3104970 Sometimes the best things learned are taught with the worst lessons imaginable.
Sure, Dash may have enjoyed just having fun, but until she realised that sometimes 'just having fun' doesn't work she couldn't recognise how much she missed her time with Twilight, where they cared for each other.
A disturbing but effective chapter. Still, it's best not to forget that the very first chapter of the story has Rainbow Dash for all intents and purposes sexually assault Twilight Sparkle. What do I mean by this? I dunno. But it perhaps shows how much Dash has changed in this short time. Twilight probably should move on. But I really want those two to end up back together.
Dark and disturbing as it may be, this chapter provided a lot of insight on this story's Rainbow Dash. "I liked it" might be the wrong expression here, but I think it was good. I do hope RD gets on a better path from here on. Too bad Professor Celestia's first appearence is a bit overshadowed by the second scene.
This may sound wrong, but after reading the trigger warning and the chapter starting with Twilight, I was afraid the assault scene would feature her and some random college douchebag she's with on a rebound date or something. I'm kind of glad it was "just" Gilda and RD (if you can say that without trivalising Gilda's actions and their affect on Rainbow).
Comment posted by Fredsamson deleted Aug 25th, 2013
Seeing as how this chapter deals with a rather... touchy subject in sexual assault, it might be a good idea to put an author's note at the beginning of it to warn people.
EDIT: I have been informed that there is, in fact, a warning at the beginning of the section containing the sexual assault. Please feel free to ignore my previous comment.
Dayumn. I like the side of dash that u just pulled out their. The "I guess I'm not such a bad ass" humble version. Or at least more humble than before. I hope she goes to twilight and tells her what happened and twilight gets the cops to lock Gilda up. Then twidash for EVERYONE YAY! I'm calling it now. That shit will happen.
3105312 What he said. It's hard to react with anything other than "whew". It's the "whew" after a ten-foot fall, the one where it was nerve-wracking and terrifying and painful, but it could have gone way, way worse... as cold as that comfort might be.
This is one of the most harshly realistic depictions of sexual assault I've read, as opposed to the ones written by people who seem to think it might be kinda sorta somehow fun. No fun here, it's just brutal and sickening and makes me thank every star in the sky that I've never been there.
Can't decide if I like Dash or not in this story... She started off a bit rape-y, turned kinda sweet then into a bitch... Can she redeem herself? Fuck if I know...
ok, for t update but, durin and after that scene it maks me wanna punch gilda in t face and then slap dash for bein stupid for goin back to her and for breakin up with twi god, i hope thing turn better soon even if it's a lil bit
Sleepless... I love your writing, but you need to do one of two things here: Rewrite this chapter, or tag the story dark. Even with your warnings, even assuming people skip the event, it happened, and its going to be referenced later in the story. If you want to include rape or sexual assault, warn future readers by tagging it correctly. I want to ask you to do a rewrite... but that's your choice.
it was mostly Dash's flirting yes. But it was also Twilight's for being so clingy.
the more I think about it not pinks fault at all. but she was funny as hell in this, I hope we see more. and I hope she gets a laid with lots of smiles
the parallels to my first time sleeping with another man are scary , i ... i commend your bravery for writing this , this is a bold peace of prose and a I am so profoundly moved by it that as i sit here typing this my ass is quivering and I'm crying so bad i can hardly see what I'm typing ... good work ... some of the best writing on this site, just remember .... it gets better
I'm just going to leave it at "daaaaaaaaaaamn!" and not really in a good way...actually not at all in a good way... good chapter, but damn son, Dark Tag much?
Very interesting chapter ! I hope we'll see Dash's soft side in the next one, if she goes back to Twilight. ( A "dark" chapter must be followed by a comfort one )
It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and you posted adequate warnings for folks.
I was actually dreading some stranger danger. But your depiction is more realistic--since in most cases sexual assault is carried out by people that the victim already knew or was in a current relationship with.
I gotta say, that was damn considerate of you to put up a warning. I still read, but that was cool of you to give people who feel uncomfortable with it a heads up. And pretty good writing, if I may say so.
3118999 I didn't quite understand that either. Like is Twilight seriously such an overly attached girl, that she actually decided by herself that they're in a relationship now? I didn't read anything about Rainbow Dash agreeing to such a thing.
But I guess time passed by between chapters, so ya.. They're together, and there's no chapter missing.
Yeah and it also shows how much she longed for a relationship as she had with Twi. But her usual acting/behaviour from the times before with "every cunt she fucked" while still calling/meeting Gilda interfered more and more the fear of Twi of losing Dash/of not being enough for her. Though in this chap we got an insight of RD which showed us otherwise. I really liked in the writings how RD tried to ensure her that she was still cool, not nervous, that she still liked this shit, etc and etc and slowly more and more broke through the disillusion of herself and realized this was bullshit, sure she was wet and everything, but she didn't liked it one bit. I liked how often both Twi and Dash thought of the other one but how different the situation was. For Twi it was with her most admired "mentor" Professor Celestia who she doesn't listen to and just wants to be left alone; for Dash it's her ex-gf/still fuck buddy Gilda with who she has "sex" aka gets abused by her and then thrown out.
Gawd, it was such an emotional horrible ride. The whole time I was screaming to Dash to pack her stuff and go till it was too late and Gilda had her like a spider her prey. The most horrible thing was how helpless Dash was during all this and how much she came but that despite it how awful she felt. Imagine Dash curling up into a ball covering her breast and love mound, thatt's just...
The whole Pinkie issue will come back if Gilda starts using that knife to "get back her dyke Dash". Poor Pinkie.
Yikes. THAT went wrong!
~Skeeter The Lurker
3104646 Why is it that every time I see your avatar picture it just keeps getting better and better.
3104675
The Bowser head is only temp, I'm afraid.
I like the smiling face of Aku too much.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Good lord, that was intense. And if that's what Rainbow used to do for sex, no wonder she's how she is...
Damn.
Da fuq?! That was bad dude.
So... that happened!
Gilda's a pain in the ass.
Fuck. Just... fuck.
Finally, an update!
Well then....that was good.
I enjoyed it all to be honest. Loved professor Celestia.
3104683 I've started getting the oddest urge to swap my profile pic to Jack and start stalking you, just for fun.
Also, I liked this chapter because it showed Dash what she gave up on, and made her realise she shouldn't have.
3104954
Do eeet.
And yes, I agree with that completely.
It was, despite the graphic nature of it, very well done.
~Skeeter The Lurker
yay for updates! hope the next one comes out soon!
3104970 Sometimes the best things learned are taught with the worst lessons imaginable.
Sure, Dash may have enjoyed just having fun, but until she realised that sometimes 'just having fun' doesn't work she couldn't recognise how much she missed her time with Twilight, where they cared for each other.
3104993
Agreed.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Ack.
A disturbing but effective chapter. Still, it's best not to forget that the very first chapter of the story has Rainbow Dash for all intents and purposes sexually assault Twilight Sparkle. What do I mean by this? I dunno. But it perhaps shows how much Dash has changed in this short time. Twilight probably should move on. But I really want those two to end up back together.
3104995 Aku is pretty cool guy.
Dark and disturbing as it may be, this chapter provided a lot of insight on this story's Rainbow Dash. "I liked it" might be the wrong expression here, but I think it was good. I do hope RD gets on a better path from here on. Too bad Professor Celestia's first appearence is a bit overshadowed by the second scene.
This may sound wrong, but after reading the trigger warning and the chapter starting with Twilight, I was afraid the assault scene would feature her and some random college douchebag she's with on a rebound date or something. I'm kind of glad it was "just" Gilda and RD (if you can say that without trivalising Gilda's actions and their affect on Rainbow).
Seeing as how this chapter deals with a rather... touchy subject in sexual assault, it might be a good idea to put an author's note at the beginning of it to warn people.
EDIT: I have been informed that there is, in fact, a warning at the beginning of the section containing the sexual assault. Please feel free to ignore my previous comment.
Man, that was cold!
Dayumn. I like the side of dash that u just pulled out their. The "I guess I'm not such a bad ass" humble version. Or at least more humble than before. I hope she goes to twilight and tells her what happened and twilight gets the cops to lock Gilda up. Then twidash for EVERYONE YAY! I'm calling it now. That shit will happen.
nice work,but I feel bad for Pinkie not only did she brake them up but now Gild has her name...
That chapter sure was a mule kick to the solar plexus. I hope Dash'll be ok. And that this is the last we see of Gilda.
3105312
What he said. It's hard to react with anything other than "whew". It's the "whew" after a ten-foot fall, the one where it was nerve-wracking and terrifying and painful, but it could have gone way, way worse... as cold as that comfort might be.
This is one of the most harshly realistic depictions of sexual assault I've read, as opposed to the ones written by people who seem to think it might be kinda sorta somehow fun. No fun here, it's just brutal and sickening and makes me thank every star in the sky that I've never been there.
So... uh... good job, I guess?
Can't decide if I like Dash or not in this story... She started off a bit rape-y, turned kinda sweet then into a bitch... Can she redeem herself? Fuck if I know...
The writing was bad.
3106522
Yea I worry for Pinkie. I understand not giving Twilights name but Pinkie is too close to the truth and puts her into potential risk.
ok, for t update but, durin and after that scene it maks me wanna punch gilda in t face and then slap dash for bein stupid for goin back to her and for breakin up with twi god, i hope thing turn better soon even if it's a lil bit
Sleepless... I love your writing, but you need to do one of two things here: Rewrite this chapter, or tag the story dark. Even with your warnings, even assuming people skip the event, it happened, and its going to be referenced later in the story. If you want to include rape or sexual assault, warn future readers by tagging it correctly. I want to ask you to do a rewrite... but that's your choice.
Well, now I'm waiting for Dash saying Pinkie's name instead of Twilight to come back later and end poorly. Oh jeeze.
3106522
Aww, don't pin the break-up on Pinkie. That was all Dash.
3108180 I request the highest of fives.
Yeah I feel like shit
I just...
Hmm. I suppose I expected to come out of this chapter feeling like this.
At least we got to see Professor Celestia for the first time.
3108231
it was mostly Dash's flirting yes. But it was also Twilight's for being so clingy.
the more I think about it not pinks fault at all. but she was funny as hell in this, I hope we see more. and I hope she gets a laid with lots of smiles
3109520
Yeah, I was so excited to see Pinkie introduced, and I just can't wait to see more of her.
3109843
just remember. her boobs bite
Fucking hell, talk about mood whiplash.
the parallels to my first time sleeping with another man are scary , i ... i commend your bravery for writing this , this is a bold peace of prose and a I am so profoundly moved by it that as i sit here typing this my ass is quivering and I'm crying so bad i can hardly see what I'm typing ... good work ... some of the best writing on this site, just remember .... it gets better
This is gold! I said to myself, "one chapter a day".. well that ain't happening..
Not bad. Still waiting for Up in the Clouds to update. But not bad.
That was surely different.
I'm just going to leave it at "daaaaaaaaaaamn!"
and not really in a good way...actually not at all in a good way...
good chapter, but damn son, Dark Tag much?
Make moar chapters. This was completely messed up and I loved it.
Very interesting chapter ! I hope we'll see Dash's soft side in the next one, if she goes back to Twilight. ( A "dark" chapter must be followed by a comfort one )
It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and you posted adequate warnings for folks.
I was actually dreading some stranger danger. But your depiction is more realistic--since in most cases sexual assault is carried out by people that the victim already knew or was in a current relationship with.
Gilda would EAT John Bender....
for breakfast.
I gotta say, that was damn considerate of you to put up a warning. I still read, but that was cool of you to give people who feel uncomfortable with it a heads up. And pretty good writing, if I may say so.
3118999 I didn't quite understand that either. Like is Twilight seriously such an overly attached girl, that she actually decided by herself that they're in a relationship now?
I didn't read anything about Rainbow Dash agreeing to such a thing.
But I guess time passed by between chapters, so ya.. They're together, and there's no chapter missing.
3104695
Yeah and it also shows how much she longed for a relationship as she had with Twi. But her usual acting/behaviour from the times before with "every cunt she fucked" while still calling/meeting Gilda interfered more and more the fear of Twi of losing Dash/of not being enough for her. Though in this chap we got an insight of RD which showed us otherwise.
I really liked in the writings how RD tried to ensure her that she was still cool, not nervous, that she still liked this shit, etc and etc and slowly more and more broke through the disillusion of herself and realized this was bullshit, sure she was wet and everything, but she didn't liked it one bit. I liked how often both Twi and Dash thought of the other one but how different the situation was. For Twi it was with her most admired "mentor" Professor Celestia who she doesn't listen to and just wants to be left alone; for Dash it's her ex-gf/still fuck buddy Gilda with who she has "sex" aka gets abused by her and then thrown out.
Gawd, it was such an emotional horrible ride. The whole time I was screaming to Dash to pack her stuff and go till it was too late and Gilda had her like a spider her prey. The most horrible thing was how helpless Dash was during all this and how much she came but that despite it how awful she felt. Imagine Dash curling up into a ball covering her breast and love mound, thatt's just...
The whole Pinkie issue will come back if Gilda starts using that knife to "get back her dyke Dash". Poor Pinkie.
3105481
I so so so hope for one involving both Twi and Dash! >.<
But I can't see it the way everything is messed up right now!