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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Actually really good! I prefer this to an evil mastermind
PFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OH
OH WOW
That was awesome.
BTW Memory eraser? Men in Black?
So you take inspiration from a beautifully macabre black comedy/tragedy like Ask Pinkamena, and turn it into this? This has no intrinsic value what so ever other than to gore fetishists. You take the extreme moral corruption of Scootabuse and add the throwaway irrelevant torture porn of Cupcakes. You write a contrived fic based on the worst the fandom has to offer and actually try to spin it with weak justification and ridiculous plot twists? If M Night Shyamalan and Uwe Boll co-directed a remake of Saw written by a 13 year old it would be better than this.
I liked this one quite a bit, congrats on making a believable inbetween of the psychotic cupcakes Pinkamina and having Celestia delivering the numbers. Gives her a sense of purpose as to why she would do it other than just seemingly unwilling but perfectly capable. Pinkie Pie, protege of Surprise and assassin of Celestia... Kind of epic in a way.
33368
Thats what I thought!
33372 I believe the author has the right to post whatever he wants, and perhaps some constructive criticism would have been better than an all out rant. But, as I have no right to dictate what you say, I will kindly disagree with your statement.
33691
It's all good, I get more than enough praise to feed my ego, and laugh at anyone that doesn't like my work. The funniest bit is when they start complaining about the parts that I myself hate.
I do appreciate constructive criticism, however.
You know, that's really nice piece of work. Its way more creepy with all that Pinkie Pie's preparations and explanations, approve from Princess and, sadly, it's plausible - Dash often cruel and careless toward anypony except her friends (remember her 'pranks' at Nightmare Night, when Spike nearly died from suffocation and she just shrugged it off). Good point with cutting wings, and just perfect touch with forgiveness.
Thought, I don't really like whole erasing memories thing. Too 'tyrannycal' and mind-controlling.
Not really a fan of this kind of shit...
but...
i57.photobucket.com/albums/g215/cooldude_675/BRILLIANT.jpg
33691
Yes he can post what he wants, I never said otherwise. I didn't say this shouldn't exist. I said it has no intrinsic value. Most trollfics like this tend not to.
And that WAS criticism. Sorry if it seemed rant-y. If I had wanted to rant it would be about the themes and character perversion and the irrelevance of trollfics in general, not the quality of the writing and contrivance of the plot.
It's hard to be constructive with a story this bad though. I mean if someone mounts a shelf on the wall and it's crooked, you can be constructive and say "The shelf is crooked, yo."
But if someone tries to mount a shelf made of wet tissues all you can really say is "You can't make a shelf of wet tissues, yo. Fail."
And I got no problem with you disagreeing with me. A lot of people like dark and gore fics like this. I don't really get the point, but to each their own. But can you really say this fic is GOOD, other than providing you with the subject matter you crave? If this same fic had the grimdark stuff removed would you still like it? Cause what I'm saying here is that the fic is weak and only the grimdark shoch and gore is propping it up.
If you want a good Grimdark Fic without a case of "derp plot" read "The Cough" by Ebon Mane.
If you want an actually scary/creepy fic that doesn't need grimdark to work, read "The Silent Shore" by The Descendant.
34794
This makes me laugh. Really. This was the nice ending. You wanna see sadistic gore? Go read my editor's version on my DA page. That guy makes me look like Dr Seuss. The funniest thing is you are damning my story yet praising the Ask PDP blog it was inspired by. It was far more twisted than anything I wrote, although I give him major points for making it funnier than i did. But then, i was trying for a more serious, plausible approach, in contrast to the horrible trollfic that all of this stuff was based off of.
But hey, as always, I can't please everyone, and I don't even try. Feel free to hate my story all you want. I reserve the right to laugh at all haters for taking anything too seriously.
34860
"This makes me laugh. Really. This was the nice ending. You wanna see sadistic gore? Go read my editor's version on my DA page. That guy makes me look like Dr Seuss."
You are missing the point entirely. You are so expecting people to take issue with the content that that is what you are reading into my comments. While I don't really like shockfics in general, since they are mostly pointless or badly written, I am not saying this fic is bad because it is a shockfic. I am saying it's bad regardless of the content. THE. PLOT. IS. RIDICULOUS.
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"The funniest thing is you are damning my story yet praising the Ask PDP blog it was inspired by. It was far more twisted than anything I wrote, although I give him major points for making it funnier than i did."
I praise it because it's GOOD.The level of twisted is not the issue here. Also the only thing your story has in common with that blog is that Pinkamena and Scootaloo are together. In that blog it's left ambiguous as to whether Rainbow is alive or not, Pinkamena is just a psycho cannibal/rapist/torturer/murderer. As laid out in ask Scootaloo the Sadist (and confirmed by Trees as very close to his own cannon) Scoots was adopted by Pinkamena when she pulled Scoots' father's number. She found that Scoots had already killed her mother (both her parents were physically abusing her). The whole "Scoots was a victim of sexual predators and was Rainbow Dash's lover" comes from ask ScootalooPie.
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"But then, i was trying for a more serious, plausible approach, in contrast to the horrible trollfic that all of this stuff was based off of."
Oh god. This is what I was worried about. I can't believe you wrote this as anything other than a troll fic. It's SO STUPID. Every plot twist. Every leap of logic. Every iota of backstory or explanation. It's funny, but not in a good way. In a Plan 9 form Outer Space way. It's not serious because it can't be taken seriously because it's not plausible from any sort of logical perspective.
I am not joking when I say this was one of the worst fics I have ever read INCLUDING THE CLOPFICS.
Here: let me quote what I posted elsewhere when giving a rundown of Grimfics:
"I feel Cupcakes, out of all the grimdark shockfics and trollfics is probably the overall most respectable because it didn't try to be anything it wasn't. It was torture-porn plain and simple and went with that. It didn't have a plot, just a premise and didn't try to make the reader think about why everything was happening, just experience the pain and terror of it.
The reason I don't like all the spinoffs and derivatives is because they are ironically trying to respond seriously to something that was never meant to be taken seriously.
Your comics on the other hand, treat the fic exactly as it is: a shocking description of a horrible thing that exists for no reason other than to troll the reader.
As for other fics like this:
-I've never heard of that "Butterflies" one.
-"Rainbow Factory" is the next big craze, it's kind of a Soylent Green with pegasi and rainbows instead of bums and food. It goes wrong by trying to tell a ridiculous story based on a laughable premise. It then tries to elicit an emotional response by copping Cupcakes' winning formula of having 2 beloved characters as the victim and tormentor, Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash respectively.
-"The End of the Rainbow: Director's Cut" puts a spin on Cupcakes by, through enough stupid plot twists to make N. Night Shyamalan balk, casting Pinkie as a dark judge, righteously punishing Rainbow Dash for Scootabuse and being Equestria's most prolific child molester. Yeah. Anyway it would take too long to list the additional retardation in this fic cause it's like every 2 sentences I was facepalming.
-"Love.Sick" Is more of a real horror. I haven't read it myself but it was written for halloween so the author just put as much horrible death in it as he could.
The ONLY grimdark shockfic that truly has merit in my opinion is "The Cough". It is not gore porn, it's very well written flash fiction. And it got onto Equestria Daily.
If you want a really amazing horror without the grimdark and death read "The Silent Shore"."
35078
Wait, you're still at this? Hold on, lemme laugh harder.
Thanks for you opinion, please move along.
35141
Ok, last thing I'm going to say on this matter. I don't care if you don't like my story. It's your right to like or not like whatever you want. But just like I tell my pissed off customers at work, if 500 people walk through my door and are happy with the way I greet them, then you walk in and don't like it, the problem lies with you, not my greeting. So thank you for coming, have a nice day!
35078 This is the best grimdark thing I've read for a while. So... silence.
35150
Alright. Sorry to hurt your feelings with my high standards. Good luck.
So, Dash is a serial child molester, and Pinkie goes Dexter on her - interesting setup. Can't say I wasn't entertained, I just wish that the build up (Pinkie investigating Dash's crimes) was a bit longer before it turned into a Cupcakes clone.
The ending was rocky, we get Pinkie explaining about how she forgets along with the rest of town because "doesn't enjoy murdering her friends", and then paragraphs later... well... she's throwing body parts about and getting off on Dash's screams as she straddles her.
And I can get why you wrote Scootaloo into the torture scene - reading the comments, I guess you were inspired by the tumblr - but it just doesn't mesh with the story's internal logic. Scootaloo seems to jive with the whole "brutal dismemberment of another pony" thing a little too easily. And why would Pinkie, supposedly being the "moral enforcer", do something that would traumatize a child?
Yeah, I'm way overthinking a story about pastel horses from a children's television show murdering one another... The horrors of 1am
All that aside, I just want to say, I lost my shit when I saw "I Can't Decide" written into the fic
i agree with princess coldarra
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6deaHpJOb8&feature=related
Yes, well you have to remember that to deal with something really bad, sometimes we need to hand the reins over to something equally bad inside ourselves. Pinkie was damaged as a child, and while the memories have been suppressed, the damage is still there. And now the torch is being passed to an equally damaged Scootaloo. As she said, a touch of madness helps. It's pulling back afterwards that separates the true monsters from the people that just do what needs done, even if they have to become a monster for awhile.
Think of it like a soldier psyching up before combat. You go in, you do what needs to be done, but you have to find a way to live with it afterwards. Some do it well, some are forever changed. Some just become slowly ticking timebombs, until they can no longer deal with what they have done. Like Surprise.
Lets just hope Pinkie and Scootaloo find peace with what they are. (or are becoming)
Thank you,now I have a new favorite song.
imho, the first step to a good fanfic is a cool, creative concept
Dexter + Cupcakes? Great idea. Easily better than the other MLP/Dexter crossover/fusion ideas I've seen.
But the execution....? Kinda wack if you ask me.....
For one thing the set-up inadvertently undermines the core conflict of the entire Dexter series by A) having Dexkie kill someone who isn't ACTUALLY killing someone, even indirectly, and B) having her drag Scootaloo into this mess, pretty much against her will. Like, wow, way to be a good Adoptive Mommy, Pinkie. Dexter Morgan would never in a million years pull that crap with a innocent child victim. Pinkie gives her all this guidance then almost immediately contradicts it. I mean, I get that its meant to be a grimdark tumblr tribute but meh. The AskScootaloo origin story was way cooler and much creepier than this.
“And then everypony forgets all about the bad, sick, and old ponies, so they never miss them!”
^^^ - wait, so when Grandma dies of old age, Pinkie throws a party, whips out the MIB neuralizer, and everypony forgets about Grandma? The fuck?
"Never let revenge or personal agenda enter into it."
*2 paragraph breaks later* "CUT OFF THE BITCH'S WINGS! YEEEEEE HAW!"
*another 6 paragraph breaks later* "WOW I'M SO COMFORTABLE WITH MURDER NOW, I WISH I COULD SHOW SWEETIE BELL HOW I TORTURED RAINBOW DASH TO DEATH!" lolwtf?
And about that Cupcakes torture scene..........
Really, what's the point?
DPV111 was wrong. This has no intrinsic value to Gorefic fans because all of the gore is a freakin' re-run! BORRRR-RIIINNG. If you're showing me a Cupcakes Pinkie story in 2012, you need to give me some new gore. The dude who wrote the "A Precious Rainbow" Cupcakes sequel - which is predominantly a squishy tearjerker Appledash fic mind you - did some "Pinkamena's Diary" chapters that made both the torture porn AND psychological horror elements of Sgt. Sprinkles original look like a fucking ButterScotchSundae shipfic. Lord Xaos's ridiculously epic Cupcakes sequel is past 100,000 words now and he still managed to put a horrifically creative twist on the concept in the latest chapter. (Pegasus Pot Pie! YUMMMMM) Get my drift? Watching Dash get her Cutie Marks sliced off AGAIN (and that's it?) is about as thrilling as watching public domain stock footage of sheep grazing. If more time had been spent developing Dash instead of just setting up her murder ASAP, this story could've ended with “You’re such a good kid.” and been MUCH more effective.
The Scissor Sisters song was brilliant tho.
/compliment sandwich
*Fwomp* Out came the wings of the blue flier. Wingboner? O3O
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1088221
Wingboner
1095469
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That. Was. Awesome.
This
IS
AWESOME!