• Member Since 28th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Aug 9th, 2019

Royal Radiance


Hello, I am Royal Radiance (formerly Widgetgidget) and I love writing stories about ponies. Feel free to peruse my stories and I hope you enjoy it,if you like it or have advice,tell me, help's wanted

T

Soarin is tired of the fan girls that only want him for his fame and when things seem hopeless, he does what he does when he's upset,eat an apple pie and when he does, he meets Mare of his dreams. The sex tag is for suggestive themes.

Chapters (0)
Comments ( 23 )

Soarin is tired of the fan girls that only want him for his fame

it always looks like that for Dash and Soarin, maybe i read this, it would not be fair not to give it a chance only because of other fanfictions with him.

Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm not saying they couldn't work together however, I honestly think that just about the only thing they have in common is their love for flying, besides that Soarin is a sweet, goofy and sometimes clueless pony while rainbow is brash, confident(not that Soarin isn't, probably the only other similarly) and nonromantic, however she does show some signs of caring of somepony in an intimate way, they way that she is with Scootaloo makes me wonder why Faust said they couldn't be sisters, you might as well say that rainbow adopted her. So Soarindash? Maybe, then again they say opposites attract, although I honestly believe that chemistry is more important. Also I'm not forgetting this needs conflict, so a certain cyan mare is going to be quite upset seeing one of her best friends with her long time idol and crush.

I guess you're right, although I'm not saying they never met. Also I may have to consider this sexual innuendo for later on, sounds saucey to me. Also if you want clop really bad and so does everyone else, I'm not opposed to making this a clop/romance. I initially want this to be a innocent romance because people get quite anal about the clop that I make, that's probably because I may or may not have inserted some fetishizes that were looked down upon. Also I noticed the description said "hopelessly" and I literally face palmed, stupid autocorrect! :flutterrage: finally thanks for pointing this all out, this is all very helpful. /)

4.bp.blogspot.com/-M0j4gUaZK8s/UEkwQuxctbI/AAAAAAAAI7A/QUmyoY5e3PQ/s1600/mlfw2379-99229_-_animated_applejack_Applelie_liarjack_what_.gif

I agree, I abhor diper fetishizes (to each their own, don't get mad because I don't like what you do[to those who like diper fetishizes]and also if you get mad I just want you to know I'm unphased by your pointless attacks.) finally I removed some redundant information and I will make this a romance with some suggestive themes,you're right, I need to make stuff I'm proud of although my main goal as an author is to entertain my readers and if they aren't then my job is for not and judging by the likes, I'm doing an awful job, *sigh*, so maybe I should have not put the dripping part in. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, what am I doing wrong with this story? I just don't know anymore.

Oh thanks for your very descriptive criticism, I'll cherish it forever(I hope to Celestia that you know you know I'm being sarcastic, if not all of the Star Trek face palm memes for you.) what makes you say that, you are being very discreet and fire away, I'm not afraid of getting a bit so nice criticism, I can take it.

I didn't see any mistakes, but if you did, please pointer them out.

6102752

Three wraps were made at the door as the bashful yellow mare answered.

I see Twilight is the new Ponyville Subway Sandwich Artist

Lol, good one! Wait, did I use the wrong word for that, was it supposed to be "rapped?"

6102948
Three raps would be the right one.

Ok, thanks for noticing! I'll fix that.

Okay, because it seems everyone is focusing on the bad things about the story, I'll do the opposite and focus on the good.

...yeah, I got nothing. :applejackunsure:

Sorry.

6101886 I like your description and will consider using it, thanks for the advice! Also how did you know I'm autistic, lol (I'm high functioning). :rainbowlaugh:

6103688 okay, nothing is good, do you care to explain why? And it's okay if you don't like it, I'm not going to put it against you and I'm not upset, however the people who don't like it apparently can't take a couple of minutes to tell me what I'm doing wrong. :applejackunsure: :flutterrage:

6103709 Grammar and pacing need work, and the whole thing feels really forced. Literally everything that the characters say, do, and even think is driven by the plot. The characters are OoC, the dialogue is incredibly awkward, the whole thing is extremely rushed - need I go on?

Ok I understand, could you offer any ideas of how I can make this better next chapter or even to edit the intro? I'd be definitely appreciated.

6103795 Not really. My recommendation would be to just write a new story, after learning a bit more about writing a good story. I suggest reading some of the lectures in the School for New Writers.

6103787 I don't see where they are Ooc.I see Soarin as a sweetheart, confident and sometimes confused(that's the way he's portrayed in the show last time I checked unless somehow you watch some other version that I'm unaware of.) now I guess Fluttershy is a little Ooc, she is quite romantic and her shyness would likely prevent that but she's also kind and caring, shy(I don't know what is more shy than fainting at the mention of going on a date.). I believe that once she warmed up to the idea of dating, her compassionate side would prevail over her shy side and she would be quite romantic.I'll try to make sure pacing is slow enough and I don't see any grammar errors,I always look it over before posting, maybe I'm blind and I missed something.So am I wrong, is there something else or do you not agree? Enlighten me, please.

Everyone lets have sex!......
Ok no one... bye

Lol, I'll think about it, more than likely in the sequel.I'm talking about the story, I hope the same goes for you, although it doesn't seem like it.