7111053 You don't get rid of entrenched conspiracies without a body count at best you kill the bad guys but that still leaves all the poor sods caught in the cross fire. All of that damage encompassing those individuals on the sidelines and the dumb smucks just following orders your looking at hundreds to thousands dead at best. At worst your looking at civil war and governmental collapse. Sounds fun dont it? (I'm being sarcastic at the last bit)
7111180 Thought this was going to the "Twilight is Evil now and must be stopped" root like many other Tyrant Sparkle stories. Thankfully this one is taking a different road.
Something's been bugging me for a while now... When Gallant Heart thought his family was dead, why didn't he tell the Princesses about what Amadeus did?
7192311 And the ones who MURDERED HER SON were? Not mention they didn't even have to since Twilight was their intended target, they did it solely out of SPITE.
7192671 This isn't a criticism, it's just an idea I came up with. How is everypony going to feel if it comes out that the trial and execution was faked? That might spark a lack of trust in the monarchy ("what else have you lied to us about?") Just a thought I had.
I'm really wanting to enjoy this story-and to be quite frank I am-but there's several things holding it back. For one, the pacing just feels off, maybe a little fast. You are doing so many time skips, but it still feels like we're not getting to see the true heart of some of the things we're getting an overview of. Another is some bad grammatical issues-I think you need to look over the chapters a few more times, find another proof reader, etc. Finally, I feel disconnected from whichever perspective character we're with at the time. I'm just not getting the emotion and connection that really great stories can create.
Still, this is enjoyable, and the plot is interesting so far.
This is good so far, I hope Amadeus will get what's coming to him. We know in the cannon timeline he flees to Unicornia, but what if Twilight had access to a weapon like Project Zeus from GI Joe Retaliation in order to demoralize him? Or to destroy that land as a warning to others who dare help the ones who killed her son?
nicely done; also, about that flashback scene with Rainbow, Flash, and the mystery pony: a secret message that is destroyed when everything is said and done? ...any chance you've seen any MissionImpossiblemedia, because that's what this reminded me of
"She actually believed the Griffin's claims that during the war against them they didn't attack any of the hospitals at Horseshoe bay even when they had a clear shot, or the fact that we actually attacked several of their civilian districts while killing innocents!"
Cap. __________
Her opponent landed next to her with a look of disappointment on his face. "You really need to stop rushing in headfirst like that." Flash stated as he helped her up. "I was able to pinpoint at least five openings in your stance, and need to be able to read your opponent's movements in order to react properly."
you need _________
8574507 Yeah. That's the thing about death. It's quick(ish) and when it's over that being no longer suffers.
Which makes death a form of mercy which is too kind for those terrorist.
I see what you did there.
Nobles and other ponies altering and maintaining a false history that makes them look like the best than as assholes.
I see this story is going by "the ends justifies the means" type of story.
"History is written by the winners, but the truth is written by the defeated."
An apt quote, if ever there was one.
7111053 You don't get rid of entrenched conspiracies without a body count at best you kill the bad guys but that still leaves all the poor sods caught in the cross fire. All of that damage encompassing those individuals on the sidelines and the dumb smucks just following orders your looking at hundreds to thousands dead at best. At worst your looking at civil war and governmental collapse. Sounds fun dont it? (I'm being sarcastic at the last bit)
7111053 Considering how this story started out.... what did you think it was going to be?
7111180 Thought this was going to the "Twilight is Evil now and must be stopped" root like many other Tyrant Sparkle stories. Thankfully this one is taking a different road.
7111216 Never intended for her to be evil.
I've found a Dragonheart reference!!!!
7111873
Ok good it wasn't just me lol
Something's been bugging me for a while now... When Gallant Heart thought his family was dead, why didn't he tell the Princesses about what Amadeus did?
7138411 this is an alt reality, maybe he never found out
7191902 She had a show trial where she BURNED AN ENTIRE FAMILY WITH FOALS ALIVE. Even if it's just pretend that's not the act of a rational person.
7192311 And the ones who MURDERED HER SON were? Not mention they didn't even have to since Twilight was their intended target, they did it solely out of SPITE.
7192671 This isn't a criticism, it's just an idea I came up with. How is everypony going to feel if it comes out that the trial and execution was faked? That might spark a lack of trust in the monarchy ("what else have you lied to us about?")
Just a thought I had.
aw yeah, good to see this story back in action. Prepare to die, Amadeus!
I'm really wanting to enjoy this story-and to be quite frank I am-but there's several things holding it back. For one, the pacing just feels off, maybe a little fast. You are doing so many time skips, but it still feels like we're not getting to see the true heart of some of the things we're getting an overview of. Another is some bad grammatical issues-I think you need to look over the chapters a few more times, find another proof reader, etc. Finally, I feel disconnected from whichever perspective character we're with at the time. I'm just not getting the emotion and connection that really great stories can create.
Still, this is enjoyable, and the plot is interesting so far.
7275403
I will ensure that line is in the story. Somehow.
7346821 Hey, do you think we could have a similar line in our story? Also, did you see my blog?
7195071 The original story played too much into Amadeus's hand. Doing that would put too much favor which is NOT going to happen here.
This is good so far, I hope Amadeus will get what's coming to him. We know in the cannon timeline he flees to Unicornia, but what if Twilight had access to a weapon like Project Zeus from GI Joe Retaliation in order to demoralize him? Or to destroy that land as a warning to others who dare help the ones who killed her son?
Like this:
When is the next chapter?
when is the next chapter?
Most! I want to read how Amadeus dies slowly and in pain
Is there a chance Spike will be able to come back just asking?
7111053
Your powers of observation are astounding.
8222611
Death is far too kind of a punishment for him.
nicely done; also, about that flashback scene with Rainbow, Flash, and the mystery pony: a secret message that is destroyed when everything is said and done? ...any chance you've seen any Mission Impossible media, because that's what this reminded me of
7192671
Team Twilight for the win.
Cap.
__________
you need
_________
8574507
Yeah. That's the thing about death. It's quick(ish) and when it's over that being no longer suffers.
Which makes death a form of mercy which is too kind for those terrorist.