Twilight Sparkle always knew she was different from other ponies. How will her friends react when they find out the most magical unicorn in all Equestria isn't even a pony? Inspired in part by Directive: Grow by Dragon Dreaming (mostly the cover art) and the cover art for Gundam Twilight: An Anime Parody by Aegis Shield
Note, your timeline may vary... And no, Sweetiebot will NOT be in this story.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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holy cow it updated
the chapters are kinda all over the place but other wise its awesome
This seems kind of a non-sequiter, but I sorta forgot what happened earlier.
an interesting idea. I'll see if it develops into something.
Who would have thought that Twilight Sparkle would a Robot, VERY Intrigueing. LOL!
1180629 Well SOMEONE had to do it
1180637 I was working in a similar concept... althought a little more militarized, and this fic kind of reminds me a comment talk I've did with Patrosion on deviantArt, You're doing a Great Job with this fic
1180775 Well, don't let me stop you, I would certainly read it
1180637 Don't u mean "SOMEPONY" had to do it? ;)
1181503 That wasn't said in story.
Therefore, I can say it however I want.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
1183767 Sorry My Bad :)
cool... want moar please?
i believe my feelings towards this story can be summed up with one word: MOAR!
Finally got around to reading this, and I gotta say, I like it. Interesting concept, rather different direction than I took from a similar source of inspiration (that picture by tsitra is badass, ain't it?), and your execution is pretty good so far.
A couple suggestions: do a quick grammar/spelling check on what you've got so far, just to clean things up a bit. As others have said, the first two chapters can easily be made into one chapter, and I think they would flow better. Also, "coolant/antifreeze" doesn't really work as a spoken thing. I'd recommend picking one or the other, probably the former - people'll get what you mean!
Biggest one ... you skip over her explanation of things to the other ponies and we don't really get that much of their reaction to Twilight being what she is. Their overall reactions are somewhat understandable but still come off as being somewhat unsupported, which you could fix in the following chapters, certainly, but really I'd be interested in seeing their initial reactions to, well, everything. Expressions, exclamations of concern; these things interest me.
All that aside, man, I LIKE it. Keep going.
1502634 Consider the coolant fixed. The rest, at this point, shall wait until chapter 4 is out, but will get done or I'm not Grtgfbll!!!!
I'm a sucker for stories like this, in which a character becomes or turns out to be something else. I like this.
However, I'm not too confident in your ability to finish this. Looking at the update dates of your chapters, I see a pattern very similar to my own. I have never, ever been able to finish writing a multi-chapter fanfic, despite having plenty of time to do so.
I would greatly appreciate it if you would hurry up and prove me wrong.
1502689relly edd
2167127 Just one d little brother.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Derpy_dealwithit.png
2170237yes he is my older brouther...
1180629you forgot (be) insted of just a... Ok?
2199672 Try to save that for the story, brat-boy.
2200620 blae
Nice to see this back up.
2661643 just fixin' the most common complaint 'bout the first two chaps, nothin' to get excited about (yet
)
aaaand now its just weird. I can understand sparkle bot...but...what just happened?
Wow 2 years......You back?
4844214 Just run with the assumption that all of the Mane Six are robots. At least until proven otherwise.
4844214 they are the 6 million Bit mares
grats on the new job Grtgfbll
I'm confused.
4844214 4844353 4844561 4844619 Rarity lost a leg a few years before Nightmare Moon; RD, Fluttershy and Scootaloo have a rather convoluted family tree; AJ has... issues; Twilight is a 'bot; and Pinkie is Pinkie. More details in later chapters.
4844619 About what?
4844218 Never left. I'm just the hell-spawn of Carmen Sandiego and Waldo... and suffering from writer's block
Did I miss anyone? No? 'Kay, back to reading/writing!!!!
4844674
About Rarity, which you answered. Also, about the family tree thing.
4844674 picturethismyway.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/carmenwaldolovers.jpg
4844674 In all my years of writing, I finally find someone whose writer's block issues are worse than mine! This is a first for me.
Curious. How did this story evade my attention for two years? It's certainly interesting enough, and features my favorite ponies. Huh.
Good story, and I hope we'll see a continuation before two more years. I really enjoy seeing Trixie taking well to a new field of work and actually getting respected for it. Spike is quite interesting in his role as well.
Story is a bit rushed and could definitely do with some extra material for pacing, but well-written in general. A lot of things are mentioned so offhandedly it's as though we're expected to have learned it already - which gives me that unpleasant feeling that I've missed something and have to backtrack. For instance, I got the impression that Rarity was now living on the Acres for some reason. And Fluttershy's and Dash's relationship was very difficult to comprehend.
You're building a very interesting alternate setting here. Don't alienate your readership by excluding relevant information. Fleshing things out is definitely a good thing.
Not to be too much of a critic, but shouldn't there be a little more background for the story? Like when did advanced prosthesis start being used in Equestria? Or why Applejack was so pissed about Twilight being a robot?
4849990
We haven't seen proof they aren't using prosthetics.
Also, perhaps Applejack has something against dating robots, qaand was crushing on Twi.
hopefully you can continue this as this is looking to be a very good story