Changeling Army Secret Forces Logs: Dillon Mane

by Obedience

Don't Feed The Parasprites

Changeling Army Secret Forces
"Don't Feed The Parasprites"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

October 20 2010

Princess Celestia was scheduled to make a royal visit to Ponyville today. The CASF has recently sent over an experimental new tranquilizer serum and I have been tasked to test it. Why can't they do it themselves in a lab or something?

I was busy in the park... um... looking for something. Nnnnope! Totally not hitting on mares. And then I saw it. The cutest little creature I ever saw. And it's not a mare. It was (according to that encyclopedia on Equestrian animals) a Parasprite. The encyclopedia said to refrain from keeping them as pets. But it was sooooo cute! I took it home anyway. And besides, it looked like the Princess was going to be late.

When I go back to my... ahem, office, I suddenly got two parasprites in my pocket. And then I was like "What?" and I was like "Huh?" and then... I was like "Woah! Woah woah woah! Stop eating my Mac&Cheese! OMG the tomatoes! Arrrgh!!!". And what happens next? I bring out the big guns. Ok, it was only one gun. A tranquilizer gun. Hehe. And I shot both parasprites like a pro sniper. Like a boss! I locked both parasprites inside a little cage I quickly bought while they were asleep. One was blue and the other yellow. I named the blue one "Leslie" and the yellow one as "Kirk". I'm a pro at giving names.

I then closed my windows. That's one hell of an infestation out there. Parasprites, parasprites everywhere. But I couldn't sit back and watch parasprites destroy everything. I grabbed my tranquilizer gun and started shooting down as many as I could. Eventually the parasprites left, following polka music played by... Pinkie Pie. I was like "WTH?!" and then I was like "Now what do I do with all these sleeping parasprites?". The only solution I had was: Well, time to buy more cages. Scumbag brain.

Oh, and Celestia couldn't hold her visit because of an infestation of some sort in Fillydelphia. I bet I know just what kind of infestation it is. Poor Fillydelphians.

OMG I hope those parasprites don't start breeding. And, umm... I used up all the tranquilizing serum. Kthxbai!

-Report by: Agent Dillon Mane
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
--End of Log 7--

Events described in Log 8 are likely to have taken place in an alternate timeline (Adventure time!)