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  • 26w, 4d
    A Proper Lady is Up

    The next of the short stories, A Proper Lady, starring Rarity, is up.

    2 comments · 90 views
  • 27w, 3d
    Upcoming Story: A Proper Lady

    The next short story, A Proper Lady, starring  Rarity, will be up within a week or two.  Here's a teaser:

    “Fluvia Grace must have the *finest* dress in all the lands of human, pony, or elf,” the strange pony in my shop said to me; she was overdressed for the season with a black furry rounded hat on her head, trimmed in white fur, a huge black shawl around her neck, and a long black dress trimmed with white fur which was elegant but baggy, not well fitted to her body.  “Fluvia has heard that Rarity is the finest of all seamstresses, who can make a dress for *anyone*.”

    Fluvia Grace was an Earth Pony, her coat pale yellow with a long blue mane that flowed in long locks around her neck and shoulders.  She constantly shivered as if eager to spring into action but holding herself back.

    “You have come to the right place,” I told her.  “Black is really not your color, but let’s see…”

    “Fluvia always wears black, it is her signature!” she said proudly.  “Like a magnificent Orca!”

    I have never had a customer who wanted to appear like a whale.  Well, I can suggest alternatives at least, though I now feared this would end badly.

    “Also, it must handle water well,” Fluvia continued.  “And match my hat.”

    Hmm, I am loaded with felt, but the hat has a fur outer layer, and I am short on black and white fur.  The hat actually is nice, so perhaps I don’t have to replace it.

    “What sort of fur is this?” I asked curiously, touching the white fur trim of her current dress.

    “Polar Bear, of course!” she said proudly.

    Of course.  

    Polar bears and whales.  

    Where am I going to get polar bear fur in Equestria?  Unless…  Idea!

    If you shave a shapeshifted druid, they’ll grow back, right?

    I wouldn’t want to leave Fluttershy naked, but surely a druid can trivially repair such a thing.

    In fact, so many kinds of fur…

    It was hard to wipe the bits from my eyes.  I couldn’t let Fluttershy shave me for something like this, so I can’t ask her, but now the idea won’t leave my head.

    I’ll figure out something.  

    “Where did you buy this?” I asked her curiously.  “I don’t recognize the style.”

    “Kaarjala!  It’s a long trip, but the cool waters of the north are very relaxing in the summer,” she said.  “And my beloved loves to go there to train!”

    I’ve never even heard of it.  “I will do my best, but I must regretfully inform you that I am not used to Kaarjalan fashions,” I told her.  It galled me to admit it, but there is normally little call for such styles here.  But I will learn!  I must be ready for the next time.

    There *will* be a next time if I do a good job here.

    “Stargazer assured Fluvia you are a great fashionista, so Fluvia has confidence in you!  Stargazer is always well-dressed,” Fluvia said firmly.  

    And it all gets destroyed by the end, then she has to buy more clothing from me.  That’s Stargazer.  She’s a Unicorn adventuress who summons constellation spirits.  And gets into dangerous adventures which leave her clothing in tatters on a regular basis but give her the money to buy more.  “Oh, you’re a friend of Stargazer,” I said warmly.  Stargazer’s purchases paid for my new bed, the last repairs on my roof, and a new oven, among other things.  

    Oh, I should get Marcus to study those gems she paid me with last time and determine if they’re safe to use!  Wherever I put them.

    “She is my wicked rival in love,” Fluvia wailed.  “She is a terrible person.”  She dramatically fainted, crashing into my model-horses, which fell on her.  

    Best not to stick my head into this.  I began magically lifting my modelhorses back into place as she got up.  “I will create some mockups today but I have to see about getting the right kind of fur for you, and that may take a while.”

    “Fluvia has to go visit the local druid, so she can stick around town a few days,” she told me.

    “Oh, you know Fluttershy?” I asked; she’d never mentioned Fluvia.

    “That’s her name, yes!  Her… Fluvia doesn’t know the right word… Fluvia has been sent to help her practice elemental forms,” Fluvia said.  “And seeing your shop, I thought I would try it out, since Stargazer is always so well dressed.”

    Ahh, she seeks to outdo her rival.  I will have to put some extra effort into this.  I understand how she must feel.  Not that I have a romantic rival at present, but I have been there.

    I gave her the directions and was busy with a tentative design when there was a loud crashing noise, followed by a scream and the sound of my mailbox dying again.

    Fluvia was outside before I could go check, and as I came out, I heard her yelling about mimics.  Everything was now wet, my mailbox was smashed into tiny bits and Ditzy, Sweetie, and her friends were all tangled into a knot on the ground as Fluvia jumped up and down on the remains of my mailbox.  “It will never menace the innocent again!” she said, then struck a heroic pose.

    My mail was now sopping wet, though one of the items was a scrollcase sealed with both the Aendyr seal and Lady Aendyr’s personal seal!  I secured that, then helped everyone up.  “Should I even ask?”

    “No, never ever ask,” Scootaloo said bitterly.

    “I’m sorry,” Ditzy said.  “Dinky dear, no fogbanks at ground level!”

    “Sorry, Mom,” Dinky said, hanging her head.

    I could tell this would be a long day; I would save the letter to be dessert to wash the aggravation out of my mouth.

    5 comments · 113 views
  • 75w, 3d
    Lyra Heartstrings of Vanya Story Up

    I just posted my next short story; the title is a joke on 'John Carter of Mars'; it's an adventure starring Bon-Bon, Lyra, and... Spike?  It'll make sense when you read it.

    This story sends them to Glantri for Bon-Bon to give a talk on shapeshifting at a wizard convention, but of course, nothing is ever that simple.

    (Not that wizard conventions are EVER simple.)

    3 comments · 172 views
  • 105w, 5d
    Second Short Story: 2000% Cooler

    I should be posting 2000% Cooler,  a Dash short story in the Friendship is Adventuring Continuity within a few days, if all goes well.

    8 comments · 187 views
  • 120w, 1d
    Friendship is Adventuring short stories

    I've started a set of short stories in this universe; eventually I will write the big sequel, the Time Monster, but I just wanted to try some short pieces first.

    Hope you enjoy!

    7 comments · 152 views
  • ...

Only fools, madmen, and adventuring parties go into the Malpheggi, the swamp beyond the Everfree Forest. It can be left as an exercise for the reader as to which of these categories Samus Marcus (a Thyatian swordsman, or so he says) and Ivan (his companion in trouble) fall into. When they are rescued by the registered adventuring party, the Elements of Harmony, a grand quest across the D&D world of Mystara begins. Together they face culture shock, international politics, romance, dungeons, and a dragon with a grudge as Marcus learns how to trust his new friends and make up for his past mistakes while the Elements of Harmony try to save Equestria from a threat which proves more... complicated... than they originally thought. Also, pie.  And hats.  A D&D (Mystara)/MLP Crossover.  

First Published
16th Nov 2011
Last Modified
20th May 2014

Mystara was the first fantasy game world I play in. Gonna check out this. :)


Me too.  I first played in 1982 with the Basic and Expert Sets; Mystara grew out of the world map in the Isle of Dread adventure and the Expert rules.

Yes yes yes yes yes.mp4

Amazing, deserves its 5.0 star rating.

And wow, 40K words in the first chapter? :twilightsmile: God I love books

Anyway, I can't WAIT for an update. This story is so well told. Such good characterization on an OC pony, but also splendid interactions with the mane6. My only fear is that it will take forever to see another 40K word chapter update.

So glad to see you spreading this story around! A tale of this quality deserves the spotlight. :twilightsmile:

MANUEL OF THE PLAINS!:rainbowkiss::rainbowderp:

So much recognition from reading that Principalities of Glantri module back at the uni somewhere in the 90s... Induced nostalgia and ponies!:eeyup:

I have the Glantri book as a PDF; it was very useful for writing this.:yay:

Oh sweet Jesus, my life is complete.

Oh, you poor fools have NO idea.

The story is already done.  He's just teasing it out for the evilutz.  (and proofreading)

You have no idea of how totally awesome it's going to get.  It's so awesome even Rainbow Dash fainted from the awesome. :pinkiegasp:

I like this!^_^

It's really great!^_^

A good fanfiction!^_^

I never heard of Mystara before, but I like it now!^_^

So, is Marcus going to wind up with Twilight? I like Marcus, he is really cool!^_^ And what about Ivan, will he wind up with Rainbow Dash, or will Ivan wind up with some other pony like Fluttershy or maybe even Pinkie perhaps when thios adventure's over?

>>34328 If Ivan doesn't wind up with Rainbow Dash, maybe you could open up a time/space hole and drop Ranma on her right then.^_^

Yeah there man!^_^


>>34339 It could even go like this

(Rainbow Dash is with her friends when a strange portal suddenly rips open.

Out falls a human.

He gets up, looks around, and says "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."

Rainbow Dash says "Did you say... Ranma Saotome?"

Ranma says "Yes. Um. Why?"

Rainbow goes back to her cloudhome, returns, and presents a scroll to Ranma.

---I Genma Saotome promise that in exchange for a way off this world I will give my first born son to be wedded to the first born daughter of my new friends Cloud and Starshine Dash. -Genma Saotome. Age 21.---

Rainbow says "They're my parents. I'm Rainbow Dash. Your new fiancee.")

That's about how Ranma's life goes.  But despite my tendency to megacrossover, this story will stick to just Mystara and MLP.:coolphoto:

Also, no. Marcus is hooked up with best pony, and Ivan with METAL! pony.  And it all makes hilariously awesome sense.:rainbowlaugh:

In the end, it'll all go according to her plan. :trollestia:

Richardson, please don't post spoilers.  :pinkiesad2:  Let them experience it on their own.  

I never said who best pony was.

Or who 'her' is.


Bad Richardson, *smacks with a fish* no Spoilers. Everyone knows what ponies you're talking about there.

Sadly Marcus actually ends up with worst pony :(


The old paper thing is nestled in my bookshelf; it is read apart, so to speak:heart:

cool story bro, i only have one thing to say: MOAR!!!

This story has a total word count of 337,763 words, so this is only just over 13% of the story. There are 6 books + per character epilogues on John Bile's personal website;

Fuck EQD John, this story is too good to be lumped with the crap that gets linked their anyway.

wow even  through its very very long, i enjoyed every second reading it and thats very rare.

I thank you deeply for this.


Thanks!  I greatly enjoyed writing it.  :yay:

You have combined My favorite hobby with ponies. Good luck and may all the ponies love be with you.

Very funny!

I'd expect Ixion to have been Celestia's patron, or Celestia beeing one of his mortal avatars (he is a furry and like going around in drag, but don't tell anyone).

Boatmurdered reference = funny

No, I didn't have any plans for the rest of the weekend... :pinkiehappy:

hmmm the facts leet me to a intersting possibiliy

1) Marcus doesn't really know his own past

2) polymorphing mess with your brain if they are applied too long

3) Marcus polymorphed many times

4) he has a Tatoo on his but, which resembles a cutie mark (5 Jacks)

5) he says he's a Jack of every color

I call it now, Marcus was born as a Pony :twilightsheepish:

Incredible. You made Equestria and the Ponies live in a dangerous world without turning the story grim-dark. You even kept the characters completely accuarate! With all the dangers and the politcal intruige the series remains pretty happy and humourous! The ponies are good and cheerful without being overly naieve, or getting crushed by the world they live in.

If you manage to avoid tyrant celestia, you will have succeced in writing.

I will go ahead and say there is no Tyrant Celestia in this story.

Wow, when you say BOOK 1 you really mean it, this is the longest fanfic I've read, and it's easily on par with (if not better than) most novels I've read. I am truly impressed.

I don't know how you find the time to write these epics, but I hope they continue.

Good lord. This was awesome. Also, wicked rad to see Boatmurdered dropped in there, if only for a sentence or two.:moustache:


Yup, only a sentence or two. :scootangel:

I wounder if you can bake a quadratic equation?

like in a cake or in cupcake form? or both? :trixieshiftright:

someone get on that

this is sooo amazing. worth staying up into the wee hours of the morning to read. (thats the only time i have time to read.)

and, also.


Been a fan of John's work since I first read Children of an Elder God way back when so I read this as it came out piece by piece over at Spacebattles. I loved it then, just as I do now - especially as I think this is the part of the story where ALL the characters really begin to get fleshed out with additional backstory, not just Samus and Ivan but everypony too. Keep up the good work - and don't take too long with that sequel! :pinkiehappy:

This fic makes me believe the characters from the show are someone's old characters from a D&D campaign.


There are a lot of incidents in this story based on my experiences running D&D since 1982.  :twilightsmile:

This story is brilliant, if a little confusing. 5/5 :pinkiehappy:


Glad you're enjoying it.  What do you find confusing?

>>60069 I don't get who is Asterius guy is and why Ivan is so depressed by him, and I often find myself re reading parts because I lose track of where everyone is and what's happening. I think it's more me trying to speed read everything than the writing though. I'm still enjoying it a lot.

So I have to say that I cheated and went to your site, and then downloaded all of the stories and read them in a day. And then I was curious at how long it took me to read them, so I looked into printing them to put into one coherent manuscript. This is longer than than the complete works of Amber. this is an epic. I love it, i love you, i've reread this twice since then. I wish my D&D party was less "burnmaimkill" and more pony.


This is wonderful. I don't really know how else to describe it - the comedy is written as part of the adventure, and yet somehow, despite being almost omnipresent, fails to detract from the narrative. Although, having a protagonist who is technically immortal should really be somethign of a downside for a story - even if his brand of immortality apparently does  not stop him from dying horrible, horrible deaths.

A fine Christmas present! I loved the Canterlot scenes when you where releasing this on Spacebattles - Celestia and her flirty behaviour is so much fun to read :pinkiehappy:

Can't wait to re-read the next book!

2.5k views? What is this blasphemy?!

This was an incredible read.... Just bleeding amazing. I daresay the quality was close to the level of George RR Martin. At the end I felt as if I had read a good dozen chapters from A Song of Ice and Fire. That, is no mean feat whatsoever.

I am highly impressed in general, I couldn't find something to bitch about if I tried- Oh wait, I can, because I'm the bitchlord (Yes, that is the nickname people gave me). The countries and the races. After a few were introduced I had NO clue anymore whom was what and what whom was nor what a country was like. It was even harder to follow than how RR Martin introduces over two dozen knights in half a chapter.

That, however, brings me to what truly brought this piece to RR Martin level: The believeablity. I could HONESTLY believe that everyone one of those characters could exist in that universe. Of course it's a fantasy, but we're not talking about reality after all! The countries, the ideals, the people and the behaviours all seemed extremely well put together. Like a stick figure (bear with me), the ideas are simple but if you don't properly put them together then nobody will ever even TRY to believe it.

That, is what this story excelled at most of all.

Also: HATS!!!

Just read your entire story.

This is excellent. Chapters are quite long, but worth it. I've enjoyed the character development.

The flashback with the dwarves, it brings back memories of a dwarf paladin I played that was obsessed with collecting eyes, ended up building a house out of them in a later campaign, good times, good times.

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