195X
Welcome to the city of Manehattan, a borough of New York City.
In these streets of Equestria, crime does pay.
If there's money to pay, you better pay it.
Because some ponies aren't eager to see you turned empty handed.
So what does Thunderlane does in this situation, to protect him and his little brother?
Let's just say his family got extended.
194X
Either out of greed, or the need for a thrill.
Octavia enlists herself to be one of the most deadliest Made-Men out there.
As Octavia's reputation grows, so does her pay.
However, as Octavia paves the way to be an original gangster:
There are those who aren't too kind to a mare calling the shots.
Especially in a world of blood money.
Chapters (1)
This reminds me of scarface. "JU WANNA FUCK WITH ME?! JU FUCKIN WITH THE BEST!"
"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"
"JU WHORES!"
Hello there! I'm not going to leave a 'like' or a 'dislike' since I didn't read the whole chapter through, but I do have critique for you, and it has less to do with this story itself and more to do with your apparently prolific output.
You seem to have a lot of stories running concurrently, all incomplete and with little sign of a resolution. It is excellent that you have so many ideas and the willpower to write them out, but I think it would be far more admirable, and beneficial even, to commit yourself to either one or two of these projects and postpone the rest. I hate to presume when I know nothing of you, but it seems to me that you are running the risk of burning yourself out without having a completed story to show for it. The very same thing happened to me a couple of years back and I was juggling only two different projects.
6308300
Thank you for the criticism.
For an explanation to why I do release stories, is that I want to see how people react to the first taste of it. While I have the entire story set up, I just sometimes lose focus on writing the chapters. I would sometimes drift over to other stories, and when you loose focus in one story and get caught up in another: it becomes boring to write.
As an example: I'm primarily working on the House crossover, but I've seen myself get drawn closer to the worlds of the Original Gangsters (The Mafia) and it gets boring trying to write about a sarcastic doctor without getting caught up writing about Tommy Guns or stuff like that.
As it seems, it's not doing too well. I might just cancel this one and completely start over, not out of spite for criticism, but out of respect for those who did favorite it and expect quality
I thank you for the criticism, and I will see to it that it will aid me in the upcoming future.