Takes place near the end of 'Pinkie Pride.' At the party, Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich find time to joke around, talk, and learn about each other. And soon, a question comes up that's been on Pinkie's mind, leading to an interesting, little backstory. Hints of CheesePie.
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This story is, sort of, just a small expansion of the scene where Cheese tells Pinkie about how he became a party pony.
I'm guessing like 40% of this story is just a song. Other than that, there is not much going on.
The words that are said in the story have been said before on the show.
Nothing is new here.
*claps hooves erratically*
Huh? What's that?
*claps hooves erratically*
It's getting louder.
*a giant crowd of hooves clapping*
Well done, you have done an amazing job on this! For someone's first story, you have done splendid.
I doubt I would have been that good on my first story. Love the way you write Cheese to be a sweet, shy little colt and Pinkie Pie being the adorable, energetic filly.
I wish to see more of you stories, and for that, you are getting a like, fave and a follow.
P.S. Don't let *points to the comment below me* this guy get you down.
5990455 Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Though, this is my first time writing an MLP story, I've written a bit of fanfiction before for other cartoons, so that might be why it didn't turn out worse.
Thanks so much for favoriting and following!
Also, I'm sure the criticism will help me to improve.
Okay, I'm going to give you pros and cons. Please don't be offended. By the way, most of the cons are just simple jokes.
CONS:
Is this Pinkie and Cheese we're talking about? Are you sure?
Yeah, right.
Called it!
Yeah, are you a stalker?
Also, like what 5990424 said, this fic was 40% is just a song. I advice that you give more description.
PROS:
This was a cute little fic. I LOVE CheesePie.
We need a Cheese emoji!
Also, this was worthy of a fave.
I hereby give this story a stamp of approval.
TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND MLPLOVER852 (me) APPROVE!
5992174 Thanks for the constructive criticism. I'll try to improve in the future.
And I'm glad that you and Twilight approve.
Alrighty, as your first fanfiction... I like it! I really really, genuinely like this story! Awesome idea, great exposition, and the characters are, you know, in character. Also, CheesePie. However, as much as I like to see it again, I don't think you really have to
copy and pastewrite all if the lyrics to the Smile Song because:A) It takes up too much of the story and
B) A lot of people have heard this story before.
But anyways, don't stop writing! You're full of tons off potential!
5996050 I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I'll try to improve in the future.
Thanks for following and favoriting the story!
5996318 Still, I'm looking forward to anything else you have planned. Also, no probs.
Cute!
5997256 I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks for following!
5997441 Welcome!
Feeling very sorry I didn't come across this story before....this was so sweet and very very heartwarming and cute. Just....AAAHHHH!!! SO MANY GOOD FEELS!
6562171 I'm glad you liked it!
Thanks for favoriting and adding it to your bookshelf!