Mango vs. Firefly - by Mango Leaf's Author
"Shouldn't you be in Canterlot, Mango?"
Mango Leaf looked from the map to Bon Bon, then back to the map. "Well, you know I needed—"
"I've known your order for three months now," she interrupted. "I got it along with my invitation to the wedding. It's in one month, Mango! You shouldn't be wandering around again, much less going into the Everfree! You're having a kid!"
"I know, I know!" Mango grumbled. "But legend has it that this place has an ingredient that can make just about anything change! Imagine if I could get it and find out how to make it change flavors an—"
"Look, you have everything you need. Go home to Gillette."
"One more ingredient, Bon Bon," Mango muttered. "Just one more and I'm done."
"Sure. Just like the four before this one. How was Vanhoover?"
"I mean it this time!"
"Sure you do, now get out." Bon Bon made shooing noises with her hooves. "Go home, Mango."
"Alright, alright," Mango grumbled, rolling up the map and putting it in his saddlebag. "I guess I'll see you in a month?"
Bon Bon smiled. "You can bet on it!"
Waving a hoof, Mango stepped out of Bonnie's Chocolates and Candies and into Ponyville, letting the door close behind him.He shook his head and started walking to the edge of town, in the direction of the Everfree.
"Wait!"
Mango stopped and turned around, watching one of the customers from Bonnies—a thin, red-coated, pegasus with some golden bug as a cutie mark—step out and trot towards him. "Um, yeah? Can I help you?"
"Yes... yes, I do apologize for running up to you like this, but I could not help but overhear your conversation with the chocolatier—"
"Bon Bon."
"Yes, her, well I heard what you were discussing. An ingredient that can change anything?" the pegasus asked, then blinked. "Oh, I am so very sorry, Firefly at your service. I'm usually more reserved and the abruptness of our meeting did have quite an effect on my manners."
"Oh, don't worry about it," Mango said, waving it off with a hoof before extending it. "The name's Mango Leaf, and I'm—"
"A frozen yogurt maker and vendor, yes," Firefly interrupted. "I remember you won the competition for best dessert a year ago with your most magnificent magical frozen strawberry creation. Doubtless, it wouldn't have been possible to do without magic, correct?"
Mango rubbed the back of his head. "Possibly... but if Derpy and Bon Bon hadn't helped me, I don't think my magic alone would have managed to—"
"Yes, quite." Firefly interrupted once more. "Unicorn magic allows the most amazing results that would otherwise would be impossible for earth ponies or pegasi to achieve."
"But I was about to say—"
"Now, imagine if a pegasus could cast unicorn spells. Or an earth pony. Wouldn't you say that it would make all our lives easier? Why buck trees when you can cast a spell to remove the apples? Much more effective! Why buck clouds when you can summon the elements to do it for you?"
"Because... it's... how things... work?" Mango said slowly, taking a step back. "Everypony can do what the others can if they put their minds to it. They just do it in different ways. You don't need magic to solve everything."
Firefly gave him a look. "Well, perhaps it's too much to ask for somepony who has always used magic to do things for them just how convenient it would be for others."
"I'll have you know that I don't use magic fo—"
"Which brings me to the reason I'm here right now." Firefly looked around before leaning a bit towards Mango. "If this secret ingredient of you exists... perhaps it is the missing element in a project of mine... I call it, the Thaumalogical Reading and Utilitarian Laum and Yield Sensing Tactical Unified Pendant of Indispensable Dweomers."
"That's long." Mango glanced to the side. Maybe he could run away? "You should work on shortening it."
"Yes, the acronym is on the works," Firefly said, clearing his throat. "As it is, I volunteer to join your expedition to the Everfree to secure this elusive ingredient."
Mango stopped and looked at the pegasus. "And why should I take you instead of somepony else?"
"I have been to the Everfree on several occasions, and my weatherpony job makes me ideal to help you plan in the eventuality of unexpected weather, as well as being able to fly and seek assistance if needed. Why, I even work closely with Rai—"
"Alright, alright, you can come," Mango said, putting his hoof on Firefly's mouth. "I'll be heading there now, though, are you okay with that?"
Firefly looked up and around, satisfied that apparently he hadn't been spotted, he quickly nodded to Mango. "Do we need to do research? The Prince—"
"Nah," Mango levitated a scroll out of his bags. "I got a map! Come on, less showing off you know important ponies and more walking!"
"..and that's how I got my scars. Rainbow Dash forbid me to ever attempt that again."
Mango nodded in understanding. "I assume you decided to give up on your bramble-diving after that third..."
"Fifth."
"Fifth attempt. Yes." Mango shook his head. "Look, I guess I can see you trying to impress your boss by doing something 'daring', but it sounds to me like you just need to, you know, do your job and she'll probably like you better."
Firefly muttered something before glancing at the floating parchment. "Well, whatever. Where are we right now?"
"If your directions earlier were correct, I think we're about a mile or two away from where the entrance to the temple is supposed to be."
The pair walked in silence for a while, keeping eyes open and ears perked. Although the alleged entrance to the temple wasn't too deep into the woods, both were well aware of the several dangerous creatures that inhabited the forest.
They were lucky however, and they finally made it to a small vine-wrapped shrine in the middle of a glade.
"Huh." Mango walked around it, peeking curiously at it. "When I was told 'temple' I imagined something bigger."
Firefly looked from the map to the sky then to the map again. "Unless we missed something somewhere on our we should be in the right location."
Mango nodded and placed a hoof on the shrine. "I wonder if we push it..."
"No! What did you do?" Firefly gasped. "Did you check if it was magical before you did that?"
Mango blinked. "Um. No. Should I?" He took his hoof off the shrine, noticing that it was starting to glow. "Oh. I guess I should've."
The shrine flashed and everything went dark.
Mango shook his head and slowly stood up. He wasn't standing on the soft earth of the Everfree anymore, however. He took in the ornate walls and floors and strange, blue light emanating from crystals on the domed ceiling above.
"It's seems we found it!"
A groan next to him drew his attention down to Firefly, who was slowly regaining consciousness. But that wasn't the only thing that caught his attention. He felt something tug at his shoulders and grimaced, already preparing for the worse. He looked over his shoulders.
"W-what happened?" Firefly asked and began to push up when Mango bowled him over. "What the hay?!" he shouted, pushing Mango away and glaring up at him. "What's your problem?"
"Firefly! Something terrible has happened!" Mango cried, orange wings flaring on his back.
"Mango?" Firefly gasped. "Are you a princess?!"
"What?! NO! I have wings! No horn! You have horn! No wings!"
"I have a horn?" Firefly gasped, touching it with his hoof. "Amazing! This is amazing, Mango! It means that whatever is in the temple can change things!"
"Well, no offense, but I was rather fond of being a unicorn!" Mango grumbled, fluffing his wings. "Hm. At least now I'll be able to join Gillette for flights."
"I'm fairly certain that the effects we are experiencing are temporary," Firefly said calmly, pushing Mango away and standing up. "It stands to reason that if the temple can do this, we can turn back upon leaving. However, this is a great chance for me to prove to a unicorn that using magic is much more effective than doing things by hoof, like pegasi and earth ponies do!"
"Again with this?" Mango huffed. "I keep telling you, we don't do everything with magic!"
"Are you telling me you don't use magic on your froyo?" Firefly smirked.
"To keep it cool, yes, or maybe to play around with temperatures, but I make the froyo by hoof. You can't make yogurt instantly with magic! It tastes horrible!"
"We'll see." Firefly started walking further into the temple. "My studies in magic have taught me the basics of how unicorn magic works. Just wait and see. You'll be wishing for your magic in no time."
The temple wasn't too big, but it was old enough for geography to have changed. As soon as they stepped out of the small hallway where they had appeared, the place opened up into a large cavern containing half the temple on their side, and the other half on the other, separated by a cliff and a waterfall. Several vines and plants grew all over the place, and the remains of a stone bridge were scattered at the bottom of the ravine. Faint clouds of vapor hung relatively close to them, and Mango wondered if he would be able to touch them now that he was a pegasus.
"Well," Firefly smirked. "This should be a problem. I'll just teleport to the other side."
Mango's eyes went wide. "No! Don't!"
But Firefly had already gathered magic and his new horn shone with golden energy. His eyes focused on the other side of the room, and suddenly, with a Bang! he fell to the floor, smoke spiraling off of his coat.
"But—" Firefly coughed a small amount of smoke. "Why?" he wheezed.
Mango checked him over. "Every unicorn knows the theory behind teleportation, but very few have the power to do it! You're lucky you didn't end up worse than this!"
Firefly glared at him from the floor. "Well then, Mr Unicorn, how are we going to cross without magic? You don't know how to fly."
Mango hummed to himself. "Well... we could climb..." He gazed at the walls, before brightening. "I think I have an idea! Can pegasi push clouds so thin together?" he asked Firefly, pointing at the faint vapors he had noticed earlier.
Firefly gave them a disdainful look. "I suppose. But you wouldn't be able to do much, they're not too stable."
"Well, I want to try something, but if you want to help, I could use a vine or two," Mango replied, pointing at the vines growing around them.
Firefly rolled his eyes, but pushed himself up to his hooves and concentrated, using his magic to tug at a bunch of vines. "I can't! It's too hard!"
"Relax!" Mango said, "You're just trying to do too much at once, you're still a beginner. Try with one vine first. It might even be enough."
Firefly released his magical hold and was about to reply, but Mango had already walked up to the edge and found—to his delight—that he could touch the clouds now. With a grin, he started pushing it closer together gathering as much as he could to make a cloud big enough for him to hop on. Then, with a nervous look down, he jumped on top of it.
"Well, congratulations," Firefly muttered. "You made a little cloud cushion. For all the good it will do us."
"I don't see the vine."
Firefly grunted and after some tugging managed to loosen up an end with his magic. "I... I can't." He gasped, sweat rolling down his forehead. "It's only one vine!"
"Hey, calm down, you just tried to teleport, for Celestia's sake!" Mango replied, bending down to pick up the loose end of the vine. Holding it with his mouth, he pulled and pulled again until the vine finally ripped off of the wall.
"Wishing you had you magic back there?" Firefly asked.
"Nah, that vine was stuck there. If I had tried ripping it out with magic I would be exhausted by now!"
He proceeded to tie the vine around himself, then the other end around Firefly.
"What are you trying to do?" Firefly asked warily.
"This!" Mango laughed, jumping onto his cloud and then, holding it tight with all four of his legs and hooves, like a giant pillow, he started beating his wings as fast as he could.
"H-hold on!" Firefly shouted, but it was too late. The pair shot from the edge, and he found himself holding on to dear life to the vine wrapped around him. He watched in half-terrified, half-frustrated stupor as they slowly made their way over the cliff, until they were close enough to the other side for Mango to swing him onto the road.
Grinning, Mango stood up on his cloud and jumped onto the floor.
"How did you even think that would work?!" Firefly shouted, frantically trying to undo the knot with magic before giving up and using his hooves and teeth. "For all you knew we could have died!"
Mango untied himself as well and grinned. "Nah, my fiancée told me about this trick when we met in Haywaii. She offered to do it, but I was too much of a wimp to try then."
"It's not fair! Why is it that you can just do what you want even when you're not using your magic and I can't do anything?" Firefly snapped, pushing Mango against the wall and glaring at him. "I studied this for years! I know the inside out of how magic works! Why can't I use it to do what I need to do?!"
Mango rubbed his shoulder. "I don't know, okay? I'm doing things as I usually do anyway! That's probably why. I'm not trying to be a pegasus!"
"But that's just it! Why don't you use your magic for it! It makes everything easier!" Firefly cried, getting uncomfortably close to Mango once more.
Mango slammed his hoof down and smacked him away with a wing. "Because that's not how things are! Just because unicorns can use magic doesn't mean we do everything with it! We're taught not to rely completely on it! What did you think it was like? We just want stuff to happen and it happens?"
"There's no point in doing things with your hooves or brute strength if you can do it with magic! That's why I'm inventing something to be able to use magic even if I'm not a unicorn!"
"Well, I hate to break it to you but there's no point in doing things with magic that you can do with your hooves just fine!" Mango snapped. "I make my froyo by hoof, and it's the best froyo in the market! Why should I start doing it with magic just to make it simpler? It's what I love to do!"
"Magic will help you do it better!"
"Really?" Mango asked, venom dripping from his voice. "So far you've proven that your studies in magic amount to theory. And you've been wasting so much time on this, that your actual skills—the ones that you use for your job—are not to par with anypony else! You even admitted that you're the worst flyer out there! You're so convinced that magic will save your sorry life that you've ignored every other advantage that you had!"
Firefly recoiled as if slapped.
"You whined all the way from Ponyville to the temple about how "Rainbow Dash said I couldn't do this right. Or that. Or that I was wasting everypony's time on work hours." Rainbow this. Rainbow that. For what? Just so you can make something that helps you pretend to be a unicorn? Where's your pride at being a pegasus? How many earth ponies and unicorns do you think wish they could have wings like yours? Huh? How many times do you think I've looked at my fiancée flying into the air and wished I could be there with her on the same level?"
"But Princess Twi—"
"No unicorn out there is Princess Twilight Sparkle! Get over it! She's basically made of magic! It doesn't work for everypony the same way! You don't love magic, you want to turn it into a commodity!"
"I do not! I just think that magic will do things easier for everypony!"
"Magic is not about making things easier!" Mango retorted. "Magic helps on certain things, but it's no replacement to an earth pony for their strength or ability to grow things. A dear friend of mine uses her magic while growing plants. You know why? To create beautiful things that couldn't be created otherwise!" He poked Firefly in the chest. "But she doesn't use magic to grow all of them. She doesn't use magic to make sure they're strong and healthy. She uses her hooves and her understanding of plants to achieve that. She would never go for the easy way and if you took her magic away, she would still do what she loves!"
"That's just one unicorn! You can—"
"My fiancée's best friend, Rachis, created spells to help preen pegasi wings! He didn't do it for himself, or because he's too lazy to do it by hoof! I've seen him do it, it takes hours of careful casting and hoofwork to do what he does."
"Well! What about earth ponies?" Firefly countered.
"Ever met the Apples?" Mango muttered. "Or I could introduce you to my army buddy Haystacks. Tell him that you want to use magic to do his job so that he can lazy about his farm. He won't be very loud, but he will be laughing while he escorts you out, and so will any self-respecting farmer! In fact," Mango growled, "why don't you ask your boss, Rainbow Dash, if she thinks it's fair for anypony to store a spell in that machine of yours and make them as fast or faster as she is without any effort or training?"
Mango shouldered past the cringing pegasus-turned-unicorn. "What you want to do is spit in the face of everypony that has put effort into what they love to do with that philosophy of yours."
Mango saw a large, double door at the end of the hallway, and headed straight there. He had almost made it to the door that must likely contained the magical ingredient when he heard the Firefly's voice behind him. "Well, what about you, Mr. high and mighty Mango Leaf?"
"What about me? I told you I don't use magic for making froyo."
"I mean your philosophy of running away," Firefly whispered bitterly. "Here you are, ranting at my dreams while you waste the dreams and time of others as well."
Mango's hoof hovered on the surface of the door, but he didn't touch it. "What do you mean?"
"The fact that you're here instead of back home, like Bon Bon told you?" Firefly asked. "I heard your conversation. This is not the time to be around treasure-hunting. And it's not the first time you've done this. From what I heard you spend as much time away from your fiancée as you can!"
"Shut up, I love Gillette!" Mango snarled, whirling around. "I just want this wedding to be the best! I need the best ingredients to do so!"
"So you risk life and limb for it?" Firefly snorted. "What's missing for your wedding? Flowers? Venue? Catering? Or the groom?"
Mango ground his teeth, glaring at Firefly. "I'm not running away!"
"Then why are you here?" Firefly asked, looking up at Mango straight in the eye. "Look at me and tell me with a straight face that the need for some stupid dessert is more valuable than you being with your fiancée. Or that she would understand you dying in the Everfree Forest for a spice for your wedding. Come on. Tell me!"
Mango opened his mouth and closed it several times, but didn't speak up. Finally he turned around to face the door. "I don't need to explain myself to you."
"Oh no," Firefly galloped up and elbowed Mango away from the door. "You don't get to stomp on me and walk away when I throw truth right back at you!"
"Step away from the door." Mango hissed.
"Say it to my face," Firefly said, standing in place. "Tell me that you running around is more important than your fiancée and your foal."
Mango Leaf seemed like he was about to tackle Firefly but after a moment of looking straight into the eyes of the other pony, he looked away. "She's more important." He sighed and rubbed his face with a hoof. "I just don't want my free life to... change," his eyes widened and he looked up at the door. He swayed in place before falling down on his haunches. "Oh Celestia," he looked up at Firefly. "I'm just like you. I'm in denial."
"I'm not in denial!"
Mango shook his head and stood up, stumbling away from Firefly. "Whatever. You know what, you can have it."
Firefly shuffled closer to the door, almost protectively. "Why? Where are you going?"
Mango hesitated. "Home. You're right. I shouldn't be here. I'm done."
He walked away from Firefly, his last glance at the other pony revealing that he had sat down and was simply staring at the door, deciding what to do.
Just as Mango left the room, the world seemed to brighten around him, and Mango found himself standing on the edge of the Everfree. Looking over his shoulders, he realized his wings were gone. He touched his hoof to his horn and sighed. He looked around but there was no sign of Firefly.
Shaking his head, Mango started walking down to Ponyville. He needed to get his wagon and get going.
Gillette frowned as she compared one decoration to another, then another. Although she had taken it upon herself to decide the color scheme for the reception, it was still a lot of things to take into account.
Her ears twitched when she heard the front door open. "Mango?" she asked in surprise when he walked in. "What are you doing here? I thought you had important business in Ponyville?"
Mango sat next to her and leaned on her shoulder, nuzzling her neck and making her giggle. "I'm all done. I think I'll be staying here with you for the rest of the month, so we can finish all the last details in time." He looked over at the table. "What are you working on?"
"The decorations," Gillette replied. "And seating arrangements." She smiled and nuzzled him. "I'm glad you're back, I don't know where to seat all of your friends! And we need to make sure our parents are in the main table with us..."
Mango chuckled. "Well, to begin with, we should make sure Lilligold and Haystacks seat next to each other..."
Gillette smiled and brushed his mane with her hoof. "Mango?"
"Mhm?"
"What happened in Ponyville? Why are you really back?"
Mango sighed and looked out the window. "Somepony finally made me realize that there were some things I needed to change to make sure we were happy."
Gillette raised an eyebrow. "So this pony is seating at the main table?"
Mango chuckled. "I'm not sure if I would count him as a friend but... he has a lot to think about before deciding if he should go to a wedding."
"Think about what?"
"Whether to open that door or not."
The End
A Contest of Wills - by Firefly's Author
Mango Leaf trotted into Stinking Rich Memorial Park, pushing his cart ahead of him with magic. He paused and chuckled. Every time he passed under the commemorative gate, the same thought came to mind: Anypony who names their kid Stinking needs to have their head examined!
He had arrived just yesterday in the Friendship Rainbow Kingdom – another moniker for the ages! – and immediately experienced great satisfaction selling Fro-yo in the very same park. As in previous visits to Ponyville – a thoroughly sensible name for a hamlet full of ponies – he had parked his wagon near where the library tree used to be, before the scuffle with Tirek had destroyed it. This time, however, he had expanded his sales options: he had purchased a new magically insulated push cart that allowed him to sell Fro-yo where his wagon couldn’t go, such as within the confines of many parks and even indoors. It had turned out to be a great investment, demonstrated by the day’s excellent sales!
This afternoon, he wandered in a different direction than on the previous day, looking for new souls to bless with his frozen good humor. A turn around some tall hedges brought him to a small lake lined with willow trees. They provided welcome shade for several stone benches from which ponies could observe as ducks, geese, and swans engaged in their own culinary pursuits.
At the shallow edge of the lake, two small foals played with toy boats under the kindly supervision of a frizzy red-maned filly in her early teens. A lone orange-coated pegasus with a fiery-red mane sat on the middle bench, head down, as if completely oblivious to the picture-postcard prettiness around him.
Ah-hah! A pony in dire need of Fro-yo if I ever saw one!
Mango approached, already smiling in anticipation of that wonderful moment when the stallion’s eyes would light up with that first magical taste.
“Hello sir!” he called out, “You look like a pony in need of an epicurean epiphany!”
The stallion looked up at him in confusion then concern. “What? Cure? An epipen?” He rose up from the bench and stood teetering on his hind legs, his right hoof touching a large amulet hung from a silver cord around his neck, his left clutching a rolled-up scroll. “Are you having an allergic reaction?”
“No! No! Certainly not!” Mango laughed and waved a hoof in a pacifying gesture. “I meant, you look like you could stand some Fro-yo felicity!”
The stallion looked at him as if he was from another planet.
“Fro-yo!” Mango repeated. “It’s a dessert made from –”
“– frozen yoghurt. I know.” The pegasus slowly sat down. His cutie mark seemed to be some insect with a glowing posterior. A firefly. “No thanks,” said the pony. His head dropped down as he resumed the same introspective posture as when Mango had first arrived.
Mango's lips compressed. Oh-ho! A challenge! His smile came back even wider.
“Fro-yo is not just frozen yogurt! It’s a delightful concoction that can also include fruit, chocolate, candies, special essences, spices, even certain vegetables. Why, the possibilities are endless! Now, I’m sure I could prepare a Fro-yo cup that would simply change your life for the better. I guarantee it!”
The pegasus flicked an ear. “No, thanks.”
“Sir? Have you ever tried Fro-yo before?”
The pegasus chewed his lip for a moment.
“Nope! And I don't intend to.”
Mango felt one of his ears fold back. “As I take your reticence for a challenge, I offer you, sir, your very first Fro-yo cup absolutely free!”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Really, I insist!”
“Really, you shouldn’t.”
“And why shouldn’t I?”
“Because I still won’t eat it, even if it’s free!”
Both of Mango’s ears fell flat against the back of his neck. Despite his words, the stallion’s expression had hardly changed during the entire exchange. Mango prided himself on being able to handle even the most skeptical of Fro-yo deniers, but the fact that the orange pony couldn’t care enough to even look annoyed was beginning to annoy him tremendously.
Time for a change of tack.
Mango took a deep breath to calm himself.
“Look, maybe we started on the wrong hoof. My name is–”
“–Mango Leaf and you pass through Ponyville selling frozen yoghurt once or twice per year. I’ve heard your name from the other townsponies, and my former boss won’t shut up about you and your Fro-yo whenever you’re in town!” He finally looked up again, sighed, and extended a hoof. “The name’s Firefly.”
Mango Leaf’s eyes widened. Firefly – the inventor of that personal magic thingy! His smile restored, Mango shook his hoof.
“I’d be honored to serve my signature dish gratis to such a distinguished pony!”
Firefly sat back and crossed his forelegs over his chest. “Like I said, no thanks.”
Mango stared at him, nonplussed. “And why in Celestia’s name not!?”
The pegasus glared up at him. “Because, I hate eating anything frozen!”
Mango stood, dumfounded. His ears twitched, his fur itched, and all four legs trembled as the bitter words echoed through the farthest recesses of his mind: ... hates eating anything frozen... It was impossible to unhear what the stallion had said. It took him several heartbeats to recover his customary aplomb.
“Hate is such a strong word, Mister Firefly. How did a respectable stallion such as yourself come into possession of such a calamitous culinary handicap?”
“Handicap?” Firefly’s ears rose up. “I’ve never seen it that way!” He shook his head. Then his eyes narrowed and his wings sprung partly open. “Wait a minute! I’m an adult, and I’m free to like or dislike whatever foods I choose, especially the ones that give me brain freeze!” As if only now noticing his outburst, the pegasus blushed. Looking sheepish, he folded his wings back into place.
“Brain freeze,” remarked Mango. “You know that only happens if you eat frozen foods too quickly.”
Firefly’s blush deepened. “Well, for me it happens every time!” The pegasus seemed to shrink-in on himself.
Mango felt his heart melt. The poor pony looked so miserable!
“Besides...” said Firefly in a small voice.
“Besides what, my good pony?” ask Mango leaning closer.
Firefly smiled shyly up at him. “Besides, everything tastes better warmed up, anyway!”
Mango felt his heartbeat stop. Or at least he thought it stopped. How could it go on beating after hearing such heresy? He slammed a hoof against his chest to make sure the poor thing awoke from its stupor. He was relieved to hear its beat resume, although the episode left the taste of bile in his mouth.
On a sudden inspiration, he floated a frozen strawberry from his cart. “I am going to prove scientifically the error in your assertions! See if you can resist this fabulous frosty fruit!”
Firefly rubbed his amulet. The unicorn-head shaped gem at its center glowed and a gold-colored magic field retrieved the fruit from his own. Mango had seen many ponies wearing such amulets recently.
“Wow! So that’s how those Personal Spell Casters work! You know, I’d never thought to check them out –” he tapped the tip of his horn with a hoof “– seeing as I’m a natural spell caster myself.”
The strawberry spun in the air as Firefly examined it from all sides. “You’d be surprised how many unicorns use PSCs these days. They’re very convenient for storing long spells, or bundling a bunch of smaller ones together into a magical toolbox for doing more complex incantations. Some ponies have even begun selling packaged spells to automate tasks.” He nibbled the berry delicately, and after a moment made a face. “Frozen strawberries are really very bland.” He rubbed his amulet again. The fruit’s color deepened as he flash-defrosted it, then popped it into his mouth. He chewed contentedly for a moment. “Told you, warmer is much better!”
“But, but...” Mango stuttered. He toasted my frozen strawberry!
Mango engaged in a breathing exercise he’d learned from a wise old stallion during his travels in the Haymalayas. All the while, Firefly licked his lips appreciatively.
Time to up the ante! Mango’s horn glowed once more. This time he selected some nuts and chocolate bits. “This is one of my most popular garnishes for Fro-yo! Nopony who’s ever tasted it has walked away dissatisfied!
Again, Firefly took the chilly treats from Mango and floated them over to his mouth. He nibbled some chocolate, and then crunched a nut in his mouth pensively. “Better, but...”
This time Mango noticed that Firefly’s eyes glowed as he rubbed the PSC amulet. The nuts and chocolate began to swirl around each-other. Soon they were moving so fast all he could see was a blur. There was a flash and the movement slowed to a stop. A slightly elongated lumpy brown mass levitated in front of Firefly. He took a bite and chewed contentedly.
“Mmm–mmm! Not as good as one of Bon-Bon’s chocolate-nut bars, but I don’t exactly have a kitchen here!” He winked at Mango Leaf. “Want some?”
The unicorn repressed a shudder as Firefly took another bite and chewed. His muzzle sported a big smile flecked with bits of melted chocolate.
Mango glared at him and flipped open the cart’s cover. A quick scan inside provoked a feral grin. Perfect! He floated out a frozen pineapple spear. “This is one of my greatest discoveries from my wonderful years in Haywaii. Let’s see what you think of frozen pineapple!”
Again, Firefly took the piece in his own magic field. He gnawed one end carefully. “Definitely better. Not bad, even! Say is that cinnamon, and this salt?” Two small shakers rose from Mango’s cart.
He nodded. Firefly floated them over and dusted the pineapple spear liberally with both. His magic field then flared white hot, wrapping the spear in an intense flame that lasted several seconds. The fruit had been seared golden-brown. He took a bite, and raising one eyebrow offered it to Mango.
The unicorn tasted it. Memories of Luaus came back in a rush. Faces of friends, cousins, aunties and uncles played in his mind’s eye, his first sight of Gillette, astonishingly beautiful as she hovered over the beach in Hoofalulu. The images brought a sudden longing for that happy time in Haywaii. It was a moment before he noticed that he’d eaten the entire spear.
“Told you,” Firefly said with a smile.
Mango wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “I’m willing to concede that you may have a point with the pineapple.” He looked again at the smirking pegasus and his magical amulet. His melancholy hardened into resolve.
No more foaling around! It’s time to call out the A-team!
“Hey, kids!” he shouted out loud. “Anypony want some free frozen yogurt?”
Three heads locked onto his faster than he could have thought possible. Then the two foals turned towards the filly, as if waiting for a signal. She trotted at a dignified pace to the center bench.
“Mithter Firefly,” she lisped, “do you know that thtallion?”
“Yeah, Twist. He’s Mango Leaf, the Fro-yo guy. I’ve only heard nice things about him.”
She leaned closer and whispered into Firefly’s ear. “Tho it’th okay to thay yeth?”
He smiled. “Sure. Go ahead. Tell your parents and Mister and Missus Cake I said so, if they ask.”
“Gee! Thankth!” She turned to the lake where the two foals waited still as statues in the inch-deep water. “Pound and Pumpkin, you want thome ithe-cream?”
The youngsters barreled out of the water and screeched to a halt next to the filly. They nodded vigorously as they shook the water off of their fetlocks one leg at a time.
What a sweet bunch! If this sight doesn’t get him to try Fro-yo, nothing will! thought Mango with glee.
“Pound’ll have the lemon-mango-orange with thprinkleth, and Pumpkin the blueberry-cranberry-banana with thocolate,” said the filly.
Mango raised an eyebrow. He scooped ingredients with a bar of Fro-yo into a mixing press. He extruded the result into a cup and hoofed it over to the little orange-maned foal.
“You certainly know your charges very well, Miss Twist!” She blushed under the praise as he started making the second foal’s cup.
“Mith Pie ith teaching me how to babythit. Thee knowth everything about everypony! It’th a lot to remember!”
The moment he gave the little colt his Fro-yo he dug in with gusto.
“I’m sure it is. And what about you, miss? What flavor of Fro-yo do you want?”
The filly pulled some peppermint sticks from a small purse she kept around her waist. “Can you make one with thith?”
He examined the candy carefully. “Sure!” He put one of the sticks aside, and with his horn field snapped the others into pieces, which he then put into a mixing press. Finally, he extruded all but a spoonful into a cup which he gave the filly. He then squirted the last spoonful into his own mouth. His taste buds exploded with the spicy dual zing of peppermint and cinnamon.
“Wow! This is really good!” he said. “Is that cinnamon with the peppermint?”
“Un-huhn! It’th my own thecret rethipe!” said the filly, smacking her lips. She gave him a brilliant smile. “Thankth, Mithter Leaf!” she turned to Firefly. “And you too, Mithter Firefly!”
With squeals of excitement the kids retreated excitedly back to one of the other benches, laughing as they ate and sampled each-others’ Fro-yo.
Mango sighed. “Isn’t that a sight!”
Firefly looked on the happy trio with affection. “They’ll remember this for a long time, Mister Leaf. It’s memories like these that lift a pony up when life throws them a real zinger.”
Mango felt that something was off. He took another look at the stallion sitting on the bench. His posture didn’t match his words... There’s more than Fro-yo aversion going-on here! he thought. His instincts bade him to sit down next to pegasus.
The only sounds were the day’s light breeze wafting through the willows, and the contented sounds of the children eating and whispering secrets to each other. Mango let the summer’s gentle serenade of sunshine and crickets sing sweetly to them for a while before he spoke.
“You can call me Mango. Tell me, are zingers why you’re navel gazing on a park bench on a beautiful day like today?” he asked.
Firefly’s eyebrows flicked upwards briefly before coming back down slowly. He took a slow breath. The corners of his lips curled up. “There are zingers, Mango, and then there are zingers.”
He nodded, letting the pony take the conversation where he would.
Firefly looked at him sideways. “Do you know what cutie marks really represent?” he asked gently.
Mango raised a single eyebrow. The question surprised him, but having an unshakable faith in his own cutie mark, Mango didn’t hesitate to answer. “They represent a pony’s special talent, the thing they can do better than anything else. Sometimes the meaning of the cutie mark isn’t that obvious to others, but to the ponies themselves there isn’t any doubt!”
Firefly gazed out over the lake. “I guess that’s true for most ponies, but somehow, not for me.” He crossed his forelegs again, the scroll crumpling slightly where it was crushed against his chest. “I’ve always known I wanted to do magic, but unlike all my friends, I never could connect what my heart told me with my cutie mark. It’s been a major point of argument between me and my parents my entire life. Even after I started the whole Personal Spell Caster thing, I still couldn’t figure it out.”
Mango scratched his head. “Come to think of it, I don’t see what a firefly has to do with spell casting, either.” He shrugged. “But then frozen food’s my specialty, not metaphysics.”
Firefly chuckled. “It isn’t mine either, so I decided to consult an authority: I asked Princess Twilight about it. At first she was surprised I would ask and then she told me pretty much the same thing you just did. When I continued pestering her she admitted that she’d never really given it much thought! She got this funny look on her face and then spent nearly a week obsessively trying to find the rationale behind it.” He laughed. “That’s when her assistant Spike forced her to send a letter to Princess Celestia asking for her advice on the matter.”
“Wow. Your question made it all the way to the biggest kahuna of them all! So did our Lady of the Sun shed any light on the issue?”
Firefly nodded. “Yes, but it didn’t make much sense to me at the time.”
Mango waited. The pegasus looked at him out of the corners of his eyes.
“She said that cutie marks are in actuality a reflection of a pony’s destiny. That’s why in the majority of cases it naturally reflects their talent, but sometimes a pony’s particular talent isn’t the defining aspect of their life.”
“I can buy that,” said Mango. “But it sure doesn’t help me figure out the meaning of your cutie mark. How about you?”
“Oh, it didn’t help me either. And that’s the way things stood until yesterday.”
Mango felt uneasy. The stallion had left the door open for him, so probably he wanted him to ask the question, so he did.
“What happened yesterday?”
He smiled. “I found out that I’m a firefly.”
Mango leaned back. His gaze fell on Firefly’s amulet and he pointed to it with a hoof. “Well, you certainly glow when you use that thing!” he laughed. “But I don’t think that’s what you meant!”
Firefly laughed with him. “No, unfortunately for me it isn’t.” He took a deep breath.
Mango scratched an ear. “Okay. Let’s see. What else are fireflies known for...” he gulped as the realization hit him. Their gazes met, and the pegasus nodded.
Mango felt his chest constrict.
“How... how long?” he asked in a low voice.
“Two weeks. Maybe three.” replied Firefly.
“There’s nothing that can be done? The hospital? The Princesses?”
“Nothing... but wait for my destiny to be fulfilled.”
They sat in silence for a while. Mango was dumbstruck. The whole idea made him feel a bit angry, and helpless at the same time. “But you don’t look like somepony who’s... you know! How is this possible?”
Firefly shrugged. “I’ve had a few close calls already, mostly of my own doing.” He touched his amulet. “There were a few bumps along the road getting to this, and I’ve accumulated a lot of damage along the way.” He grinned. “Run-ins with manticores and timberwolves didn’t help. So the doctors tell me my body has run out of resources and things are... coming to a head just now.”
Mango’s throat felt swollen. He swallowed, but it didn’t make him feel any better.
“So why aren’t you travelling? If I were in your horseshoes I’d be... I dunno, trying to fill out my bucket list, see everything I can, before... well.”
Firefly held up the scroll. “Busted!” His hoof dropped down to the bench. “Or at least, I tried to write a list, but when it came right down to it, the few years I’ve spent here in Ponyville have been by far the happiest of my life. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.”
“What about your family, your friends? Do they know?”
Firefly lifted a hoof to his lips, and flicked his gaze briefly towards the foals. “I’m being very discreet about this. Other than the doctors and Princess Twilight you’re the first pony who’s heard about it, and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anypony else.”
Mango’s anger deepened a bit. “That’s a pretty selfish point-of-view! Don’t you think they deserve to know?”
Firefly’s eyes widened. “Well, when you put that way... but, I guess I just don’t want them making a big fuss about it and moping around for weeks on my account.”
“Firefly!” Mango started loudly, but then glancing at the youngsters, he moderated his tone. “Tell me, which do you think will be worse for your friends, a few weeks of sharing the end, or a lifetime of regret at not having spent some of those precious last days together? Sure, this is a crappy thing to have happen, but you’ve got what most other ponies will never have: a chance to tie up loose ends and make proper goodbyes.”
Firefly hid his face in his hooves. It was a while before he lowered them again. Turning moist eyes away from the foals, he wiped the fur on his face with a hoof and rose.
“Thanks, Mango. You’re right. They’ll feel even worse later if I don’t tell them, and I don’t want to do that to them.” He looked towards Ponyville. “I think now I can scrape up the courage to let a few special ponies know. I owe it to them.” He rose from the bench. “Well, there’s no time like the present. Besides, it’s too beautiful a day to waste feeling sorry for myself, don’t you think?”
Mango glanced around. The brightly shining lake. The breeze in the willows. The laughing children. “Yeah. On that count you’ll get no argument from me!”
Mango stood up and Firefly offered his hoof again. They shook and with a nod Firefly turned towards the direction from which Mango had arrived. He’d barely taken a step when tiny Pumpkin Cake galloped up, her little horn sparking as she floated her Fro-yo cup over her head. She screeched to a halt in front of the pegasus and a spoonful of Fro-yo rose out of the cup. It was an amazing feat of levitation for such a young unicorn.The spoon wobbled precariously as it floated in front of Firefly’s muzzle.
“Try?” she said in a sweet pre-schooler’s voice.
Uh-oh! Thought Mango. He moved to intervene, when without objection Firefly opened his mouth and floated in the spoonful. He made a big deal of chewing and then smacked his lips loudly.
“Like?” asked Pumpkin.
He knelt down and gave the filly a hug. “I sure did! Thank you, Pumpkin! That was the best Fro-yo I’ve ever had!” With a final pat on the filly’s head and a wink to Mango, he rose to all fours and waved goodbye to the youngsters. Then he made his way along the curving path between the willows until he was lost from sight.
Mango sat down on the bench. He rubbed a fetlock across his eyes.
Time.
He’d always thought of time as an infinite resource, that the days stretched before him without end, and if today didn’t fulfill his ambitions, well then, there was always tomorrow. It’s strange how something that’s infinite has no value!
But then, for Firefly tomorrow wasn’t infinite at all. Tomorrow had, through scarcity, assumed almost limitless value. The thought made him shiver!
Mango thought of all the ponies he loved and who loved him, ponies he had left behind in his wanderings through Equestria. The sweet face of Gillette swam to the fore in his mind’s eye. The way she looked and how she’d hid her tears when, again, the urge to travel had led him to leave Canterlot. A mare like that wouldn’t wait forever.
And she shouldn’t have to!
Again, resolve firmed within his breast.
Firefly’s right. The day is too beautiful to waste! All the days are too beautiful to waste!
He stood up and grabbed hold of his cart. It was time he got back to Canterlot and gave Gillette the answer she had been patiently waiting for all this time.
It was, finally, time to go home.
Mango Leaf's Author
Two very good stories, but the first one I felt had more natural character development, and the reveal with Firefly in the second story was a bit abrupt and messed with the pacing a bit, IMO.
Mango Leaf's Author
I'm fairly worn out at the moment, both in general and probably some with the contest, so forgive me if the following critiques' good stuff to bad stuff ratios favor the latter as heavily as I think they do, compared to the norm.
Issues abound in Mango author's entry. Punctuation problems: extraneous or missing commas, comma splices, a missing space, a missing apostrophe, a missing period, erroneous dialogue punctuation, and excessive (in my book, anyway) ellipses. Typos and/or missing words. Words and phrases I'm not sure are legitimate, and not in a purposeful-seeming way. Quite possibly more.
In the characterization department, I thought that Mango's author's take on Firefly was blunt as all hell sometimes, right from the "I'm usually more reserved" line as he's introduced (which I sort of took to be one of those token nods to the sheet, as he was anything but reserved throughout the entirety of the piece, excuse for it or no). Potentially insulting at times, too, with the whole "TRULY STUPID" thing and the digs at Firefly's character—while I have complaints about Firefly and a good many other characters in this competition myself, we all had to work with what we were given, and poking fun at them is too easy a way out. Mind you, it's fine to highlight a character's flaws, but oftentimes I felt that the method Mango's author went with for doing that was too meta, to the point that it came off to me as a wink and a nudge.
Even the part that purports to be taking a serious crack at said flaw-highlighting fell short in its own way, though: that clearly important moment where Mango, in true starring OC fashion, upset Firefly's strawman of a worldview via a biting criticism felt entirely anticlimactic to me. One main reason for that is the aforementioned bluntness of the piece, with Firefly being painted from the get-go as wrongheaded and of no particular recognizable worth. In that sense, this story's rising action is just the building impression that the two characters are going to have an argument because the one who's made out to be wrong is talking more and more, and I felt little attachment to that aspect of the conflict beyond that. The other main reason is that Mango makes comments like "You even admitted that you're the worst flyer out there!" with not an ounce of in-story backing that I could see. Yes, it's in Firefly's sheet that he's a mediocre flyer, but that and other aspects of his character arise in Mango author's piece in such a manner that they become relevant without being established.
And I guess it doesn't help that I disagree with Mango's stated arguments on the matter of magic use, but that's neither here nor there.
Last thing I want to note about Mango's author's entry specifically is the characterization of Mango himself. I didn't feel that it fit the character. This isn't something I'm putting much stock into in my decision, though, because the reasons I don't feel it fit were things like his "venomous" outburst and the sudden vague denial he apparently has in this installment, but I came to realize that the character of Mango (and, indeed, many that made it far into the competition) still isn't something defined well enough to be set in stone. Because Mango's author is one of the ones who have been telling chapter-by-chapter stories, I've been locked into thinking about his or her characterization of Mango as compared to his or her own earlier iterations, whereas other authors tend to have me checking the sheet for accuracy each time. And Mango's author just hasn't put Mango in a situation where he'd be acting like he does here, until now. The sheet for Mango is a little vague on his personality, too, and while that's been fine with the fairly consistent, simple Mango that Mango's author has given us so far, it's only now that I'm seeing the gaps and realizing I don't have a standard to judge this version of the character by that I consider valid enough. That all being said, this Mango did feel too much like he was speaking with the author's voice, and it bothered me.
Speaking of authors telling a chapter-by-chapter story, let's move on to Firefly's author's piece.
Notably stronger than Mango's author's entry in terms of mechanics. Still some pronoun confusion, some misplaced hyphens, questionable word choice, and other minor things, but it's obviously the better polished one.
More importantly, though, the characterization felt more solid in Firefly's author's piece. But—and this is a voluminous, gyrating but—that solidness seemed to come at the price of complexity, originality, and general ambition. See, there's a trend (one of a couple) that I've noticed in Firefly's author's entries, and it's carried through into this round from the previous one or two: Firefly's author's take on his or her opponent's character seems to be little more than to take the opponent author's usual characterization, distill it to a simpler form, and try and work more sophistication into how the character speaks. Of course, Mango's author's Mango Leaf certainly started as a simple character with simple motivations, and that was fine. As the contest has gone on, though, he grew deeper (not in every round, but in some), yet the Mango Leaf on display here is back to the utter basics minus the now all but out-of-place references to Gillette.
"But BP," you may fairly ask, "didn't Mango's author do pretty much the same thing with Firefly?"
Yes and no. Yes in that Mango's author's Firefly was, again, pretty darn blunt, and I could see the seams/puppet strings/[applicable metaphor] right from the start. No in that Mango's author actually seemed to do something with that simpler version, but that's getting into Firefly's author's plot for this round, and I want to hop back to the characterization for about another paragraph first.
I had that same issue again with Firefly's author's Firefly that I had in the round where he was paired with Falcata: most all of the characterization for him was backloaded and dumped all at once, despite his presence much earlier in the story. Up until he goes into his condition, he's little more than a guy on a bench who happens to have also invented this really Mary Sue–ish (there, I said it finally) thing he's using to be flippant with magic instead of just being made a unicorn in the first place. And dislikes cold food, I guess.
And that leads right into what I've got to say about the plot. After typing the previous sentence, I sat here for a few minutes actually unable to decide whether I had a lot to say about it or a little, and I suppose the reality is that I'm well able to go on and on about why I disliked it, but the issues can be boiled down to just a few bullet points:
A.) The first half is a one-off with hints of a larger story, while the second half comes off like it's capping off a larger story (or perhaps multiple stories) but has hints of trying to be an independent piece.
B.) The first half, taken alone as the portion that focuses the most on Mango, does not portray him in what I would say is an interesting way, opting instead to try and stretch one character quirk into a rather pointless and almost impact-less (at least once the second half ups the impact ante) argument. The conflict of the first half is essentially inconsequential, and pretty far removed from the conflict of the second.
C.) The second half, taken alone as the portion that focuses the most on Firefly, does not portray him in a way that is interesting, at least to me. It's just a step or two above feels-bait, I feel like. The only thing I've really got to say in its favor is that the impending death of Firefly and fulfillment of his firefly-destiny is probably meant to be taken as a meta reference to his status as a character in this contest, which I thought was kind of cool (although since when are fireflies "known for" short lifespans? Flies in general, or mayflies specifically, sure, but fireflies?). Cool or not, though, boy does it feel like a desperate reach for a plotline otherwise.
In short, I feel like both authors made some significantly poor choices and/or mistakes unbecoming of our finalists. Rather than keeping on abstaining like I've been doing for the past little while, though, I'm choosing Mango's author, because I feel that he or she put forward the more creative, well-structured piece without portraying the characters any less agreeably than I think Firefly's author did, on the whole.
Firefly's Author
My reasoning:
a) Several problems in Mango Leaf's author's story, and one positive:
First and foremost, Firefly's personality has been dumbed down into a sarcastic parody of itself, which is deeply different from presenting the absurdity inherent in what someone actually is.
Second, it reads as an apology to the status quo: conform yourself with what you were randomly assigned by nature; don't try to be more; don't try to be different; don't try to make a difference; and most important of all, don't try to improve beyond or besides those natural limits, for there lies... bad stuff, I guess; but if you want you can try improving within what destiny gave you, that's fine! Why? Oh, hum... just because.
Third, the story breaks the number one rule of effective narrative fiction: don't tell, show. The story sets up a situation in which an extremely novice unicorn and an extremely novice pegasus have to solve a difficulty. This evidently isn't enough to establish (show) the above philosophy, so after overcoming the small obstacle, the characters resort to angry speeches (telling) to get their points across.
And, fourth, since the objective of the story seems to be to make the reader see Firefly as a bumbling idiot character, said angry speeches are evidently one sided, with Mango making the strong points and Firefly having to resort to the timeless classic childish argument of "but you did it first!", which Mango, being "the" wise(r) character of the two, accepts and in so doing changes his ways, while Firefly stands behind, shaken but still, fool as he "evidently" is, not changing.
One positive aspect of the story is that it wraps up Mango's narrative arc. Not in a nice way, I think, but it does, so kudos to the author for it.
b) Now, for Firefly's author's story, in which I see several positives and one negative:
First and foremost, Firefly's author treats Mango's author's character with respect. That alone would make me prefer this story to that of Mango's author.
In terms of their philosophy, while Firefly is certainly proud of his achievement in developing the device that allows all ponies to cast magic, he doesn't treat it as something that everyone has to use. Rather, he developed it, he's happy, and he's fine with other ponies using or not using it as they see fit. He provided the tool, what others do with it is their own decision, and if it improves things for those who decide to use it, so far so good. No argument from nature in defense of the status quo, and also no argument in defense of change for change's sake. Rather, a defense, made in acts, of the right for everyone to improve as they see fit.
More than that however, Firefly's author, rather than presenting his own character as the True Wise One, prefers to show (emphasis on show) Mango giving Firefly a life lesson. In this the small bit of speech is short, anchored and arising from their present situation and their observation of those around them, and to the point. And then, in the opposite direction, it isn't Firefly who forcibly causes Mango himself to improve. Rather, it's Firefly's concrete situation (shown), his plight, that causes Mango to feel touched, and to reflect, leading him to become wiser all by himself.
Finally, I liked how Firefly's author managed to use his last entry in the context as a way to wrap up both Firefly and Mango's narrative arcs. It'd have been easy to go with just one or just the other, but doing both was a very nice move.
The one criticism I can make to Firefly's author's story is in regards to the somewhat sudden switch from comedy to drama. Ideally this would have been presented in a more nuanced way.
Conclusion: weighting the pros and cons of both entries, my vote goes for Firefly's author's story.
Mango Leaf's Author
6367864, except for some points, it's almost like you and 6367795 read two different stories. I completely disagree with your take, Logic, that Mango's argument is in favor of the status quo. Saying "you don't need magic to solve everything" is a far cry from "conform!" or "don't better yourself!". I think you're taking it a bit far on that one. That and Mango seems more frustrated and angry than wise, biy O can see where you're coming ftom. Also, an FYI: "show, don't tell" isn't a set-in-stone rule that automatically means everything not shown is bad writing.
For my part I thought Mango's characterization in Firefly's piece fell down to a very basic interpretation of the character... something that both authors are guilty of here. However, Mango is depicted as basically single minded about his froyo, to the point of a pretty pointless bickering about trying to convince someone to eat cold food, which could be forgiven if Firefly's author hadn't attempted to merge Mango's timeline into his story, which creates a lot of inconsistencies in the narration especially for those familiar with Mango's story.
Mango's author's choice to not use Firefly's timeline/canon is the only way this story would work. Here, there's a Firefly that hasn't met Falcata, who hasn't already achieved his dreams and is still looking for the best way to make them a reality. He is depicted as frustrated, and almost desperate, which is a sharp contrast to Firefly's Author's canon. Does it work? Eh. For this story, I guess it does.
The main issue with writing Mango or Firefly, I think, is that both authors established their canon and sorta carried it through the whole thing, so writing a "different" version jumps out to readers that have come to care for one. One author chose to try to introduce a character's canon into his own (which takes guts)... and didn't do a great job of it: from that perspective it has a LOT of inconsistencies and characterization issues that he/she didn't take into account.
As for the other, he/she decided to drop the canon (which also takes guts) and basically did a Tier 1 take on the character as an undeveloped story, and I think that was probably a bit of a downer, although the story itself felt more concise to me.
(Edit, sorry for double-posting, had this in the discussion chapter.)
Mango Leaf's Author
I was very torn between the two stories, because both were well written and showed much character development. But Mango's story won it for me because it kept me more involved. It kept me in the magic of the story, and I didn't get pulled out of the story til the very end. That is what writing magic is like for me, when you can keep reading and the world around you melts.
6368055
If that was all Mango was saying I don't think there would be a problem. But that isn't all. Yes, Mango says the above, but he also says that Firefly should focus on his "actual skills" (all of which are physical, mind), that as a pegasus studying magic is a "waste of time", that Firefly's "job" and the (physical) skills required for it matter more than his dreams, that Firefly shouldn't "pretend to be a unicorn" and instead should have "pride" in "being a pegasus", and that holding such a different "philosophy" equals "spitting in the face" of the majority of pegasi who are content in acting like pegasi and earth ponies who are content in acting like earth ponies.
Yes, those declarations are softened somewhat, and a few nice examples of this or that are provided, but taken in its full implications such a discourse is a slap in the face of every visionary ever. Take any age in history, look at any "different" person living then and doing those out of the ordinary things that'll result in our modern society with all of its benefits. This discourse applies to them, and would discourage them just as much.
From an in-universe perspective then, here's what's happening: Mango is using an extreme form of socially conservative discourse to try and discourage Firefly from his more technologically progressive ideas. Being articulate in the status quo, Mango can provide a ready, easy to understand argument. This Firefly, being a pioneer, fails at expressing what he actually seeks, and when trying to do so does it quite badly since his focus isn't in learning how to be articulate enough to convince others, instead he just moves on trying to make it happen.
If there's one thing I see as positive in Mango's author's story then, it's that Firefly isn't convinced by Mango. He's hurt by Mango's argument, but not enough to drop his quest. Let's hope then that he, like Firefly's author's own Firefly, manages to find it. If he does, others too will see its worth. If he doesn't, well, there's always the option of going back to being just one more pegasus.
Firefly's Author
(Disclaimer: Not sure if I count as the audience since I only started reading everything at the quarterfinals and didn't even comment back then, but if I do, then my vote goes to Firefly's author. Otherwise, ignore xD)
Firefly's entry: There were some heart-warming moments. I loved the atmosphere. Skilfully written, and I was really able to enjoy both characters- though I can understand that for the finals people probably wanted a more exciting and self-contained story than an entire chapter of something that feels like epilogue, even if it is an original and interesting one. I mean, we could criticize your choice of genre, but for the one you chose, it was well executed.
Mango Leaf's entry: The temple is a fun and funky idea, but I feel that it could have been solidified as a concept more to be more interesting. Well, that's understandable, since they only had so many words to use. However, that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the lack of suspension of disbelief I experienced throughout the whole story. I think the main reason for that was the extreme cringeworthiness of annoying OOC Firefly (which just kept me grimacing as I thought of how Firefly's author must feel) and how the plot development kind of... relied on it. It was like watching Party Pooped (the Yak episode of MLP) all over again. For instance, as Burraku_Pansa was saying... where did that reservedness go? Another one of Firefly's central character traits is the study of magic; and he is supposed to quite good at it, too. In this story, he was only a haphazard magic fanboy with little to back whatever he was talking about, instead of being an expert of the field. (edit: just to clarify, I'm not saying that authors have to adopt each others canon. I'm saying that it'd be OOC for someone who can develop such expertise to have the personality of a total hack.)
Despite all of the risky business of authors handling each others OCs tho. I'm really impressed by this competition being so big and successful! I don't know if I could ever have that kind of trust but- this has been a really fun read! :D
6368055
As I said in my critique, I disagreed with Mango's stated arguments on the matter of magic use. I didn't go into it any more deeply, instead just noting that it was just an opinion I held and leaving it at that, but I had the same impression on that particular point as 6367864 did, D. I saw Mango and Firefly as representing two extreme differing opinions, one of which the author clearly favored over the other. Mango's extreme was that objective progress like races being able to utilize other races' abilities was unnatural and/or silly and/or bad—backed up with laughably anecdotal evidence almost to the tune of "everybody knows it so it must be true." Just because one family of farmers and a personal farmer friend of Mango's far prefer not to use magic, that means that "any self-respecting farmer" would balk at the idea of lightening their load through magic? The argument went into ad hominem territory, too ('"Really?" Mango asked, venom dripping from his voice. "So far you've proven that your studies in magic amount to theory.'), implying that because Firefly specifically was a failure, it meant that his idea was faulty. And obviously, Firefly's extreme position was that one race's ability set is far and away the best and most useful, to the apparent worthlessness of the others.
Both characters were wrong or incomplete in their thinking. The key for me, though, is that they're characters—they were Mango's author's take on Mango and Firefly. It's alright for them to be idiots, and so that didn't factor into my decision. Only the fact that it felt like the author was speaking through Mango at times rather than using Mango's own voice really bothered me.
True, but telling over showing was a significant issue with Mango's author's piece. I'll point back to my earlier comment, where I mentioned that aspects of Firefly's character were made to be relevant before they were established. I'll also add on that I thought Mango's author did a fairly lacking job of describing the scenery, in places, but yada yada wordcount.
6368536
It sounds like you're mostly new to the competition, so you may not know: the authors' entries past and present aren't the be-all, end-all canon for what the characters are supposed to be like. That honor goes to the character sheets. While it can easily be argued that Mango's author's characterization of Firefly was overly simplistic, I'm not sure it could be effectively argued that it was out of character.
6368536 From the character sheet:
It's never stated that he's an expert, and not actually having any practice in casting spells like a unicorn and going for a really hard one by all intents and purposes (teleportation) is not a recipe for him to excel. Of course it's a detail that shouldn't affect your vote if you have more than one reason, but it's at least something you shouldn't count against the author. His depiction of Firefly was no more or less OOC than Firefly's own depiction of the character.
Mango Leaf's Author
First, what I liked about the stories: The strength of Mango Leaf's story is in the creativity of its premise. Whereas most stories in this contest have cast the two OCs as co-protagonists in the story, Mango Leaf's story establishes Mango as the clear protagonist and Firefly as the clear antagonist. I like that the author was not afraid to write a piece that cast one OC as the villain and focused on the flaws of one of the characters. Furthermore, I liked the boldness in challenging and criticizing Firefly's entire world view. The story sets up a very nice character arc for Firefly, transforming him into a unicorn to grant him the magic that he has sought for his entire career, yet showing him that magic is not the solution to every problem. In contrast, the writing is really the strength of Firefly's piece. The story starts off with a great narrative voice befitting the comedic, exaggerated show-down between Mango and Firefly over the temperature of their food. When Firefly announces that he hates frozen foods and thinks that all food tastes better cooked, I was laughing out loud and ready to see the sparks fly. Both stories do a great job with the characterization, using the stories to nicely highlight the very different demeanors and outlooks of Mango and Firefly.
Firefly's story, however, can feel a bit disjointed at times. For example, the extended description of the PSC interrupted the flow of the story and felt like those times when TV shows are paid to advertise a product during the actual show (because everyone skips over the commercials on their DVRs). More broadly, the tone and subject of Firefly's story change from the ridiculous and comedic argument over the proper way of serving fruits to much more serious discussion of mortality. The direction of the story is foreshadowed by Firefly's first appearance in the story, so the transition not so jarring, but I didn't really see much thematic connection between the story that make them add up to something greater than the sum of their two parts. In contrast, Mango Leaf's story feels much more coherent. It sets up some nice character development for Firefly, showing him that magic is not the solution to all of his problems, and Mango Leaf, making him realize that he's afraid of settling down, which both stem nicely from the broader thematic focus on the characters reaching out for that which they do not have while failing to appreciate all that they do have. (I will note that, like some of the commenters, I'd fall somewhat more on Firefly's side of the argument and thought that his side was somewhat of a strawman. Mango's argument also carries some unfortunate implications if carried further. However, the story nonetheless does a good job of conveying a coherent message).
Ultimately, I'm voting for Mango's story because it not only tells a story that develops the characters and makes important insights into their personalities, but also uses the story as a vehicle to explore some larger themes and ideas.
6368536
Well, that was a different take on Firefly. I'd probably have liked Mango Leaf's Author's entry more had he followed the standard set by other authors during this competition of depicting their opponents' OCs under a more positive light, so I can sympathize with authors who feel their OCs were misused. But, truth be said, I didn't state in the character sheet that Firefly wasn't an asshole, so Mango Leaf's author depicting him as one isn't breaking any rule.
I agree with your comment on the overall plot. Mango's Author wrote a good basic adventure story. For my part, the last two pieces I wrote were action stories, and I wanted to do something different in this final round, so I wrote a slice-of-life story about a pony helping a stranger depressed at seeing his end approaching, despite the fact that the stranger had actually tried to brush him off. As far as I am concerned though, the highlight of this round was actually Lilligold's Author's story, a beautifully executed horror tale. If this had been a three-way competition that story would have deservedly won hands-down!
It's been a pleasure writing for this competition, and whether Mango Leaf's Author or I win, I intend to expand Firefly's story with new chapters, and new scenes to the existing chapters.
6369943
I mean, I can see what Mango's author was trying to go for, and even though I think he or she failed to some degree, I don't believe it's fair to call his or her take on Firefly a misuse of the character. Or even an asshole, really—just simultaneously pushy and defensive on the one particular topic. As you say, it doesn't go against the sheet, and that particular aspect is actually spelled out (or at least heavily implied) right in your character's "What gets him into Trouble" section. Moreover, it works into the story's plot, so it's not even a characterization decision made arbitrarily in a storytelling sense, like some of your decisions on how to characterize Mango Leaf here might be described.
Also, I'm electing not to dance around it: In terms of "misuse", at least in the sense of going against the character sheets (i.e. the realest, most absolute guidelines on how these characters are to be used), you yourself had one of the more egregious slip-ups of the contest. While I wasn't affected personally, I have to say that I find your stated sympathy to be vaguely patronizing.
FIREFLY’S AUTHOR
I can't believe I'm voting this way, but here's what it comes down to:
Neither story was amazing. In fact, for a finals round, this terribly, terribly disappointing. Mango had this in the bag, but his story feels rushed and, more importantly, mean-spirited. Firefly's story meanwhile is uninspiring, until he decides to do something different. And while that twist can definitely be criticized for a ploy for feels, there's also a meta component, an acknowledgement of insecurity from the author, which, coupled with Mango's deconstruction of Firefly's character and general vitriolic disdain for everything he's stood for up until now, makes a lot of sense. I think, at this point, it's more a vote against Mango than a vote for Firefly, but that's what you get.
And what the authors get is a liveblog of each story, since it's the finals. I'll do one for Lilligold too, once I can, probably tomorrow.
Mango vs. Firefly
Okay, seriously, it’s
2015the finals, could you not have come up with an actual title for this story? :| Nooo, a month? D: Please tell me that month happens during this story, I’m dying for this wedding Mango. Wow, Firefly’s annoying. ...The TRULY STUPID? Really? Wow, there’s a lot of missing words here. Body-swapping, eh? I can’t say I’m terribly enthralled by this. Yaknow, with the way this is going, it kind of feels like you’re putting paid to Firefly, having fun at the character’s expense. And as much as I’ve never really liked Firefly, that feels awfully mean-spirited. I mean, the ‘vs.’ has never felt more appropriate. Firefly’s not exactly giving as well as he took, here. I like the ending, but, eh. I’m awfully disappointed by this. I do at least hope you’ll be writing a followup once the contest is over.A Contest of Wills
Mango’s observations on the names are fun. Hah, an epipen. I’m amused by how similar their introductions are in the two stories. So you’re playing Firefly as the anti-Mango Leaf? What? Oh god, dem Haymalayas. Haha, calling the kids over, great! Oh, it was Pound, Pumpkin and Twist? I like this. Okay, so right now, all I’m thinking of is that one SNL (I think) Star Trek skit, with Scotty declaring everything looking like a Zinger. (I can’t find it, this is going to bother me for days.) Whoa. Okay, that takes this to a whole new level. Wow, I’ve never cared about Firefly as a character, and this entry may not even change that, but what a thing to throw into what was, up until that point, a fairly light-hearted story! (Oh my god, Twist was in a story with a twist, how dare you XD) I suppose I could criticize this as a ploy for sympathy, but the things they talk about ring true. Up until the twist, I was really debating which story to vote for, but I think you’ve turned it around at the end. Here’s to the underdog!
Mango Leaf's Author
Mango's feeling very sassy this round, isn't he? Holy crap, that sass. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I liked most else. I loved that Mango brought back all of his previous opponents for a big finale moral thing. That was pretty awesome. Makes me want to see the wedding as the post-contest prize story.
For how harsh Mango's jabs at Firefly were, they were pretty spot-on. Except for maybe the emphasis on impressing Rainbow Dash. Good meta snipe, but doesn't make as much sense in-world.
Overall, Mango's entry was a very good choice for the final round, and was executed well.
Then we have Firefly's entry.
Not as impressive in the dialogue or the details and took a long time to get on track, but once it did the feels got to me like the author was hoping. So good job on that. This was another good endcap on a continuing story, but for me it just wasn't a big enough focus. I would've liked more hints to a bigger problem when they were talking about froyo, and really less talking about froyo would've been better, I think. I don't know what the extra space would've been used for, but it felt like the story changed directions two-thirds in instead of revealing where it had been heading to all along, you know?
It's a little thing to base a decision on, but it was a close call. Both authors did an awesome job of wrapping up their continuing stories, and both handled their opposite pretty well (Mango more than Firefly in this case).
I'm not nearly as coherent or as attentive right now as I'd like to be, but it's been a busy week and a busy day, and I'm tired.
6368256 I don't think the conflict for either character was really about being a visionary or the status quo. Firefly's motivation and argument (in Mango's story, at least) are based on the belief that unicorn magic is directly superior to other types, and that offended Mango a little bit. Mango's argument isn't that the status quo is better than Firefly's vision, but that Firefly is a little bit misguided in his understanding of the usefulness of unicorn magic. It is a discouragement to Firefly, but it's less telling him to not reach higher and more telling him not to push other things lower. What Mango is really saying is to not forget how useful Pegasi and Earth Ponies already are without magic. Their little adventure in the cave was a nice illustration that unicorn magic isn't the answer to everything like this Firefly believes it is.
I didn't see a suppressed visionary in this Firefly, I saw someone who was trying to fix problems that weren't quite what he thought they were. I do like that he wasn't quite convinced by the end, but I also like that he probably was soon after.
This was really disappointing, as far as finals go. I don't even feel like voting. . . .
Firefly's Author
Regrettably, neither story did much for me, so I don't have much to say here. Mango's story had my interest from the get-go, and there was some nice foreshadowing and whatnot in there, but once it got into the latter half which was almost entirely philosophical conversations that I personally didn't find too realistic, it left me with a bad taste. Not a horrid story by any stretch, but certainly not Mango's author's best.
Firefly's story started off very bland for me, but once the Twist hit, it hooked me pretty hard. I don't know if that's something the author planned from the outset of this contest or if it's a twist they made up for this story specifically, but it worked for me. Again, not overly fond of it being a conversation story more than anything else, but I just think it flowed better than Mango's.
Kudos both of y'all for making it this far! This may have not been the best showing, but I know from previous rounds that you both deserve to be here. Whoever wins deserves it. Good luck!
Mango Leaf's Author
This one was close, but for a few wrong reasons.
Mango Leaf's suffered from quite a few mechanical errors, most noticeably some missing words. Meanwhile, Firefly's entry felt rushed and the twist didn't feel very supported in the context of the story. I mean, I'm down for out-of-nowhere twists, but usually you can go back in the story and see the build-up you couldn't see before. I didn't quite that here. I did like that Firefly also picked up the Gilette thing Mango started a few rounds back. I love me some continuity.
In the end, though, I enjoyed Mango's story quite a bit, and it edged out Firefly.
6369004
I don't follow. I didn't see that extreme at all. I'm not even sure how you could see that extreme.
What I saw was Firefly insisting that everyone should use magic and that to do otherwise was pointless. That everything should be about maximizing efficiency. That magical ability trumped any other talent. Mango was just saying, "No, these other talents are also great, here's why, and you shouldn't try to discredit them like that. Also, hard work trumps all." I'm just not seeing the extreme you're seeing. I guess I can see where he was so taken aback by Firefly's extremism that he countered a bit too hard, but beyond that, I just don't see it.
6383609
Mostly, I got the impression from lines like these:
Your interpretation is perfectly valid, and I knew as I was reading that it was what the author was most likely going for, but lines like these have some deeper implications. They're the exact sort of pseudo-Luddite sentiments you'd pick up on in things like the Paul Bunyon and John Henry tall tales (or at least comparatively recent adaptations of them), and even the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 episode of MLP—painting the advent of a new, convenient technology as a sort of immoral "easy way out". It's more than just the argument itself: Firefly as a character is made to have a clearly lazy, dismissive position that plays right into it (just as the logging machine owner or the steam-powered hammer or Flim and Flam are all made out to be sleazy and/or dismissive representatives of technology to better sell the anti-technology/pro–human effort outlook). The argument reads so much like those blunt, flawed sorts of things that I couldn't put it out of my mind, personally.