• Member Since 15th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Arroz


I'm from the Philippines, i like the show, and i've wanted to at least try writing for a while now.

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Luna's return was met with significant fanfare, though with all the fuss dying down, and with the formal re-establishment of the night court months away, Luna seems to have had little to do other than lounging around.

or so Celestia thinks.

When she finds Luna entering the Ministry of Records unannounced she wonders, Just what is her little sister up to?

Edit: WOOO! Featured on June 2, 2015 (at least in my country's timezone i think) Thanks to everyone!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 190 )

You could use an editor, your formating has many small slip ups, thinks like missing capital letters and unclear scene breaks. At times it was also unclear who was speaking.

This was really funny.

6039516
This comment is seconded.

On another note, why was that "Strange Fruit" thing even included, there at the end??

Reminds me of how Genghis Khan is supposed to have millions of decedents alive today.

6040596

That was sorta what i had in mind, when writing this.

6040279

To be honest, i wanted those last parts to mimic an regular newspaper,
That and the fruit thing might tie into another thing i'm planning on writing.

6040596
6040662
I take it from these two comments that Celestia calls her citizens 'her little ponies' for a good reason?

6041224

Her descendants aren't as numerous, since they only kept to the Noble bloodlines.

So who was Evening Star's father?

Strange Fruit found unclaimed at Vanhoover customs office.
Locals conflicted as to what it actually smells like.
“I thought it smelled like chicken” Bystander says

I'm more interested in this

6041903

We'll get to that eventually.

I bet Twilight's ancestry is among those 2.6 million.
It just seems right to me that Twilight would be a descendant of the Princess of Night.

Arroz #13 · Jun 1st, 2015 · · 1 ·

6042585

She's descended from both actually.

It'll need a little bit of proofreading, as it really is quite good.

I especially loved that dramabomb. Haha, she has a son.

This is a fun bit of nonsense.

They must have been multiplying like rabbits. They should really learn how to use protection. :rainbowlaugh:

Mother of Equestria i didnt see this coming. Well done.

made me think of a line from Digger by Ursula Vernon
[when Digger finds out she is the descendant of a wombat that worked on the shackle of a dying god]
"Isn't that a little ... improbable?"
"I had eight sons. A thousand years ago. You do the math."

I always imagined Twilight as a descendant of Luna. This gives a pretty damn good case that she might be.

going into my faves folder

And yet, not a ONE of those kiddies has bat winglies!

6041314
I'm going to assume Morpheus, just going off this bit-

“See for yourself.” And with that a set of lights went on, behind Luna a wall began to glow, on it was what looked to be a family tree. on it a portrait of said Night Princess lay at the top.

“Morpheus? you ended up with MORPHEUS?!” Celestia exclaimed, her hoof pointing to the portrait next to her sister

Since the progenitors of the line would be at the top, side by side, one can take away that Morpheus was the father.

Basic genetics + statistics make this to be expected. If we assume a 25 year average generation then 1000 years is 40 generations. After that long statistics strongly favor two outcomes: either your decendants died off or they are a sizable portion of the population.

Good story, an upvote for you. I wonder how many of the Mane6 belong to Luna's line. 2 out of 6 probably.

Not entirely sure if the comedy tag was needed; it was very light after all, with the only notable jokes being the mention of the song, the bet, the mother of Equestria line, and that random bit at the end. Usually the tag is reserved for balls out comedy.

P.S.
Sounds like most of Luna's son's children would have been out of wedlock and the products of one night stands. Would the records have him listed as the father in such cases?

6045634

They most definitely would regardless of legitimacy.

6045734
I guess I'm unclear about how the records work in this, maybe I missed something. Is it completely controlled by infallible magic, like it's impossible for a stallion to deny fatherhood? If a mare slept around prior to conception, would the genealogy still be able to pinpoint the correct father at birth or something? Or does this work like in our world where the father has to sign the birth certificate? (That is how it works here right? Never had kids.)

I guess I'm wondering if, had he knocked up a mare during drunken sex, sneaked out before she woke up, and neither got or remembered each others names, would he still be listed as a father in the records? If this is the case, I guess ponies will never be able to enjoy the line, "You... Are not the father!" proceeded by the guys laughing in the crying girls face.

6045812

The Magic would confirm exactly who the father is.
I never really got around to fleshing out how it works, needless to say certain things can only be passed down through blood, that and some soul magic is involved.

Celestia and the others (namely Starswirl and the Deer Seers) crafted the system both to provide for unfortunate bastards and as a way to keep some of the nobility in line.

Seeing how huge the Apple Family is, I'd say Applejack's family has a high chance of being descended from Luna.

Wasn't bad but I though its gonna be little something different

And then it turns out sunset Shimmer is Celestia's daughter.

6047160
Or descendant, Solara's descendants number Most of Canterlot at this point

6047183

But daughter is funnier, considering they both basically have the same powers.

6041270
Nobles are famous for children out of wedlock and Luna's son was noble in blood.
We don't even know how many Celstia's descendants were hidden like Luna's son.
And there is chance that Luna's descendants had children with Celestia's descendants.
In this case the title of mother of Equestria could hold thousands other ponies that were mixed in Luna's descendants.

6047191
Interesting. We don't know anything about Sunset's powers.

6047212

That's pretty much why the whole bloodline tracking system was crafted.
Celestia, Starswirl and the Deer Seers wanted to create a system which would alert them to any children born out of wedlock who needed assistance. or to provide for them should they be too young. It also served as a system by which they could keep most of the Nobility in line.

She just never thought to check on Luna's records.

“Luna, we rule a Principality that’s been mislabeled as a Kingdom,” Best line I've read in a while. :rainbowlaugh:

6047252

Heh, i never thought anyone would get that. Nice to know that it made ya laugh.

6042589 Ooh, intriguing. I wonder if any of the other Mane Six are descended of either.

Also, I noticed that Celestia had a bet going. By the way she phrased it, the person she made the bet with is still alive. Are there other immortals in your head-canon/universe?

6047308

There are the Deer Seers, who are basically the Elves of that world.

yet not once trace of her sister was to be found.
one
“I’m sure that most of there don’t even belong here…”
these
“I’d always wondered why you didn’t end up looking like the you were on fire, what with all that magical energy.”
like you were
Hours later Celestia had found her sister the the same room,
sister in the same

Loved it! I had entertained the thought of one of the princesses finding out that they were related to a large majority of the populace but this is the first time I've seen someone really highlight it like this in such a comical manor.

6047335
Noted with the corrections made, thanks for pointing them out.

At first I thought this was a more sad fic, recounting about the time Luna didn't get to spend with her son and whatnot. Then it did a 180 and I was laughing my ass off. Bravo.

A great many corrections in punctuation and capitalization need to be made (a great many), perhaps a few said-tags here and there to help know who is speaking, and the utilization of horizontal rules would serve this fic well. But all in all, I thought this fic was extremely hilarious. I never would have thought to predict how many of the equestrian citizens were descendants of the royal family.

From now on, I will refer to Luna as the mother of Equestria. :rainbowlaugh:

Well done my good sir! Well done!

6047235

We know she has fire powers, and supposedly would be able to control the sun if she became an alicorn.

This story made me laugh. It needs to be proofread, but I faved it anyway.

Evening Star is a youtuber that makes brony music.

So Luna had a Child with Morpheus huh... well obviously she must have taken the Red Pill.

Is there any sequel planned for this? :rainbowlaugh:

Is anyone going to point out to her that after 40 generations, they would have no measurable genetic similarity to her compared to the general population?

This is appalling in terms of grammar and punctuation. Like, inexcusable mistakes. Right from the start.

 

Just another one of those nights she supposed, maybe a light snack would serve her well. Up in the sky the moon made its usual course due west..

Should be:

Just another one of those nights, she supposed. Maybe a light snack would serve her well. Up in the sky, the moon made its usual course due west.

 

With minimal effort Celestia moved, her earlier drowsiness all but gone, I should probably get something to eat, maybe then i can get back to sleep. she mused. a quick peek out her door

Should be:

With minimal effort Celestia moved, her earlier drowsiness all but gone. I should probably get something to eat. Maybe then I can get back to sleep, she mused. A quick peek out of her door

 

Perhaps I should check on Luna? She thought, after all it was well within the middle of Luna’s ‘shift’ as some put it. and it had been quite a while since both had talked at such an hour. perhaps she could convince her to leave her post for a bit, maybe talk over a midnight snack.

Should be:

Perhaps I should check on Luna, she thought. After all, it was well within the middle of Luna’s "shift", as some put it. It had been quite a while since both had talked at such an hour. Perhaps she could convince her to leave her post for a bit, maybe talk over a midnight snack.

 
Honestly, I know people are going to say "stuff like that doesn't matter", but they're wrong. I'm not even being a grammar nazi; even with these corrections, it's still technically wrong, but that is the BARE MINIMUM of quality that you should make sure you have before you post. It's stuff you should know before you get to high school. And it's all the way through this fic. People who don't care don't care, and that's fine, but if you want to actually WRITE, you need to get it together and not have so many shockingly basic errors. I mean, I only looked at the first three paragraphs.

You have potential, but it's important to recognise that ignoring punctuation and grammar isn't okay if you actually want to write. The upvotes come from the STORY, which is pretty good, but please please make sure you know that they also come from people who either don't know or don't care about the basic rules of writing. Keep practising, and TRY HARD to fix these errors.

Good luck!

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