Sometimes, ponies become friends because of interests. Sometimes, ponies become friends because of relations. And sometimes, ponies become friends because one is very random and the other has a fascination with their behavior.
Moon Dancer, a mare who likes to be on her own, has an unusual encounter with a stallion named Party Favor. Despite their awkward introduction and differences in interests, both of them seem to relate quite effectively. See how the two work out though their trials and every day lives.
Artwork from a very good friend of mine, HerDrawings. https://instagram.com/her_drawings/
Chapters (21)
watched. plz continue.
Loose her glasses. Meet Guy.
Holy shades of La Boheme.
6301912 I have put too much thought into this story. No way am I backing out on it now, regardless of view count
6305626 i think the best way to get readers is posting it on at a good time. I like to post my stories about 10-11 in the morning. However, when I had this story up for submission and took until 5 and my other story 7. As such, the views can be drastically effected for the worst.
Okay... that was adorable.
Seriously, I never thought about how a dynamic between Party Favor and Moon Dancer would be like; you made it work in the most touching way, with Party Favor being so silly and childlike, enough for Moon Dancer to take a liking toward him. It also helps that he runs on a weird logic that sparked her curiosity.
Keep writing, I want to see where this goes!
Party Favor is my favorite Pony of Season 5 and my top three of all the series, I was amazed by his skill with his balloons, and seeing that he had wandered in Our Town with Starlight Glimmer for a time, it is safe to say that he probable has self-esteem issues due to his skills being under appropriated or ridiculed by his entourage, because of the impracticalness of his balloons. Still his shy silliness is interesting coupled with Moondancer's reclusive tendency and credulousness make for an interesting pair.
I am hoping to see more of this story.
Its funny how you match these two, I liked.
What an adorable story of Party Favor and Moondancer. I hope to see more of these too.
6485374 I just hope the people in charge of this site increase the roster of characters so I can label this story without having to have (other) as the only characters available.
This was a wonderful story! All on its own it could be a great little one shot but knowing I have more to come is exciting! I enjoy your portrayal of these two very different characters and how they compliment one another. Great job!
6655086 Thanks. I do plan on updating this story soon after I work on my main story. I already have half of the next chapter done, so that is at least a good thing for my readers on this one. Expect chapters to be a bit long because each chapter is going to have a lot of meat to chew on.
Hope you like that.
I'm mildly disappointed with this chapter. I had expected that the surprise party in fact was for Moondancer, and her forgetting her own birthday (which I predicted since she's definitely that type of forgetful horse) just ticked my expectations forward on that. That it wasn't in fact for Moon Dancer and was instead for Princess Cadance came out of the blue, since otherwise Lemon Hearts or Party Favor would have not been so hesitant to mention the exact function. Even then, I thought maybe Party Favor was lying to throw Moondancer off, and thought ill of Moondancer - after all, if she thought it was a surprise birthday party for her, Party Favor wouldn't give it away either, so saying 'Princess Cadance' could have been a cover-up.
This segment here really 'confirmed' my viewpoint:
Where Lemon Hearts wished to get Moondancer out of the way because she had just stumbled upon the preparation for her own birthday party. Instead, it just makes Lemon Hearts seem like a dick in retrospect, wanting to get her friend to leave.
Also, do you realise that you call her 'Lemon Hearts' for several instances in the first part of the chapter, then Lemon Drops for the rest of the chapter thereafter?
7679320 Perhaps I should have done the surprise party much differently. Also, thanks for pointing out the Lemon Hearts and Drops error. I will fix that.
Well, I guess that at least rectifies my complaints about the previous chapter. It just feels a little bit odd, I guess, though: these two chapters each are fairly long, so it seems odd that everypony confesses to forgetting Moon Dancer's birthday, only to reveal they were holding out really hard in the next chapter. Had these been shorter chapters, I would have expected this to be something 'that happens in the next chapter', but for longer chapters like this, thematically the events lose a bit of connection where I think "Oh yeah, after the size of this chapter and seeing the word length of next chapter, there's no way this event will happen next chapter after the ending to this chapter".
Party Favor, if you're so hopeless at directions, maybe you shouldn't have moved to the big city
I'm mildly surprised that Twilight didn't have an aneurysm over Night Light's ability to do a lot of weird, physics-breaking stuff with his balloons. She probably had enough self-inflicted injuries and injuries from others in her adventure to figure out the Pinkie sense. At least Moondancer is apparently capable of taking it in stride more, merely looking into the science behind it instead of stalking Party Favor all day
7681208 I have been thinking about making these chapters shorter. I have been working on this story. I just need to edit some things. The reason behind the longer chapters is because I want to put a lot of words into a chapter, giving it it's own episode. Perhaps it should depend on how long it is and what is going to happen within it.
Moondancer needs to do an ethics review before doing any studies. She didn't do one here, and just asking Party Favor's permission isn't sufficient. Well, it's probably something Twilight Sparkle would do, so ethics in horseland might not be quite as cut and dry as they should be.
It's a good thing that Party Favor keeps a key on hand, because he might not be able to unlock it through other means when he doesn't have his Cutie Mark on him...
(Perhaps Moondancer should look into getting contacts)
Don't know why Party Favor needs a blindfold on in the sauna. After all, they don't normally wear clothes
I'm sure if Twilight is around Party Favor much longer she'll go nuts along with Moondancer from trying to figure out how is party balloon magic works and not getting anywhere close to solving it.
Scootaloo's special talent is hyperactivity after this chapter
Well, at least Moondancer is getting out of her comfort zone as she so states, going to yet another party! The real question is if she gets to wear a Cutie Mark Crusader cape or not, and if she does, what the design will be like
Noooo, don't do shorter chapters. Down that path lies darkness, and evil, and chapters so short I read them in three or four minutes and go "Wait, that's it?"
If Party Favor is capable of making balloon cameras, then that would imply he is capable of creating balloon lenses. He should find out the prescription on Moondancer's glasses. Then the next time she loses her glasses, just give her a set of balloon glasses, made to order for exactly the eye strength she needs. Much cheaper than regular glasses!
7898811 You may have given me an idea for a chapter.
I'm sorry! I am only one person and can only do so much. At least the story will have more uploads more often from now on
But thanks for commenting on my stories. It's nice to see an active reader return and comment.
So Minuette's Cutie Mark is being able to put a project together in the nick of time, maybe?
How would I contact HerDrawings?
7915021 I think her Tumblr but I can ask her personally.
I feel like Minuette could do with having this as an animated picture on her wall
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/8/14/957735.gif
Minuette doesn't tell Twilight that she could have defeated Nightmare Moon in five minutes flat, if only she had waited until there was five mintues before it was all hopeless. For understandable reasons, Twilight would gnash her teeth
I'm sad now that I have caught up with this fun story. Till next time then.
Awesome work author
7947891 Thanks, I really needed that boost of encouragement.
7948081
Don't think people aren't enjoying.
7957521 Thanks. I may not be super recognized, but I just do as I do as a writer: write.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Meganekko
8027349 I think you can see where this is going :3
Well, that's a perfect moment for Minuette to capture
Maybe if Moondancer goes without her Cutie Mark, she'll find that she no longer has the talent to keep loosing her glasses. Zing!
7915024
Please do so, I want to know if she'll draw my OCs.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/7/30/386775/thumb.gif
Alright, finally got to reading up to Chapter 6. Thought it might be a good place to stop for now, considering the word length of the remaining chapters, though I'll get to those once I can.
Narrative-wise, neat introduction and circumstances surrounding it. Particularly love the dynamic you had cast with each other. I do think, however, that the events that lead to the majority of Chapter 4 are a little bit redundant, but it doesn't desaturate the crux of the relationship, so it's fine. On the flip side, I'm intrigued about Moondancer's search for her purpose. It's certainly an interesting way to let our characters grow and watch their relationship progress.
As for the story itself, there's the usual grammatical shtick, though it's not jarring enough to tear through the immersion, nothing a little read-through can fix. Some of it does affect pacing though, which could easily be resolved with conjunctions (your 'but's, 'and's, 'because's and 'although's). I do think there's a lot of unnecessary bits of telling happening. From this chapter alone, I spotted a few:
Taking away the underlined portions of each sentence doesn't do anything to tell us what we already know. It would definitely improve upon the pacing of the story by leaps and bounds, so nothing will feel too long and drawn out. Some of it, you can replace with a little bit of showing over telling. The last sentence on the list in particular could be modified to show their eagerness over telling it straight out to us and could also be used in a way that emphasizes Moondancer's response to their eagerness. Taking into account the use of conjunctions, it may end up looking a little like this:
Just note that this takes time and a whole lotta practice to get it down, and even then, there's no guarantee the impact wouldn't be softened either. One way to really gauge how impactful it is is reading the story out loud, as if you're telling it at a campfire. It's a surefire method that could help out not only with the descriptions, but also with many other things as well. There's probably other ways of learning this, but I find that reading aloud works for me.
Have a few minor issues concerning a bit about the focus on the story, but after a second read-through, I don't think it greatly affects the story in any way, so that's fine.
Hope this helps!
So is Humble Bundle a mare who delivers games at a scandalous discount to market price?
8403319 Thanks for the feedback. I have been meaning to reply to your comment, but I kept forgetting because the notification wasn't there to remind me. Grammar is definitely an issue and I actually have recently began to read my stories out loud to see if it looks and sounds sound. As for being redundant, that has been an issue and I have been more cautious. Most of your pointers of criticism is things I am much more aware of. I did write this story two years ago, so my skill is much different now than it was then.
Thanks for reading my story and I do hope to return to this story soon. I just need a little more criticism on the story itself. Also, cute Pinkamina.
I wonder if you will continue this story
Party Favour could destroy Equestria if he wanted to.
I've seen enough of Spongebob to justify butter-phobia.
“Umm... where did you get those balloons from?” Moon Dancer said in bewilderment.
Looking back at her with a smile, Party Favor replied, “Let's just say it was magic.”
You know he can actually rival against Pinkie Pie when it comes to laws of physics lol
Wow what a way to start out the story so it looks like moondancer it's basically studying at Twilight building because she lent her the key to that building which that was pretty cool but then numerous of time that she keeps losing her glasses and who shows up is party favor who keeps on helping her to find her glasses and basically helping him on the direction where he needs to go which it was pretty funny and cute but then they finally realize that they were setting up a party and they thought of Moon Dancer party but it turns out it was Cadence so she got upset that everybody forgot her birthday which that hurts so party favor try to comfort her which it did help her and Twilight and the other and including Cadence to talk to her and it was pretty nice to see they are very understandable and Moon Dancer really appreciated party favor to help her get through this so far this is a pretty interesting so far
Not as bad as the movies
Wow this was a pretty roller coaster emotion in this chapter but at least she had a great time with her birthday party her friends were there and it was so sweet of party favor helping moondancer looking for her glasses even though that was pretty crazy what he did just jumping found the edge of the Tower and Moon Dancer was so worried about his safety but he was okay he just gave her a change so she doesn't lose her glasses again which again so nice and I can see why party favor have trust issue because after what starlight did it is pretty hard to trust anybody but he just needs to open up that's all just like what Moon Dancer did this was a pretty nice chapter
Once again he can really rival again Pinkie Pie and cheese sandwich he is that awesome
Well that was a very cute chapter so it looks like the others are flying up in the air with balloons while the other ones with wings just fly off with them just in case if any of them fall down and once again party favor made a balloon figure of a piano seriously he would have so much fun with Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich but anyway it was a nice song but later on they finally made it to the ground and everybody decided to go home because it was getting late and not only that party favor offer his assistant to moondancer home and when they got to her house it really seen better days but they had a pretty special moment with each other despite only knowing each other for only one day and once again party favor you really need to figure out your way around the city good thing you don't live in Manhattan or you will get lost badly lol
Don't worry moondancer I'm also afraid of butterflies
Wow that was something else so it looks like moondancer was going to the castle to meet up with party favor but when she found him he was unconscious underneath the Box she got worried but he was okay she asked why was he in all those boxes but he felt embarrassed about saying it so he wanted to offer the making up to her last night so she made this idea if she can test him without his cutie mark and despite the discomfort that he did not like he didn't want her to tell her about the Box incident so with that they finally made it to the study and tested the book that she found about removal so she tested on party favor and so far yeah he looked a little different just like before the first time we met him and everything he tried to do with the balloons he could not do it without his cutie mark and his personality is much different seen that she cannot take it anymore she decided to stop this whole experiments and telling him that he didn't have to do it if he was feeling uncomfortable so with that she try to open the jar which the balloon was pretty hard to get out but good thing party favor has the key so was his cutie mark back she wants to test out the balloons instead but of course on successfully normally it will say never question it but lol that's another whole story about it but it turns out that he was afraid of a dark that's why he didn't want to tell her because of his flaws and there's not a shame of being afraid of some things I'm even afraid of heights and bugs everybody's is afraid of something it's natural at least they learn from each other
Oh yeah the Cutie Mark Crusaders they actually can help moondancer about her cutie mark problem
Wow so that is a pretty interesting situation but it looks like moondancer is trying to do pottery but unfortunately got interrupted by party favor but he wanted to ask if she wants to hang out so she said yes and he even asked how what is the plan for her in her goal which unfortunately have no idea and that put her in a slump basically she was pretty depressed that she has no idea what to do in her future and Minuette asking what's wrong with her and party favor explain about it which another surprise ability that not only his balloons can actually do a lot of magic but they can also take away their voice dang that is some power he has but anyway they went to Princess Celestia if they can ask Twilight to help out the situation once they get to the castle and ask Princess Celestia to summon Twilight she got there pretty fast so they talked about why was moondancer feeling a little discouraged about her future because she doesn't understand about her cutie mark which that gave Twilight an idea why not ask the ones who can actually help her cutie mark problem and that's where the Cutie Mark Crusaders will help out the situation that's actually a pretty good idea