- Member Since 29th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen Jan 8th, 2019
TheBluWaffle
Just trying to be a better writer...and also trying to write more often.
TheBluWaffle
Joined 29th Sep, 2014 ·
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Oh, fathers, always allowing their daughters to f*** each other lol
Actually, this kinda reminds me of KissxSis, since they are technically step-sisters. The only hig different, is there's no third sibling…
Well shit! This is a first of reading filly Rainbow and Fluttershy having sex. Well done of coming something original for the FlutterDash universe.
However, there were slight problems. But I'm not going to type a whole fucking paragraph about those problems, so I'll just write them down. One, some grammar mistake, not a lot just noticeable. Two, you could have added more to this story. It felt like you were rushing it a little bit for you could begin your next fic. But hey, maybe I'm wrong and this is exactly how you wanted this fic to go down so congratulation.
6507008 To be quite honest, I tried not to rush it, though on some parts I defiantly did, but most of it I tried to spend substantial time on. Trying to work on slowing down my story writing xD
And yes, I never checked back for grammar mistakes. I try to edit on the spot, but I do miss things sometimes, which I also will work on.
Thank you for your criticism. I always enjoy getting tips on how to be a better writer :)
6505316 xD
Interesting. I don't think I've read that story, but it's cool that they're similar.
6505316 no not kissxsis anything but that :dddd
So, while Fluttershy lay all snug in her bed,
visions of Rainbow's plums danced in her head.
Then Dash away, Dash away, Dash away all!
Santa ain't the only one that can come down her chimney!
This has potential. I look forward to reading the rest.