After asking Rarity to the upcoming Ponyville dance. Rarity rejects his offer stating that she had already set eyes on somepony else. This news devastates Spike as he had finally worked up enough courage to ask her to the dance, his heart is shattered and he locks himself away from the world, fast forward two weeks and Spike is isolated from his friend up in his bedroom. His friends can't seem to bring him out of his mood, so it falls upon a certain mare with a purple mane to fix what she had broken.
Ellipses are made up of three dots. Not two, not four, THREE.
Capital T.
Semi-colon, rather than a comma.
A comma usually precedes statements beginning with a But.
Separate paragraphs for each character's dialogue and actions.
There are quite a few more mistakes in that vein which I've not listed; it's not a bad story, I suppose, but it could do with an editor.
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And so they danced. . . Late into the night - Very late, Too late to be called morning.
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zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ZZZZZZZZz
6241170 GodDAMN! These images you keep finding are too cute!!! MORE PLEASE!!!
6639837 FINDING? I DREW THEM
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6639859 Bl**dy hell! Wish i could draw like that....,. KEEP THEM COMING!!!
reminds me a bit of this:
How cute. Real life, unfortunately, does not have such happy endings.