• Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 18th, 2021

Uzlesniz Savage


Formally Watt Savage, if you new me as that, its still me, just changed a bit....im a earth pony now XD, thou im still the same colt, drop by and say hi, Later yo -Uzlesniz

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Twilight has been able to feel when her friends are going to leave equestria forever. So she helps them by giving them a great last day, but when the time comes, will she be able or ready to leave herself.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 7 )

I know that this story was about Twilight...

but it feels like you might have rushed the other deaths. They were just sort of there.

Interesting concept, but you've got a ton of grammatical errors and a huge wall o' text that makes the entire story nearly unreadable. I'd suggest you get your hooves on an editor that can help you smooth the rough edges out.

hey. if you read my story, try to add to the like our dislike. whichever you did. thanx and keep readin':eeyup:

you got a good concept, but if your writing style haven't changed yet, it has to do that fast. Like my pre-reader always tells me: You have to let the reader live the whole thing instead of telling them what happens. Iwon't go into detail now, but I wantto say one thing. The whole thing felt kind of rushed and seemed to be made up very fast. Some lines felt like lonesome tries to describe what's going on, like the lines where you give the amounts of time the characters talk to each other.
The whole thing feels emotionless and without character.
But even though it's a often used concept you still managed to make it interesting in some ways.

790961 I have liked this for now, because even though it's not the best thing I ever read it's first also not the worst and second I can see you put work into it.

:eeyup:hey...i font really plan on putting work into it because I'm working on another story.... But thanx for your like and comment:scootangel:. Keep readin :eeyup:

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