbled.

Mystara has always been my favorite D&D setting, and I have to say that your story has been a joy to read thus far, thank you for sharing it with us!

This has been the best read I've had in a long time. I'm not familiar with D&D lore, but I am familiar enough with standard fantasy to glean the important parts. And it's one in the morning for me right now, so I kind of lost the train of thought I had.

Anyways, I want to thank you for taking me (all of us readers, really) on such a grand adventure. Life can be really shitty, but wordsmiths like you give us a reason to smile and somehow know that things will work out in the end.

I'll stop before I make even less sense. Good night, and thank you again.

>>138573138573

It was worth it.

I'm starting to think that all these memories are like past D&D characters.

You know, I'm curious. What happens if any of the ponies decide they don't want to be Immortals?

And this is a serious question, I played a character that turned down an offer because he didn't want to live forever and see everyone he cared about die. He also wasn't really that ambitious or felt a need to champion any cause. He wasn't a great hero or villain, just some poor shlub who could never seem to settle down. He'd gotten a taste of adventure, and while it scared the ***** out of him, he found that mundane life had somehow become banal.  I think the only reason my character got the offer was because my DM thought it would be funny to have the coward get the Path of Glory and have to take on mighty foes in single combat. He apparently thought Immortality was enough of a lure by itself. He guessed wrong.

This was an amazing part of the story. Trollestia is best pony. The scenes with her made me laugh so hard. And Immortality Mark Crusaders are all kinds of awesome. Derpy Hooves with a 5 million gold bounty was also incredibly badass. I love reading this story.

one sitting....started at 5 am ended at 1130pm. This was probebly the best used time all week. This story was great anf I hope to read more works by you. Full stars all around!

Okay, I've been going at this for days and days bit by bit - entering in a dubious 'it's Ponies & D&D, maybe it will be amusing, I'll read it till they encounter Twilight and see how it goes'

And then I kept going and through it all...it kept getting better. Remained faithful to its roots, and had oodles of references to things like Pac-Man, Cybermen, and I know I saw many others I'm forgetting about.

I guess what I'm saying is, I do terribly hope there is a sequel! I'd so very much love to read it. I mean, uhm, if that's alright with you

You, sir/madam, are a BUCKING GENIUS.  Not only did you seamlessly meld together Ponies and Mystara lore, but you managed to sneak in a PHINEAS AND FERB CAMEO.  (DJ Big D = Doof, girl in black selling "sausages" = Vanessa) .  You are now my idol.  Enjoy my shameless worship of your icon for ages to come...

Just realized something, why did he ask who Angle is? He already met the rabbit.

>>100176100176 Do you trust a small child to remember where they put EVERY trap and to make it so the entire thing wont spectacularly backfire and destroy you all? Bad enough it's a giant flying death trap, but you're relying on the safety standards of small children on top of that.

>>195270195270

... I believe you may have misinterpreted the use of the phrase 'deathtrap'. 'Deathtrap' generally refers to something that is incredibly unsafe - the fact that a child designed it might be the _reason_ it's a deathtrap, but that still doesn't explain why he feels the need to add 'designed by a child' after already stating that it is a deathtrap.

As for your points - no, I don't expect the architect to remember where they placed the design features of something they are no longer working on. However, I do expect residents to be familiar with all the features of their home. Especially when it is their job to help maintain it. And, to preempt the obvious statement that the ship is not their home - it's their clubhouse. Their home-away-from-home.

Your second point about it backfiring merely feeds into the defintion of 'deathtrap'.

You see, by design, the vessel is a giant, floating fortress. It is supposed to be lethal to anything within range of its weapons, and a place of safety to those who are meant to be within it. What makes it a deathtrap is the fact that it is potentially incredibly dangerous to be on board it in general, not just if you are an enemy.

>>285997285997

Hmm?

That was a lot of words, but it's also an equal amount of kinds of awesome!

Seriously, best night of reading ever!

I'm so gonna read all of it!... though not tonight, that would be insane

But I love it!

-Glassed

The nearly 3 sleepless nights I spent reading this was so worth it. Thank you for writing this.

You know, looking back I realize that this was the first piece of MLP fanfiction that I ever read, courtesy of TV Tropes providing a link to lure me in. I wasn't even all that familiar with the series yet at the time, but Mystara has always been one of my favorite (A)D&D settings...so in a sense this story has to take its share of blame for pulling me into the fandom in the first place.

I. REGRET. NOTHING.

I know your writing from anime fanfics, so seeing what you did with MLP was quite a treat.

I'm only through chapter one (which is certainly enough text to be ten chapters by anyone else's standards), and I'm enjoying it a lot.  Though Marcus's twitchiness can sometimes get a little tiring.  I feel like his narration is screaming DON'T RELAX every other paragraph. Come on Marcus, Twilight isn't out to kill you.

This is the third time I've read this story from beginning to end. Fucking awesome!

So I have to ask, will there be a sequel in the future?

This was a really impressive story that felt true to both D&D and FiM.  Good job.  I think you sold a human/pony romance in the only possible way I could buy into it, by presenting it in the context of a D&D world where there are all sorts of intelligent beings running around and shapeshifting magics to overcome compatibility issues.

>>523070523070

Yes, there will be a sequel.  I am currently working on some other projects but the main sequel will be called 'The Time Monster' and will star the Immortality Mark Crusaders (aka the Cutie Mark Crusaders).

(I have this story marked incomplete so that when I start the sequel, I can add a chapter with an internal link to the next story.)

...I think,...i think i need to read that other fic first...confused...

Wait a sec, this is your only story? Where´s the one of Marcus being Erik and meeting Twi?

Okay, so... there´s no prequel to this fic?

Kinda confusing when he´s worried about stuff we never read before, like how Spitfire/Soarin have their own reasons to kill him.^^