Epilogue: Freakout
As everyone returned to the Golden Oak library, Twilight's laughter about what Sapphire had said started to take a slightly hysterical tinge to it. "You okay, Twilight?" Spike asked.
"Well...it's just..." Twilight shivered a bit. "Well...if I'm still me...then the Ponyville librarian, former student of Princess Celestia, known unstable researcher and prone to panic attacks over silly things...that's now a Princess of Equestria?" She chuckled a bit. "I'm just a bit mortally terrified."
"But you're an alicorn now!" Pinkie Pie pointed out happily. "Shouldn't it be immortally terrified?" she offered helpfully.
Rarity, Spike, and Discord were certain they heard a snapping sound. "Thank you, Pinkie," Twilight said very carefully. "I hadn't even considered that possible aspect of my situation."
"You're welcome!" Pinkie replied eagerly, completely oblivious to what she'd unwittingly just set off.
"Yes," Twilight continued, her grin getting a bit mad. "I hadn't even considered the fact that as an alicorn, I might be immortal now, and will have to sit unchanged and unchangeable as I watch everyone I care about - including my five closest friends who I would never have gotten here without - age, wither away, and die! How wonderful of you to let me know!"
"Happy to help!" Pinkie chirped happily.
"And I could outlive my BBBFF!" Twilight gasped out, falling onto her back. "I might have to watch him wither away and die while I live on!" A panicked gasp escaped her lips. "Wait! What if we have another war? I'm a Princess now! That means I'll be one of the ones in charge! Making the decisions of who goes into battle where! My decisions might cost you girls your lives! Or Spike's! Or Shining's!"
She curled up tight into a ball. "But I've read enough books on military strategy to know that sometimes you have to send troops into a battle where you know they're all going to die in order to accomplish a greater objective for the good of the country! I might have to knowingly send someone I love to their deaths! How am I ever going to live with myself?"
Before anyone could react, she'd teleported herself onto the couch. "I won't be able to! I'll probably end up killing myself! Wait, I'm an alicorn! Can I suicide? Or would grief and despair turn me into a Nightmare like it did Luna? But then where would Celestia banish me to? Can't go to the moon, that's Luna's. The sun's for Celestia if she ever goes crazy. Huh, where would Cadence be sent if she went crazy from grief over losing Shining? The Crystal Heart?"
Twilight then teleported herself to the bookshelf. "Oh! Maybe Celestia will seal me in a book! That would be so relaxing...just sitting on a shelf all day with someone dusting my spine every so often, until someone comes along and reads me. I wonder what that feels like?" She pulled a book off the shelf and began stroking it. "How does it feel when I read you, little book? Is it good for you?"
Before she could get any creepier, Spike shoved a spoon into her mouth. Her eyes popped open as she began to chew...and then she relaxed, laying back on the floor as her magic seized the spoon and ice cream container, and began to spoon feed herself.
"Good thinking, Spikey-Wikey," Rarity praised. "Sometimes a lady just needs something sweet to calm her emotional turmoil."
Spike shrugged. "It's not the first time I've had to do something like this. A bit of ice cream can often stop these crazy rants when given at the right times. Problem is, ever since we came to Ponyville, she's been getting more health conscious about my diet, so has been restricting when we have ice cream in the freezer."
"Wowie zowie," Pinkie pointed out. "If being a Princess is gonna be that stressful, she's gonna go through a lot of ice cream!"
"Pinkie!" Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all shouted out as Twilight's eyes shrank to pinpricks and Discord struggled to hold in his laughter.
"I'm going to get so fat!" Twilight wailed in despair.
Pinkie's eyes widened. "Oohhh...I'm gonna just stop talking now." Grabbing hold of Sapphire, she stuck the little jelly over her mouth.
"Skree?"
"I'm going to blow up like a balloon until I'm as big as the moon!" Twilight wailed as she continued to shove ice cream into her mouth in larger and larger spoonfuls. "I'll be grotesque! No stallion or mare will want to touch me, and I'll be alone for all eternity!"
"...stallion or mare?" Rarity asked, plainly both surprised and confused.
"Romance has never been a priority for me, so I never bothered figuring out my orientation," Twilight pointed out. "But now it's not going to matter, because I'll be a big fat Princess that no one's going to want to touch!" Her eyes widened, and she let out another wail of despair. "And it's not going to matter anyway, because if I'm immortal, anyone I might try to have that kind of relationship is going to be dead before I turn around twice!"
"Mm-mph!" Pinkie spoke up, then pulled Sapphire off her mouth. "Wait! What about other immortals? The Princesses will be around, right? So you won't be alone!" As Twilight started to calm down, Pinkie said a little too much. "I mean, Princess Celestia is super-duper fond of you, right?"
"Oh, that'll go great!" Twilight shouted out. "Ask the mare who's been my teacher, confidant, and second mother to be my marefriend! That'll go over swell!"
"Well...Luna?" Pinkie suggested, a bit more nervously.
"And how well will that go when she learns I see Celestia - her older sister - as a mother?" Twilight demanded, wailing in despair.
"...Cadence?" Pinkie suggested nervously. "You...did say you'd both likely outlive Shining..."
"Oh, that'll go over great!" Twilight proclaimed. "I'll be all like, 'Hey, Cadence! I know you've been like a big sister to me my entire life, and we both miss Shining Armor ever so dearly, so why don't we comfort each other over his loss by betraying his memory by boinking each other!' I'm sure she'll just love that!"
"...Discord?" Pinkie suggested hopefully.
As Twilight looked towards Discord, he shrugged. "Sorry, but fat bookworms aren't my type."
"Discord!" everyone but Pinkie and Twilight shouted.
"What?" he asked. "I'm just being honest."
Twilight wailed in despair. "Even Discord won't touch me! I'm going to be alone fore-e-ever!"
"...I don't know whether to be amused or insulted," Discord mused idly.
"Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut," Pinkie mused.
"Grab the ice cream," Rarity whispered to Pinkie.
"Like this?" Pinkie asked, holding up the ice cream.
"Mine!" Twilight shouted as she tried to pounce, only to be seized by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.
Rarity led the two pegasi across town to the spa. She raced right up to the counter. "Aloe, Lotus, Twilight needs everything you've got. I want her so relaxed she can't even think for at least three hours." She thought for a time. "And charge the bill to Princess Celestia. She should be handling this mess, after all."
Several hours later, Twilight sighed deeply as she relaxed in the hot tub, barely awake at this point as the jets gently massaged her. "Guess...I went a little crazy back there..." she muttered under her breath.
"Just a little," Discord pointed out as he flowed along the wall as a design.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "...gonna laugh at me?" she asked drolly.
"No," he replied. "I actually came to try and help you feel better, and correct a misinterpretation of yours."
"...oh?" she asked cautiously.
"When I said 'fat bookworms' weren't my type, I was trying to lighten the mood by making a joke on what you were saying about the ice cream," Discord pointed out. "It was never meant as an insult. Besides, I don't genuinely believe you'll ever be fat. You're far too svelte for that."
"Oh," Twilight commented, blushing. "...t-thanks."
Smiling, Discord vanished.
Twilight relaxed into the water again, going over the conversation in her mind. All unwilling, her mind made the connection between the emphasis Discord made about his type and the compliment he paid her. Her head shot up out of the water.
Was Discord...flirting with me? she thought in shock.
"GYAAAAAHHH!" she screamed as yet another thing to stress about drove her towards a spiral until Aloe and Lotus rushed in.
Discord floated over the spa. "I probably shouldn't have enjoyed doing that so much," he pointed out idly.
Sapphire made a very rude noise in agreement.
"And I probably shouldn't laugh about this either."
Another rude noise confirmed this.
Discord scratched his chin for a time. "Oh, what the heck! I'll laugh anyway!"
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Now THAT was a great way to end it. "I never bothered to figure out my orientation." Fuckin' lol.
I must say, this worked out marvelously!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, SO TRUE RARITY!!!
Awesome chapter, I just love how Twilight can still start going crazy even after going through war and becoming a princess, shows she hasn't changed fully from the unicorn we all know and like.
U.U I was thinking that it was going to be a great battle of draining... Tirek Vs Saphire as they try to drain each other, or Saphire drain Tirek.
Even though it was once again a glorious chapter, I'm in bit of an melancholy mood. Another Tatsurou masterpiece has come to its conclusion and now there is one less story to follow. At least I can now hope that completing this will leave you with more time to write the others.
6294034 I honestly couldn't agree more.
This have been a very fun chapter indeed, and like 6294034 said, this is the perfect way of ending it. Oooh, Pinkie Pie, I like you so much, but you really need to learn how to better monitor what you say. And I got to say, I love the ending a lot.
It is sad to see this end, but at least we'll still be able to get an exciting sequel soon. ...I just hope it doesn't devolve into a shipping fic. I don't mind it being imply as a form of a joke, but that should be that.
C&Cs:
As everyone returned to the Golden Oaks library...
> Correction: ‘Oak Library’.
...laying back on the floor as her magic seized the spoon and ice cream container and began to spoon feed herself.
> Comma after ‘container’.
6294279 Duality is live as of about twenty minutes ago
6294291
Ooooh, thank you~! I'll be heading right for it.
6294279
While the first and third are correct, the commas were left out on the second one deliberately to show how fast Twilight is talking, not even pausing to take a breath as she panic rants.
6294306
Okay, gotcha, I'll edit it out.
6294034 When you make the sequel make a callback to that quote please.
6294636 sequel's already out as of a couple of hours ago, but I think I can manage something like that hahaha
6294670
Maybe you could have a scene where Twilight does an experiment to figure out if she's attracted to Samus...without telling Samus the purpose of the experiment! XD
6294701 I could work with that, and that would definitely add some needed comedy.
6294722
Just picturing Samus's face when Twilight starts awkwardly flirting with her out of the blue.
6294750 Just suddenly "The answer's 'no,' Twilight."
Oh god. Poor, poor Twilight. Are we sure Celestia made the right choice?
6294814
Twilight: But I'm trying to figure out my orientation by determining if I'm attracted to you!
Just the 'out there'ness of that statement aught to throw Samus for a loop, that's for sure.
6294825 "ummmm... yeah. Good luck with that, I'm gonna walk this way."
*pats her on head*
Loved it. Great ending, though Pinkie should know when to quit while she's ahead. (gives said pony a bemused look only to receive a sheepish smile in return)
"Oh, what the heck! I'll laugh anyway!"
...Up late dealing with a faulty AC, I read the epilogue, and suddenly I feel much better. Thanks for the chuckles!
"ALoe" shouldn't be capitalized like that. :D
Yeah, I get the distinct feeling discord laughed EXACTLY in that way.
6299121
MMC would have been hilarious with frenemy Discord.
...this being the next best thing to Discord actually having been in the episode or a followup.
I will read this later because I'm too busy with bioshock right now. Back to the game!
Anyone else think the ending was sort of 'incomplete'? Like there should have been more?
7379945
That's because it's supposed to be open ended to tie into "Equis II".
7380690 k den
I have bad news, and good news. The bad news is that it does show. The good news is that if you create a sequel to this, then you could say it's baby fat
This was really good. Sad that the sequel has laid abandoned for years
This ending is brilliant, can't wait to read Duality and see Sapphire and the gang are during those 2.5 years
Despite not having much context to the story that it’s related to, I enjoyed it nonetheless